Thursday, December 1, 2022

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Get Out Your Ban Hammers!

Hey guys! This is Steven, one of the infamous “Funky Four”. Congrats to my fellow interns. I look forward to the coming week of blogging. But anyhoo, on to the main event.

As many of you know a few months back, WWE banned Michelle McCool from using the Wings of Love. While it was one of the most devastating finishers we’ve seen from a Diva since The Widow Peak, WWE deemed it ‘too hard on’ (or too similar to The Pedigree) for the Divas. That being said, I think there are a few more finishing moves in the realm of women’s wrestling that need to be banned for various reasons.

FFG (Flying Firecrotch Guillotine): Christy Hemme
The name says it all. This has to be one of the most laughable excuses for a finisher I’ve seen in a while. I truly thought that the name was a joke. Nope, that’s really what it’s called. If you’re not familiar with this move, it involves lifting your leg over your head, while on the turnbuckle and dropping into a full split on someone’s neck/face.

Not only does this finisher seem painful to execute, but it has to hurt the opponent’s pride to know that they’ve been beaten by such a ridiculous move.

And last but not least, why would you put the word ‘Firecrotch’ in the name of your signature move. Its just not very flattering. If your crotch is on fire, you should see a doctor and you DEFINATELY shouldn’t have it near anyone’s face.

Faith Breaker: Michelle McCool
I know that all wrestlers get their moveset from somewhere and a lot of wrestlers share moves. However, maybe it wasn’t a good idea for Michelle to pick a finisher from a prominant TNA wrestler and make it her own. It wouldn’t be so bad if AJ Styles wasn’t the ONLY wrestler to use that move. WWE better ban that too before AJ hires a lawyer.

Various Rollups: Every Diva EVER!
If I have to see another damn rollup to finish a match, I’m going to scream. Once in a while is okay, but it seems like every other Divas’ match these days end with some variation of a Sunset Flip or Schoolboy pin. Honestly ladies, go for high risk or maybe a submission, but leave the rollups alone.

You guys know any more moves that should be banned? Let us know in the comments!

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