Friday, September 30, 2022

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SmackDown Redux (June 13th, 2014): Alicia Sends Aksana Packing, Summer Goes Attacking

What’s up Diva fans and welcome to this week’s SmackDown Redux. It’s been an eternity since I stepped in Steven’s shoes and brought you the fun and frolics of WWE’s ‘B’ show yet I had to make an exception this week. I know how all the readers would be devastated if I didn’t write-up Aksana‘s last match so out of the goodness of my heart, I volunteered to do this week’s SmackDown and here I am.

In addition to the implosion of FoxSana, a main-roster Diva also joins Adam Rose‘s party posse in a bid to get one over on Layla. I think I’ve already given the game away so without further ado, let’s get cracking!

TO THE VIDEO!

Our first Divas sighting of the night is of the English Muffin Layla, who is dancing alongside her stud muffin, Fandango. Aaw, muffin love. After Fandango loses to Adam Rose, one of his Rosebuds stays behind and it pays a remarkable resemblance to the Gobbledy Gooker. The rooster like party-goer has its eyes set on Layla. I’m praying right now that Maryse has donned the outfit for another classic moment.

Summer Rae is revealed as the mysterious fowl and even if you were unsure at first due to the blonde hair, it is obvious it’s Summer as she took the outfit off in about 2 seconds as opposed to Maryse’s five hours and 42 minutes. Summer goes crazy on Layla and these two are ripping at those weaves!

Summer also appeared on WWE Backstage Fallout with Renee Young. Sassiness to the absolute maximum on display! I kind of smelled some babyface behaviour yet at the same time Summer came across heel-ish as well. Tweeners really confuse me! What didn’t confuse me in any way though was Renee. Solid work from her yet again.

Later in the night, it’s time for our match as we see Aksana, ready to return to the land of the shovels (HA!), faces the cray Alicia Fox. Watch your eye sockets Alicia. Also, I am praying I don’t have to see the sexy crawl one more time. Please Neysus, I am begging you.

Alicia starts the match hoping for a handshake yet fair play to Aksana, she’s no idiot and slaps Alicia in the face and gets right to business. The unemployed Lithuanian hits some clotheslines, a kick to the gut and a suplex, all without injuring someone. I am flabbergasted. Aksana keeps on the offensive, drilling some elbows into the chest of her former friend.

Following a cover, the pair get back to a vertical base. Alicia drills Aksana with a forearm but her brief amount of luck runs out as she misses a Scissors Kick and gets hit with a nice Divo Drop. See people, I described it as a nice. I can be complimentary! Unluckily for Aksana though, she can only get a two count.

Aksana then goes for a big splash randomly and she seems to jump awkwardly. The move doesn’t pay off as Alicia gets her knees up and kicks Aksana before hitting her gorgeous Northern Lights Suplex. It’s not enough to get the win so Alicia tries going for a submission instead. She locks in a lengthy chinlock (yawn!) until Aksana breaks out by squashing Alicia in the corner. Alicia fights right back though, hitting what I would describe as a Spiked Leg Lariat for the win. Alicia then starts high-fiving Aksana’s lifeless body. Hilarious!

Thoughts: Aksana went out with a very competent performance. The match was quite enjoyable and I especially liked Alicia’s potential new finisher and her side-splitting aftermath.

Now onto the Lithuanian elephant in the room, this was Aksana’s last match. A woman who I have had it in for for quite some time was released earlier this week. Let’s be serious, I’ve thrown a lot of shade towards Aksana and whilst she was in my opinion, and in Chris Jericho‘s opinion (thanks for having my back Y2J), bad in the ring, no one deserves to be living their dream one minute and then on the unemployment line the next.

Aksana showed week after week that she had a lot of charisma and at times, she was really comical. It is a real shame she wasn’t able to shine more in a comedic managerial role as I feel she would have excelled at that. Even better, WWE should have kept her hair blonde and brought The Aksana Show to the main roster. That stuff was gold.

I’m going to leave you with the funniest Aksana moment ever. No sarcasm at all, I absolutely loved Aksana doing this. This is her infamous Aksana Show with her guests Mason Ryan and Bo Dallas, then known as Bo Rotundo. The graphics are cheap, Mason’s acting is utterly horrendous (“The future is Mason Ryan.” HA, I don’t think so) yet Aksana shines through.

“WHATCHU GONNA SAY?”

Best of luck Zivile, you provided some fun comedic moments! Naomi, you can now sleep well at night.

And with that, stay tuned, Jack will be back!

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