Hello readers and welcome to a brand new era here in Diva Dirt land. As of this week, yours truly is now the official SmackDown Redux writer. Exciting, right? As someone who never gets a chance to watch SmackDown thanks to the fact it’s not available as of yet in Podunk, Alabama, and because I never have the extra time, I’m really looking forward to covering the blue brand. I’m just going to jump right into things tonight so without further a do, lets get things going!
The Diva portions of SmackDown were raped tonight with segments, not that I’m complaining. First up, are Laycool who are backstage with Kaval.
Michelle McCool and Layla are backstage talking with Kaval sitting behind them. Michelle brings up the fact that she thinks it’s hilarious Teddy Long feels that Layla is the only one who is able to face Melina at Night of Champions. Layla agrees and the girls practically sing the phrase, “Teddy Long… always wrong!” Layla beams and says that Teddy has no idea about that tiny little clause in their contract. Michelle smiles in agreement and says that it’s thanks to Vickie. Layla says that they’re going to keep Lady Wa- wa guessing. Kaval is looking at them every now and then, by the way. It’s one of those moments where he is trying to be a good boyfriend and listen, but really, all he cares about is his upcoming match.
Anyway, Michelle tells Layla to picture the expression on Melina’s face when she steps inside the ring. Layla basically tells Michelle to stop the presses because she’s the one who is facing Melina at Night of Champions. Michelle disagrees and this leads to an argument between the two BFFs. Kaval is shaking his head in the background and finally he interrupts the little fight before it can turn personal. He politely asks both ladies to cool it because he has his first match tonight on SmackDown and he needs to concentrate. He tells them that he can’t even hear himself think because all he hears is whining. He makes some hilarious high-pitched whining noises to emphasis this point. Laycool are not amused.
REWIND! REAL TALK!
Michelle and Layla lay the law down to Kaval. They tell him that they made him and that people only voted for him because they wanted to see more Laycool. Michelle says that the people really didn’t want to see Kaval’s emotionless face. Then she totally mocks his facial expressions. Amazing. Layla jumps in and says that the people certainly didn’t want to hear Kaval’s voice. And yes, Layla starts to imitate Kaval’s voice. This is perfection. Kaval stops them both and says that they will talk about this later. He is going to get ready for his match. Kaval walks off and Michelle remarks that he’ll be lucky if they decide to talk to him at all. Layla agrees and adds that Kaval has a big head now. Michelle accuses Layla of giving him that big head because she made out with him. Layla whatevers her bestie and mumbles that she’s facing Melina. Michelle continues to disagree. And the segment fades out.
Laycool appear later on that night after Kaval’s match with Drew McIntyre is finished. He loses and Laycool are quick to come out and aid their man. They get him out of the ring, while acting grossed out because he’s so sweaty, and help him to the back.
Observations: This was amazing. Of course being the biased mark (OHMYGOD) that I am, I’m automatically going to love this segment because it has my precious Lay-Kav-Ool in it. Har har. It really was well done. Laycool’s immaturity is pretty much one of the best things they have going for them. Their characters are so on point. They’re the girls we all love to hate and I love their little fight over who is going to get to face Melina. I more than expect both of them to end up facing her in a handicap or triple threat match, but that’s another thought for another day.
Kaval was so much here as well. His personality just shines when he is onscreen with Laycool. The chemistry is epic and I really feel like these three people enjoy working together. The fact that Kaval attempted to shut them up and put them in their place was just adorable. Nine times out of then he doesn’t stand a chance against the two girls, but they let him have his moment tonight. Lay-Kav-Ool is one of the best pairings the WWE has ever come up with and even if this segment is a one off thing (God, I hope not!) I’m so glad I got to see it tonight on SmackDown.
skip ahead to 1:23
Vickie is screaming “Excuse Me!” into the microphone and of course, she is drawing mega heat like usual. Kaitlyn is wearing a nice dress that actually fits and when the crowd doesn’t calm down for Vickie, she tells Kaitlyn to introduce her. Kaitlyn takes the mic and is in the middle of introducing Vickie as her NXT pro when the queen herself interrupts. She’s not at all happy with Kaitlyn’s attempt at an introduction. In fact, she calls it mediocre and average. She tells Kaitlyn that if she is going to use “Vickie Guerrero” in a sentence she has to be nothing short of extraordinary. Vickie says she is going to show her how it’s done. Vickie demands that the crowd stand up and welcome a man that is more than extraordinary. He is Vickie’s boyfriend and he is the Intercontinental Champion.
He is… DOLPH ZIGGLER!
Dolph’s music hits and Vickie and Kaitlyn part ways. Kaitlyn continues to remain unsure and timid, just trying to do the right thing.
Observations: I really like the fact that Kaitlyn was placed on SmackDown this week with Vickie. Being the greenest rookie, Kaitlyn needs the most exposure to get used to the environment she was thrown into. She had a chance to work on her character a little more tonight and I think it went over really well. She looked great and she looked natural. She handled herself at ringside very well during the match and even better afterward. When Vickie was reading the riot act to the referee for missing the tag Dolph made to Chavo, Kaitlyn was arguing too. It’s nice to see someone with like six weeks of training look so refreshed and so at home. I like Kaitlyn a lot!
The third and final Diva segment of the night involves SmackDown’s Barbie Doll, Kelly Kelly.
Grisham and Striker send it to Josh Matthews in the back, but when the camera rolls, Matthews is no where to be seen. Instead we get a television screen full of the Big Show. He announces himself as Josh Matthews and precedes to interview himself. The promo is of no importance to the SmackDown Redux until the Big Show (as himself) starts talking about how he has systematically dismembered SES. He says that he has taken out Joey Mercury. He says that he has taken out Luke Gallows. And then he says that he even took out that other bald headed dude that SES had.
Now is that a shot at Serena or is it just me?
Big Show continues until Kelly Kelly walks into the picture. She’s the picture of beauty and blondeness (two things I love more than anything) and she calls Big Show a nerd. He tries to defend himself but Kelly isn’t having it. She finally says it was okay, but he’s still a nerd. Then she tells Big Show to hush because someone is coming. The real Josh Matthews walks up, greets the two SmackDown stars, and asks them if they’ve seen his microphone. Both Kelly and Show play dumb. When Josh turns around, Kelly chastises the big man and gets him to give Josh his microphone back. He had been hiding it under his armpit and everyone looks grossed out by the piece of equipment now. Josh reluctantly takes it back and walks off. Big Show calls Kelly a tattle-tell and she just says it’s sick he was hiding that thing under his armpit. Show harasses Kelly and the segment comes to a close.
Observations: Jesus. As terrible as that was… wait. Let me start over. As pointless as that was, I kind of enjoyed it. Before I draw some mega-heat, let me explain why! Very rarely do we get to see Kelly do anything other than look pretty and smile. Tonight she was allowed to show some personality and interact with one of the company’s top faces and she held her own pretty well. The Kelly/Show friendship, as random as it is, is fun. And hey, I’m all about fun. We spend to much time bitching these days about WWE programming! Kelly having a backstage segment didn’t hurt anyone or take time away from any matches. She got to have fun, act a little bit, and it was a real treat. Another nice Diva segment.
Tonight’s show brought us something we rarely see in WWE land; Diva segments! We spend so much time complaining about the lack of airtime the Divas get and I think we were compensated pretty well tonight. Every girl that was involved in something tonight got a chance to shine and show her character. Laycool were flawless which is something we’ve come to expect. Vickie is basically untouchable when it comes to performing and like usual, she shined tonight. Kaitlin continued to impress in little ways and showed that she has the all important intangibles you need when it comes to performing. And last but not least, Kelly showed a side of herself that we very rarely get to see. She’s not a robot, ladies and gentlemen!
I couldn’t be more pleased with SmackDown. Segments are the quickest way to get over and I think everyone who got the opportunity to be involved with one tonight made the most of it. The chemistry was there on all accounts and I’m not at all upset that there wasn’t a match. I don’t need wrestling matches, especially short and sloppy ones, to be happy. SmackDown definitely gets two thumbs up!