Sunday, June 16, 2024

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Raw Redux (September 3rd, 2012): AJ Needs a Date With Dr. Shelby While Eve Defeats the #1 Contender

I know, I know. It’s been awhile. In fact, it’s been since the 1000th episode of Raw. Real life really sucks and for all you younger readers, don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Anyway, this Redux is “live” so sit back, fasten your seatbelts, and get prepared for what is sure to be another exciting episode of the flagship show! I promise I will do my best not to not switch over to Breaking Bad, which I started right before Raw. Dear Lord Jesse Pinkman is all kinds of perfect.

Anywho, our first Diva sighting of the night comes in the form of the spunky, fun-loving AJ. I’m going to be completely honest and say I have no idea what is going on but she sure does look adorable in a power suit. She thankfully interrupts a pretty painful speaking segment between CM Punk (who got really freaking hot in my abscene) and Sheamus (who’s Irish accent suddenly makes my ears bleed because I’m totes into Norwegian accents now). She makes two main events for tonight. The first one has John Cena and Alberto Del Rio facing off against one another in a Contender versus Contender match. The second match is Champion versus Champion which obviously means Punk will face Sheamus. AJ is adorable. I love her.

Skip to 0:30.

And speaking of adorable, here comes the Queen, Vickie Guerrero in a super cute outfit. I like how she is using the final day of summer to wear an all white outfit. We all know it’s not appropriate to wear white after Labor Day.

That awkward moment when you realize said outfit is actually beige…

Anyway, Queen Vickie announces that she has some personal issues she with AJ that she will address later on tonight. In the meantime, she announces my future ex-husband, Prince Dawlf to the ring. He is going to take on Randy Orton. I’m just going to sit here and stare.

Well, I don’t praise to many Randy Orton matches but that one was brilliant. Of course, his opponent was undoubtly the best in the WWE right now, but the fact remains that match was awesome. I love Prince Dawlf and I love Queen Vickie. I can’t wait to see what Queen Vickie has to say later on tonight.

After some incredibly amazing “Anger Management” skits featuring two Diva Dirt favorites, Kane and Daniel Bryan, the first of AJ’s two main events are going to take place. Sheamus and Punk are going to have their match! Shockingly enough, the WWE Champ doesn’t come to the ring dressed to wrestle. He comes to the ring dressed as he was earlier and he declares that since it’s Labor Day, he is taking it off. Fair enough. AJ stops him backstage as he is about to get into a waiting care and tries to tell him he can’t leave. He tells her simply to check his contract, he has personal days. AJ is left in a mess and Matt Striker enters. Having forgotten he was the host of NXT, AJ demands to know who he is and why he is asking her questions. Striker looks shocked (and really, really tan) that she would ask such a thing. AJ finally just tells Striker that he needs to inform Sheamus that she will find him an opponent.

Then AJ stalks off.

She’s really good in this role. Of course, I would have loved to see her as Daniel Bryan’s wifey but this has ended up good for both of them. AJ as a business woman and DB doing the anger management classes… I’ll take it. Hope there’s more of this tonight.

Lets stayed tuned.

We get a match tonight! Awesome. Number one contender Kaitlyn is going to take on Eve Torres. Layla joins Michael Cole and The Miz on commentary.

You know, this match was rough in areas, but I kind of liked it. I think Layla and Miz flipping out on each other on commentary kind of took away from the in-ring action, but no matter. It was nice to be reminded that Layla has a personality, and honestly I think Layla came off as a tweener more than a face. I love Eve being so phony, it’s pretty brilliant. And bless Kaitlyn, she has come a long way. I’ve loved that girl since NXT and I can’t wait to see her in an actual pay-per-view match at Night of Champions.

Backstage, Jack Swagger is walking to the door.

AJ runs up behind him and wants to know what’s going on. Swagger simply states that he has had enough of all of this. He’s leaving, basically. AJ doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand how Brock, Jericho, and Punk can leave. Now she doesn’t know why Swagger is leaving. Swagger doesn’t have much to say. He walks off leaving AJ alone. She looks disturbed.

You just have to feel like the mental breakdown is coming. It’s probably going to be beautiful.

Skip to 0:45.

AJ’s mood probably isn’t going to get any better because there’s Matt Striker knocking on her door. She’s shed her business jacket and she does not look happy. She orders Matt Striker to inform John Cena and Alberto Del Rio that their match is now a Falls Count Anywhere match. She also looks like she getting even more mental as the night progresses.

Oh my God… DD favorites Kane and DB have to hug it out now. I can’t.

The Divas keep on coming as Aksana accompanies her main squeeze, United States Champion, Antonio Cesaro, out to the ring for his match against Santino Marella. They have a little segment where she gets him to say “success” in several different languages.

Skip to 0:25.

I find these two really cute, to be honest. And I really love Aksana’s stop. Would totally pair of with ripped skinny jeans and a black tank top because lets be fair, I don’t have the same type of figure that Aksana does!

As promised, Vickie makes her way to the ring following the conclusion of the Zack Ryder/Heath Slater match.

No words.

Vickie has always been amazing at what she does. AJ has always been amazing at what she does. When you put them together they simply make magic. AJ is a broken woman now and Vickie was the perfect person to bring her to that point. I LOVED this segment more than any other part of Raw, and I think AJ is the one who needs to see Dr. Shelby right now. I’m not sure if this is going to lead to a full-fledge feud between the two but if AJ stays general manager, I fully expect her to get back at Vickie by using Prince Dawlf.  Not sure how this is going to go but I’m really looking forward to it.

If this is the end of the “Summer of AJ” I’m going to be pretty disappointed. She has come into her own as the top Diva on the roster. I’ve said it once, I’ve said a million times. AJ is everything and no one else could have done this role justice. Vickie, Eve, Kaitlyn, Layla, and Aksana were all great tonight. It seems like these girls have roles, storylines, and a purpose. Layla bringing her personality back was so great to see. Kaitlyn has always had a character that has made her stand out from the pack. Then there’s Eve. I love her as a heel. It makes me sad to think of all the time the WWE wasted trying to get her over as a face.

I’d also like to say congratulations to Eve for winning Stars Earn Stripes!

Raw was pretty good tonight. I enjoyed all the Diva bits. It was fresh. It was different. It was much needed. Good, solid show. Happy I got a chance to tune in for a change. I don’t know when I’ll get a chance to watch Raw again, but I hope you guys enjoyed having me back where I belong.

Until next time… whenever that might be…

Cryssi out!

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