What’s up Diva fans and welcome to this week’s WWE Superstars Redux. On this week’s edition of the “let’s give Tony Daw-ful some much needed practice” brand, we see Divas Champion Kaitlyn teaming with Layla to face Aksana and Tamina Snuka for what feels like the 2,980,435th time, although I think it’s actually only the third time! Kaitlyn and Layla were victorious on the last two occasions so will it be third time lucky for Aksana and Tamina? With Layla blindly tagging herself in the last time this particular match happened, will there be more trouble in paradise for the Divas Champ and the English Muffin? Let’s have a look!
Out first this week is the butterfly belt holder herself Kaitlyn, and I’m not going to lie, I HATE her new theme. Why has she fell out of love with the superb ice-breaking party game that is Spin the Bottle? I was hoping her new theme would have a Truth or Dare or Charades theme, yet unfortunately, that isn’t the case! Out next is the spunky Layla, ready to perform in front of her home country crowd. Layla looks phenomenal although I can’t help but think that her gold and silver attire was possibly her WrestleMania one, and then she’s had to wear it in a normal match after the past vs present Divas storyline was canned. LOL! And no, I wasn’t copying off the way Layla signs off tweets, I was laughing. Out next is the Samoan island royalty, Tamina Snuka. I can hear the sound of crickets in her theme song, or is that in the arena? Hard to tell. Out finally, is Aksana, who is strutting her stuff to the sound of a saxophone player with a chesty cough. She’s nailing her character though, something she’s been getting much better at recently! Kaitlyn isn’t impressed, although I’m impressed with her facial expressions – she’s so goofy! God, I’m in a weird mood today…
Onto the match and the bout starts with Kaitlyn and Aksana facing off. Aksana is perfectly showcasing her ‘trying to be sexy and failing miserably’ dancing and Kaitlyn makes sure we don’t sit through too much of it as she decks Aksana with a clothesline. Following a suplex, Kaitlyn wrenches a wristlock on Aksana, yet the Lithuanian Lovely worms her way out and applies an armlock of her own. Out of the referee’s view, Aksana yanks at Kaitlyn’s hair, forcing her into the mat. Aksana goes for the cover, which is to no avail, so instead of getting back to work on Kaitlyn’s arm, she taunts, nice tactics Aksana! Kaitlyn slaps the taste (of Antonio Cesaro?) out of Aksana’s mouth whilst Matt Striker explains possibly the biggest example of the term ‘clutching at straws’ that I have ever heard.
AKSANA SOILED KAITLYN’S MAKE-UP!
Erm, doesn’t that mean she excreted on it? At least, that’s what I thought soiled meant? Or is it when you soak something with water? I’m incredibly confused by Matt’s tremendous vocabulary and normally, I’d be fine with his usual descriptive ways but Matt, you made it so awkward this time. Whilst this has been going on, Kaitlyn has tagged Layla in and has Aksana hoisted up, ready to be spanked by Layla. Lay then hits her vintage hairgrab takeover before kicking Aksana in the gut. From there, the only British born Divas Champion hits her infinity pin attempt (finally we have a way to call this move!) for a two count. She then sends her foe into the corner, yet Aksana rebounds with a stiff elbow. She then sends Layla headfirst into the top turnbuckle before choking her with her foot. Layla then quite uniquely uses her legs to trip and kick Aksana off of her and whilst it’s hard to describe without sounding bland, it really did look pretty sweet in my opinion.
Aksana then tags in Tamina and the two exchange kicks and blows. Matt Striker then refers to Tamina as the ‘Anti-Diva’ and I have to stop for a moment to throw up in the toilet at his misuse of such a godly nickname that is only suited for Paige! An irish whip later and Layla has hit her Lots of Layla crossbody yet Tamina is having none of it and quickly swats Layla off like a fly. The Choatic Exotic then forces Layla into the corner and bullies her with a barrage of boots. She then whips Layla to the opposite corner, and Layla goes up top to try and avert some harm, yet Aksana devilishly distracts her opponent and Tamina sends Layla flying chest first.
Logic has seemingly left Tamina, who has decided to aim her offence of Layla’s back now it seems as she hits a suplex. Tony Dawson then talks utter nonsense by declaring that “these teams don’t often sqaure off” and I’m left scratching my eyeballs out at his stupidity. the heels then start a collection of quick tags as they stomp the breath out of Layla. Aksana then toys with Kaitlyn, who is getting increasingly annoyed and Aksana continues to annoy by taunting the crowd. The second best on-screen wife of Goldust (Marlena ftw) then applies a submisison to Layla, yet it’s not long before Layla feeds off her home country crowd’s chants and she tags in Kaitlyn!
The Hybrid Diva levels Tamina with a clothesline, followed by an elbow. She kicks Aksana off the apron for good measure before knocking the stuffing out of Tamina with a shoulder tackle. Kaitlyn showcases her strength excellently by hosting Tamina to her shoulders and she hits her patented gutbuster, yet the landing is no sold by Tamina, which is a shame. Aksana tries to get back into the action, but she is speared by Kaitlyn. Layla then grabs hold of Tamina and cannons her right into Kaitlyn’s path, allowing Kaitlyn to hit perhaps her best Spear to date. 1-2-3!
Thoughts: The Spear at the end was great. I also feel like Aksana is gradually getting better with her character presentation, as is Kaitlyn. Her subtle looks of disgust towards Aksana were nice to see and although I’m often picky, it’s harder to perform as a face so Kaitlyn is doing good for the little she has been given to work with. Other than that though, this match really had no story or any notable moves. Layla was in trouble for a lot of the match, yet no body part in particular was targeted so it left me less involved with the action. It’s better to see the girls than not to see them at all, so I’m glad this match happened, yet I’m looking forward to seeing something much more refreshing in AJ vs Kaitlyn as opposed to this same stale old tag match yet again. Kaitlyn speared both of her opponents tonight and won convincingly, so hopefully those spears acted as final nails in the coffin to bland Divas storylines. Here’s too positive thinking about Kaitlyn and AJ – fingers crossed! And with that, stay tuned, Jack will be back!