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The Round-Up – March 23, 2008

Get this week’s Diva news rounded up… with commentary! This week we discuss TNA Knockout drama, Lita‘s WWE snub, WrestleMania weather, Candice’s injury, the SmackDown! Diva contest and much more!

• Maria: “I’m Still a Baby” – Maria spoke to the Winnipeg Sun, touching on a (uncomfortable) array of topics, jumping from an encounter with her father to discussing how Playboy has pursued her since she was a teenager. In a possible sign of coercion, (In the WWE? No way!) Maria claimed that “They approached me again and I turned them down again, but WWE came to me two weeks later and said it would be good for me to do it.” Yay for feminism! Click here for the full interview.

Erin – Sounds about right to me. I love how the annual Playboy storyline centers on the “It’s my choice!” mantra, and behind the scenes, they couldn’t contradict themselves more. Does “good for you” translate to “it’ll make you slightly relevant for a few weeks”? Because someone needs to tell them that Playboy’s past its sell date and it’s not really worth the effort anymore.

Melanie – The amount of press Maria has been doing lately is kind of mind-numbing. WWE has really pushed for Maria’s Playboy media-wise, as opposed to Ashley last year. Maybe because no one has a clue what Ashley says half the time? Either way, I can’t wait for this debacle to be over so Maria can sit her ass back down.

• Brooke Forgives Father for “Hulk Smashing” Her Friend – Brooke Hogan, through a post on her MySpace blog, gives reason to believe that she has forgiven her father (Hulk Hogan, of course) for alleged sexual misconduct involving one of her friends (who is quite a few years older than Brooke, so it’s not as creepy as you’d think). She says, “Nothing is thicker than blood. No matter how angry, sad or depressed you are, your family will always love you no matter what. We are all human. Yes, I’m still hurting very deeply inside, but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.” It’s not much fun to be a Hogan these days, given this, Nick’s troubles, the divorce, and the bomb that was American Gladiators. Click here to read the full story.

Erin – It’s all very seedy, but I’m glad she’s coming out of this alright. What with all the trouble her family has had as of late, the girl deserves a break. At least she’s not illegally drag racing and cheating on her (hypothetical) wife. The blogs like to pick on her, but I think this is the time they might want to lighten up on her a bit.

Melanie – Erin wrote this! I don’t consider Brooke a Diva, per se. Anyway, American Gladiators was actually a big ratings winner. That’s all I have to say about this issue lol!

• Lita Talks About the Luchagors and Leaping on Fans – Lita spoke with the Journal Gazette about her post-retirement gig of fronting a punk rock band. She equates it to wrestling, saying, “I’m definitely pretty physical and crazy and love playing off of people. I’ll have people I know are wrestling fans and I’ll take full advantage and jump on them in the middle of a song.” Click here to read the full story.

Erin – I’m glad she’s moved on, since it’s pretty clear that the WWE didn’t know what to do with her near the end of her career. She went from one of the biggest draws the WWE had to Edge’s bitchy shadow within months. Now, if only we could erase the past few months of her WWE tenure, I’d be satisfied. Personally, I’m stuck in the summer of 2001, where Lita and the Hardy Boyz were the greatest thing a pre-teen me had ever seen.

Melanie – Lita does nothing for me, except bore me to tears. She wasn’t the most amazing wrestler and she is far from the most amazing singer, Cassie could outsing her in five seconds flat and that’s saying something.

• And Then There Were Three – It’s gotten down to the wire in the SmackDown Diva Competition, with Eve, Cherry, and Michelle battling it out for the top spot. Click here for the most recent details on the competition.

Erin – I’ll be honest – I haven’t been keeping up with this. What does the winner get? A Women’s Ti- oh wait.. They don’t have one of those. Maybe a neat WWE Magazine spread or something? Help me out here…

Melanie – I haven’t been following either, but I certainly think there’s something fishy going on here. I wouldn’t be surprised if WWE rigged the votes here because as great a heel as she is, fans love Victoria and if the votes were of compeletly free will, none of these girls would stand a chance against her. WWE probably saw that as a problem and nixed her.

• 30% Chance of Rain for Outdoor WrestleMania 24 – According to, there’s a 30% chance that WrestleMania 24 could get a little soggy. It’ll likely waver as the week progresses, but come on – wouldn’t it be fun to see Triple H & co. play slip-n-slide in the ring? Click here for the full forecast.

Erin – Chances are I’ll be there, so I’ll probably bring a poncho. I still have a snazzy Disney World one with Mickey Mouse on the back. You know, keeping with the “Florida” theme.

Melanie – Somebody better warn Ashley, she may injure herself!

• Candice’s WrestleMania Woes – Candice has vowed she will battle through her injury and compete this Sunday in the BunnyMania match. Meanwhile her tag team partner has said that she’s re-injured her broken clavicle. Could the BunnyMania match be in dire straits?

Erin – It’s been in dire straights since the very beginning IMO. It’s actually getting better at the prospect that Mickie may replace Candice. Not to wish Candice ill will, but, you know, don’t strain yourself, Candice.

Melanie – Like I said earlier this week, I hate to wish ill on anyone but for the sake of a decent women’s match at ‘Mania, I hope Candice can’t make it. That said, get better soon!

• Torrie Returns – Torrie Wilson has announced that she will be returning to WWE for ‘Mania weekend, though it isn’t likely to mark her full-time return. Torrie will be doing an autograph signing with Mickie James on Friday and be at the Hall of Fame ceremony and ‘Mania.

Erin – I guess you have to crawl before you walk. She’ll eventually get back into it, and Mania’s the best time to make a comeback, even if it’s just to stand at ringside. It’s a pretty big stage to show everyone that you’re back on the scene. She should make a statement, like turning heel and helping Melina and Beth win. ;P

Melanie – No one is happier to hear this news than I am! Like I wrote above, it’s unlikely to mark her full-time return but all WWE talent always attends ‘Mania even with injuries, which is pretty much the deal here. That said, I truly hope Torrie gets a cameo on the show because it’d be heartbreaking to see her miss what would be her sixth consecutive ‘Mania appearance.

• Lita Snubs WWE – Amy “Lita” Dumas rejected an offer from WWE to be interviewed on the new Hardy Boyz DVD, due for release in May.

Erin – Well, that sucks. She must be still scorned by the way they publicized her and Matt’s breakup. I’d feel awkward too, but Team Extreme was a big deal back in the day, and I don’t think I’d pass on that. To each their own, I guess.

Melanie – I can understand why she chose not to, but for the fans it’s a big shame. The whole “Team Xtreme” phenomenom… well it was just that, a phenomenom. It almost doesn’t seem right to have that portion of the boys’ career highlighted on the DVD without Lita adding her two cents too. Plus, it could’ve been a big payday for her – I doubt she’s making much from her latest whim.

• It’s a Knockout… Literally – Reports of in-fighting among the Knockouts of TNA broke on the ‘net this week, with Gail Kim, Christy Hemme and Traci Brooks cited as the source of the problems. Traci reportedly berated Velvet Sky over a match with Gail Kim that was taped for iMPACT! Sky refuted the claims in a MySpace blog.

Erin – What are they complaining for? They have it much better than the WWE Divas do. They’re treated with more respect and are given more time on the shows. I guess cattiness thrives everywhere.

Melanie – I wrote a little about this during the week when it broke out, I’m taking Sky’s version of the story over the “newz site” reports. However, if there’s any shred of truth to the rumours I’ll be utterly disappointed. I wrote earlier in the week: “When you’re getting on TV every week and being able to showcase your talents unlike your WWE counterparts, it’s all good in the hood and you should have nothing to complain about backstage.” I still stand by that!

• Video Game Vixens – Ashley, Beth Phoenix, Layla and Michelle McCool will be part of the sixth annual THQ Superstar Challenge this week. Beth will challenge Michelle and Ashley will challenge Layla.

Erin – Given that most of those girls have characters in the game, who will they be playing as? Personally, I’d play as Triple H. If it’s anything like real life, you could never lose. I’d murder the competition!

Melanie – Will Ashley be able to battle without straining her wrist? I voted for Beth to win this thing earlier in the week, I definitely think it’s between her and Layla.

• Michelle’s Wings of Love – In her latest column, Michelle named her new finishing move the “Wings of Love”, she also gushed over it being named WWE Magazine’s hottest new finisher.

Erin – It’s a badass finisher, but I’m not a fan of the name. I get the “wings” part, but “love”? That’s a bit of a stretch. Spreading messages of love probably falls on deaf ears in the wrestling ring.

Melanie – Reading Michelle’s over-excited comments on being voted hottest new finisher, you’d think she’d just won an Oscar. Newsflash Michelle – it’s not like they have a “Hottest New Finisher” award every single month, they made it up. Something about that name makes me cringe, it sounds like a bad reality show but makes me want chicken wings at the same time. Well, at least we now know what her VH1 show would be called if she ever called it quits with ‘Taker. That said, it’s a pretty cool move… when Awesome Kong does it.

That’s a wrap for this week’s Round-Up, keep visiting in the coming week for more Diva satire! We’ll be back with another edition of the Round-Up next week!

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