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WrestleMania Fantasy Face-Off: Kelly/Candice vs Beth/Michelle

(PHOTOS: World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.)

While WrestleMania’s 25 Diva battle royal might be a dream come true for some Diva fans, its a train wreck waiting to happen for most. What happened to the good ol’, one-on-one matchups. Well for the next few weeks leading up to WrestleMania, Diva Dirt will be  bringing you the  Wrestlemania dream matches that we wish would happen or might even happen in the future. Welcome to WrestleMania Fantasy Face-Off!

Match 4: Kelly Kelly and Candice vs Beth Phoenix and Michelle McCool in a BunnyMania Lumberjill Match

The Setup:

It’s January and we all know what that means in WWE. Playboy time! Michael Cole and The King announce that Kelly Kelly will be making an announcement tonight. Kelly comes to the ring, mic in tow. She tells the crowd that she’s proud to be the next WWE Diva to pose for Playboy. Predictably the crowd erupts into cat-calls. Before Kelly can say anything more she’s interrupted by Beth Phoenix. Phoenix says she’s sick and tired of Divas like Kelly giving the WWE a bad name by taking their clothes off.

Kelly gets upset and gets in The Glamazon’s face. Beth sneers and pushes Kelly to the mat. Hard. Kelly tries to get up and attack Beth but is no match for the powerful Phoenix. Just as Phoenix starts beating the tar out of K2, Candice Michelle‘s music hits. Candice hits the ring and Beth gets out of dodge. However, while the raven-haired Playboy Playmate is checking on her friend, the Glamazon re-enters the ring and levels Candice with the Glam Slam.

Two weeks later, Candice and Kelly have a tag team match against Beth and a surprise partner. The faces make their way to the the ring, and wait for their challengers. Beth’s music hit and she comes out with a mic. She says she found a partner who shares her ideals and who is willing to defend the integrity of women’s wrestling. She ends her tirade by welcoming Raw’s newest Diva, Michelle McCool.

Kelly picks up the surprise win by pinning McCool. During the post-match celebration Beth and Michelle go on the attack, leaving the Bunnies laid out in the ring. The heels leave the ring satisfied.

For the next few weeks, Kelly is terrorized by Beth and Michelle backstage and in the ring, culminating with Phoenix and McCool interrupting Kelly’s cover unveiling. The heels attack Kelly, prompting Mickie James, The Bellas, Alicia Fox, Eve, Maria and Candice to come to her aid. The Divas clear the ring and Beth and Michelle start to retreat. Then the heel Divas come down the ramp. Katie Lea,  Jillian, Layla, Natalya and Maryse run to the ring and a brawl breaks out.  As the Divas go at it, Vince’s music hits. He announces that Kelly and Candice will take on Beth and Michelle in a BunnyMania LumberJill Match. However, there are a few conditons. If Beth and Michelle win, Kelly win be the last WWE Diva to pose for Playboy, but if Kelly and Candice win Beth and Michelle have to pose next month. Beth and Michelle look positively mortified, but they accept.

The Outcome:

All the Lumberjills come to the ring, inexplicably dressed in cocktail dresses and really high heels. Kelly’s music hits and she and Candice come from behind the curtain. They stop at the end of the ramp and point back to the entrance. Former Playboy Playmates Torrie Wilson, Sable and Chyna, come out to ringside to support the faces. The crowd goes nuts. Next out, Beth and McCool. The crowd gives them major heat when Beth spits at Chyna. Torrie and Sable have to hold Chyna back.

The match start off with Kelly and Michelle. The heels make frequent tags, keeping Kelly grounded. Kelly and Michelle knock heads and both start crawling to their respective corners  for a tag. They reach their partners and Candice comes in fighting, taking Phoenix of her feet with a few clotheslines and a dropkick. Candice goes for the pin, kickout at two. Candice goes for Beth, who is retreating towards the ropes. Beth uses leverage to throw Candice out of the ring. The heels jump on her immediately and the face Divas come to the rescue. A fight breaks out on the outside(of course). Bad weaves and hooker heels go a’flying. Finally, Candice and Beth make it back in the ring. Candice hits the ropes but is tripped up by Jillian. Candice goes after her and Beth uses the distraction to execute her Glam Slam. 1.2.3. Playboy is abolished from the WWE.

After the match, Beth and Michelle get in the former Playmates faces. Chyna levels Beth with a Clothesline followed by a bodyslam on theand Michelle retreats, saving her own skin. Kelly and Candice celebrate in the ring with Chyna, Torrie, Sable and the other face Divas despite thier loss. The heels go to the back, supporting a very sore Beth Phoenix.

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