Saturday, April 13, 2024

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Raw Redux (December 5th, 2011): The Rightful Number One Contender Question Continues to Fester

As if Raw wasn’t already confusing enough with all these EPIC Diva matches to catch up with (who can forget the 48-second instant classic a few weeks ago?!), things got even more dramatic this week when Eve Torres finally returned to the ring, having last been seen eating a top rope Glam Slam, to team with Kelly Kelly in a tag team match. They were accompanied to the ring by Alicia Fox, clad in a sequined shirt sporting Beyonce’s face and accessorized by a pink tutu skirt (errrr yeah….), and they took on the Divas of Doom Sisters of Destruction Female Stable Name Goes Here team of Divas Champion Beth Phoenix and her BFF, Natalya.

The face tandem is out first, with Kelly leading the way. The Maxim covergirl and her friends are all smiles on this happy Monday night. They hit the ring and almost immediately Beth’s music begins to play. DoD makes their way out and shockingly enough, we’re taken to a video package that is brought to us via the Pin-Up Strong Movement. What’s not so shocking is the package is interrupted by another, yet slightly cryptic, video package. Ho hum.

What’s sad is that Beth and Nattie don’t even look upset that their video was messed up. Nattie is smirking at Kelly, ready to start the match. Since I’ve literally covered this match thousands of times, I feel like I can just close my eyes and write what’s going to happen. But nonetheless, here we go…

Nattie picks up Kelly and carries her to the corner, where she promptly tags in Beth. Reckon Nattie thinks the quicker she tags in Beth, the least likely she is to get pinned? Hmmm…

The champ comes in and goes after the former champ. (Side note: Every lady involved in this little feud has held the Divas Championship, with Eve being the only woman left on the roster who can call herself a two-time Divas Champ.) After a quick double team, Beth goes for an early pin. It doesn’t work in her favor. She stays on Kelly and keeps her grounded, while Alicia and Eve try to rally the crowd. Kelly seems to draw inspiration from somewhere and fights her way back up. The mood is promptly killed when Beth scoops Kelly up and lays her out with a back breaker, but at least the effort was there. Kelly withers in pain and Beth decides to ignore the “Be a STAR” campaign and kick the ropes at Alicia. Foxy backs up and when Beth turns her attention back to her opponent, a not-so-incapacitated Kelly rolls up Beth! She gets the three count and quickly rolls out of the ring.

DoD are furious. The faces are happy.

Same thing, but hey, Beth got pinned this week. That said, is Kelly now the rightful number one contender? We have less than two weeks until TLC and no Diva match announced. Hell, until last night we hadn’t really had any matches announced, but that’s another gripe for another day. It seems like Eve’s push is stalled for now, she didn’t even get in the match, but with Kelly pinning Beth, Alicia may very well get shoved to the side. Kelly, by rights, has a legit claim now, so what the ‘E does with it will be interesting to see. The match itself was fine. Not a lot went down, so there’s nothing to really pick apart or critique. It was what it was, and it was longer than 48-seconds.

As far as the rest of Raw went, well, it didn’t make me very happy. But it did have one sweet gem of a segment featuring our favorite cougar, Vickie Guerrero, and our favorite guy, Dolph Ziggler. (Jack Swagger was there too.)

skip ahead to 1:18

If this man doesn’t lose that United States Championship and move on to win the Royal Rumble, I will cry tears of heartbreak. Not really, because I don’t cry, but you get my point!

Enjoy the rest of WWE programming this week, my friends. NXT always delivers, and SmackDown has the on-going Chickbusters saga going on. I’ll see you all next week.

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