Saturday, December 9, 2023

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Diva Dirt’s Wheel of Misfortune!

We are using our powers of premonition to predict that tonight on RAW, a match between Beth Phoenix and Melina will be announced for One Night Stand. These Divas have been locked in an intense feud which has provided must-watch television for the masses and has certainly rejuvenated my interest in the women’s division! For those not familiar with the One Night Stand concept, every match has a special “Extreme Rules” stipulation: Randy Orton will face Triple H in a Last Man Standing Match, Undertaker vs Edge in a TLC Match etc.

Last year, we were given – no, not a Divas ladder match. No, not a hardcore rules match… a fucking pudding match. Granted, Candice Michelle was involved so y’know! But this year, the feud is intense, the feud is about wrestling and we just can’t picture Beth in a pudding match. So, we’ve dusted off our “Wheel of Misfortune” to concoct some stipulations for the Glamazon and the A-List Diva! Vote for your favourite below and if you don’t like any of ’em, leave your own ideas in a comment!

Leather Strap Match: This match hasn’t been in WWE for a century and a half, I think it’s the ultimate Divas stipulation match. Please, WWE dust it off! Whenever there’s a big Divas feud, break out the strap… this could be the start of a tradition! We’d love to see Beth and Melina lock horns tied to each end of a leather strap because it could have some storyline semblance. After all, Melina has been attacking Beth of late with her “boot of woe”, just replace the boot with a strap!

Divas Street Fight: The last time the Divas were involved in a street fight/falls count anywhere match was on RAW last year, between Melina and Mickie. This match could be a little more Diva friendly, since I can’t picture WWE putting them in a ladder match. With Beth’s brute force (remember her slamming Melina into the locker repeatedly?!) it could be interesting to see how she uses the arena as her weapon against Melina.

Paddle On A Pole Match: This match, in the past, has had T&A connotations (light spanking, anyone?) but given the right combination of Divas (which we have here), the paddle could prove a dreaded weapon for either Beth or Melina! Given Beth’s distinct size advantage over Melina, this could be a great equaliser for Melina to wear out the Glamazon!

Divas Cage Match: For the second time in history, is it possible that WWE could break out the steel cage for the Divas? We’d like to think so! Melina and Beth locked inside the steel cage could help settle their differences once and for all! It would also help determine a new No.1 Contender for the Women’s Championship. After you’ve survived and won a cage match, you surely deserve a shot at Mickie, right?

“I Quit” Match: With a similar theme to the match above, this would again settle the score between the Glamazon and the A-Lister and determine a new challenger for Mickie. These girls have so far pulled out all the stops – Melina attacking Beth with her boot and Beth beating the crap out of her backstage – maybe the words “I quit” are the only way to go?

Whatever the option here, I’m looking for a history-making match. Please, please don’t dump us with another freakin’ lumberjack match or I will sue. Which match would you like to see? Vote now! If you have your own idea, leave a comment!


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