What’s up everyone? Mega apologies for the lateness this week, but as always whenever this is a day off, I’m getting it done as soon as I possibly could so bear with me! I’m here this week and just so it gets up in time, let’s skip over the intro and get right into the juicy goodness that is Monday Night Raw’s Main Event… AGAIN!
It’s time for the main event! Again! Out struts Stephanie looking incredible as Triple H stands behind his wife and they head into the ring for tonights contract signing heading into Summerslam. (Side note: I just realized Stephanie’s theme actually says “She a go-getta” and all this time I thought it for some reason said golddigger… lord.) The Bella Twins, Brie and Nikki, are out next to a great pop from the fans, sporting their new T-Shirts. The two stare off with one another over the table as Triple H dubs Stephanie an icon stepping out of retirement… I love it! He says normally he oversees any time an icon steps into the ring again, but since it’s his wife, he will excuse himself and ask Michael Cole to step in.
Triple H and Stephanie kiss, but Brie wants to get to this already before everyone starts throwing up. Steph claims if anyone should understand about supportive spouses, it’s her! She wants to know if her puny, hippy-dippy little husband is *STILL* out recovering, to which Brie replies by saying “Yes!” along with the crowd. Brie, however, wants to know if Stephanie has still recovered from her arrest a few weeks ago. She asks if when Steph was a jailbird, was it easier for her to trade in her powersuit for her orange jumpsuit… or trade in Triple H for her cellmate Big Beulah (Side note: I know Steph and Brie have used the term “Bitch” a lot in this feud… but that line would’ve packed such a punch if Brie had said “Trade in Triple H for your prison bitch”).
Here’s how it’s going down… not only will Brie beat her, she will embarrass her. It won’t just be in front of 20,000 people, but the entire world. It will be a message that the great Stephanie McMahon is a fraud! A failure! An embarrassment to the McMahon family! This isn’t just for her, Nikki and Daniel. This is for Vickie Guerrero… The Big Show… The Rhodes Family… and for every other person who has felt victimized by The Authority for their amusement. The crowd of course chants CM Punk, but at least this time I don’t feel annoyed by it because it actually does fit.
Brie says he might not help her, but one thing about Karma (GASP)… it always comes around. I’m having hot flashes, stop it Brie. I know you’re trying to get me to buy into the hype but I can’t. I mean, but you said Karma. This foreshadowing is AMAZING… if it’s actually foreshadowing. Dang it, stop doing this to me I can’t take another tease without justice being served.
With that, Brie signs the contract and hands the microphone to this petty, stuck up, caniving piece of trash named Stephanie. Stephanie feigns embarrassment, claiming that she’s 100% sure all of those high profile wrestling legacies and people she named off greatly appreciate that their representation is… a Bella Twin. Stephanie is a fourth generation McMahon, and what is Brie? Nothing. She is nothing more than a wannabe reality star who abandoned her husband and stole the spotlight from her sister just to make a name off of the McMahon legacy at Summerslam. She tells Brie to take a good look in the mirror because what she’ll see is a selfish, conceited shell of a woman. She says she wants to embarrass Stephanie at Summerslam? Well Steph is already embarrassed to be standing in the same ring as her. At Summerslam, it will be Stephanie’s mission to put an end to Brie’s pathetic attempt at making history! Boom.
Steph signs the contract and vows to tear Brie’s heart out in their match, before clocking Nikki over the head with the mic! Triple H shoves the table into Brie, forcing her to fall in the seat and trap herself in the corner. She screams in fear as Stephanie slowly walks over to a downed Nikki, Triple H sitting on the table to ensure she can’t escape. Stephanie picks Nikki up and puts her in position, then dropping her with a pedigree! Stephanie and Triple H start taking part in the Yes Movement, but this distracts him long enough for Brie to nail a slap! She hops over the table! But before she can get to a vertical base, Stephanie smashes her skull right into the top of it. Brie is down and out, as Stephanie hoists her up and drops her face first with a pedigree just the same. The crowd boos huge, as Steph grabs Triple H and the two make out over the downed twins. BADASS!
Following a recap of SmackDown’s events, we head backstage to see Tom Phillips standing by with Paige. She wants to wish AJ a speedy recovery and claims that AJ knows how much she admires her… how it’s her dream to be facing her idol for the Divas Title at Summerslam. She’s basically so excited! And wants AJ to get well and hopes to see her soon. Paige ends it by saying she misses AJ so much and skips off. Yay for mic time.
And in other Diva Goodness this week, check out Summer Rae and Layla with… well, just watch because I don’t have it in me to describe. For the love of Fandango, let him guide you through this with your soul still in place.
And check out Lana get her Marilyn Monroe on as she sings Happy Birthday to our President, Barack Obama:
Stephanie/Brie Contract Signing – The ending of this would’ve definitely made me bring out the “Great” category once again, as would the line about karma (Chills!) and a lot of other parts to be honest. This was still a VERY good segment in my opinion, and the Divas got to close the show two weeks in a row which is history making right? Unfortunately, the one down side I had was that I feel like Stephanie kind of ate Brie alive in their promo this time. The past few weeks it had been way more even sided to me, but Brie, while still showing WAY more improved chops than earlier in the year, hit a few small misses tonight. That’s perfectly fine though (DO YOU REALLY think I am going to go into a rant that a Diva had one or two missteps in a promo that main evented Raw for the second week in a row??) because she is still selling the seriousness of the feud great, and Stephanie definitely did what Steph always does in completely delivering as the “icon stepping out of retirement”… genius.
The double pedigrees were beautiful, especially having Brie trapped and forced to watch on as Nikki feels the first one. For once though, they didn’t make a woman seem like a weakling. Score for smacking Triple H across the face and not letting him restrain her! Ultimately, she fell to the power of a head smack to the table by Stephanie which is 100% believable and I just can’t wait for this match. Their feud has been one of the strongest we’ve seen come to the females in a long, long time, and I only hope that the next few weeks continue to deliver. They don’t have to be the main event every week, so as long as we get something memorable like tonight and the past few go arounds, I’m good. I just love how even the casual, non-Diva fans are looking forward to this feud. And a lot of people still think it should be the true main event of Summerslam as opposed to Brock and Cena. Keep on killing it!
But I have to mention the Kharma line… Brie, you know exactly what you’re doing to us. I could see in your eyes you just know you’re gonna send us all into a tailspin with the sound of that word. Let me be honest when I say I truthfully think the Kharma ship has unfortunately sailed… BUT… if there was ever a time for the stars to allign and bring her back, it’s right now. Kharma may not be as monsterous looking as she was before, but she’s still a force and her serving as Stephanie’s bodyguard would be everything and then some. Brie naming off all of the people Stephanie has wronged in the past was another touch I found intriguing because it would fit perfectly for Steph to be like “Well here’s someone YOU’VE wronged in the past” too. It’s seriously so darn perfect and a story that writes itself, but will they pull the trigger? They can have The Bellas apologize for their past actions and everything to explain them being faces now, but Kharma won’t care. She’s a beast and she vowed to get her revenge on them no matter what.
WWE. Come on. This is it. Give her to us.
Paige Interview – This was fine to me, although I admittedly would’ve liked more. I still think it plays up the seriousness of AJ’s injury from SmackDown really well for her to not be there, and Paige sold everything to perfection. We did also get two replays for those who may have missed it last Friday, so it’s great to see that they’re still playing this up as being something of importance even if we didn’t get a match or ring segment to further it along. Overall, I had no problems with this aside from the fact it left me wanting more which I’m sure is exactly the point it was set out to do.
However, I am starting to regret them keeping this feud mind games-y after Paige’s brutal beatdown a few weeks ago because every single promo is starting to feel like the same thing. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all good in my opinion, and anytime a Diva gets a microphone I’m here for it. But I just feel like we’re not progressing very much. Give us some backstage segments between the two or if they wanted to kill some time before Summerslam, have AJ be out for a week and a half & just put Paige on screen demolishing people then cutting get well soon promos after the matches. Have her visit AJ with a card and some flowers! Stuff like that would be freaking legendary. I can just see a pretaped segment now with Paige posing as a delivery woman to get inside AJ’s home then walking up to her in bed with a card and flowers as she cuts a cryptic promo over Lee, who is bedridden and thus can’t fire back. Ugh, that would probably send me to an early grave to be honest, but I’m going too far into my own world so I’ll end it there.
Lana – Get your Barden Bella on Lana, get it on.
The Somewhat Good:
The Not-So Good:
Layla/Summer – How do you alienate the one person left that was still defending their role on TV? Add in Hornswoggle.
In the words of Eva Marie‘s father… “NO! FLAT. NO!”
That’s it for this week. Now that AJ is back as seen in the promotion for this weeks WWE Main Event, I’m excited to see how our two feuds shape up more next week. So until next time, pray for Kharma and have a great life!