Tuesday, April 23, 2024

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Total Divas Redux: “Love Triangle”

This past Friday, I celebrated my six-year anniversary as part of the Diva Dirt staff. It was exactly six years ago that day that my first ever written recap was published. My exact words on my Facebook post were as followed: “Now that it’s official, I’m happy to say that I’m joining the Diva Dirt team as their new TNA correspondent (= I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to be joining the side and I hope you all read my weekly Impact Write-Up!”

I must have been a legit glutton for punishment back then. Thankfully, I was eventually able to write about WWE, and more importantly, I got an opportunity to do something that I’m extremely passionate about; recapping a reality show obviously.

This past Tuesday, season five of Total Divas kicked off and all of us finally got much needed resolution from last season’s cliffhanger finale. All of us held our collective breath as DD fave, Dawlf Ziggler, professed his love to ex-girlfriend and resident Queen, Nikki Bella, and offered her everything she’s ever wanted on a tan, sculpted-abbed, bleach blond platter. Oh yes. He totally dropped the marriage and baby bomb on her, and attempted to seal it with a kiss.

It was literally no surprise when Nikki turned it down. We all know that she is the future Mrs. John Cena regardless if Cena knows it or not. We’ve invested four seasons into “Nena” and we sure as hell aren’t going to give up now. I wasn’t even pressed when he told Nikki he wouldn’t stop her from exploring something with Dawlf if she felt it was there. This man knows he has a good woman and that she isn’t going to leave him for anyone or anything. It doesn’t matter how pissed off Nikki got at John’s lack of a reaction to finding out that Dawlf tried to kiss her, she is not going anywhere.

Relationship drama took center stage with Paige as well this episode. And before I get into that, can I just say that I NEED to go to Japan and go to a cat café!?!?!!? I don’t give a crap that the entire thing smelled like cat piss. I would go there every day and be the happiest person ever. Ultimately, I am a cat lady and that just seems like heaven to me.

But anyway, back to our regularly scheduled recap. Paige was faced with a dilemma as well as we saw last season. She accepted a proposal she didn’t really want out of fear she was going to lose her relationship. Well as our premiere went on, the pressure mounted on the young Brit to finally come clean with her rocker boyfriend. Things finally hit their peak when Mama Saraya Knight called Paige and asked her about her engagement and why she had to find out from the television.

Kevin began to firing off questions about their wedding, things Paige wasn’t prepared to talk about, and he said they had to have answers to these questions because his parents were going to ask. Paige finally crumbled and blurted out that she didn’t even want to be a bride, or engaged, and we were left with a completely awkward moment between the two. She quickly explained why she reacted the way that she did, and Kevin seemed to accept her explanation. Luckily, those two look they’re going to be okay.

As we saw last season, both Brie and Nattie have spouses who are at home and dealing with very difficult injuries. Daniel Bryan, as well know, has been laid up on the shelf for awhile. He finds himself waiting for clearance to get back in the ring from doctors and from the WWE.

Brie obviously wants him to walk away from the sport, which is fine. As his wife, she’s entitled to her opinion and feelings. Daniel doesn’t agree with her at all and despite Brie pushing other activities on him, he stands his ground and lets her know that he plans to go back to wrestling.

Tyson Kidd’s injury is a little fresher and unfortunately, we all got to watch it happen last season. He begins season five in a neck brace and Nattie informs her family that TJ is going to have to undergo a very risky surgery to try and fix the damage. The worst part of the injury is the fact TJ is actually suffering from a bruised spinal cord, and the surgery he has to get is the same one that the late Christopher Reeves had to undergo.

Things definitely don’t look good for TJ, but I know all of us are wishing him a speedy recovery! He will overcome this, no doubt! He has before.

That about wraps things up for the season five premiere. Things look promising. We get the new girl, a pregnancy, John actually telling Nikki he is willing to talk about marriage…

I’m going to make a bold prediction. We will get a Nena proposal before this season is out and it wouldn’t surprise me if Rosa Mendes isn’t the only mommy-to-be before all is said and done. Until next time…

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