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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending October 10th, 2009

In order to consolidate our Eye Candy coverage, we’ve developed a new feature: Unwrapped! We’ll take all the new photoshoots from the week and grade (or “brand”) each based on the following criteria:

Appearance (hair, clothes, makeup.. you get the drift)
Poses (are they versatile or just glorified statues?)
Uniqueness (have we seen this photoshoot a billion times before?)
Grading scale: Sweet (Great)/Bland (Iffy)/Sour (Awful)

Beth Phoenix‘s On the Spot
Appearance: In a very un-Beth-like move, the Glamazon is wearing a girly polka-dotted dress. It looks good on her, though, and the cut shows off her rock-hard back in a very sexy way. I can’t help but think it’s probably too girly for her frame, with the frilly-ness and the polka dots and the bow, but I like that she’s venturing out a bit. The color is quite pretty, too. The black heels are killer.
Poses: She goes for a whole variety of poses, some serious, some sweet. It shows her range, and I absolutely love the back-exposing pose–it shows off her sculpted frame, and she almost looks like a statue (in a good way, not a Kelly Kelly way).
Uniqueness: Beth’s wearing a pretty little party dress! That’s new to me!
Grade: Sweet. I’m sure this isn’t a lasting thing, but I like seeing this different side to Beth. It shows that she’s more than the “muscular chick”.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Lacey Von Erich‘s Peep Show
Appearance: Lacey’s wearing a hot pink tube top and black leather shorts, but I have a feeling the clothes don’t matter, because she sheds the top. Maybe that’s a good thing, because she’s one pair of thigh-high boots away from looking like a streetwalker.
Poses: I’ll forgive Lacey for this, since she’s new, but this is the absolute opposite of subtlety. It’s worse than cheesy, it’s cheesecake-y. I wish we were beyond girls in wrestling taking their tops off, but I guess we aren’t.
Uniqueness: Playing into a stereotype is about the least unique a person can be. Yuck.
Grade: Sour. I think I slipped back into the late 90s with this shoot. It wasn’t a fun trip.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Layla‘s Voyez les Vues
Appearance: Layla’s a jet-setter, donning head-to-toe black and striking sunglasses. It’s not very exciting, but I suppose the sights are meant to take center stage. She tosses on a beret in a few shots, which, while cute, is kind of distractingly cliche.
Poses: A few are fun (jumping for joy in from of the Eiffel Tower), but others are just kinda blah.. I understand that the scenery is the focus, and it’s gorgeous, but Layla is kind of just standing there. She could make it look a whole lot more exciting instead of just looking like a tourist caught in a candid photo.
Uniqueness: Ah, Paris! That’ll beat the traditional black backdrop any day..
Grade: Bland. The sights are gorgeous, but the Diva isn’t pulling her weight. The poses bore, and make me look at what’s behind her instead, which I’m sure wasn’t the objective of the shoot.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots and vote for your favorite.

Maria‘s Purple Haze
Appearance: It’s all about the purple. Maria’s purple top and boots are gorgeous in their color, but not much in their actual structure. The lacey lingerie-esque top looks a little skimpy on its own, especially with such tiny shorts, but Maria certainly has the body for it. The boots, with their forest of fringe, kind of look like someone skinned Sweetums the Muppet and dyed him purple. Not a pleasant image..
Poses: Her poses are windswept and sexy, but almost in a Whitesnake video way. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and it kind of goes with her rock-n-roll look. I just don’t know if looking like the silhouette you’d find on a mudflap is something she should stick with.
Uniqueness: Divas often look like music video girls, but Whitesnake video girls? Now that’s a step up, Maria.
Grade: Bland. Maria’s definitely got a style of her own, and this is an instance where it’s not a clusterfuck, but still not quite right. It’s sort of comme çi, comme ça, but in a Maria way.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Michelle McCool‘s Dark Diva
Appearance: It’s sleek on top, with a tube top and tights and a stack of bracelets. The bottom, though, is where it hits a speedbump. The boots, while sexy, have a pirate-like fold-over portion that look way out of place. It clashes with the rest of the streamlined look, and I kind of want to just cut off the flap so it doesn’t spoil the rest of it.
Poses: Michelle’s heel poses are almost stone-faced, but in a few she looks a bit more charismatic. She just needs to get comfortable with looking serious in a shoot without looking sleepy. The body poses are simple and compliment the look.
Uniqueness: Head-to-toe black is rarely pulled off this well.
Grade: Sweet. Michelle looks fantastic, but she needs to better convey her heel persona without looking bored.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Tiffany‘s Good Business
Appearance: Nothing says “business lady” like a blazer! That said, I really like it. It’s probably because I love the color gray, but it really makes the look pop amongst all the black. The metallic heels look kinda out of place, though.
Poses: Paired with a pretty maroon chair, Tiffany looks sweet, but not very business-like. Judging by these photos, she doesn’t look like a very commanding GM. I’m not saying she can’t laugh and smile, but I don’t get a very take-charge attitude from her. Alas, I know it’s a photoshoot, and judging it solely on those merits, she’s working it.
Uniqueness: Tiffany is business wear? Just another day in the office.
Grade: <Sweet. Sorry Debra, but Tiffany looks better in blazers than you ever did. It probably has something to do with the fact that she’s not in danger of choking on her own cleavage.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Now that you’ve gotten our perspective, which photoshoot did you like best? Vote in the poll below and sing your song in the comments!

NOTE ON TNA PHOTOSHOOTS – I tend to only cover photoshoots with a decent amount of photos. So if TNA has a new shoot with Tara, but there’s only 3 photos, I’m going to skip it. No hard feelings. But if you see any new, sizable TNA shoots feel free to drop us a tweet and let us know–it’s tough to keep track of their new stuff!

[poll id=”428″]

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