Wednesday, February 28, 2024

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Trick or Treat! Going Halloween Costume Shopping: Part 3

We’re baaack! You may remember us offering costume advice last year to Divas participating in the now-defunct Cyber Sunday Halloween costume contest. Well, we’re extending that tradition this year, extending the love to TNA’s Knockouts as well. We’ll offer costume possibilities to nearly every Diva and Knockout over 3 installments, all leading up to Halloween night. Get your popcorn ready! (Check out part 1 here, and part 2 here.)

Awesome Kong
Costume: Tinkerbell
Why?: 364 days of the year, Kong is an intimidating, destructive force that barely ever cracks a smile. For her Halloween costume, why not go in the complete opposite direction? Tinkerbell, Peter Pan’s fairy companion, is pretty much everything Kong isn’t–dainty, sparkly, girly–but she still can be pretty spiteful when crossed. I guess they’re more alike than I thought! I think it’d be hilarious to see Kong poke fun at her serious image (and we know she doesn’t take herself too seriously–just look at her Twitter page) by putting on the green dress, wings, and slippers, sprinkling pixie dust with her magic wand wherever she goes.
Get the look: Check out this website to see a variety of full Tinkerbell costumes.

Eve Torres
Costume: Sally Jupiter from “Watchmen”
Why?: Eve has a classic look about her, evidenced by some of the retro looks she sports from time to time. Considering all of that, a perfect costume for her would be that of 50’s-era Sally Jupiter–aka Silk Spectre, crime fighter from the “Watchmen” graphic novel and movie adaptation of the same name that was released earlier this year. Sally’s hot and she knows it, but that doesn’t keep her from stopping all kinds of evil-doers. She eventually gave birth to the second Silk Spectre, who eventually picks up where her mother left off, but not nearly with the same sense of style.
Get the look: Try this this costume, even though the wig’s not red. You’ll need to find your own boots and hosiery, though.

Gail Kim
Costume: Max from “Where the Wild Things Are”
Why?: In the book and movie, Max is a little boy who escapes into his imagination, voyaging to an island that inhabits large, wild creatures. With how Gail has been disappointingly treated since her return the WWE, one could suggest that a little escapism is in order for Gail. I mean, after losing to Kelly Kelly, wouldn’t you want to escape? (I’m kidding of course.. Maybe.) Gail would look adorable in Max’s wolf suit, needless to say. Of course, she would need Max’s crown too–what is a king without a crown?
Get the look: Splurge on an adult-sized costume. But at that price, you might end up wearing it year-round like Max.

Read on to see more costume suggestions.

Kelly Kelly
Costume: Barbie
Why?: Kelly’s real name is Barbie, and she practically looks like a famous doll, so it wouldn’t be much of a stretch. I funny twist on it would be to either dress her in a retro Barbie fashion–no hot pink miniskirts here–and have her act like those SNL Barbie sketches, all rigid joints and airheaded-ness. I doubt any other Diva would be better suited to portray her, and I mean that in a good way.
Get the look: To got for the retro Barbie look, put on a retro one-piece swimsuit, style your hair and makeup like a 50’s or 60’s beach bunny, and find some some vintage cat eye sunglasses. Of course, wear an appropriate cover-up–Barbie wouldn’t prance around in public in just a swimsuit, after all. For bonus points, do the SNL thing and walk like you’ve got melded rubber joints.

Costume: The definition of the word “fierce”
Why?: Ever since the word “fierce” has come back into fashion, everyone and their mother uses it to describe things they like or admire, but what does it really mean? Odds are you’ll never find the word with its pop culture definition in the dictionary any time soon, so let’s get Layla to help us out. Her arrogant heel persona would clearly agree with the claim that she is “fierce”, with all that prancing around and vamping in the ring. An easy way to label herself as the very definition of the word would be to simply find a flattering outfit and hang a sign around her neck with “Fierce” scrawled on it. Simple and cheesy, but effective! It’s kind of a throwback to Sunny and Sable‘s level of narcissism.
Get the look: Come on, you don’t need instructions for this one..

Costume: A “she-wolf”
Why?: Melina’s trademark has quickly become her “primal scream”–the shrieking she bellows out before performing a fatal maneuver. In keeping with that animalistic call, Melina could dress as a she-wolf, perhaps in reference to Shakira’s new hit single. This costume would be a bit tricky to pull off, but strategically placed fur (faux, or course!) in the form of a hood, gloves, and boots could get the message across. We don’t need to go for the more literal form, because it’d probably look more like a Wolfman costume, and we don’t need people mistaking her for Benicio Del Toro. As history has proven, Melina’s into the whole customized, homemade costume thing, and this would be right up her ally. Plus, I’m absolutely certain that she could let out a better howl than Shakira.
Get the look: Buy some faux fur by the yard and customize to your liking. Be sure to wear a tattered outfit to compliment the animal theme.

Mickie James
Costume: Rosemary from “Shallow Hal”
Why?: People seem dead set on labeling Mickie as overweight or fat. Honestly, I don’t see it. I’m sure Mickie’s heard a lot of it too, and it can’t feel good. One way to poke fun at herself and stick it in the faces of her critics would be to wear an elaborate fat suit, much like the one Gwyneth Paltrow wore in “Shallow Hal”. Sure, the joke would go over a lot of people’s head and it would possibly be offensive to those who are overweight, but this is Halloween–political correctness isn’t exactly a high priority with this holiday. I say stick it to them, Mickie, and should them how “fat” you really are. This wouldn’t be a Tyra Banks-esque ego-stroking move, just a joke directed at her own image.
Get the look: Pony up some cash for a female fat suit and get dressed! Though, I don’t recommend this outfit for everyone–it’s pretty damn offensive and I only think it would work in the context that Mickie’s would be. But if you’re hell-bent on turning heads, go for it!

Costume: G.I. Joe
Why?: So they made a movie out of the G.I. Joe toy/cartoon this year, and needless to say it wasn’t very good. Channing Tatum as one of the “real American heroes” wasn’t all that heroic. But ODB, in all her raucous, balls-to-the-wall attitude, could certainly pony up more “testosterone” than this move did. She reminds me of some of the tough-as-nails women in those types of movies–the ones that don’t take shit and could drink any man under the table. Whether in the classic form of the updated style, ODB could pull off a G.I. Joe look more convincingly than any Hollywood monotoned pretty boy.
Get the look: This “G.I. gal” costume looks strangely similar to the stuff she usually wrestles in, so this looks like perfect fit. Be sure to carry some fake artillery (and please don’t point it at anyone!) and walk with a purpose.

Costume: Lois Lane from the “Superman” comics, movies, and television shows.
Why?: ECW’s resident backstage interviewer isn’t exactly a reporter, per-se, but she’s the closest Diva we have to Superman’s lady love, Lois Lane. It fits with her Diva role, and it’s easy to pull off–just put on some flattering business wear, have a notepad and pen handy, and be quick with the sassy quips. Oh, and be sure that you’re totally oblivious to the fact that Clark Kent and Superman are the same person–those glasses are so damn deceiving!
Get the look: Grab some business-like duds, such as a blouse and vest over a pair of matching trousers, and put on a customized and retro Lois-esque wig. Don’t forget, adhere to all the classic reporter cliches and be sure to be sufficiently witty!

The Beautiful People
Costume: The Plastics from “Mean Girls”
Why?: As evidenced by their new “show” “Meanest Girls”, the Beautiful People are well aware of and probably aspire to be like the Plastics from the high school movie “Mean Girls”. They’re frighteningly similar–perfect blonde hair (except for Gretchen), an affinity for the color pink, and nasty, vindictive attitudes. The Plastics have the excuse of being teenagers, but I suppose the Beautiful People are still at that age mentally. If I had to assign a role to each of them. I’d probably have Velvet as Regina (the ringleader), Madison as Gretchen (the faithful sidekick to the Queen bee), and Lacey as Karen (not the brightest bulb in the box–with Lacey this would be more of a knock at her wrestling than her actual IQ). Together, the three of them can rule the school–or maybe just the catering area.
Get the look: Find two willing friends, wear lots and lots of pink, and act as high and mighty as humanly possible.

Traci Brooks
Costume: Gaila from “Star Trek”
Why?: The whole reason Traci made her return to TNA this year was because of her Playboy shoot. While that whole thing didn’t pan out as she probably would have liked, it’s undeniable that Traci’s TNA’s resident sexpot. While the whole “sexy slave Leia” costume is done to death, another sci-fi inspired costume–that of “Star Trek”‘s Gaila, a redheaded, green-skinned Orion woman–would be perfect to fit her sexy persona. Gaila is pretty promiscuous, so the costume wouldn’t have to amount of more than some lingerie. I’m sure Traci would be pretty comfortable with that.
Get the look: Stock up on some green body paint and put on an outfit as sexy as you’re comfortable with.

So, which costume idea (of all 3 parts) did you like best? Cast your vote below and sound off in the comments!
[poll id=435]

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