Tuesday, December 5, 2023

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending January 30th, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Katie Lea‘s Night Owl
Grade: Bland. At this point, I think complaining about all of Katie Lea’s photoshoots being the same is pointless, because it’s become obvious that they’re going to always stick to the same theme: creepy makeup, dark clothing, and strange, hand-focused poses. In order to prevent having the same complaint every time, I’ll just judge them by the rubric she’s developed for herself. For one, I love the dark eye makeup she’s got, because from far away it looks super creepy and is more effective than the swirly stuff she’s painted on before. The clothing is a bit restrained compared to what we’ve seen in the past, but the blue color is cool and pops against all the black, bringing out the bit of blue makeup around the eyes. The pants look like lace tights layered over a darker pair of tights, which kind of is a cool look and livens up the dark ensemble. As many of the reader have mentioned before, the blonde extensions look icky and are just begging to be plucked out. It kind of looks like she’s trying to do that in a few of her poses which, by the way, aren’t as interesting as they could be. It’s just more of the same in that department, and I feel like she’s got it in her to really go off the wall with them, but is just restraining herself. A bit of a break from the norm would do a lot for her, but then again, I’ve said that plenty of time before..
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Natalya‘s Dressed for Success
Grade: Sweet. There’s nothing simpler than a little black dress, and Natalya makes it look fantastic, taking it beyond “simple” with her killer figure and an interesting pyramid studded belt. Those belts usually have a more “punk” feel to them, but here it actually looks kind of chic. The black heels finish off a completely black color scheme, which I admire Natalya for sticking to. Some might try to force in some color or manufacture some excitement, but Natalya kept it relatively subdued and it completely works for her. The fact that the dress has a high neck and long sleeves doesn’t even begin to make her look dowdy–it’s form-fitting and, as I mentioned before, her rocking body gives the dress its edge. The shoot’s scenery–a locker room–doesn’t exactly go with the look, but it’s pretty interesting. Natalya poses in the lockers, making the best of a random setting and diversifying her poses. She just looks stunning, even despite the feeling I’m getting that there’s a stinky gym bag just outside the shot.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

Nikki Bella‘s Buckle Up
Grade: Sour. Nikki’s giving me serious Mario vibes here–not that she looks like a plumber, but her red cap certainly recalls a certain video game superstar. The rest of her look just doesn’t look right to me, from the S&M-ish buckled top to the black tights and thigh-high boots that magically take inches off her legs (in height, that is) and make her look all kinds of stumpy. It’s unflattering, to say the least, and is actually pretty dull. All black ensembles can certainly work, and can often look sexy, but this doesn’t–the different textures clash with each other and make it look like a jumbled mess rather than a sleek, cohesive look. The poses don’t really help, either, as she barely changes her expression throughout the whole shoot. The chair poses aren’t that interesting, either, as she’s more or less just sitting there. Altogether, it’s just unexciting and unflattering.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Rosa Mendes‘s Ultraviolet
Grade: Bland. Rosa’s botanical-themed outfits haven’t really impressed me thus far, and this one is no different; the shiny purple and netting just look strange, and the heels don’t really go with what looks like wrestling gear, especially with the athletic pants. The iron-on violets just look cheap, especially the one on her arm. If she’s going for the Poison Ivy approach–flowers and ivy all over her–there’s a much coolor way to do it without them looking like iron-on patches from a craft store. The saving grace of the shoot is her poses; they’re sexy and interesting and are more “Poison Ivy”-ish than the flower outfit itself. They show that she knows what she’s doing in a photoshoot, but is being dragged down by the clothing. Maybe she should summon the powers of her plant friends and make an outfit that’s more than just garden variety. *rimshot*
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Savannah‘s Shimmer
Grade: Bland. I’ve never been one for tons and tons of sequins, and Savannah’s practically OD’ed on them in this shoot. From the sparkly pink dress to the silver shoes, she’s coated in the stuff. I feel if it were one or the other it’d look less overwhelming. The poses are alright, with her perched on a chair, but some look like she’s in the photoshoot to sell the chair. It’s kind of a “Price is Right”-type thing going on. Her poses almost look too serious for the look, too–maybe if it were more subdued, it’d go together better. As is, she’s selling us a chair with a serious attitude while wearing flashy clubwear. It’s just a big clash in theory and make for a less than enticing photoshoot. I’m not sure if Bob Barker would go for that. But hey, maybe Drew Carey would..
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Be sure to grade each photoshoot, vote for your favorite below, and tell us what you think in the comments!

NOTE ON TNA PHOTOSHOOTS – I tend to only cover photoshoots with a decent amount of photos. So if TNA has a new shoot with Tara, but there’s only 3 photos, I’m going to skip it. No hard feelings. But if you see any new, sizable TNA shoots feel free to drop us a tweet and let us know–it’s tough to keep track of their new stuff!

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