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SmackDown Redux (June 25th, 2010): Jump Rope Gets More Screen Time Than Divas

Only in WWE could an altercation be incited by gasp, a jump rope. The starring role, it seems, of tonight’s Divas segment went to said jump rope and it looked to me as though it got even more screen time, focus and attention than any of the Divas. In the words of The Miz: “Really? REALLY?” ‘Jump rope-gate’ came across as silly child’s play and made me wonder whether SmackDown had been transported to a kindergarten playground. These are grown women, right? Is it that hard to come up with real, personal animosity to sell storylines for the women? Apparently so. Watch ‘Friday Night Jump Rope’ below:

The segment opens with Rosa Mendes in the ring skipping in the ring. Sure, she’s got jump rope game but why is this on our TV? Out comes Kelly Kelly accompanied by Tiffany before Lay-Cool come out with Kaval and join commentary. Matt Striker explains that last week, Lay-Cool told Rosa to get in shape and that’s why she’s jumping rope. Hey Rosa, couldn’t do that backstage? Cue some funny comments from Lay-Cool and yes, I am still loving the rolling R’s. [“Rrrrrosa… Rrrrring”]

The bell rings, Rosa goes to hang up her rope, gets clubbed from behind by Kelly. Kelly hits the K2 and in the words of Bugs Bunny, “That’s all, folks!” So, the entrances took up two minutes and the whole match, bell to bell, lasted what… 10 seconds?

After the ‘match’, if it can even be called that, Kelly shows off her jump rope game before throwing the rope at Lay-Cool who are at the announce table. Layla and Michelle get heated and try to enter the ring to confront Kelly but Tiffany evens up the numbers and the co-Women’s Champions back off. Wait… haven’t both Layla and Michelle beaten Tiffany? Not that logic applies to WWE’s writing but wouldn’t it be easy for Lay-Cool to take out Tiffany considering she’s fallen to both of them before? Then couldn’t they just gang up on Kelly? It doesn’t seem all that ‘smart’, as Matt Striker put it, to me. Then again, you can see both Layla and Michelle are in expensive shoes and short skirts so it was given that there’d be no scuffle here. At least make it believeable!

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (June 24th, 2010): Two-on-One

This week on WWE Superstars we have Jillian taking on the Bella Twins. Okay, so she’s really facing Brie Bella, but by now we know that when you face one Bella, it’s pretty much a 2-on-1 affair. Watch the match below:

Jillian comes to the ring all microphoned up and in keeping with the World Cup fever sweeping the world, she sings the “Olé Olé” tune until she’s interrupted by the entrance of the Bellas. With Brie in the ring and Nikki at ringside, the match begins. They start with a tie-up, Brie getting control and wrenching Jillian’s arm, but Jillian slams her to the mat. Brie regains control, twisting her arm behind her back, but Jillian quickly trips her up and causes her to hit face-first onto the mat. For good measure, I suppose, she slaps Brie on the butt. Good lord, I hope that doesn’t become some recurring thing. I can only dread what the WWE would do with a spanking gimmick.

Brie seems to take this as a personal insult, as she immediately leaps onto her and starts a bit of a tussle on the mat. After all the scrambling and hair-pulling, Jillian reverses an Irish whip into the corner. Brie braces herself against the corner, leaping and latching her legs around Jillian’s neck, but it’s telegraphed and Jillian pulls her free of the turnbuckle, letting her fall full-on onto the mat. Jillian then chokes her against the second rope, bashing her throat against it. After toying with her a bit, Jillian hits a snapmare and kicks her square in the back, attempt a pin that only garners a 2-count.

She grabs Brie by the arm and twists it back, wrenching her shoulder. When Brie starts to fight out, she simply slams her face onto the mat. Jillian hits her with a scoop slam and goes for her cartwheel splash, but is met in the midsection with Brie’s knees. This slows her down considerably, and allows Brie to go on the patented Diva babyface offensive tear (I’m sure it’s in the manual somewhere, with illustrations of dropkicks and clotheslines), hitting a series of dropkicks, a clothesline, and a bulldog. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out at 2.

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NXT Lay-Kav-Ool Watch (June 22nd, 2010): Awwww! Poor Kaval.

After reading the comments last week, a few of you expressed your opinions and said that you didn’t enjoy the long recaps and whatnot. The majority of you, however, enjoyed having the whole show spoken about so in the interest of fairness (I’m not a World Cup referee), I’ve decided to try and come to a compromise. Hopefully no one will complain about my writing style this week, and if you do, then oh well. It’s not my problem because at least I tried. Anyway, lets get down to it! Last week, Kaval saw his first in-ring action against standout rookie, Alex Riley. He came up on the short end of the stick, but this week he had a chance at redemption against creep-o, Eli Cottonwood. Were Michelle McCool and Layla able to cheer their man to victory or did John Morrison’s psych ward reject steal the win?


skip ahead to 5:15

Kaval versus Cottonwood begins after a commercial so that means we have to miss Kaval’s entrance. That saddens me because this week Laycool is standing at ringside. They have on matching tops and skinny jeans, with porn star shoes, and of course, yours truly is already jealous. These two are so hot! Speaking of hot, the man who needs no mic skills comes out with Eli Cottonwood and Josh Mathews begins throwing out a million different analogies to describe this match. Kaval tries to start the match off on his terms, striking the much larger man in the legs. Cottonwood just brushes it off and bullies Kaval into the corner. Kaval fights back and gets Eli to back off, and he hits him with a fancy air move. Eli staggers but he doesn’t go down, much to Lay-Kav-Ool’s chagrin, I’m sure. Kaval bounces off the ropes and attempts to slide under the legs of Eli, but the monster freak catches our plucky little Brooklyn boy and carelessly tosses him half-way across the ring into a turnbuckle.

Cottonwood takes over the match and begins to punish Kaval for just getting into the ring against him. Eventually he ends up lifting Kaval up into a huge bear hug. Laycool begin cheering on their man and bless him, Kaval begins to fight back. He strikes Eli in the head a few times and that prompts the big man to slam Kaval into the opposite corner from where they began. Kaval keeps trying but Eli grabs him by the throat. Kaval doesn’t give up and he turns Eli’s offense into an illegal submission armbar or something on the ropes. Now that’s pretty damn cool. Kaval breaks the hold right before the five and stands up on the second rope. Eli lumbers towards him but Kaval kicks him back. Eli presses forward and tries to throw Kaval across the ring again. The crafty Kaval lands on his feet and runs towards the ropes. He springs off the middle one and nails Eli in the mouth with a stunning kick.

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Ashley Valence’s Identity Revealed

We now know the identity of new NXT host, Ashley Valence. She is a sports arena hostess who works at the FedEx Forum in Memphis, home of basketball team, the Memphis Grizzlies. Valence’s role includes hyping up the crowd and hosting ‘time-out activities’ during games. MemphisSport.com reports: Grizzlies co-emcee Ashley is now WWE’s Ashley Valence. … Read more

Raw Redux (June 21st, 2010): And Just When It Was Getting Good..

Last night’s Fatal 4-Way PPV left open a lot of possibilities. The mission of tonight’s Raw was to pick that up and run with it. But unfortunately (if we’re sticking to the running metaphors), they pretty much stumbled just out of the gate. They just didn’t keep the excitement going. What did they actually do? Well, good thing you asked..

The first thing we learned about the post-F4W Raw landscape is that Maryse is now managing Ted Dibiase, effectively replaced Virgil. Watch their adventures below:

They seem to have good chemistry, and while it may be seen as a demotion for Maryse to go from being in the thick of a Divas Championship feud to merely managing, it’s good to see that the WWE is still thinking of things for her to do. She wasn’t going to be at the forefront forever, so it’s great to know that she won’t just be sitting on the sidelines twiddling her thumbs until her number gets called again. Plus, this can help put to use what many fans deem to be her greatest asset–her personality. We’ll see if it goes anywhere interesting, but for now, it’s got potential.

Later, Natalya and the Harts were interviewed by Josh Matthews.

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Raw Response: June 21st, 2010

Be sure to watch Raw tonight for all the fallout following Alicia Fox’s surprise Divas Championship win. Tune in at 9pm EST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments! Also, be sure to join us for The Post-Raw Show live at 11pm EST.

Fatal 4-Way in Review: Surprise, Surprise

Last Monday’s unofficial preview of the big Fatal Four-Way Divas Championship match didn’t exactly set the bar of expectations too high. Still, the combination of Divas in this match and its fresh feel kept fans hoping for an entertaining match or an unexpected outcome. Did either occur? Let’s watch and see:

With Divas Champ Eve Torres, Maryse, Gail Kim, and Alicia in the ring, we begin. Instantly, the Divas pair off: Eve with Maryse and Gail with Alicia. Eve gets control of her situation while Alicia controls hers. While Eve and Maryse roll around on the mat, Gail irish-whips Alicia to the corner and goes for an attack, but Alicia moves, and the cat-like Gail perches on the second turnbuckle.She goes for a splash off the corner, but is met with Alicia’s knee to her midsection. Alicia suplexes Gail and bridges it into a pin, but by the 2-count Eve runs over and breaks the pin.

Eve goes for a pin of her own and Maryse watches on as Alicia kicks out at 2. Maryse didn’t seem too have much faith in Eve’s pin attempt. As soon as Eve is off Alicia, Maryse tackles her for an awkward, akward pin attempt that Alicia breaks up. Gail goes back on the attack on Alicia and the two trade blows until Alicia spins her into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. With Gail out, Eve battles against Alicia and Maryse until Alicia manages to get a hand full of her hair and stop her offensive streak. Alicia pulls Eve up and holds her prone for a kick from Maryse. The two talk some trash to the champion before charging her back-first into the corner. Maryse takes charage, talking more trash to Eve and pummeling her while Gail tries to catch Alicia by surprise on the ring apron. Alicia fends her off for the moment, but Gail manages to shoulder-blast her midsection, slip over her back into the ring, run the ropes, and go for a headscissors. But wait–she holds it in mid-air and latches on a arm submission, hyperextending Alicia’s right arm while her legs are wrapped around her head. Now that’s innovative. I’m as impressed with Alicia’s steady stance as I am with Gail’s tenacity.

Eventually, that stance breaks down and Alicia drops to her knees, but Gail holds on. Meanwhile, Eve locks in an armbar on Maryse. Gail breaks up her own submission and stops Eve’s, preventing a tap-out by Maryse. She then takes the same arm of Maryse’s and locks in another armbar. You don’t usually see babyfaces being that sly and resourceful, but this is Gail Kim we’re talking about, so I guess she isn’t your typical Diva anyways. Alicia boots Gail and stops her hold, taking the spoils that is Maryse’s injured arm. She holds it for a bit before relenting when Eve comes to break it up, and Maryse exits the ring like a bat out of hell before anyone else can attack her arm.

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PPV Predictions: WWE Fatal 4-Way

Four Divas, each with a 25% chance of winning, will battle tonight for the Divas Championship. Who will come out on top? The Diva Dirt team weigh in:

Cryssi: Believe it or not, I’ve spent all day pondering this very decision. Something tells me that this match could end up getting a nice chunk of time and with that in mind, we have many possible scenarios. My heart is telling me to pick Maryse to win, and honestly she’s the one I want. Maryse is a star when she has the title and she deserves a great reign to make up for her hellish second one. Eve as champion was a nice experiment for the WWE but one that has been a total epic fail. She will probably end up retaining and to be honest, that sucks. She’s generic champion at best, and I’m just not feeling it. Let’s watch her chase the title for awhile. And when I say chase, I mean really chase. No defeating the champ and then winning the title in the next match. She needs to build her character and make people give a damn about her. As far as the other two women in the match go, call me crazy but Gail Kim as champion doesn’t appeal to me either. She did nothing for me as Women’s Champion or Knockouts Champion, and I highly doubt I’ll care if she’s Divas Champion. Gail Kim has no personality and even though it’s not entirely her fault, she shouldn’t win the title. Soooo that leaves Alicia Fox. Does she deserve the title? Well, she deserves it about as much as the rest of them. So who do I pick? Alicia Fox via a pin on Gail Kim. That way golden girl Eve looks good. Maryse looks good. Gail Kim gains more sympathy and fans get angry. And we finally have a champ with a personality who isn’t Maryse and the WWE can hopefully build the division into something other than a joke.

David: I’m excited because this is the third WWE PPV in a row to feature a good Divas match. Seems like a step in the right direction for the division. Normally I don’t like Fatal 4-Way matches because it is too easy for the champion to lose the title, but I am happy to see Alicia and Gail included here because their feud has been a bright spot on Monday nights. I would love to see Gail win the Divas Title because I think she is the best worker, but I think Maryse is going to steal the title. The other 3 girls will do the heavy lifting but ultimately Maryse will score a cheap pin and get the glory.

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SmackDown Redux (June 18th, 2010): Extreme Exposé Reunion

Some years after their time as dance partners as well as a near year-long feud on ECW, Kelly Kelly and Layla had a high school reunion moment this week on SmackDown. The two Divas squared off and showed each other, as well as the fans, just how far they have come from the days of the uncoordinated [coughKELLYcough] dance troupe.

But before we get to the match, we have a backstage segment with Lay-Cool and Rosa Mendes:

“The Joker called… he wants his make up.” No Layla, not a good one. *Tumbleweed* Nonetheless, this segment made me laugh and yes, I even felt a little sad for poor Rosa who broke down into tears after Lay-Cool teased her. I think it just goes to show the strength of Lay-Cool as characters: not only are they bitchy to the babyfaces, but the heels too. As for the ‘real talk’, real talk indeed. Rosa does need more training and she has yet to win a match. How ironic. But to her credit, the tears made me go ‘aww’. Nicely acted. I think it’d be interesting to see her want to exact revenge on Lay-Cool but still be a heel.

Also, just a couple of quick notes: I loved Michelle’s rolling of the R’s. So funny! And I loved her digging her little fingers into Kaval’s face and him not looking the least bit amused. Bless him. So adorable! I’m loving Lay-Kav-Ool.

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NXT Lay-Kav-Ool Watch (June 15th, 2010): He’s Cute. He’s Cuddly. He Lost To A Douche. He’s Kavaaaal!

Hello and welcome to another fantastic edition of the Diva Dirt WWE NXT recap! I am your host, the one and only… Cryssi! I wish I could say I’m cute and cuddly, but I’d be lying and I don’t really feel the need to do that because lying is wrong. But what I do feel like doing is going on record as saying that Matt Striker has really gorgeous blue eyes. Anyway, last week season two of NXT officially kicked off and all of us were given a small sample as to what we should expect for the remainder of the season. Smackdown mean girls and co-Women’s Champions, Layla and Michelle McCool, are the mentors of Kaval, and we got to sample that mixed up relationship very briefly. It was enough of a tease to leave the majority of us wanting more and this week we got more. So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Blue Eyes himself is standing in the ring to greet us as the show gets underway. As usual, we were treated to a video package highlighting the debut episode of season two, and now Striker wants to have all the unanswered questions, answered. He says they’re going to bring everyone out and that’s just dandy. He announces the rookies first and NXT’s resident frat boy, Alex Riley struts out. He doesn’t really impress anyone because he looks like a love child produced by a DJ Gabriel/Mike Mizian one night stand. Following behind Riley is El Freaky, Eli Cottonwood, and then the adorable Husky Harris. Harris certainly gets a better introduction this week since the bland Cody Rhodes isn’t speaking and that makes me happy because I quite fancy Husky. He’s precious. Our boy, Kaval, is fourth and I love that Josh Mathews mentions that the most intriguing pairing is Kaval and Laycool. It really is. Percy Watson comes out and dear Lord. I still have issues with this person but he took a step in the ring direction this week by wearing puple. I can handle purple a lot better than I can handle red and he doesn’t really stick out like Megan Fox’s deformed thumb this week. Michael McGillicutty, the extremely hot and pretty Lucky Cannon, and Titus O’Neil round out the rookies.

The pros are announced next and Mr. Beautiful gets the coveted position of walking out first. As good as JoMo looks in his ring gear, he looks even better in street clothes, and the dapper button down tie-dye looking shirt he is wearing tonight is simply stunning. The man should be a model. He’s just that perfect. Behind Morrison, is none other than Cody Rhodes but really, who cares? It’s Cody Rhodes. The reason we watch NXT, Laycool, is out third and like usual, they look FLAWLESS! Michelle and Layla are both sporting minidresses again this week and they’re of similar style. Michelle’s is more my thing, but Layla is rocking the hell out of hers. Loving it! MVP, the Intercontinental Champion and my fellow Celtics fan Kofi Kingston, and Mark Henry all come out.

And then Zack Ryder comes out.

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WWE Shop Releases Divas T-Shirt

WWE has finally released some new Diva merchandise with a Divas t-shirt featuring Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly and Michelle McCool. You can pick up the new tee for $14.99 by clicking here. What do you think? Will you be buying?

Raw Redux (June 14th, 2010): Fatal Four-Way, Now in Tag Team Form!

After a few lackluster weeks of Raw (1, 2) and an entertaining few weeks of WWE Superstars (1, 2), it was inevitable that those two paths would cross, and they have, in the form of both a match made for this Sunday’s Fatal Four-Way PPV and a tag team match tonight.

This Sunday, Eve Torres will be defending her Divas Championship in a fatal four-way against Maryse, Gail Kim, and Alicia Fox. This, in a sense, is converging two parties that are on opposite paths: Eve and Maryse, whose feud is treading serious water, and Gail and Alicia, whose match last week was more entertaining than anything going on in the Divas Championship feud. Likely, this was just becuase of the “fatal four-way” theme of the event, but I’d like ot think that the WWE was impressed with Gail and Alicia’s work and wanted to reward them. If that’s the case, they certainly didn’t show that tonight, as Gail teamed with Eve and Alicia teamed with Maryse for some tag team action:

Before the match can begin, Maryse gets a shove in on Eve and skirts away before she can retaliate. She decides to start the match for her team, though, and gets a leg up on Eve with a series of forearms that back her into the ropes. Once she lets go, Eve kicks her in the stomach and slams her to the mat by her head. She runs the ropes, but Alicia stops her by grabbing a fistful of hair. Eve turns and takes a wild swing at her, but Alicia manages to stay out of reach. The moment Eve turns back around, Maryse nails her with a wild kick, hitting her square in the neck. She attempts a pin, but Eve kicks out at 2.

She tags in Alicia, and they double-team Eve with a face plant. Alicia goes for another pin, but Eve kicks out a 2 again. Alicia hits a suplex that she bridges into a pin, getting a 2-count. Showing considerably more frustration than Maryse, Alicia pounds Eve’s head a bit and jams her knee into the side of it. She has some words (or rather, just a look) with the referee before snapping Eve up in a sleeper hold. She holds onto the move aggressively, practically mounted on Eve’s back. Eve manages to fight out with some wild elbows, but before she can truly free herself Alicia slams her down.

Alicia drags her by the hair to her corner, tagging in Maryse. Alicia holds Eve prone while Maryse lays a kick into her midsection. She grabs Eve by the hair and slams her face to the mat. Apparently, this is enough for her, and she tags Alicia back in, holding Eve up for a kick from Alicia.

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Raw Response: June 14th, 2010

Tonight’s Raw is hosted by “Royal Pains” star Mark Feuerstein. Tune in at 9pm EST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments! Also, be sure to join us for The Post-Raw Show live at 11pm ET.