Friday, September 17, 2021

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NXT Watch (January 4th, 2012): Kaitlyn & Maxine Square Off, Wedding Bells Chime Once Again

In a week filled with the controversy over a comedienne’s comments and the heartbreak of a former wrestler’s quest to lose weight, let me take you on a ride to sheer peace for the next few minutes with the delight that is this week’s episode of NXT. You see, not only did we have a match between Kaitlyn and Maxine, and NOT ONLY did we get one of the greatest backstage segments I’ve ever witnessed, but — hear me out — we also get to once again plan for an NXT wedding! Maxine tries her luck once more in two weeks on the 100th episode of the show which emanates from sin city: Las Vegas! Although, I do stand behind BateMax, it seems that Curtsine is the way of the future, so let’s delve right into this week’s show!

We first spot a brief video recap of the BateMaxTis (trademark to my good friend, Shirlz) shenanigans from last week which saw Maxine dump Derrick for that whippersnapper, Dirty Curty. Following the masterpiece, Derrick can be seen chatting up resident bounty hunter, Kaitlyn! He talks about how everyone keps telling him how crazy Maxine was but that he kind of liked it until it got to be too much. Kaitlyn tries to pump him up, as the two agree he will no longer write in his dream journal. After she dubs him Derrick “Sweet Meat” Bateman and they share a baseball reference, Maxine and Dirty Curty pop up like a pimple on prom night!

Maxine accuses Derrick of doing the deed with Aksana as Dirty Curty and his sweat pants seem to be executing some funky dance moves behind his lady. Derrick tries to tell Maxine he doesn’t understand where this rumor came from, but this only fires her up. Dirty Curty tries to calm everyone down, but Maxine shrieks at him to SHUT… UP! He attempts to proclaim they are all friends here, but Derrick corrects him that they are not. Kaitlyn then chimes in and calls Maxine a hussy! Maxine retaliates by questioning if anything Kaitlyn says is interesting because no one cares! Kaitlyn then makes a sound to try and drown Maxine out, but Maxine fights it with the greatest come back I’ve ever heard… “What? Are you giving birth?!” Genius.

As I try to regroup myself after 20,000 replays of Maxine asking if Kaitlyn’s giving birth, Derrick interrupts the two by informing Dirty Curty that he’s going to enjoy watching their relationship go down in flames. He tells Maxine that when she comes crawling back, he’s not going to be there, to which she says that will never happen. She says that she knows what Derrick did, and that after crossing her, he’s going to regret it. She lays a big ol’ kiss on Dirty Curty right in front of Derrick and Kaitlyn, before walking off and leaving the three together. Derrick then decides to follow suit and head out, as Dirty Curty tries to make a move on innocent Kaitlyn. She informs him that she’s not getting in his van (once again, genius comeback) before heading out and leaving Dirty Curty all alone to grovel in his cloud of dust like Pig-Pen of Charlie Brown fame.

We’re told that if we want it, come and get it, and I do want more NXT so let us continue on with a match pitting Kaitlyn against Maxine. The arena turns the greatest color in the world, bright green, as out walks the star of the season, Maxine herself! I take great joy in hearing the voice of William Regal grace our computer screens once again, as the red headed greatness climbs into the ring and poses for the camera. The green then turns to pink, as out pops the benevolent, Kaitlyn, to grace us with her baseball themed presence. She skips down the ramp and slides into the ring, as Maxine gives her a pretty devilish look. The bell then sounds and we get underway!

They lock up and circle around the ring until Kaitlyn shoves Maxine back and breaks the hold. Another lock up as Maxine takes advantage this time and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the turnbuckle. Kaitlyn reverses Maxine’s hair pull attempt into an arm lock that she then uses to hoist Maxine in the air and drop her in the corner! She tries to Irish whip the lady in black, but Maxine counters with a knee to the mid-section. She then goes for an Irish whi herself, but this time it is Kaitlyn who counters and lifts Maxine up with a bodyslam. She follows it up with a leg drop for a few two counts, before striking with a great European uppercut. Kaitlyn looks to go for a power slam but Maxine smartly counters into a beautiful reverse dragon sleeper! Kaitlyn tries her hardest to fight out, but ultimately falls to the hold and submits. Maxine then proceeds to make her way up the ramp as the referee tries to help Kaitlyn regain her composure.

As Derrick Bateman competes in the main event against Darren Young, he is suddenly interrupted by the voice of an angel, as Maxine screams out his name from the stage. She and Dirty Curty walk out hand in hand, as she questions if this is a distraction for him during his match? Following that, Maxine informs the world that in two weeks for NXT’s 100th episode, Maxine and Dirty Curty are having a LAS VEGAS WEDDING! The world celebrates at this magnificent news, which ultimately provides distraction for Derrick as Dirty Curty chimes in that they’re in “looooooveee”. Derrick tries to exit the ring, but Darren Young capitalizes with the finishing move that Jinder Mahal used in FCW (sorry, but that will forever be how I remember it!) to pick up the victory. Bateman then stares at the two, who proceed to make out on the stage to close the show.

Thoughts: I feel like a choir should stand around me just repeatedly singing “Hallelujah” over and over. This show seriously has to be written for me. I firmly believe that WWE creative stalk my Twitter page in order to find ideas of what to do next because this season has been everything I’ve wanted in wrestling and more. The backstage segment rivals Agnes Bateman and Portia Perez in hilarity, especially with Dirty Curty’s random dancing, Kaitlyn’s “sweet meat” and “hussy” comments, and Maxine asking if the sound Kaitlyn was making was her giving birth. I legitimately don’t have enough good things to say about this because I’ve already re-watched it so much my computer might be facing a possible meltdown.

The match, unfortunately, was insanely short, which is a shame because these two have proven in their earlier showing a few months ago that they can have a solid bout given the time. I loved the fact that Maxine finally won though, because I can only recall two matches against AJ since her return that she emerged victorious. Her dragon sleeper finisher was killer, and I love how unique she is from all of the other Divas. From her ring gear, to her moveset, to her mannerisms, she stands out possibly more than almost anyone else on the roster. Kaitlyn was also solid, albeit, like I said, the time didn’t really give them a lot to do together. Much like Maxine, I think Kaitlyn stands out a lot too in the sense that she uses a lot of power moves instead of the usual one legged dropkick of doom, haha. Overall, I do wish it got more time obviously, but I’m fortunate for anything that gives these two screen time.

The wedding of Dirty Curty and Maxine will be an event that I look forward to covering. We never got to see Maxine’s big day with Derrick, as the duo ultimately split before their rings were exchanged, and it would be a travesty to not get an NXT Wedding. The 100th episode will surely deliver in every way possible, and I can’t wait to see just who attends this ceremony. Could Aksana be Maxine’s flower girl? Could Tyson Kidd be the best man? Could a random return of Naomi as the maid of honor happen?! So many questions… but like all of you, I must wait another two weeks to find the answers.

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