Sunday, June 23, 2024

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NXT Lay-Kav-Ool Watch (June 20th, 2010): Kaval Speaks On The Mic. Reminds Me Of The Old Spice Guy While Doing So.

In a tragic twist of events, the adorable NXT trio affectionately known as Lay-Kav-Ool (Layla, Kaval, and Michelle McCool) played no real part in the show last week due to the presence of the dastardly (and oh so sexy) Nexus and the absence of Laycool. It was a dark, dark day in NXT history and I had high hopes that this week would bring about a well deserved does of awesomeness. That didn’t really happen and it’s unfortunate because an elimination is coming next week and the last thing we want to see is Kaval sent packing. One thing I did discover during this week’s episode is that Kaval’s deep voice reminds me of the Old Spice guy from the new commercials. For those of you who don’t know the Old Spice guy, go YouTube Old Spice “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like.” It’s television commercial brilliance if I do say so myself.

skip ahead to 4:13

The Kaval portion of NXT sure did take it’s time getting here tonight and it’s very sad that he had to share the stage with that freak, Eli Cottonwood. If Cottonwood doesn’t go home next week, then there’s no justice in this world. Now the reason why Eli, Kaval, and their pros are on stage is because throughout the show, NXT host, the delicious Matt Striker, has been asking all of them why their guy should be number one in next week’s NXT poll. Kaval is the second to last one to speak, but before we could enjoy him, we had to suffer through Eli Cottonwood’s promo first. Laycool begin to boo as John Morrison begins to speak on behalf of his rookie. I can’t blame them for booing because whenever you begin a sentence with “Last week I was sitting in the airport eating a breakfast burrito…” you know this is automatically going to be a fail. But according to Morrison, while he was eating that darn breakfast burrito, the NXT rookies all walked by him. A little kid who was sitting close to Morrison asked his mother who the big tall guy was. Morrison just found it oh so amazing that out of all the rookies, the little kid would pick out Eli Cottonwood. Morrison says he feels as if Eli could be the long term investment and that he keeps learning and improving.

Sorry, JoMo. That’s still not enough reason to vote for Eli especially since I just realized he has the same stupid facial expression as my ex-thing (not worthy enough for the title of “boyfriend.”) I kind of want to scream right now. Ugh.

Eli takes the microphone and goes over to Matty and asks him who he is going to vote for. He gets all up in Striker’s grill and demands to know who Striker is going to vote for. Matt finally agrees to vote for Eli, and then Eli starts to go off on some tangent about how no one is more intimidating that he is. Thankfully, Striker cuts him off and goes to Laycool.

Kaval is standing in front of the girls to protect them from the scary monster and it’s so cute. He looks ready to kick Eli’s ass! Finally, everything calms down and Lay-Kav-Ool flash their million dollar smiles at the camera. They’re all ready for their close-ups. Michelle says Kaval should be number one for a lot of reasons. The girls say he has the passion, he has the heart, he has the skills, and he has the smarts. Michelle adds that Kaval also has one thing that no other rookie has. Then both girls say “US!” That fact alone makes Kaval almost “Flawless!” Striker doesn’t even know what to say. He turns to Kaval.

Kaval gives his girls an adorable little smile and thanks them for their amazing endorsement. They clap and cheer, and Layla even blows kisses at Kaval. This is so freakin’ cute it’s killing me. Kaval turns to the crowd and says that we should vote for him because he has the talent to go toe to toe with all the greats in the WWE. He says that he is more than willing to go against Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, and Evan Bourne because he is just that talented, but in order for it to happen, we have to utilize our power and vote. Michelle and Layla start clapping and cheering again, and they basically push Striker out of the way to get to their man. Layla and Michelle greet Kaval with kisses and hugs, and my goodness! Layla and Kaval are the cutest little couple (sorry Eric!).

The rookie obstacle course is next!

The first competitor is Michael McGillicutty but before the competition begins, Kofi Kingston and Michael are both given a chance to plead Michael’s case. Kofi’s promo is a hot mess because at the end he dubs all of Michael’s fans “McGillibuddies”. Womp womp. McGillicutty is laughing and he seems to like that nickname for whatever reason. He talks about his perfect record and how he is the perfect choice to win. He encourages everyone to vote for him because basically he is the best rookie on NXT.

With that being said, the competition officially begins. It’s pointless to sit here and write it all out (especially when there’s a video) but the highlights include the fact that only Kaval seems to know what a push-up is, Eli being disqualified, Laycool loving on Kaval once he finished, and Husky Harris just barreling through one of the walls. McGillicutty ended up winning the challenge and no matter where he’s at in the poll next week, he can not be eliminated. The finishing order, including Striker’s time from earlier purely for shits and giggles, is as follows:

Michael McGillicutty: 26.7
Lucky Cannon: 28.2
Kaval: 29. 1
Percy Watson: 31.5
Alex Riley: 40.3
Matt Striker: 41.5
Husky Harris: 50.3
Eli Cottonwood: Disqualified

– Before NXT officially began tonight, a video that was taped earlier was aired and it featured my favorite fantasy, Matt Striker! He is running through the complicated obstacle course that we’re going to see the rookies compete in later. He finishes it in like forty one seconds, and looks completely winded afterward. Excuse me while I go make sure he has plenty of fluids.

– MVP’s talk show is the first thing up. He kicks us off in not so grand fashion and says he is having an issue with his guest tonight; “Showtime” Percy Watson. MVP wants to address what happened last week on Percy’s talk show. MVP looks kind of pissy. MVP says what Percy attempted to do last week took initiative. He wasn’t happy but when he thought about it, he and Percy are a lot a like. A few years ago, MVP would have done what Percy had done. Percy says he respects MVP and all that stuff, and they basically make nice with each other. MVP and Percy decide it’s time to celebrate. Matt Striker’s theme music hits and he tells the two in the ring that next week, there will be an elimination and tells them to tell the Universe why Percy should be ranked number one next week.

MVP goes first and says that in order to be a WWE superstar, you have to be the complete package. He says that Percy has all the tools that make up a great superstar but Striker shouldn’t be asking him. He should be asking the WWE Universe. So MVP asks the Universe if Percy Watson is the next breakout star and believe it or not, he gets more jeers than cheers. Finally people are starting to see the light and how ridiculous this guy is.

Unfortunately, Percy gets to plead his own case as well and he starts to speak. Percy says something along the lines of him being a heavy hitter, a go-getter, and that he never quits. “Do you know what I’m sayin’?” No, Percy I don’t know what your saying because I don’t speak stupid, but whatever. He gives us some sob story that no one really cares about (except Bobby Lea Burchill =P) and thankfully Striker wraps it up.

“Dashing” (gag) Cody Rhodes and Husky Harris walk out. Striker asks them the same question, basically. Cody says Husky could use some grooming advice because he looks like all the gross fans in Little Rock, Arkansas. He says that people should vote for Husky because he makes a good representative for the people. He says that Husky weighs three hundred pounds and then he asks a lady in the audience if she weights three hundred pounds as well. Cody says that Husky is an army tank with a Ferrari engine. Husky takes the microphone next and says the WWE has only been filled with bodybuilders and six packs for the last few years and that’s definitely not Husky. He doesn’t sing and dance, then he ends up screwing up his promo. I reckon someone had to botch their lines tonight since Ashley Valence wasn’t on the show.

That segment leads into a match between the Rhodes/Harris combination and the MVP/Watson combo.

– A video package featuring the Pretty One is aired. The pros aren’t as high on Lucky Cannon as I would have thought. They all agree he has the looks, size, and athletic background, but they bash him for having no personality. The Miz even says he is forgettable.

– Husky and Percy begin the match with the early advantage going to Percy. Percy shows off some nice mat wrestling skills before going to the ropes and letting MVP tag himself in. MVP takes charge and works over Husky for a little bit. He then goes back to the ropes and Percy tags himself in. Husky isn’t really faring well in this match, but to his credit, he finally gets the tag to Cody. Percy ends up getting in trouble with Rhodes, and Cody finally makes the tag to his rookie. Husky ends up getting owned again and slithers to the outside of the ring. Percy follows him and the two men begin to brawl on the outside of the ring. Cody and MVP break it up but MVP ends up bitchslapping Cody a la R-Truth to Ted DiBiase. Cody isn’t to happy and the two are arguing as NXT goes to commercial break.

Cody and Percy are in the ring when the show returns. Cody is in firm control of the rookie but Percy manages to hit a few moves here and there. Cody ends up taunting MVP and then makes the tag to Husky. Husky actually gets to go on offense this time but it doesn’t last long and he has to tag his pro. Percy makes the tag to MVP as well, and the two WWE superstars go at it. Cody ends up putting away MVP but he tags in Husky and the former Troy University football player gets a much needed victory.

– After that match, Michael Cole and Josh Mathews set up a video package featuring the four and oh Michael McGillicutty. The pros love the fact that Michael seems to enjoy what he’s doing and they admire his passion. Laycool even dub him “as close to perfect as you can get.” Zack Ryder chimes in that he sees McGillicutty being the only rookie that could possibly win. It’s not all a lovefest, however. Rhodes says that leap frogs, arm drags, and drop kicks aren’t clear representatives of the ruthless aggression McGillicutty has spoken about bringing back. Morrison slams the kid’s personality. The Miz says that McGillicutty is to cocky, among other things that are pretty hilarious. To sum it all up, McGillicutty ends up getting even more of a mixed reaction than Lucky. Very interesting.

– Lucky Cannon versus Alex Riley is the second match of the evening, and our poor Lucky doesn’t have his pro with him tonight. Apparently, Wade Barrett was just to much for Mark Henry last night. I wish someone would have told me because I would have gladly accompanied Lucky to the ring. Perhaps if I could have done that, then I could have rescued him from the doom that was awaiting him. But anyway! Matty asks Lucky why he should be ranked number one. Lucky cuts a pretty sappy promo He says he isn’t going to waste our time trying to tell us why he is the best or why he deserves it more than anyone. That’s just a matter of opinion. But what Lucky is going to do is tell us how he has been having the time of his life for the past month and he doesn’t want it to end. He thanks everyone who has supported him and just proves that without a shadow of a doubt, he is the prettiest person to ever grace NXT.

Once Cannon is done, Alex Riley takes over. He cuts an excellent promo and tells all of us that the NXT competition shouldn’t be based on the relationship between the rookies and the fans. He says that he doesn’t like the fans and that he’s fine with the fact the fans don’t like him. He says the competition should be about the WWE and who should be running it. Alex says that he knows the fans care about the WWE because he sees them in the arena and knows that they’re watching at home. He tells all of us to do the right thing and vote for Alex Riley. The Miz gets on the microphone and decides that, simply put, all of us should vote for Alex Riley because the future WWE Champion said so. Alrighty then!

Anyway, they do have an actual match and it’s pretty short. Riley starts off on the offense, but Lucky quickly turns it around with some flashy, yet powerful moves. Lucky connects with a big boot to Riley’s kisser and goes for the pin, but he only gets a two count. He goes to the outside of the ring and goes for a high risk move, but he misses because Riley is able to get out of the way.

Random thought: How adorable is Miz, on the outside of the ring, screaming at his long lost brother to get up and move? I’m just sayin’…

Riley ends up getting the victory, thanks to Lucky’s miss, and he and Miz celebrate his victory. Once they get out of the ring, The Miz hands over his United States Championship to Riley. He rushes the ring and starts to beat the tar out of Lucky Cannon, nailing him with the Money in the Bank briefcase. To make matters worse for the pro-less Pretty One, The Miz lays out the briefcase and smashes Lucky into it via The Skull Crushing Finale. So sad.

Overall, it wasn’t a bad show. But for Kaval, it wasn’t beneficiary. He’s the reigning number one and I feel as if the WWE has done nothing to capitalize on that. I don’t wanna freak out and jump to the conclusion that this is going to be another Daniel Bryan situation, but when you have your number one ranked rookie losing in a dark match to a nobody we have problems. I really hope the fans get behind Kaval and vote for him. He doesn’t need to get eliminated right now. Plus, I don’t want to be out of a Tuesday night job!

Alex Riley continues to impress me on the mic, and in the ring. He’s really the total package this season. He has a little bit of everything. I agree with the pros on what they’ve said about McGillicutty and Cannon. McGillicutty is far to cocky and to be honest, I don’t like him near as much as I liked his father. Mr. Perfect is one of the all-time greats. He probably had the most entertaining promos ever. Even when he had his awful “Rap is Crap” gimmick in WCW, Mr. Perfect was still the man. If Michael can develop some charisma and personality, then maybe he has a chance of becoming a memorable superstar, but at this point I’m just not sold. As pretty as Lucky is, he doesn’t stand out for me. He’s like a gorgeous, Greek God version of Skip Sheffield in the sense that he doesn’t really bring anything to the table. Fortunately for Lucky, he is pretty so unlike Sheffield, at least Lucky won’t have any problems getting laid.

The Lay-Kav-Ool interaction was spot on tonight. I love those three and if I had it may way, this relationship would continue on even after NXT is done. My hope is for this group of rookies to end up on Smackdown and basically attempt to do what the Nexus has done. But Kaval should be the lone hold out and it’s because of his relationship with Michelle and Layla. Kaval could eventually end up leading the revolution against the Season 2 rookies a la John Cena on Raw, and Laycool could remain at his side and become the biggest face divas on the Smackdown side. Will that happen? Absolutely not. But I’m still stuck in my Post Raw Show roleplaying game. Anyway, elimination next week. I predict either Eli Cottonwood or Husky Harris to go.

Until next week, Cryssi out!

PS. I want to give a special thanks to David Lavera who emailed me the times of the competitors in the obstacle course, and included Striker’s. Thanks so much David! =)

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