Thursday, September 23, 2021

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NXT Watch (April 11th, 2012): Whatchoo Gonna Do When Backstage Shenanigans Run Wild on You?!

Hola everybody, and welcome to your weekly recap of all things NXT! There may not be a Divas match this week, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t blessed with a variety of backstage segments involving Maxine, Kaitlyn, and Tamina Snuka. Yes, I know what you’re thinking: we’re all sad that Alicia Fox and her hissing self wasn’t mentioned, but since she and Natalya represented on SmackDown, it seems the golden themed show has stuck to its original three of the five Divas that have been used as of late. Without any further ado, let’s get started!

First up, before you check out any of the segments, enlighten yourselves to this opening contest which featured Percy Watson taking on Johnny Curtis. If you’re wondering why I’m including this on DIVA Dirt (other than the fact that Johnny Curtis is amazing), well it’s because the Queen of Mean, Maxine, accompanies the Dirty one to the ring and leaves with William Regal!

The color blue has never looked so good!

Backstage we go to see Tyler Reks (with a gallon of milk) and Curt Hawkins chatting one another up when out of nowhere walks Maxine! Hawkins dubs her “Scary Sherri” and beckons to know if she did the thing with Regal and Striker yet. Maxine seems aggravated by the two, but lets them know that she spoke with Regal and he will find them very shortly. Maxine then demands to be given Striker, but they will NOT comply with her until they make sure she didn’t double cross them. After ensuring that Striker is okay, the two head off and Maxine hatches a brilliant idea upon seeing Derrick and Kaitlyn walking in!

She quickly runs over to a nearby water fountain and blasts her face with a few droplets as if to appear that she is crying. I immediately get vibes of this one amazing segment she had in early FCW which involving her sobbing to Abraham Washington as she proceeded to eat chocolates… But nonetheless she proceeds to cry into Derrick’s neck! Kaitlyn tries to break them up and inform Maxine to get Dirty Curty to help her instead of them.

She imitates Maxine’s crying self, as the Queen of Mean continues to cry to Derrick and try to get his help. Derrick reluctantly agrees in an attempt to increase the shenanigans that take place on this beautiful show, and this segment comes to a close with the new couple heading off as Maxine concocts a devious look for the camera. What on Earth could she be up to now?!

Back from a break we come to the sight of Island Goddess, Tamina Snuka, leaving the B-South dressing room! I can’t help but notice this security guard(?) sitting down on a stool in front of the door and wonder how tight the protection must be for NXT, although it seems as if my question is soon answered when Miss Snuka is ambushed by Titus O’Neil aka Bill Cosby. She snaps at him to not even touch her after what he did to Darren Young last week!

Titus attempts to give her a peace offering to prove that he’s not a bad person in the form of a lovely coconut tree! Our Pacific beauty accepts the offering and kisses Titus Cosby on the cheek as a thank you, before heading off with her plant to the sight of Titus dancing in the background. She then comes across Darren Young who wonders where she got said tree from, and when she informs him it was Titus, he does NOT seem amused in the slightest since it was originally his idea to give the Samoan Queen said coconut tree in the first place!

In segment three of our new WWE show, Backstage Shenanigans, we spy Kaitlyn asking Derrick Bateman if he misses the simpler days when NXT was about talking the talk and capturing flags. (which NAOMI won #obligatorynaomimention) Derrick smartly claims he does not at all, as they try to find Hawkins and Reks to meet up. Kaitlyn seems to believe that our benevolent NXT Queen lied again, but she is soon cut off by the whimpering screams of what I believe is a deep voiced cat crying out for help. They walk closer towards the door and unlock it, before finding a gagged and bound Matt Striker!

Derrick undoes the latch as this hysterical version of Striker tries to get out immediately! They notice Curt Hawkins has left Matt with one of his pimp canes named Glen, as Derrick tries to tell him to see a doctor. Striker lets them know that he will handle this himself, before stumbling out of the room and heading to do God knows what!

For the final time of the night, we head backstage again as Maxine aka Scary Sherri, alongside her counterpart, Dirty Curty, run into Hawkins and Reks once again! They demand to know where Striker is, but Maxine claims she does not know at all. The two do not seem pleased with our beauty in blue, as Dirty Curty wonders why no ransom note was included. Maxine asks if they find this a little… ironic, as the AMAZING Johnny Curtis belts out a falsetto sounding version of “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette which would surely give him a victory on any TV singing competition show. From there, the two head off and our Diva related segments are finished!

Thoughts: Beautiful. Captivating. Earth shattering. All words I use to describe anything that involves Maxine, Kaitlyn, Johnny Curtis, and Derrick Bateman. Of course, I also feel the same about anything that includes Tamina, Curt Hawkins, or Tyler Reks as well, but to touch on the main storyline involving the disappearance of Matt Striker, I think it was handled amazingly. And by amazingly, I mean so random that I’m sure everyone but me is going ‘WTF?’ as I just stare on in awe of this show. I think I’ve made it clear that I mainly love NXT because of the backstage segments, so seeing a show that is primarily dedicated to them so heavily is one that I love to recap.

Also, if you need more in the Tyson Kidd/Michael McGillicutty saga after what aired last week involving Natalya, I highly recommend you view the two males in this week’s main event as it was tremendous and needs to be seen by all. Natalya does not appear during it, but I’m posting this for those who are wondering if anything happened after last week’s antics. (Okay, I’m obviously using Natalya as a scapegoat so I can hype to you all what a phenomenal match it was!~)

Until next week, adios for now!

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