Monday, July 4, 2022

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WWE Superstars Redux (October 27th, 2011): Four Bum-Shakers and a Bum Left Shoulder

Both Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly have recently fallen short of besting Beth Phoenix, but perhaps they’ll find more luck together when they team up against Brie and Nikki Bella:


Skip to 33:00.

Eve and Nikki start things off, but Nikki chickens out at the last second, running and hiding with Brie. Nikki then decides to just start mocking Eve, sticking her butt out and telling Eve to kiss it. Eve charges and baseball slides under Nikki, taking out Brie on the apron. She then turns around and rolls up Nikki for a pin. Nikki kicks out quickly and finds herself on the receiving end of a few kicks and a clothesline. Eve situates herself beside Nikki, doing her little booty pop that gets quite a cheer (if only that could reaction could comes from witnessing wrestling moves too!) before hitting her standing moonsault, which announcer Scott Stanford dubs a “Bootysault”, which sounds too much like “Bootysalt”, which sounds like a spice I would never, ever want to use. Also, that name.. But I think that goes without saying.

Eve goes for the pin again, and Nikki kicks out. When both are on their feet, Eve maintains control, Irish-whipping Nikki to the ropes. Nikki holds on to the ropes, though, and launches Eve over the ropes and onto the apron. She grabs a fistful of Eve’s hair and chokes her over the top rope, distracting the ref when he admonishes her and allowing Brie to get a lick in. But Eve expects the attack, and the two are at a standstill until Nikki sweeps Eve’s legs out from under her. Nikki hotshots Eve’s left arm with the middle rope, then uses the bottom rope to hyperextend her left shoulder, all while Brie provides her own brand of commentary, which consists of a lot of cat-calls and “L”s on her forehead.

Nikki drops her weight on Eve’s shoulder once more before tagging in Brie, who takes over where her twin left off, performing the same move on the shoulder. She tries to do it once more, but takes a crucial few seconds to shake her butt in Eve’s face, which provides Eve with a nice target on which to push her into the turnbuckle. Eve takes the moment to crawl to her corner, but Brie stops her mid-way, sucker-punching Kelly for emphasis. She drags Eve back to the Bella corner and tags in Nikki. Both take one of Eve’s arms, wrench them, and slam her head-first to the mat. Nikki goes for the pin, but Eve kicks out.

Nikki hoists Eve up and drops her unceremoniously to the mat. She rolls Eve onto her stomach, pulling her left arm back to hyperextend the left shoulder once more. Eve soon fights her way free, running the ropes and hitting a sunset flip. Nikki stays on her feet, though, and instead drops a knee on Eve’s shoulder. She pins Eve, who kicks out before the 2-count. Nikki drags her by her prone shoulder and tags in Brie. Brie climbs to to the second ropes and hits a double-axe handle on the shoulder in question. She deals out more punishment on the shoulder while Kelly looks on, itching for the hot tag. Eve tries to stand and get out of the arm wrenching, but a blow to the back sends her back to the mat. She once more twists Eve’s arm backwards. This time, Eve manages to get all the way to her feet and lifts Brie onto her shoulders, dropping her back-first onto the mat. She then finally makes it to her corner and tags in Kelly.

Kelly enters the ring via the top rope, leaping off of it and hitting Brie with a flying Lou Thesz press, nailing a few punches to Brie’s head before leaping up and knocking Nikki off the ring apron. She then rushes back to Brie and.. slaps her butt? It provokes her well enough, and Kelly ducks a blow, bouncing off the ropes, hitting her tilt-a-whirl headscissors and sending Brie flying. She hits Brie with a bulldog and sets her up for Diva Dirt’s Favorite Move of All Time™, the stinkface. The best part of the move was the reference to Rikishi, the only competitor whose stinkface was actually an effective offensive maneuver. Nikki rushes over to attack Kelly via the apron and hot-shots her over the top rope. Eve busts into the ring and takes out Nikki with a baseball slide. In the ring, Brie goes for an attack but Kelly blocks it, immediately setting her up for the K2. Kelly hits it, getting the 3-count and the win for her team.

Thoughts: This match was, in my opinion, a showcase for the Bella Twins. They played the perfect catty heels, constantly taunting Eve as they punished her left shoulder. Sure, it’s a common heel game plan to focus on a particular body part, but it really served to tell a story in the match: that Brie and Nikki are quite good at isolating their opponent and keeping on a relentless attack. Eve sold all of the punishment well, but as that was her main function–to stay isolated and sell her shoulder–she didn’t particularly stand out. Kelly, getting the hot tag and hitting all her signature moves, pulled off the typical babyface barrage of offense, which was effective in getting the fans into the match but wasn’t anything too exciting, especially since we’ve seen it all before and probably in the same order. And, though it probably goes without saying, I’d sell my kingdom for a replacement for the stinkface. Might I suggest a nice handspring elbow? Anywho, like I said, the Bellas were the real stand out, but the match served its purpose for the babyfaces: getting them a win following their recent defeats. In that way, the result was rather predictable, but it was nice to see Brie and Nikki perfect their heel act in the process.

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