Friday, June 21, 2024

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Total Divas Redux: ‘Digging a Hole’

What up, Total Divas fans? This week’s redux is brought to you courtesy of me, Eleri, and I’m super exicted about it. I love this show, and I’m sure Sunday’s episode will not disappoint. After Cabo last week, we know Nikki Bella was married previously (shocked face emoji!), and we learned about Eva Marie‘s history with substance abuse. Now I will be the first to put my hand up and say that when she first came on the scene, I was not an #allredeverything fan. But that’s changed. Season 2 has seen Eva grow as a woman, figuring out her marriage and her friendships and I feel like she’s really trying hard. So I’m on board the red express.

Let’s crack on then!

We re-watch Nikki revealing her secret marriage to her family, and I need to take a moment to talk about JJ. Like… I get that it’s a big thing to keep from your family, but bro, it’s not like she secretly married you. As someone with three older, protective brothers, I thought it was very over the top from him. Not a fan. Nope. Was he secretly auditioning for a soap opera role, or something?

Moving on. Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan are having some lunch and discussing the week ahead. Brie mentions the long list of things that need to get done, and Daniel Bryan remains his calm, not-so-interested self. But then things take a turn – Brie asks Daniel if he can trim his beard. Dun, dun dun! Brie tells us how she didn’t expect Daniel’s beard to be so famous, which means they can’t get rid of it. She just wants to clean him up a bit. Understandable.

Oh my God, Daniel has my favourite line of the night. “Don’t you wanna get married to all of this?”

Awesome. He’s not happy about the wax being so close to his face, and Brie looks like she’s preening a little poodle! Josie, in the meantime, doesn’t know what’s going on. She proceeds to lick the wax off Daniel’s face, and as someone who reeeeally, reeeeeeally dislikes face kisses from dogs, I wrinkled my nose. Blergh.

We cut to my fave, Nikki Bella. Seriously love this woman. She receives a phone call from Natalya, who I’m sure she’s concerned might spill the beans on the “old wedding”. Nikki tells us about WrestleMania; how important it is to the fans and the Superstars and Divas, but also about how it’s WrestleMania 30 – the BIG ONE. I always love these little bits where the girls talk about the WWE and their careers because while this show is about them and who they are, a lot of it has to do with their relationships. Which is totally fine. But I love seeing their passion for their careers in there too.

As predicted, Nikki brings up the topic of her marriage, asking if Nattie has told anyone. Nattie’s a good friend and has kept Nikki’s secret, but she warns her that sooner or later, John Cena will find out and nobody knows how he’s going to react. Personally? I think he’ll be pissed. But then I think ever the good guy Cena will calm down and declare his love for Nikki, and they’ll live happily ever after. (I really want them to get married, okay? Leave me alone.)

Naomi is back! She wants to pick up where she left off before her horrible eye injury (#deportaksana) but time will tell if she can! Cameron looks particularly happy to see her BFF and they hug it out. Cameron was a little bit concerned about what Naomi’s injury could have meant for her own career as one half of the Funkadactyls, which I get, but she quickly made us all aware last week that her main concern is Naomi’s health. Yaaaay, friendship!

Backstage, Nikki has tracked John and she’s determined that she’s going to tell him everything. Not gonna lie, I’m not sure work is the best place to drop a truth bomb as big as this one. “Hey sweetheart, are you excited for your match? Oh by the way I was married before! Haha, isn’t that funny?”

No. It’s not funny.

Aaaaand Nikki doesn’t tell him. She realizes work is NOT the place for this conversation, thank the Lord, and decides to do it at home. John goes back to his meeting. Poor Nikki! She’s literally so scared of telling him but she has to – it’s one of those things. (Why do I have the sinking feeling that he’s going to find out from someone else first?) Elsewhere, on Raw, Naomi makes a triumphant return to the title picture, knocking off current champ AJ Lee. Naomi’s determined to be the next Divas Champion.

Brie’s at her last wedding dress fitting before the wedding. I would like to take a moment to talk about Brie’s dress. It’s BEAUTIFUL. She looks incredible, and I’m so happy for her! (I’m not crying, you’re crying.) Seriously, if you’d told me a couple of years ago that the Bella Twins would be my faves, I’d have been like “nah, where Mickie James at?” I still love Mickie, but the Bellas are just queens.

So Brie’s upset that Nikki still hasn’t told John, because she doesn’t want the drama of it at her wedding. They made a deal that Nikki would do it before, and she has yet to come through. Later, some guy called Bryan calls Nikki and informs her that she and Brie need to be available for a WrestleMania 30 shoot, and while Brie mouths to Nikki that she’s busy in Sedona, Nikki full on ignores her and accepts the offer.

“The thing about a wedding, is that it’s a very special moment… and you don’t get it.”

Oooooh. Brie throws some serious shade Nikki’s way. She doesn’t stop there. She tells her that they both have dreams of being wives and mothers, and those are bigger than being a top diva, but Brie says Nikki is bitter that Brie’s dreams are coming true and that Nikki is a selfish bitch.

Woah. She’s not holding back. Nikki’s face is my favourite thing. Nikki up and leaves. Who wouldn’t? Holy crap, Brie! That was harsh.

We’re back from commercial and it’s the actual Queen of Queens (see what I did there?) Stephanie McMahon. My idol. Steph is filming a fitness dvd at the performance centre in Orlando, and she’s chosen Naomi to be a part of it. Naomi has a quick one to one with the boss lady and tells her that she’s focused, and feels better than ever, and Stephanie assures her that she’s rooting for her all the way.

The Bellas are in New Orleans and Brie’s still annoyed that she can’t be in Sedona, but she’s sent her mum to check out the venues instead. Metaphors about clowns abound as Brie and Nikki talk out their issues. While getting ready for the Mania shoot, Mama Bella calls and says that, basically, things are not going well. Between emu poop at one place and, ironically, no restrooms at the other, Brie’s stressing out.

Over in New York, Nikki and Nattie head down the gym for a work out, and it quickly turns into a gossip sesh. Brie’s not sure about inviting Summer Rae to her wedding, and Nikki’s set on not letting the blonde attend. Brie’s heart is too big and she’s too nice, but Nikki and Nattie agree that the day should be about her and that if she doesn’t want Summer there, she shouldn’t invite her.

The ladies are called in to a meeting with Mark, who asks after a few of them. He reveals that Summer has been cast in the Marine 4. Apparently the Marine franchise is very successful. Conspicuously missing from the promo was Ted DiBiase Jr. (former love of my life [I have a lot of those]) but I can let it go. Haha, Natalya’s reaction is brilliant. There’s some big news coming for the ladies; Mark’s going to tell them who got the coveted WrestleMania match with AJ. But as we all know…

It’s all of them!

Brie and Daniel are on their way to Sedona to look at the venues. Brie wants to see them for herself before making a choice. Brie’s still not sure about Summer but once again she’s reminded that it’s about what she wants, not anyone else. So she’s still got a decision to make. Some little cracks start to show between the lovebirds when they have to check in for their cottage, and it doesn’t bode well for the weekend. Uh oh.

We’re at Cena’s palace house in Tampa, and Nikki’s working up the courage to tell him. She’s momentarily distracted by a frog. Not surprisingly, she doesn’t tell John. She turns the subject to Brie and how she’s frustrated with her sister.

Speaking of, Brie and Daniel are in Sedona looking at the venues and they’re both gorgeous, but the second one – the ranch – just packs such a punch that they’d be crazy not to choose it. It’s a little expensive, like a hundred thousand dollars expensive, but you only get married once, right? Daniel reasons with her – it’s a lot of money, and they come to the conclusion that they’re simple people, and the most important thing is that they’re getting married. It’s about them, and only them. Aww, Daniel!

I literally want to cry over them. They’re perfect. Have babies please.

After a brief stop in New York for a press conference, the divas head to New Orleans to start the party. Eva looks back on her last year and muses over how much has changed, and she’s right.

The Bellas head for coffee and to meet their Mom and the head diva himself, JJ. Nikki makes things right with her brother, and he brings up John who still doesn’t know! But Nikki lies and says that he took it well. I’ve a feeling that’s not going to end well.

Brie finally corners Summer and tells her that she doesn’t want her at the wedding. I understand, it makes sense. They’ve had their issues and after the whole thing with Bryan, Brie has every right to invite and not invite who she wants. Summer doesn’t take the news too well but she’s understanding, and it prompts a spot of self-reflection on her part. She didn’t realize how badly she’d burned bridges with some of the girls and explains that coming into this, she’s insecure because she’s the same age as the Bellas and has yet to have even half the career they’ve had. Summer gets teary and admits that she does run her mouth, but it’s because she feels like it’s her against the world. Poor girl. You can see her side, but at the same time, bitching and sly behaviour is not the way forward. Might work for a little while but in the end we all need to appreciate and make time for one another.

Whoops, got a little philosophical there.

Summer and Brie end on a good note, and Summer realizes that she needs to refocus and change her ways. Nice little bit of development for her.

Eva Marie is freaking out a little bit about being in WrestleMania, and Nattie is not helping by reminding her that it’s live, and being filmed and watched by millions of people. If Eva makes a mistake, it will forever be stitched in history. Nattie advises her to thrive in the nervous energy.

It’s make or break time.

We’re all done for this week’s redux, and next week looks sensational. John finds out about Nikki’s marriage, Daniel cries through his vows (which will make me cry, I know it) and it’s WrestleMania!

See you then! x

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