Friday, April 12, 2024

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One-Trick Ponies or Beating a Dead Horse? Pick Your Equine Metaphor.

Brie Bella & Nikki Bella in “Yin & Yang”

We’re debuting a new format for our Eye Candy posts – complete with more detailed critiques and “graded” categories. View the photoshoot we’ve “hung” on our wall, read our critique, vote, and last but not least – sound off in the comments!

The Look: The Bellas are going with a very simple look this go-round. The silk robe-and-heels combo has been seen many a time in the WWE, but moreso in bikini contests and the like. In a photoshoot, it looks a bit cheesy and put-on, especially with the obsession the WWE has with doing the “same-yet-different” thing with the Bellas. It doesn’t look very good, even more so when the Bellas don’t “work” the look. They’re just standing there, relying on the “she’s wearing black and I’m wearing white” schtick to do the work. As a twin, I grew out of that when I stopped letting my mother dress me – it’s not cute nor (as they’re obviously going for) sexy. Their hair and makeup are a lot better – they make the girls look gorgeous and natural in a way the clothes don’t. Grade: B-

The Poses: Like I said, the Bellas aren’t doing much other than standing next to one another. Though, they’re obviously trying to invent some new dual poses – look at that awkward crane pose they’ve got going on in the middle! Now that’s revolutionary! But seriously, I know there’s only so much posing you can do in a double-Diva photoshoot, and since they’ve had so many, I’d understandable that the Bellas are running low on creativity juices. However, when that’s all the WWE is marketing you on (OMG there’s two of them!!11), you could muster up a little bit more than 5 variations of a “back-to-back” pose. This just makes them look they have zero personality and delivers them dangerously close to “Fembot” territory. They’re two sets of machine-gun breasts away from becoming Austin Powers villains. Grade: C

Uniqueness: I’ve said this a few times already in the post, but it doesn’t hurt to reiterate – the Bella’s are practically one-trick ponies at this point. They’re here to do the “two chicks that look alike” thing, and I doubt the WWE has much else planned for them. I mean, look at how much they invested in the feud they started and erased in a matters of weeks! I’m sure has plenty of dual photoshoots done and ready to upload, so there’s probably even more of this tired gimmick to come. Hooray! Grade: D

Overall: The Bellas are pretty much a package deal, so I realize it’s too much to hope for separate shoots and personalities. Still, they can do much better. With the robes, high heels, and teased hair it doesn’t get more try-hard than this. Grade: C

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