Tuesday, February 27, 2024

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Impact Write-Up (May 20th, 2010): Welcome Back, Roxxi! And May I Add, You’re Looking Fab!

This past Sunday at Sacrifice we sadly watched as Tara‘s TNA career came to an end at the hands of TNA Knockouts Champion, Madison Rayne. The young champion finally earned her stripes and hopefully a little respect within the wrestling community with her big win over Tara. This week, on the heels of her biggest TNA victory, Madison competes against TNA familiar face, Roxxi, in a non-title match up. How did they both fare? Well stop wondering and keep reading! Like duh!

Roxxi is out to the ring first and to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have recognized her if I hadn’t read the spoilers. She looks pretty good. Her hair has grown into a cute bob and the highlight job… superb. She’s got a great hairstylist, let me tell you. The only thing about her appearance that bothers me? The weird brown outfit. Not a fan really. TNA explains her mysterious, five-month absence by taking us back to New Year’s Knockouts Eve and the match featuring Roxxi and Hamada. Like a moron, I pause the video to type this little section up and I pause it on the grotesque angle that shows Roxxi foot being broken. It’s a horrible angle and I’ll probably have nightmares when I go to sleep.

But hey, all you Hamada fans should be happy. She got mentioned and we got a three second video!

Yes, I’m cruel tonight. Not sure why I feel so damn feisty. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked. Roxxi stands in the ring and homegirl looks stacked and fit. I’m loving her appearance and now it’s time for the champion to come to the ring. Madison is alone and that suits me just fine. I really didn’t want to write about the lesbian entrance of the BP for the 3490749327402th time. Madison looks pretty adorable herself and I just appreciate the way she’s carrying herself now. Since winning that title, Madison has started to carry herself with this very appealing little swagger. It suits her, as does championship gold.

Mike Tenay reminds us that Roxxi has had issues with the BP for ages as the bell rings and the match gets underway. The more powerful of the two women, Roxxi, takes control right off the bat. She rolls Madison into several pinning combinations before beginning to work over Madison’s arm and shoulder. Eventually the champ is thrown into one of the corners, flattened against it thanks to a splash, and once she comes tumbling out of it, Roxxi bounces off the ropes and flies at her with a knee. Madison luckily dodges this and Roxxi gets hung up on the ropes. Madison clubs her taller opponent in the back a few times before grabbing her by the hair and slamming her down to the mat. Roxxi’s head bounces off the ground and she’s in obvious pain now. Welcome back, right?

Madison allows Roxxi like half a second to get to her knees and then she wisely nails her in the face with a kick. Madison takes her turn attempting a pin but she only gets a lame one count. Madison goes back on offense, but the frisky New Orleans native fights back. Evidently, it’s not enough right now because Madison ends up on Roxxi’s back in this modified camel clutch thing and starts wrenching Roxxi’s face back. Make no mistake, Madison has a handful of hair as well and when Roxxi doesn’t immediately submit, Madison slams the Beautiful People’s long-time foe down face first. Without letting Roxxi recover, Madison locks her into that camel clutch thing again. This time she pulls Roxxi’s head back by the nose and really, that would annoy me. Much like the last time, Roxxi eats the mat and we’re treated to riveting commentary about Madison Rayne’s mean streak.

Madison slams Roxxi in the back and goes for a quick cover, but once again Roxxi is able to power out after the one. As Madison backs off, Roxxi attempts to pick herself up with the ropes, but Madison’s not really okay with that. She uses the ropes to help control Roxxi and she begins choking her with her leg. Madison breaks the hold and Roxxi goes to the corner, where Madison follows. Roxxi is able to get the leg up and Madison takes the kick to her gut. She staggers back but is quick to come back with a kick of her own. Roxxi is in trouble and to make her predicament worse, Madison starts to use the ropes to choke her. After breaking the hold, Madison moves away which allows Roxxi a chance to try and collect herself. It doesn’t really last long because Madison lays her out with a big boot to the side of the skull. She goes for a cover, but Roxxi kicks out after the two.

Madison is not amused and she picks Roxxi up and forces her back to the ropes. She lands a couple of blows and goes to whip Roxxi across the ring. Roxxi hangs on but instead of reversing the move, she scoops Madison up like a baby, tucks her under her arm, and just like that Madison is nail with the VooDoo Drop. I love that finisher! Roxxi gets a huge victory over the Knockouts Champion and sets herself up quite nicely for the next month. Madison’s victory over Tara ends up meaning nothing and I’m going to use the excuse that she’s having a letdown from retiring Tara.

Now, with that done and out of the way, I want to introduce a new feature to the Impact Write-Up. For some reason, I’ve become a total Chelsea fan so I want to start including a “Weekly Chelsea Watch.” She’s clearly involved in a big storyline and I find it fascinating. So for no other reason but for my own selfish pleasure, we are now going to indulge ourselves in the “Weekly Chelsea Watch.” This week signaled the beginning of Chelsea’s 30-day reign as Abyss’ whatever due to the fact Desmond Wolfe lost at Sacrifice. When we first see Chelsea this week, she’s backstage with her man and she’s clearly upset that she no longer gets to live the good life with the sexy Desmond. Being a man, Desmond turns everything back around and says he is the one who has to fly solo for the next thirty days and that’s basically a travesty. He does, however, reassure Chelsea that she belongs to him and only him.

Later on that night, security arrives at the lockerroom of Chelsea and Desmond to collect her so to speak. Desmond does his boyfriend duties and assures Chelsea that everything is going to be okay. To make good on his promise, he vows that if anyone lays a hand on Chelsea, they’re going to have to answer to him. If only I could find a man that good looking and thoughtful. Swoon. Abyss is waiting for them in the ring and Desmond is trailing behind the security that is forcing Chelsea to the ring. Abyss starts talking shit about how at Sacrifice he made Desmond his “bitch” and now he gets to take Desmond’s! This clearly angers the former Nigel McGuiness and he begins to lay down the law for Abyss. He tells him that there’s no way in Hades that Chelsea is going with him and he begins beating the snot out of everyone. Abyss takes a nice shot to the balls and once Desmond is done disposing of security he takes a bottle out of Chelsea’s bag and breaks it off. He actually slices Abyss’ arm which is hilarious to me and Chelsea starts begging him to stop. Wolfe is understandably confused because apparently, Chelsea wanted this to happen. Chelsea keeps trying to stop him and because of that Abyss is able to get the bottle away from Desmond, nail him with his finisher, and bully Chelsea into a corner. With her man unable to protect her any longer, Abyss drags the gorgeous brunette from the ring and I guess she now officially belongs to him.

So help me God, TNA. If you end up making Chelsea like Abyss, I’m going to be so pissed! Wow, that rhymed.

The Good: The return of Roxxi was a good thing. I personally thought she was done with TNA so when I read spoilers and saw that she’s basically the focus now of the main KO storyline, I was pretty shocked. I question this big push she’s getting but I’m definitely glad to see her back. She’s really over with the fans and the girl has mad skills inside the ring. What sets Roxxi apart from everyone else is she’s unique, not only with her looks but her style as well. The best part of tonight’s match for me is how well she sold Madison’s offense and how effortless she made her own finisher look. The VooDoo Drop is phenomenal and it’s perfect for Roxxi.

The match with Madison was just okay. I’m putting it under the “good” section because it wasn’t bad by any means. It seemed slow to me, and like it never got out of first gear. I don’t know if it was because Madison actually did have a “let down” or if it was because this was Roxxi’s first TNA match back in like months. Maybe it was a combination of both things and both women just wanted to take their time and feel one another out. I did feel as if they told a nice little story. It was great seeing the champ dominate a taller, more powerful opponent. I do feel Madison is becoming more and more comfortable in her role as Queen Bee of Knockout Land and it’s showing in her work. I’m not going to say that these two had the best chemistry, but they had a nice match for what it was and I’ll remain open minded as this feud develops.

Chelsea is becoming a better actress as the weeks go on. I think she’s getting more comfortable in TNA as well. We all cringed when she cut her promo with the Pope many, many weeks ago, but this whole Abyss storyline has been pretty tolerable. I like Chelsea. She’s beautiful, stylish, and I love women in wrestling angles that don’t involve wrestling. I love the storyline aspect of the business so this is just great television to me. It’s like a soap opera with a male twist and that’s probably why I’m so drawn to it. Desmond Wolfe being English helps as well…

The Bad: Chelsea trying to stop Desmond from cutting Abyss was bad. If she was truly scared of the man, she would have let Desmond stop him from taking her. I don’t know why she put herself in a position to be taken away but I suppose TNA wants her to develop some redeeming qualities or something. I don’t like that, personally. The Chelsea/Desmond pairing is probably my favorite thing going on in TNA other than AJ styles’ body. If they end up breaking them up because she starts to feel sorry for Abyss or something, I’m going to be furious. On the other hand, maybe all of this is part of some greater, more grand scheme from the devious mind of Desmond Wolfe. Maybe Chelsea’s job is to gain Abyss’ trust and sympathy so they can really stick it to him at the end. It would also make it a hell of a lot easier for Chelsea to get that HoF ring is she was on Abyss’ good side. We’ll see how it plays out.

The Ugly: The lack of Lacey von Erich in my life tonight was pretty ugly. You guys may not like this girl, but I’m a total fan. I was looking forward to seeing if anything would come of her being a rat last week but that seems to have gotten dropped by TNA, at least for now. I didn’t look to far ahead in spoilers, so I don’t know what’s going to happen. I guess I can wait for next week to have some Lacey awesomeness, but it’s going to be a long wait. Good thing the French Open is starting and I’ll have Rafa Nadal to drool over for the next two weeks. Yum.

I had no issues with TNA this week. Shocking, I know. This is two weeks in a row now and I’m starting to get worried. Maybe I’m turning over a new leaf, or maybe I just have such low expectations it doesn’t matter anymore. Tonight’s show was the beginning of a new Knockout Era and it actually wasn’t as terrible as I thought it would be. Until next time…

Cryssi, out!

You can follow me on Twitter at CRYSSIROCKS. I promise to be funny and charming, or just pointless and random. It all depends on my mood ;-)

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