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SmackDown Redux (May 13th, 2011): Kharma Adds Another Victim To The List.

For the past two weeks we’ve been watching the rise of the most exciting performer to ever grace the WWE. The artist formerly known as Awesome Kong, Kharma, debuted back at Extreme Rules giving Michelle McCool the greatest exit of any Diva. Since then she’s been scaring Divas on both Raw and SmackDown, taking out the likes of Alicia Fox, Maryse, and Eve Torres along the way. This week not only does Kharma add another Diva to her list of casualties, she sets her sites on someone else. Dun dun duuuuuuuun!

This week’s Diva portion of SmackDown kicks off after an unfortunate plug for the main event later in the evening (which I won’t be watching because I’m still boycotting, haha). Layla is in the ring, dressed in street cloths and holding a microphone, and her music is playing. I’m just going to call it her music now because it’s the second week in a row that she’s used it. Anyway, once the music fades, she starts speaking. Layla says that at Extreme Rules her friendship with Michelle McCool came to an end when she finally beat her in a Loser Leaves WWE match. Layla continues on by saying that during the match she ended up hurting her knee, but as painful as the injury is, it was worth it. She’s glad she finally rid the WWE of the poison that is Michelle McCool.

That prompts Michael Cole to come out of the Cole Mine, microphone in hand, and put a stop to Layla’s promo. He gets in the ring and oh so politely tells Layla that no one cares about her or Michelle. In fact, he adds, no one apparently cares about any of the Divas. He tells Layla that she’s been inhaling to much hayseed here in the Volunteer state. Womp womp. He makes a reference to Layla’s promo saying that it sounds like something out of the original Housewives (wtf?! REAL Housewives, asshole) and he turns to the crowd. He says they only want to hear him talk about Tennessee’s own, Jerry Lawler.

Like puppets, the crowd pops.

At this point, I’m tuning out because personally I don’t give a crap what Michael Cole has to say. His feud with Jerry Lawler has been one of the biggest wastes of time I’ve ever seen. I was in Atlanta for the ‘Mania match and it came off as one of the worst matches of the night. The fans used it as filler to get beer and go to the bathroom, myself included despite the massive crush I’ve developed on Jack Swagger recently.

Layla starts talking again. Michael Cole makes another stupid, tasteless reference to his mother being alive. And Layla goes, “wow, Michael. Wow.”

Exactly girl. Are your ears bleeding too?

“Michael… SHUT UP!” Layla gets in his face but the pompous jackass just rolls his eyes. She tells Cole to go crawl back into his little glass house like a little puppy and Cole cuts her off. He tells her that she’s just like all the other Divas; nothing but a pretty little crybaby. He mocks her and her injury, and then makes the horrific comment that the Divas shouldn’t even be in the WWE. He’s about to launch into a massive rant when the music of Kharma hits. Cole freezes. Layla freezes. Both of them in the ring turn towards the entrance ramp where Kharma is making her way onto the stage.

She locks her eyes on Layla as she slowly makes her way to the ring. Cole gets the impression that he’s safe from her wrath and he begins harassing Layla about the fate she’s sure to suffer. Kharma gets in the ring and when Layla goes to run, Cole sticks his foot out. Layla trips over and falls on her face which makes her easy pickings for Kharma. Layla kisses the ring mat via Implant Buster and Kharma adds another victim to her list. Cole starts taunting Layla, and he’s really going at it.

But then…Kharma turns her sites on him!

Cole looks petrified and rightfully so, and he hightails it out of the ring and back to the safety of the Cole Mine. Kharma follows him and for a few intense seconds she stares a hole right through Michael Cole. He wets his pants (I’m totally making that up) and finally, Kharma leaves him be. She’s sent another message.

What’s going to happen on Raw now?

In my personal opinion I hope Michael Cole gets slaughtered on Raw so we don’t have to waste another pay-per-view match on himself and Lawler. If I sound slightly annoyed in this Redux it’s because I am. The reason I’m annoyed is probably going to surprise you, though. It absolutely makes me sick to write this but having stupid Michael Cole interrupt Layla’s promo is perhaps one of the smartest things the ‘E has done for the Divas other than hiring Kharma. At this point, Cole is a heat magnet and despite the fact his promo began with the crowd cheering for Lawler, it ended with the crowd sympathizing with Layla. We all agree that Layla should be SmackDown’s top face and when Cole tripped her the crowd was all over him for the heinous act. As a result, Layla was fed to Kharma and she was put away with the Implant Buster. The segment also served as yet another tool in getting Kharma over, not that she needed any more help. The crowd was going nuts when she was eyeing up Cole and who didn’t want her to just rip the Cole Mine out of the ground and wrap her hands around Cole’s scrawny neck?! I’m a little impressed by this. Kudos to you, WWE. You actually decided to think outside of the box for a change.

That said, if I ever have to see a Kharma vs. Michael Cole match, I will scream. No doubt it would be enjoyable, but if the powers that be won’t let a legit Hall of Famer beat the cocky so-called broadcast journalist, then there’s no way in Hell they’re going to let a woman beat him, not even a woman like Kharma. Of course I could be wrong, but at this point, I doubt it. WWE doesn’t give fans what they want and if they do start, it won’t be in the Diva’s division I can promise you that. Call me negative, or even a cynic. I don’t care. These have and always will be the musings of a real wrestling fan.

It’s just here lately this real wrestling fan is a lot more jaded. Until next week… goodnight!

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