Friday, July 1, 2022

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Raw Redux (January 23rd, 2012): Eve Plays the Blame Game, Naomi & Cameron Bring the Funk!

Why hello again, it is I, Bobby, and before you all accuse me of Redux hijacking I will inform you that Cryssi is not feeling her very best. Besides, I would never hijack Khaleesi’s Redux when that HHH (Husky Harris Hating) team member named Steven is an option. But enough introduction, let’s get on to this week’s showing from the flagship show of the WWE. We did not have a match involving the females, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t get some nice character development from Eve, as well as one of my personal highlights in the entire company, Planet Funk, consisting of Brodus Clay, Naomi, and Cameron graced us with their presence this evening. What are we waiting for? Let’s jump right into the fun.

… Did you really think I could force myself to type about anything but this first?

We head out to the arena as the angelic voices of both Cameron and Naomi introduce Brodus Clay to the ring as the only living… breathing… romping, stomping… Funkasaurus in captivity! His addictive music hits, as the two lovely ladies make their way out to the ring doing their finest dancing! They clap along with the music, as do I, and proceed to skip their way down to the ring making phone motions as they request for you to call his mama! Brodus walks down with them in a snazzy new white suit as he makes dinosaur claw motions to the screen, while they hold the ropes open for him to enter. As he brings the house down with his moves, the trio proceed to slide across the ring with some added dance steps. Once I’m able to settle down from imitating the entire act on my own floor, they pose as pyro goes off and we spot William Regal on commentary!

From there, we see Brodus’ prey for this evening, and it’s finally someone that pleases me to see dismantled… Heath Slater! He rudely cackles at Brodus and his dance troupe, before entering the ring and viewing as Brodus shakes his rump. Heath tries to run off the ropes, but he charges right into a brick wall as he crashes to the mat in pain. William Regal compares Brodus’ dancing to a walrus giving birth, which sparks me to pause the video and take time out to laugh, before continuing on as Heath hits a dropkick to absolutely no effect. He taunts the crowd before falling victim to a running splash by Brodus, who continues it up with the Shee-Plex! Clay runs forward with another splash into the corner, before coming off the ropes with his patented charging crossbody for the victory! Naomi and Cameron once again climb into the ring, as Brodus lets the ladies get some solo’s to the millions watching. William Regal claims that he could do things to Cameron and Naomi (which is still surreal to finally hear said on TV) as we end this miraculous segment with the three of them moving around the ring.

Skip to 08:05

As Zack Ryder and Kane battle it out in a lengthy match which sees Zack’s “friend”, Eve Torres come down to ringside and try to will him on, we spot the two on the stage in which Zack is basically dead weight from taking such a beating. Kane lifts him up and proceeds to BRUTALLY chokeslam him through the stage. Eve can be heard screaming hysterically, as she walks over and tries to cope with what has just happened. Suddenly, Kane turns his attention to her as she quickly tries to run back away from him! She manages to step to the side of the ring, when John Cena walks out and somehow causes Kane to escape through the crowd. Eve runs back up the ramp to help check on Zack, who looks to be pretty much incapacitated.

A medical crew proceeds to stretcher Zack out of the building, which sees both Eve and John Cena following close behind watching in fear at their fallen friend. Once the team loads Zack into the ambulance (quick shout out to Kelly Kelly and the Bella Twins on a brief Raw appearance), the cameras focus on Eve and John, as she tells Cena this is all his fault! John tries to tell her he didn’t cause this, but she doesn’t let him continue as she cuts him off and says he’s done enough already. She tells the main eventer that SHE will be riding with Zack, not him, before climbing into the ambulance and leaving Cena to watch in agony as it rides away. Josh Matthews attempts to approach him with a question, but Cena shoves the microphone back and makes a weird looking face that screams constipation… but I digress. This segment comes to a close as our terrified philanthropist hopefully manages to help Zack not be seriously injured.

Thoughts: While there wasn’t a match, I thought Eve did great in her role tonight. Some may have questioned her acting, but I don’t know, I thought she did well in telling Cena that it was all his fault, and it’s remarkable to see a Diva being given air time with undoubtedly the top star the company has. She’s certainly being more focused on in this program, and that’s definitely a good thing. I’m intrigued to see if this leads to her turning heel any time soon, or whether or not it’s just adding fuel to the fire for Cena to make the turn with having his friends blaming him for stuff when he was only trying to help. I don’t know what’s coming next in this angle, and to be honest, that’s a good thing.

Funkasaurus… Oh, what can I say? I’ve worshiped this stable since the first second that disco music hit the sound system three weeks ago, and it’s finally given me something I can look forward to seeing every week. The crowd seems to be getting behind them, and judging from the fact they have been given time on BOTH shows, I’d say it’s definitely catching on backstage! Seeing Naomi and Cameron on TV is great for me since I overly love both of them, and I really hope they transition into the ring after the crowd gets to know them more because I think they would definitely be impressed with what they see. Naomi is insanely talented, and Cameron is already showing a great improvement down at FCW, so things can only go up for them. I’d take this over either debuting in an already (unfortunately) fledgling Divas division any day of the week.

Speaking of which, it is kind of a bummer to not see a match tonight. I know that it probably would’ve been forty seconds (counting entrances) but I wish they would’ve thrown something out there. This is now the fifth week of not seeing the Divas Champion on Raw, which really seems suspicious to me, but never the less, perhaps next week the females will get some ring time on the show. With that being said, tonight’s Raw was a nice showing for the Divas in terms of character progression, especially Eve, but not so great in the sense that they didn’t get any sort of action, especially after last week’s “highly publicized” angle.

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