Saturday, May 18, 2024

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Identity Parade: Who Attacked Kaitlyn?

Welcome  to the first edition of  Identity Parade here on Diva Dirt! Whether it’s a ‘whodunnit’ or a ‘whoisit’ (I’ve coined that term myself), Team DD are on the case, and we’ll try our very best to solve each investigation, but we need your help! Together, we’ll aim to leak some secrets or be the meddling kids that make sure any villainous vixens don’t get away with it! Det. Jack White is on the case for this inaugural assignment, and boy is it a big one!

The WWE Universe has been on tender hooks for the last couple as months as we’ve been left wondering ‘Who Attacked Kaitlyn’? It’s been the biggest cliff-hanger since ‘Who Shot J.R’ in ‘Dallas’ (and I don’t mean Jim Ross, he’s just been set alight before) so understandably, you’re all speculating as to who might have assaulted the Hybrid Diva from behind, allowing Eve to take her place in a match against Layla and capture the WWE Divas Title.

In this column, I’ll be providing the case notes and presenting you with our police line-up of the potential dastardly divas who could have committed the crime. I’ll be sifting through the Prime Suspects, the Dark Horses and the not so likely Sublimely Ridiculous to find out once and for all who the ambiguous assailant is!

Prime Suspects

Name: Eve Torres

Previous Convictions: Kicking Zack Ryder in the woo-woo-woos at WrestleMania; attempting to ‘use’ John Cena.

Case Notes: Eve had the most to gain by attacking Kaitlyn at Night of Champions. The record setting three-time Divas Champ was receiving high praise from SmackDown General Manager Booker T at the time and did she know that she would be his first port of call as a replacement challenger for Layla? Miss Torres has denied all accusations towards her in recent weeks although potential cracks have seemed to show as of late, like when she slapped Kaitlyn’s cheek off backstage at Raw. It could be argued that Eve was only defending herself as a result of name calling (being called a witch burns like hell) yet since then, more potential evidence has been thrown around like it’s going out of fashion. An email on Eve’s IPad instructing Aksana to attack Kaitlyn was discovered yet Eve is sticking to her story; she had nothing to do with the attack and someone else has tampered with her email account. Hmm, I’m not so sure about that Eve!

Name: Aksana

Previous Convictions: Leaving Goldust at the altar after using him to get a visa; her match of the season (#sarcasm) against Kaitlyn on NXT Season 3.

Case Notes: Aksana wasn’t even mentioned for a long time in this case but her name has been a hot topic as of late. The Lithuanian Lovely has confirmed reports that Eve sent her an email asking her to attack the winner of NXT Season 3, yet Aksana has not yet confirmed if she carried out the dirty deed or not. No other potential leads have emerged in the two weeks since this shocking statement was issued but maybe that’s because Divo-Dropping Diva is trying to keep a low profile…

Go to next page for our dark horses…

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