Tuesday, December 5, 2023

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Impact Write-Up (June 17th, 2010): Welcome To The Angelina Love Express. Destination: Victory Road.

I just ripped off a Sue Sylvester quote for my title this week. I’m so sorry.

I don’t know about you guys, but the lack of Knockouts on last week’s Impact left me pretty bitter and disgusted. It was the last show before their pay-per-view extravaganza, Slammiversary, and they did absolutely nothing to build up to Roxxi versus Madison Rayne for the TNA Knockouts Championship. As awful as that was, the worst was yet to come as we witnessed an absolute travesty take place at Slammiversary. Roxxi was unceremoniously fired from TNA with little, to no explanation and we had to watch her once again sacrifice herself for this company that seemingly has no respect for her sacrifices and work ethic. The way TNA has treated Roxxi is despicable, but life goes on and now I suggest that all of us fans move on as well. As we found out tonight, Angelina Love is now back in action and she already has a title shot at TNA’s next PPV, Victory Road. With that in mind, Angelina stepped into the ring against Lacey von Erich, the woman who replaced her in the Beautiful People. The match wasn’t to shabby which is a lot more than I can say for Angelina’s ugly ring gear

skip ahead to 1:40

Mid-way through the first half of Impact, the camera cuts to a backstage shot of a pair of nicely tanned legs. One of the TNA Knockouts is laying down, or laying out, and as the camera pans up the female’s body, the guys who watch are treated to a barely covered backside. On said backside sits one of the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship belts and upon further review, the Knockout who is getting a massage is our girl, Lacey. She’s smiling and at peace with her surroundings as the masseur goes to work on her lower back. One of the commentators (Mike Tenay if I remember right) makes a remark that Lacey has an odd way of preparing for her match tonight.

Angelina made her way to the ring later on. We didn’t really get to see the ring entrance thanks to a video package of some TNA action figures that no one is going to buy, but whatever. I’m not exactly bothered. Angelina is already talking and she mentions that because she’s been sitting on the sidelines for the past six weeks thanks to an injury, she now knows how precarious an athlete’s position in life can be. It basically put everything in perspective for her, because Angelina realizes that every match could very well end up being her last because of all the risk factors involved in wrestling; one wrong move can end everything. Angelina says she is not going to waste another second of her career. She calls out Lacey, saying that it’s them two tonight, and come next week, she’s going to get Velvet. Angelina continues on by saying that at Victory Road she will regain her Knockouts Championship against Madison. Angelina tells Lacey to get out there now and the BP’s theme music hits.

Lacey saunters out onto the entrance ramp and she’s looking gorgeous, like always. I’m not to sure I like her new, shorter hair, but she’s beautiful nonetheless and looks ready for her match. Correct me if I’m wrong (and I know all of you will) but this is Lacey’s first real singles match in TNA, right? She makes her way to the ring with her title on her shoulder, and does her customary flip into the ring. As soon as Lacey lands on her feet, Angelina tries to behead with a clothesline. Lacey goes down and the match is on!

The bell rings and Lacey is picked up by Angelina and thrown face first into a turnbuckle. She’s left to clutch her face in pain but the Canadian ex-champ is relentless. She drags Lacey to the opposite end of the ring and bounces her face off another turnbuckle before kicking Lacey in the mid-section a couple of times. She then drags Lacey to the center of the ring, wraps her arm around Lacey’s neck and begins kneeing her in the stomach. Lacey is in obvious pain right now but there’s little she can do to stop Angelina’s brutal attack. The number one contender is out to make the most of all of her in-ring appearances now and Lacey is just her first victim.

Angelina finally drops Lacey to the ground and the Von Erich beauty crawls over to the corner to try and help herself up. She staggers to her feet, but Angelina is waiting on it, ready to pounce. She attacks Lacey in the corner and shoves her foot on the other girl’s throat. Using the ropes for leverage, Angelina starts choking Lacey which basically renders the poor thing helpless. Thankfully, the referee gets Angelina back off for a few seconds, but she goes back to work and sends Lacey across the ring. She charges after her but somehow, Lacey is able to leap onto the middle rope and backflip over Angelina. She lands on her feet, nails Angelina with a drop toehold, and goes for a cover. Angelina is out of it after a two count and Lacey starts trash talking Angelina. Angelina is holding her nose and really, all Lacey’s meager offense does is piss of the former Beautiful People leader.

Angelina knocks Lacey off her feet and seems poised to finish this match off once and for all. Surprisingly, Von Erich has some fight left in her and as soon as she gets her feet, she grabs Angelina by the hair and slams her down. Angelina’s skull bounces off the mat and she begins crawling to the corner. Lacey follows her and once Angelina is up on her feet, Lacey hits her with a right hand. Angelina is caught off guard by the shot and that allows Lacey to hit the middle rope again and she begins to work over Angelina with some nice corner shots. Eventually Angelina remembers her goal for the match and she powerbombs Lacey to the canvas.

That’s really it for Lacey. She can’t get up from the powerbomb. Despite that fact, Angelina decides that winning against Lacey just isn’t enough. She wants to hurt her opponent, and hurt her bad. She goes to the outside of the ring and brings in a chair. The referee bitches at her but does Angelina listen? She lays the chair out and picks up Lacey, DDTing her right across the steel. The bell rings. Angelina has been disqualified but that’s beside the point. She’s knocked out Lacey and taken her out, and Angelina mouths the words “one down” as she leaves the ring.

So moving on! I’m getting the impression that I’m probably the last person left who cares about the Abyss/Chelsea/Desmond storyline, but in case there is actually one other person who’s been keeping up with the drama, here is your Weekly Chelsea Watch. To back track for a hot minute, Chelsea was last seen tossing brass knuckles to Abyss during the Slammiversary Monsters’ Ball match, thus signaling a split between herself and Desmond. On Impact this week, our first sign of Chelsea came in a backstage segment. It’s pretty disturbing to say the last. She’s begging Abyss to listen to her and telling him that she no longer wants to be with Desmond. Apparently, Chelsea has been on the receiving end of Desmond’s mental abuse for years now and she just can’t take it anymore. She wants to be with Abyss.

Sadly for Chelsea, Abyss doesn’t seem to sympathize with her plight like she wants. He tells her that their deal was only for thirty days and now she has to go back with Desmond. Chelsea is begging and pleading, and Abyss firmly states that tonight is not the night and he goes to walk off. Chelsea screams at him to wait and grabs his arm, turning him around. This seems to piss off the monster and he backs her against some steel scaffolding and grips her shoulders. In a crazy man voice, Abyss informs Chelsea that after tonight she’s not going to want to be around him and after looking at her all creeper like, he walks off. Chelsea dissolves into tears.

Our second Chelsea sighting of the night involves Desmond Wolfe. He is seen backstage laying down the law to the pretty brunette. She’s shaking like a leaf while he declares that he’s a ticking time bomb and that he is about to snap. He tells Chelsea that he is going to talk to her later about what happened at Slammiversary and that he’ll talk to her later about what she said to Abyss. Chelsea just seems like she wants to tell him to go away but she doesn’t have the nerve to speak the words. Desmond implies that Chelsea can redeem herself tonight and asks her several times if he’s made himself clear. She never replies and Impact goes to commercial.

When Impact returns, Desmond is in the ring waiting for Jay Lethal and he has Chelsea with him. She doesn’t seem excited and reluctantly snatches his jacket from him as he taunts her. She scurries out of the ring as Lethal makes his way out and the match gets underway. Desmond spends the first few minutes of the match harassing Chelsea and ignoring his opponent. Chelsea starts bitching back at him, and Tommy Dreamer makes his way down through the crowd. Chelsea and Desmond’s fighting allows Lethal to catch his opponent off-guard, but the crafty Desmond gets the advantage back. He screams something down at Chelsea and she begins walking away. Of course she trips (horribly, might I add) and Desmond stalks towards her like a scene out of some cheap horror movie. Chelsea looks terrified but luckily for her, Jay Lethal intervenes and Chelsea is able to run off to safety.

Cool night for Knockouts on Impact.

The Good: There were several things that were good tonight, but the one that sticks out in mind the most is the actual match itself. It didn’t need to be super long or anything like that. Lacey is green in the ring and limited in what she can do so there was no need to exploit that. What we got was a solidly booked match that served to build up Angelina in her return and secure her status as the one who will end the Beautiful People. Lacey was the perfect punching bag tonight. She sold Angelina’s offense very, very well and thanks to Lacey, Angelina came off looking like an absolute beast. The DDT on the chair was sick and I appreciate the fact that Lacey was willing to go in there and do that. Angelina is one of the rare performers who have the total package. She can act. She can wrestle. She has charisma. I loved her facial expressions as Lacey began to mount offense. Angelina just looked so pissed!

What little offense Lacey was able to manage was pretty decent as well. Look, she’s not going to knock anyone’s socks off with her dazzling offense, but Lacey’s willingness to get in there and try has to be respected. Her punches delivered from the middle rope were convincing and her backflip was nice. Lacey improves every time she gets in the ring and TNA is showing more faith in her by giving her a singles match. Lacey has no one to shield her in singles matches, and no one to work for her. She had to get in there and do it herself, and she did her job well. Angelina proved that she can work with anyone and produce a quality match and I really just can’t say enough great things about these two. I really enjoyed that little match.

How much fun was it to see So Cal Val ripped from the chair and carelessly tossed to the ground by Angelina?! That had to be my favorite part of the entire night.

The Bad: Chelsea and Abyss’ backstage segment was bad, even though it was acted pretty well. Chelsea isn’t improving that fast, but her whining and pleading with Abyss to take her certainly convinced me she wanted nothing to do with Desmond. The reason I find this angle deplorable is because in my humble opinion, Chelsea and Desmond were good together. They were a hot couple and who doesn’t enjoy seeing a hot guy and a hot girl run rampant over other people? They had great chemistry and presented a pretty picture. I had a bad feeling they would end up putting Chelsea with Abyss and I was right. The only thing that could potentially salvage this angle would be if it’s an all elaborate set-up concocted by Desmond. It’s not like the angle is going anywhere else. Abyss didn’t bother to make the save last night when Chelsea was being bullied by Desmond. I thought for a split second that Tommy Dreamer might save her, but that didn’t come to fruition either. The angle is just dragging out and that’s never a good thing.

Chelsea’s “trip” up the ramp was bad too. It wasn’t an Eve-like epic fail, but Chelsea has been with TNA long enough to be able to take a proper bump. I don’t know if she’s trying to protect herself or what, but she’s got to start selling more and playing a little harder. She’s gorgeous and I love her character, but she needs to get fans behind her at this point. She’s got to find a way to make us care and hate Desmond more, but she’s not delivering. Whatever TNA is going for with this isn’t working as well as it should. I didn’t read spoilers so whatever happens next week is going to be a surprise for me. I hope it’s a lot better than what we saw tonight.

The Ugly: As far as the ugly goes, there was only one thing that sticks out in my mind. Angelina Love has never been the most fashion forward Knockout. In fact, none of the Knockouts dress particularly well. But Angelina’s silver outfit truly brought ugly to a whole new level. I’m not going to sit here and crack tinfoil jokes, but I’m pretty sure she could have picked up radio stations out in the Sahara dessert with that get-up on. It was ugly. Sometimes I find myself questioning the facilities in the Impact Zone. Do the Knockouts have to get dressed in the dark? Of course, Angelina probably had no trouble finding her outfit in the dark but still.

Alright, I’m done.

Tonight was a good effort for the Knockouts. It surprises no one that Angelina has been handed a title shot, and I’ll go on record by saying she’ll walk away with the title come Victory Road. That’s worth discussing in the future, however. What we saw tonight could signal the beginning of the end of the Beautiful People. If Angelina is going to pick them apart one by one, then I fully expect them to fall apart by the time Victory Road rolls around. They’re not going to be able to stop the Angelina Express, especially if they’re hurting and not on the same page. A lot of us have been waiting for the break up the Beautiful People and those who want that, may very well end up getting what they want.

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