Sunday, March 3, 2024

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Beth Thinks Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Beth Phoenix in “Pink Persuasion”

We’re debuting a new format for our Eye Candy posts – complete with more detailed critiques and “graded” categories. View the photoshoot we’ve “hung” on our wall, read our critique, vote, and last but not least – sound off in the comments!

The Look: Well, we asked for more Beth photoshoots, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t wwhat we had in mind. This one’s nothing more than a glorified game of “dress up”, and Beth looks less like Marilyn Monroe in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” and more like a costume contest reject. It’s not only the fact that this is soooooo far departed from her character (although that plays a big part), but it looks so cheap. The dress itself looks like something from the sale rack at a department store, and her hair just falls flat. To be honest, I’d hate any Diva in this look, but Beth looks so out of place in it that I’d almost prefer it on anyone else. Grade: C

The Poses: The statuesque poses and sly smirk are perfect for a costume-y look, but the glamourshot-esque “far off” stares just look creepy. I love the photo where she’s smiling, and I believe she should’ve stuck with that for the whole shoot. If you’re looking to evoke Marylin, you should do what she did best – be playful and grin from ear to ear. I’m no Marylin Monroe expert, but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t a ice queen, and that’s what Beth is evoking in this shoot. Grade: C

Uniqueness: Everyone and their mother has dressed up like Marilyn Monroe, so it’s hardly a unique concept. (I think Lindsay Lohan has cornered the market on terrible Marilyn “tributes”.) However, the fact that it’s Beth doing it gives it a different spin – it’s something you certainly wouldn’t expect out of the Glamazon. In that sense, it’s unique. But honestly, did they really think the world needed another blonde girl in elbow-length gloves and a strapless gown evoking a Hollywood icon? Because I sure didn’t. Grade: B-

Overall: From the costume shop aesthetic to the rigid posing, Beth sure doesn’t pull off the “classic screen siren” look. As much as I like seeing her mix it up and show that (like Marilyn) you don’t have to be built like a stick to look sexy, I can’t bring myself to like this shoot all that much. Grade: C

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