Saturday, April 20, 2024

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Total Divas Redux: Episode Four, ‘The Fat Twin’


There is no other way to start this than with a big, ole NO HE DIDN’T!!!! Tyson Kidd (TJ), are you serious?! Did you legit try and take Natalya (Nattie) to a sketchy ass courthouse to get hitched? She wasn’t impressed either, and who can blame her. The whole Nattie/Tyson wedding fiasco is just one of the many OMGWTF things that happened in the latest episode of Total Divas. In fact, I felt myself jumping atop my soap box more often than not this episode, and that’s not really a bad thing. The episode just brought a lot of different things to light, good and bad. We don’t really expect to see the sexiest women on television struggle with body issues, and that’s something that Brie and Nikki Bella, and Cameron (Ariane), all fought with this episode.

The Bella Twins are beautiful, anyone can see that. Both of them have fantastic bodies but during breakfast with Eva Marie and JoJo, Nikki got slapped in the face with some Instagram hate. She was called the “fat twin” in the comments of a photo Eva Marie showed her, and she did her best not to let affect her. But it did and things didn’t get better for Nikki when Brie decided they needed to go on a 20-day juice cleanse to prepare for their SummerSlam photoshoot that was coming up. When the episode opened up, Brie decided that she needed to lose three pounds in order to feel fully confident about her body for the shoot. Boyfriend Daniel Bryan (Bryan) just laughed it off, but Brie decided to go hardcore into her plan. She’s known for being healthy, eating right and working out – the exact opposite of her sister. Surprisingly enough, Nikki agreed to give up alcohol and dessert for the 20 days but it didn’t surprise anyone but Brie when she failed. Brie found a empty wine bottle and muffin in her sister’s trash and was so disappointed that Nikki couldn’t hold out. She even went as far as to tell her that she deserves to be known as the fat twin before she stalked herself right out of Nikki’s house.

Emotions boiled over at the shoot when Brie bragged about how great she felt and looked, and Nikki finally snapped. She told Brie that she was making her feel really lousy and went off to be by herself. That kind of struck a nerve in Brie, who legitimately thought her tough love approach was going to help her sister, and the two ended up making up. Nikki stood up for herself and her body, saying that she loved her curves and the way she looked. Brie kind of got quiet and revealed that basically she never feels thin enough. She even went as far as to say that whenever she loses five pounds, she always feels like she needs to lose three more. Nikki called her crazy (and so did I, to be honest), but that’s just part of the dark side of the entertainment business.

Brie’s discipline when it comes to diet, exercise, and portion control is amazing. I don’t find her too skinny because she looks amazing and fit. I’m definitely more a Nikki, to be honest, and if she’s fat, then I’m disgustingly obese. They might be twins, but they’re not clones as Brie pointed out. They have two different body types and both of them are beautiful. There’s no way I could have done a ridiculous, 20-day juice cleanse that would curb my appetite. Like Nikki, I would have been grumpy and hungry, and just downright miserable. I can’t even do a seven-day dandelion root tea and lemon water detox to get rid of water weight. That’s how bad I am. I’m just glad that Nikki finally stood up for herself and I appreciated Brie’s vulnerability in admitting that she’s insecure about her looks.

Cameron’s own issues with her body were also a focus of the episode. Her problems revolved around her chest, or lack thereof in her opinion, and it all came to a head at a fan signing. Cameron took note of the attention Nikki gets thanks to her boob job, and decided to go ahead and make the appointment to get a consultation about one for herself. She waits until Naomi (Trinity) and Jimmy Uso (Jon) are in Los Angeles and recruits them to join her. The scene is hilarious with all of them feeling up the breasts of someone who had been a patient at the clinic before. Naomi lets Jimmy know that this is his one and only free pass, and just seems embarrassed through out all of it.

Oh, and did I mention that Cameron brought her dog with her? Girl, yes.

Cameron is given silicon implants to test out and she decides to go all out. She ends up losing one while jumping in the pool and Naomi is amazed that it’s floating in the water like a jelly fish. Despite that, Cameron seems obsessed with the way they make her look and our friend Vincent likes them too. Cameron’s better half is so intrigued by the possibility of his lady love getting a new chest, that when she models them for him he gets ‘sweat'” and falls in love with the left one. He affectionately refers to it as ‘Janice’, which is creepy. Seriously, of all names, why Janice? And why name it at all? That was such a weird and uncomfortable scene, but it was no worse than when Seamstress Sandra got ahold of Cameron backstage.

Sandra slayed the screen as usual, and Naomi gets horrified at one point because our favorite seamstress is encouraging Cameron. She’s willing to sew Cameron’s implants into her top so she doesn’t lose one at ringside. The Bellas get whiff of everything going on and they decide to play a little prank on Cameron. Nikki jacks one of the implants and when it’s time for the Funkadactyls to hit the ring, Cameron has a panic attack because she can’t find her other boob. A search ensues but to no avail. Cameron has to stuff her top with toilet paper.

The Bellas are watching backstage and there’s a cute cameo with Nikki’s love, John Cena. He playfully scolds them for what they’ve done to Cameron and goes off about his business, leaving the mischievous twins giggling. Cameron has toilet paper hanging out of her top when she comes backstage and the Bellas own up to their prank. Cameron takes everything in stride, but vows revenge behind the backs of the Bella Twins. When all is said and done, Cameron decides she wants to be a role model for the little girls that look up to them and that includes not altering her body, and owning what she was given. One funny thing that happened involved Brie trying on the boobs. Needless to say, Nikki was all about her sister getting implants after seeing that!

The star of this episode was Nattie, no doubt. We got a chance to see her life outside the ring, and meet her longtime boyfriend. The dynamic between them was intense to say the least. Natalya is a goddess when it comes to looks, and she is stacked. So when she came out in this gorgeous, sexy black lingerie and Tyson couldn’t tear his eyes away from the television I wanted to scream. I’m a perfectly straight female, who LOVES men, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Natalya. Boy, you better get it together. Natalya was so frustrated with him through out this whole episode.

The courthouse thing was just the icing on the cake and it followed a pretty heartbreaking lunch between the couple. Natalya wanted to make wedding plans, but Tyson just wanted to talk about his rehab. It sucks coming back from injury, no doubt, but at one point I was thinking Nattie was going to have to dress up as Daniel Bryan as well to get Tyson’s attention. Nattie eventually gave up her fight, which prompted the whole courthouse outing. Naturally, she was pissed off and upset. 13 years is a long time to be with someone, especially your first love. Their childhood pictures were adorable and when they finally came together at the end, you could see how much chemistry was between them even after all these years.

To see Nattie drop a F-bomb on Tyson of all people was shocking, but she was soooooo mad. At that moment she didn’t even want to marry him and luckily that prompted her to finally spill her feelings to him. The ending was so sweet and the couple decided on a beach wedding. We know they get married judging by the previews and I can’t wait to see the end result!

This episode was my favorite, by far. I adore and admire these women so much for what they go through. We didn’t get much from Eva Marie and JoJo, but it seems like life after Sebastian is looking good for JoJo! As far as Eva Marie goes, no doubt she will have more tricks up her sleeve for later in the season. I know I say this every week, but is it Sunday yet?!

What did you think of this week’s Total Divas? Tell us in the comments!

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