Saturday, May 18, 2024

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Total Divas Redux: Episode Six, ‘Diva Las Vegas’

Just when you thought you’d never have to hear the name Sebastian again, last night’s episode of Total Divas just had to go there. JoJo was at it again, claiming that Sebastian was THE love of her life (because you just have so much experience at the age of 19), and rebounding by falling for MUCH older South African WWE superstar, Justin Gabriel. Sigh. When I was 19 years old, I definitely wasn’t searching for the love of my life. I was partying in a frat house on the weekends, fooling around with a guy who called himself Steve-O, and drinking copious amounts of vodka because beer was just sooooooooooooo nasty back then. Those were the days…

This week’s episode centered around a rebound romance for JoJo, a naughty bachelorette party in Las Vegas, and something called “Brie Mode” that no one was really prepared for. I’m not alone when I say that the entire idea of JoJo and Justin Gabriel is insanely creepy. She looks way younger than her age, and her flirtation with Justin totally gave me Dateline, To Catch a Predator vibes. Eva Marie said it best when she said that JoJo “was single but not ready to mingle” and that was definitely the case when the entire group got to Las Vegas. JoJo wasn’t able to really enjoy Vegas thanks to her age, so Eva Marie stayed with her the entire time because she doesn’t drink due to personal reasons she didn’t get into. They went for a walk and found Justin leaving the hotel with a random woman that he likely picked up right then and there. JoJo’s reaction wasn’t shocking. She was pissed and upset, and then started to cry to Eva later on when they were back in their room.

This annoyed me to no end because the two of them weren’t even dating. I have literally no patience when it comes to stuff like this anyway, and everything with JoJo literally had me rolling my eyes. The night after she watched Justin leaving with another woman, they attended another dinner for Nattie and Tyson (TJ) and Justin took the seat beside JoJo. Eventually they went off alone so they could talk, and Justin basically put an end to whatever it was that was going on between them. While he admitted he was insanely attracted to her beauty and her talent (JoJo has a gorgeous singing voice for those who might not have heard her sing the National Anthem for the WWE at SummerSlam), the age gap wasn’t going to work for him. He was pretty classy about the situation and who really knows where they stand with one another at the moment. As gorgeous as Justin is, I’m so glad that nothing else happened between them because it was just way to weird.

It also makes me question whether or not my ex-friend with benefits, who is in his forties, looked that creepy standing next to me. It wasn’t like he was a strapping, tan wrestler. He had a lot of tattoos and grayish hair, and we had a lengthy three and a half year affair. Surely that didn’t come off as weird and rapey as Justin and JoJo… or did it?!

Leave it to Total Divas to make me freak out about my life choices!

Natalya all but admitted that she was scared to take that final step with Tyson after pushing so hard to get a wedding date set. We all watched last week as Nattie shared her birthday with her old friend, Jaret. And that damn Jaret kept creeping up in the conversation this week. Natalya confided in Brie and Nikki Bella separately about what she was experiencing, and all during Vegas Nattie continued to text Jaret. She was called out by Nikki for leading him, and Brie gave her a drunken heart to heart about the entire situation. Obviously, Natalya ended up seeing the light, but who can blame her for testing the waters a bit, so to speak. Trust me, I’m not condoning her actions but when she revealed that Tyson is her first and only, it makes a little more sense as to why she was so openly flirting with someone else.

Last night, I came to the conclusion that Cameron (Ariane) definitely needed someone else in her life. Vincent was the most annoying part of the entire episode and that’s saying a lot since we had to suffer through JoJo/Justin. Cameron wasn’t keen on Vincent going to Vegas since it was people from work going. And Vincent didn’t really take to kindly to her request. She pointed out that Eva Marie’s boyfriend wasn’t going, but that wasn’t good enough for Vincent. While Cameron and Naomi (Trinity) were chatting in Cameron’s room, Vincent showed up after giving his lady love a heads up that he was hopping on a plane. Vincent had a little to much fun in Vegas, drinking way to much, and acting out. Cameron wasn’t thrilled with his behavior to say the least. I was surprised she handled having the drink spilled on her as well as she did, and I have to say, that every week she continues to surprise me. Cameron loves to have fun, and definitely has her own unique personality, but she’s shockingly professional when it comes to keeping her personal life separate from her professional one. I bet Vincent had one hell of a hangover when he work up that next morning, but sadly we weren’t around to see it.

We did get to witness Brie’s epic hangover and after being teased the entire episode about whether or not Brie would go into Brie Mode, we got to witness the more laid back of the twins cut loose. Who knew that she was actually the party girl of the Bellas?! Brie Mode was in full effect when the girls left the guys back at the hotel and went out alone. After a trip to the Chippendales (which saw Nattie get to be a part of the show!), the girls headed to a club and Brie was more than happy to indulge in her favorite past time. Apparently, her man Daniel (Bryan), isn’t the biggest fan of Brie Mode, but with him not around…

Brie drank. She danced. She got on top of a stool and had to have her lady bits blurred. She laughed as Nikki took a very ungraceful fall off the couch. She gave Nattie a much needed heart to heart. And she stumbled back to her hotel room and was unable to open the door. In her heart, Brie was being a total boss at playing off her drunkeness. Despite the fact she had to get Daniel out of bed to open the door for her, and despite the fact she slapped fuzzy red handcuffs on him once she finally fell into bed, she figured he didn’t even realize what was going on. He gave her a reality check the next morning, but instead of getting mad, he merciless teased her. Could they seriously be anymore cute? It’s kind of disgusting really.

I loved this episode of Total Divas far more than any other. Watching Nattie, and all her class, biting the naughty bits of a cake to pose for a picture was something I never thought I would be sitting here writing about. Brie finding Nikki’s vibrator next to her in bed was hilarious. I died when the thing ended up getting tossed on the floor. Naomi and Jimmy (Jon) continue to give me life each and every week. I can’t even believe he told her that he liked his barbecue burnt. It was also nice to see WWE superstar Chris Jericho at the beginning of the show. In my head, he was like Eva and JoJo’s gay BFF… and I loved every single second of it. This show is the best thing ever, and I love it so much! Next week promises to be just as entertaining. Eva Marie gets the opportunity to shoot for a major magazine, and JoJo seems a little bitter. DRAMA!!!! Bring on next week!!!

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