Tuesday, December 16, 2025
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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes (Issue #23) – I Can Handle the Truth

If you listen to Diva Dirt LIVE, you know that I get fired almost every week.  I really do try my best but inevitably I screw something up – either by calling someone the wrong name, or messing up the switchboard, or making some lame joke that not even my co-hosts will sell.  Whatever the reason I always find myself on shaky ground, which stinks because I really do love hosting the show.  Interacting with the callers and special guests is a lot of fun and if I can learn something about the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” along the way, all the better!  Fortunately for me Melanie usually has a change of heart during the week and lets me keep my job, so basically I’m working on a series of 1-week contracts (although what Melanie doesn’t know is that I’m kind of like a stray cat…feed me once and I’m hard to get rid of.)  So I never know how long this gig will last, but Diva Dirt LIVE has been on the air since June 2010 and I’m extremely proud of that.

Now, if there ever WAS a reason for Melanie to fire me it was during this past Royal Rumble in Boston (and no, I’m not talking about the plaid shirt I wore.)  I admit, I dropped the ball…big time.  See the WWE sold t-shirts at the event that advertised the Divas Championship as a fatal 4-way match, which is fine except no one was supposed to know that before the “anonymous general manager” changed the match at the last minute.  As Natalya was all set to defend her Divas title vs. Lay-Cool in a handicap match, Michael Cole received an email essentially adding a fourth competitor.

Of course I would have already known that had I just read the back of my son’s t-shirt.  UGH!

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes: Glam Slam Mailbag #5 + Glam Slam Reader Profile

Hello everyone!  I hope your 2011 is off to a flying start.  I’m excited for the year ahead and the Glam Slam mailbag is one of the main reasons.  I really enjoy answering your questions, plus I think the Reader Redux is another cool way for you to voice your opinions.  It’s catching on.  Look for two more great essays in this mailbag!

Once again, thanks to all of you who submitted questions!

Reader: Ohiofan5

“What are you New Year’s Eve traditions and what are your resolutions for [this] year?”

Mr. G – Man, New Year’s Eve is a LOT different now that we have kids.  In the old days my wife and I used to love going out to parties and visiting with friends.  Now we put the kids to bed, open up some champagne, and watch the network count-down shows.  Usually one of us doesn’t even stay awake long enough to see the ball drop!  I know, I know…we live like rock stars.  As for resolutions, I normally don’t make any because I try to make positive changes every day.  But this year I did make two – drink more water and get more sleep – because, let’s face it, these bags under my eyes really aren’t attractive.

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes (Issue #22) – The Divas Started the Fire (New Song)

 

2010, what a year.  Talk about highs and lows!  In April all of us Beth Phoenix fans celebrated her championship victory at Extreme Rules only to have the Glamazon injure her knee several weeks later, in effect ending her title reign.  When Beth officially lost the belt to Layla (and Michelle) it felt like a funeral, a cruel twist considering how well Beth’s face turn had been handled and how emotional she seemed when she won.  Then it was announced Beth would be out of action for many, many months.  Basically the rest of the year; it felt like ‘the longest time’.

Top of the mountain to the bottom of the barrel.  Obviously this was terrible for Beth, but it was also terrible for her fans.  Truthfully, I didn’t handle it very well.  My inspiration, my role model, my main reason for watching WWE was going to be out for a long period of time.  How could I even watch “Smackdown” anymore?  How could I even watch WRESTLING anymore?  I could just see myself bored to tears, basically ‘sleeping with the television on’.  I shut down.  I was hoping I could pick myself up and find enjoyment in wrestling again, at least until Beth returned, but I was constantly haunted by the same thought, “What if she didn’t recover?”  Gulp.  It was going to be hard to ‘keep the faith’ and I knew I wasn’t going to get through this alone.  I started spending a lot of time with ‘Captain Jack’ (or Johnny, as I call him). 

My wife is usually very supportive of my wrestling habit but she got tired of me moping around the house every day moaning about bad luck, knee injuries, and co-Women’s champions.  Of course I thought she was completely overreacting.  So what if I wouldn’t take off my Glamasuit…that ‘ain’t no crime’ in my book.  I started resenting her as a way to channel my frustration.  As a result there was a definite ‘storm front’ brewing. 

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes (Issue #21) – Mark My Words

 

I had a poker night a few weeks ago, something I try to do approximately every four months.  The cards are basically the excuse we use to get out of the house for a few hours.  Bring a 6-pack, throw in a $20, and you’re good to go.  We always play “dealer’s choice” which is fun because there are a million different poker games out there – Night Baseball, Chicago, Follow the Queen, Omaha, whatever – so that keeps the table running.

Every now and again we’ll play a game someone hasn’t heard of and we’ll have to stop and explain the rules.  No big deal.  We explain the game, clear up any confusion, and then deal out the cards.  At this last poker night, a buddy of mine pulled me aside and apologized because he didn’t know many of the games.  He just didn’t play cards all that often.  I assured him it wasn’t a problem.  He is a great guy, so what if poker isn’t his thing?  He wanted to join in and I guaranteed him he was more than welcome. 

Nobody gave him a hard time that night.  However if someone would have picked on him I would have asked that person to leave immediately.  See, I’ve been there.  I’ve been the odd man out at the poker table.  The guy who didn’t understand the rules and got roundly, repeatedly, and viciously harassed for it.  That was five years ago and I haven’t forgotten the feeling.  It’s not good.  I wasn’t “smartened” up to all the games so I took a beating for it.  Nobody was going to make someone feel that way in my own house.  You want to play at my table?  There is always a seat open and a cold beer waiting.      

What does this have to do with wrestling?  Well, in my personal opinion, no community is as fractured, judgmental, and condescending as professional wrestling fans.  Of course, that’s just my opinion.  We’re allowed to have those, right?  Right??

Well…maybe not.

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes: Glam Slam Mailbag #4 + Glam Slam Reader Profile

Happy holidays everybody!  I hope you enjoy my “Hitting the Ropes” Glam Slam holiday mailbag and let’s make 2011 a year to remember! 

Once again, thanks to all of you who submitted questions!

Reader: The_JM

“After seeing the whole season of NXT do you think it was a good thing? Or do you think just a regular debut on Raw or Smackdown would have been fine?”

Mr. G – Overall I enjoyed the Diva’s season of NXT.  As the show progressed I found myself invested in the characters and hoping that several of them would find themselves on the main roster.  We’ve seen from previous seasons you don’t have to “win” the show to get a WWE contract, so I hope we see Kaitlyn, Naomi, and AJ (at least) added to the roster, which would infuse some much needed energy to the Divas division.  I thought Aksana was hilarious although I am not in love with her as a wrestler.  In any case I was happy to see the girls get their own show and I think it was an effective was to present them to the WWE Universe.  It allowed the WWE to “market test” the girls and it appears several of them cultivated a nice fan base, which I think would have been difficult to do had they just been booked straight to Raw or Smackdown.

Now…that being said, there were problems with the show.  The constant berating and belittling from the announcers was way over the top.  Whatever you think about the Divas, these girls are still trying to do their best, and this is still their careers.  I didn’t understand WWE allowing that type of verbal abuse from their own employees.  After a while it became mean-spirited.  Also, switching to WWE.com was disruptive and I’m still disappointed that Isis the Amazon was not allowed on the program.

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes (Issue #20) – The 12 Divas of Christmas

I have a lot of names on my Christmas list this year.  I have been working for Diva Dirt for close to a year now and it’s time to square up and show my gratitude to the hard working women who get up every day and try to entertain their fans around the world.  To show my appreciation I am going to brave the crowds and pick them out some great gifts.  Let me grab my Neil Diamond Christmas CD and we’ll head to the mall (by the way, has any Jewish artist NOT made a Christmas CD?)

So the Christmas season is here and I have to admit I’m pretty excited.  Not because of the upcoming Slammy Awards (which I do enjoy by the way, though sadly I can’t remember who won the 2008 “Diva of the Year”.)  No, I really look forward to this time of year because now I’m a part of all of this. Santa Claus, the carols, the presents, the tinsel, the tree, the stockings.  Since getting married in 1999 my wife has educated me on the importance of the holiday season, of all the things we need to do to satisfy our Christmas traditions each year.  She grew up with fun Christmas memories and now it is important to her we pass those down to our children.

My wife’s favorite holiday tradition is putting up the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving because God forbid we just sit around, relax, watch football, and recover from our huge turkey dinner.  But I don’t really complain.  Like I said, I really am just excited to be a part of all this Christmas stuff.  Growing up Jewish I always felt like I was missing out. If Christmas was just December 25th that would be one thing, but Christmas is obviously an entire season.  As a Jewish boy this was challenging, especially growing up in a community with very little Jewish influence.  Being one of the only Jewish kids in your neighborhood makes you feel like everyone else is having a party…and you’re not invited.

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A Pocket Volcano’s Eruption (Issue #1) – An Ode to a Scream Queen

Greetings and salutations everyone! When the offer was made to Diva Dirt’s team members to come up with their own articles, I hopped on this bandwagon. I love to write, and what better way to share my thoughts and opinions on female wrestling? (The title of my articles came from a friend – he thinks of me as a volcano and this sprung to mind. I like it!) I struggled to come up with a subject for my first column, and it struck me whilst watching a match on SHIMMER Volume 14. I’m going to take this opportunity to fully expound on exactly why I idolize one wrestler in particular.

My number one is a peculiar choice, as there are others who are more technically skilled in the ring (as she, herself, would most likely agree), or others whose resume is filled with accolades and belts. However, this woman grabbed my attention the very first time I saw her on my television. I’ve followed her career through its ups and downs, its highs and lows. Her perseverance and good spirit is refreshing in a business that can chew you up and spit you out. Who is this lady? Read on…

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Southern Belle Smack (Issue #2) – Why One Diva SHOULDN’T Be Divas Champion

Interesting title, right?

Welcome everyone to another fabulous edition of the Southern Belle Smack proudly sponsored by… err hang on. This isn’t audio, is it? This is a column, blog, whatever you want to call it and it just so happens that this is the second edition of Diva Dirt‘s Southern Belle Smack. It’s been so long since I’ve written one of these that I don’t even remember what the first one was about. NXT perhaps? If that’s true then the last (and only) SBS appeared about ten weeks ago. Yikes. So much for weekly/bi-weekly feature, eh?

Notice how I threw in a little Canadian lingo there?

A Canadian is the subject of this blog today and that woman just happens to be competing in Miami tonight at the WWE Fall classic known as Survivor Series. Natalya, our Canadian subject in case you’ve already tuned out, will have a third crack at the Divas Championship when she steps inside the ring to face Lay-Cool in a 2-on-1 handicap match. There’s an old saying that seems fitting for tonight: the third time’s the charm. All signs would certainly indicate that Natalya is poised to walk out of the American Airlines Arena as the newly crowned queen of the WWE.

If anyone deserves this accolade, it’s the third generation Diva. She’s arguably the most skilled girl they have on the roster and she’s one of the best in the world. That alone should make her a shoo-in to become champ and I believe in my heart that she will finally get her first taste of WWE purple gold tonight. But my head… well that’s another story. My head sees Natalya losing tonight. Once again she’ll find herself robbed of championship glory and this time she will be out of chances.

And you know what? I’m fine with that. In my humble opinion, Natalya shouldn’t be Divas Champion.

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Introducing A Londoner’s Eye (Issue #1) – Beth Phoenix: A Lady Amongst Divas

Hello one and all! Welcome to a new column, ‘A Londoner’s Eye’ here at Diva Dirt piggybacking building off of the success of David’s wonderful column. I always get emails and questions about my opinion on this, that and the other and as you all know by now, I am highly opinionated on pretty much everything, so this new column will be a notebook of sorts which I hope to regularly update with my thoughts on what’s going on in the world of women’s wrestling. There likely won’t be any regaling tales from my childhood, though — I’ll leave that to David.

However, this first column does have some connection to our self-professed Mr Glamazon, as you can probably guess by the title. This one is all about a certain glamorous amazon, who like her name suggests, we are all eagerly awaiting to rise from the ashes in the coming days or weeks.

I admire Beth Phoenix for a number of reasons: her determination and passion for the industry, to me, shines through. She had a long journey to get to WWE and now she’s living her dream and seems like she doesn’t take it for granted one bit. Then there’s her striking physique. Furthermore Beth, in my opinion, fits perfectly into WWE’s PG era along with the likes of John Cena, because she’s a great role model regardless of whether she’s a babyface or heel.

As a babyface, she’s able to connect with her fans and be that role model a little more, but even as a heel Beth was always smart, savvy and headstrong — attributes that women and young girls can look up to. Beth has made her character come across elegant — even though she slams girls into the mat — and you’d never dream to hear the word ‘whore’ come out of this Diva’s mouth. No sir. Leave that to the Knockouts. Though we’d love to have seen Beth tussle with the likes of Trish, Lita, Victoria et al, somehow I’ve always felt she fits much better into this era than the last. Though the Divas then didn’t curse as much as the Knockouts, they were pretty sexually suggestive and explicit themselves. Beth Phoenix, the elegant, graceful, Parents Television Council-friendly Glamazon wouldn’t have worked quite as well as it does now.

Yet for all the praise I have heaped on Beth in that last paragraph, I haven’t always been so enamored with Beth.

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes (Issue #19) – Kelly Kelly: A Bridge to Nowhere?

If you normally read my column you know I am full of theories.  I guess it comes from being an engineer, always trying to figure stuff out, always trying to see how things work.  It’s kind of ironic because that is certainly not how I was raised.  My dad couldn’t change a light bulb and just watched TV all day.  My mom was a dancer and was always listening to show tunes (where is the couch Dr. Freud?)  In any event somewhere along the line I got interested in science, eventually majoring in mathematics once I got to college.  When I had to declare a minor I chose Classical Studies, because, you know, “Clash of the Titans” was a cool movie (the original, not the brutal remake).  So, after 4 years of Nintendo, beer, and flag football, I graduated college as a deep thinker filled with numbers and Greek philosophy, perfect for analyzing and writing about women’s professional wrestling.   

I have already shared with you several of my theories, such as my Kate Winslet Theory (Lay-Cool), my Beyonce Theory (Gail Kim) and my Sandra Bullock Theory (the Bella Twins).  Each one more enlightening than the last.  Well it’s time to reach even higher, to break through the intellectual clouds, and to share with you my latest and greatest brainwave.  I hope you’re sitting down… 

I give to you…my “Sarah Palin Theory”!  *clap clap clap* You see, to me it is quite clear that Kelly Kelly is the Sarah Palin of the WWE.   

Now, I could jump right into my analysis and immediately break this down, presenting the facts in an honest effort to convince you my theory is correct.  But as you know by now there has to be a personal back story to all of my articles, so here we go (this is the point most of you stop reading…thanks for coming, don’t forget to tip the waiters…)

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes: Glam Slam Mailbag #3 + Glam Slam Reader Profile

It’s time for the third “Hitting the Ropes” Glam Slam mailbag!  Once again, thanks to all of you who submitted questions!

OK, let’s kick things off…

Reader: Billy James

“Do you think that Mickie James will cement her place in Women’s Wrestling History as one of the greatest female wrestlers of all time plus silence her critics when Mickie wins the TNA Knockout championship and becomes the 1st Triple Crown Women’s champion?  Also when do you see Mickie winning the Knockouts title?”

Mr. G – As a 5-time Women’s Champion as well as a Divas Champion, there is no denying the impact and accomplishments of Mickie James in the WWE.  She was a very valuable piece of the Divas division and was involved in some great storylines (Trish’s stalker, obviously, but I also liked her matches with Beth and her recent work with Lay-Cool).  But I am not sold on Mickie as one of the greatest of all time.  If you are going strictly on number of championships, then that is indisputable.  But in professional wrestling we know championships don’t necessarily equal career success (for example, Jake Roberts never won a WWE title but few people were bigger stars at the time.)  I think Mickie is an above-average wrestler who is just mediocre on the microphone, and I only love her matches when she is paired with a dynamic opponent.  Mickie may win the TNA Knockout’s title in the next few weeks but I still wouldn’t put her in the same category as the true legends of women’s wrestling.  (Sorry Billy…)

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The Women of Tough Enough: Where Are They Now? (Part 2)

Lee Burton returns with the second part of his look at the women of Tough Enough, this time focusing on the best of the rest. Click here to read part one.

In the original part of this look back of The Women of Tough Enough, we checked out the three winners – Nidia Guenard, Linda Miles and Jackie Gayda Haas. In this concluding part, we should take a peek at some of the other contestants who ended up in the biz, as well as the applicants who didn’t make it into the house but still forged a career in wrestling anyway.

So let’s go through it season by season…

Tough Enough 1
As mentioned in the previous article, Nidia won the original season after being picked over her only other real competition, Taylor Matheny (now 30). At the finale, Taylor promised that she wouldn’t quit her dream of making it as a wrestler, and stuck to her promise… at first.

Taylor was a salty character on Tough Enough. Participating in the show at the disapproval of her parents and being very focused on the prize at the end, she pushed herself in the ring and was dedicated to learning the craft. However, things went south when the remaining contestants went on the road with Al Snow, as she got utterly hammered in a bar and was very delicate the next day. If anything, this might have been an indicator to the WWF that she had pangs of irresponsibility and had some growing up to do. If anything, Taylor wanted it TOO much.

Nobody could doubt her desire though – as evidenced on the final live episode where she looked utterly crushed when Nidia was announced as the victor.

After TE1 ended, Matheny wrestled dates in the US, Canada and Japan (most notably with the celebrated ARSION promotion), defeating the likes of Cheerleader Melissa along the way, and tangling with the likes of SHIMMER co-founder Allison Danger, earning her a 3rd runner-up spot in the Pro Wrestling Illustrated Rookie of the Year rankings. The problem was that by the time she had earned that honour, Taylor was starting to wind down as a wrestler.

In 2004, Matheny quit wrestling to take up a course studying Hollywood make-up, though she did appear in the Florida promotion Full Impact Pro in a special guest appearance with her then-boyfriend, now-husband. His name: Brian Kendrick.

Yes, THE Brian Kendrick – the one who held the WWE Tag Team Championship for a year and currently plies his craft in TNA. Even after removing herself from wrestling, Taylor’s still associated with it, thanks to her marijuana-loving beau.

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes (Issue #18) – These Wrestling Boots Are Made For Walking

I know Mickie James and Kat Waters didn’t actually have to pack their suitcases or rent U-Hauls.  They didn’t have to get new driver’s licenses or schedule service appointments with DirecTV.  But none the less each girl just went through a very big move.  Since leaving the WWE in the spring of 2010 both girls have signed deals with Total Nonstop Action wrestling, effectively packing up one stage of their respective careers and moving to totally new surroundings. 

Fortunately Mickie and Kat are going to be just fine.  Both are working for a high-profile company that will showcase them on television and keep them in the spotlight.  The paychecks might not be as big, but money isn’t everything.  Each should feel somewhat fortunate because professional wrestling is brutally competitive, with many athletes vying for precious few spots on a roster.  At the end of the day wrestlers better love what they do because the odds of hitting the big time are daunting.  And if they do get a break, they have to work extremely hard to keep their spot.  Mickie and “Winter”, as Kat is now called, are two of the survivors.  

I give each girl a tremendous amount of credit.  Admittedly I’m not a wrestling insider, but I am familiar with some of the stress and anxiety associated with this type of transition.  I’ve seen it first-hand.   

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The Women of Tough Enough: Where Are They Now?

Roughly ten years ago, a group of eager wannabes queued up on the bitterly cold streets of New York City to audition for a new WWF concept. Tough Enough was looking for a group of 13 men and women to learn how to wrestle from scratch over 9 weeks. Two winners would be chosen, given WWF contracts and be on their way to becoming WWF Superstars.

It had its critics – most notably Triple H, who thought it exposed the business too much, and he might have had a point, as the first season gave every viewer a rough guide on how to bump, which must have resulted in a few shocked vertebrae – but it was a big hit on MTV, where it was hosted. Three seasons were produced for the network, with a fourth featuring on SmackDown in 2004 and was a rough blueprint for the wonderful programme we know and love called NXT.

Now we have been informed that USA Network is planning to revive Tough Enough, though it is still unclear what the format will be. It could follow the format of the original three seasons by taking novices and teaching them from the bottom. It could bring in indie wrestlers and polish them, reminiscent of The Ultimate Fighter; or it could take WWE contracted wrestlers currently plying their craft in Florida Championship Wrestling and put them in a house – though that version will probably be more scripted and moulded towards who WWE want to push. However, to judge how successful any potential winner of Tough Enough: The Return would be, it would be a good idea to look into its history.

Tough Enough produced seven winners – three female, four male – with John Morrison being the most successful of the bunch. But if they have a Y chromosome, we’re not really interested in them, no matter how long and floppy their hair is. So in this two-part piece, we’ll have a look at the fates of the women of Tough Enough, what happened to their careers, and what they are up to these days.

To start with, let us examine the fortunes of the three female winners – in the second part coming next week, we can have a nose around at the other contestants who didn’t win, and the ones who didn’t even make it into the house.

So why don’t we kick off with the originator…?

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes (Issue #17) – SHIMMER Cappuccino

Hey, I make no apologies, I’m a WWE guy.  I know the WWE is no different than McDonald’s, Wal-Mart, and Starbucks, a huge, publicly traded company that is first and foremost concerned with profitability and market share.  It’s a wildly successful business run by a man whose sole objective is to make money.  The actual wrestling is secondary, really just a vehicle to showcase the individual Superstars, who in turn grab the attention of fans eager to buy the t-shirts, action figures, and Glamasuits that keep the money rolling in.  And as long as the WWE is making money, Vince is going to stick with what works no matter how much some fans wish he would revamp certain aspects of his product (like booking the Divas strong on TV).  Starbucks may burn their coffee, but they sell a boatload of it every day.  I may grumble about the quality, and I may grumble about the price, but there I am every day ordering a white chocolate mocha from the barista (no, not Batista…although if this MMA thing doesn’t work out, you never know…) 

A little known fact about me: I can’t function in the morning without a monster cup of coffee.  I’m not one of those people that bounce out of bed when I wake up.  I’m grouchy and irritable.  My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt.  I stumble around like Ric Flair after an all-night bender.   Truthfully, my wife’s not much better, but since she gets up with the kids she already has a pot of coffee brewing by the time I stagger into the kitchen (God bless her, it’s the little things that keep love alive).  I don’t even say hi to my family until I’m one cup down.  Once I get that first cup in me, though, I start to get excited for the day ahead and I’m a pretty easy guy to be around.  But before that? 

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What’s Next for Melina?

Barring injury, it’s been a good two years for Melina dating back to her first comeback from injury in November 2008. The three-time Women’s Champion and two-time Divas Champion has spent most, if not all, of her run between November ’08 till Night of Champions last month at the top of the Divas division. That is, of course, excluding the 7 months Melina spent on the shelf between January and July this year.

A brief history lesson: Returning from her injury suffered in June 2008, Melina returned triumphant in November of that year, and chased Beth Phoenix for the Women’s Championship, putting the exclamation point on her comeback by winning the belt at Royal Rumble 2009. Next, Melina moved to SmackDown and began a months-long feud with Michelle McCool over the belt, including that Match of the Year winning bout at Night of Champions 2009. Traded back to Raw in October, Melina became the Divas Champion on her first night back and held the belt till her ACL injury in December. Returning in time for SummerSlam, she regained the Divas Championship only to lose it a month later in that high profile title unification match — and now here we are.

It’s not often that a Diva can command the spotlight for so long, so it seemed inevitable that the A-List Diva would join the queue of fellow former champions turned ‘another face in the crowd’ along with Eve, Alicia etc. following her loss against Michelle McCool at Night of Champions. That ‘face in the crowd’ status was further cemented by her and Gail Kim filling the usual Bella Twins spot of schmoozing with the guest host on Raw last Monday. But while it’s a breath of fresh air to see the likes of Natalya get a chance to shine, I can’t help but question… what is next for Melina?

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes: Glam Slam Mailbag #2 + First Glam Slam Reader Profile

It’s time for the second “Hitting the Ropes” Glam Slam mailbag!  I enjoyed writing the first one so much I thought I would make this a regular feature.  Thanks to all of you who submitted questions!

OK, let’s jump right in… 

Reader: madslam2009
“Who is your favorite TNA Knockout and what do you like about her?”

Mr. G – I really like the Beautiful People because I have always liked tag teams more than individual wrestlers (Fabulous Firebirds notwithstanding…) I like how they generate a lot of controversy and stay prominently involved in TNA’s storylines.  I admit they are not the most technical wrestlers in the world but that has never been my #1 concern.  I gravitate towards performers that I find “interesting”, and there really haven’t been many great female tag teams (although I would definitely put LayCool at the top of any short list).  I like that there have been several iterations of the Beautiful People, and I think they look great together, cut decent promos, and can carry themselves as faces or  heels.  My problem with TNA is the lack of interesting opponents for them to wrestler (I am not a big Tara fan) so I would welcome a feud with Mickie James upon her arrival to TNA. 

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Saying Goodbye to the Women’s Championship & Why This Could Be a Positive

The retirement of the WWE Women’s Championship has been the big talk of the town here at Diva Dirt in the past week. The DD team has weighed in and multiple former champions have weighed in including but not limited to Beth Phoenix, Mickie James and Melina. We also got the comments of a certain legendary former champion too, but more on that later.

It’s with a heavy heart that all of us women’s wrestling fans say goodbye to the Women’s Championship. Say what you will about WWE’s Divas product in the past few years, but the history and lineage of that belt — dating back 54 years — must be respected. Female wrestlers who we recognise today dreamed about holding that championship belt when they were simply fans just like the rest of us. As Sara Del Rey, a woman who has never held the belt but obviously respects it, said: “In many ways, that was the most prestigious belt in all of women’s wrestling.” While I would argue that SHIMMER, pound for pound, delivers the best quality championship matches in the ring, no belt has the same visibility and lineage as the WWE Women’s Championship did. Seen by millions of viewers on a weekly basis and around the world, the majority of fans have grown up with this belt and trained themselves to think of it is the ultimate prize for a woman in wrestling.

Judging by the comments made by those aforementioned former champions, they have obviously been touched to have had the honor and privilege of holding that title. While wrestling is scripted, perhaps we underestimate what the words, ‘Former WWE Women’s Champion’ appended to one’s name can do for your career — even beyond WWE. While physically the belt has changed appearance over the years, to be considered as part of the same lineage as WWE Hall of Famers, Fabulous Moolah and Wendi Richter, is a ‘money can’t buy’ feeling for our Divas today. Following in the footsteps of even Trish Stratus, while a more modern day name, is an honor also.

The women’s division in WWE may not be where it was at a few years ago when Trish Stratus and Lita battled in the main event of Raw for that belt, and some of the matches may not have been as lengthy or memorable, but the prestige of the belt speaks for itself.

So as we say goodbye to the Women’s Championship, I want to take this moment to also say thank you. Thank you to all of those women who have held the belt, who have tried their hardest to uphold the legacy of their predecessors and most importantly, who have tried their hardest to entertain us fans as champion. No doubt, we all have our own personal favourite champions and championship reigns, but each woman tried to bring their own touch to that belt and here we are today. Thank you to all of you!

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes (Issue #16) – All Dressed Up

 

Like a lot of readers on this site I am in love with a pretty brunette from Los Angeles.  No, no, no…it’s not Melina, although I will admit she is pretty sensational.  Great looking, great worker.  But c’mon, she defeated my beloved Glamazon at the 2009 Royal Rumble and stole her Women’s Championship.  An egregious crime that I may never get over.  Not only do I look more and more like an elephant as I get older, I have a memory like one too.  Sorry Melina…it still hurts.

No, this particular brunette has been a part of my life for 23 years now, and to this day she still gives me butterflies and makes me feel light-headed.  It all started back in the summer of 1987 when I was attending basketball camp at Franklin & Marshall College.  At the end of the week my parents took me to the school bookstore so I could get a t-shirt or pair of shorts.  As I was making my way back to the clothing section I passed the magazine rack and…BAM…something hit me right between the eyes.  I felt like I had been hit by a bulldozer.  Staring back at me was the most picturesque, beautiful woman I had ever seen.  There she was, like an angel, on the cover of that month’s SPIN magazine – Susanna Hoffs of the Bangles.  I’m not sure I believe in love at first site…but that was definitely the first time I felt incredibly attracted to a woman.  I didn’t know a lot about the Bangles in general, but I knew I would soon be finding out much, much more.

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Southern Belle Smack: The NXT Season Three Debate… Is it Doomed to Fail?

Season three of NXT is no doubt the most talked about season so far in the show’s history. Last week, during the finale of season two, Josh Mathews and Michael Cole made a historic announcement by telling us that season three is going to be comprised entirely of Diva rookies. When the average wrestling fan hears the term ‘Diva’, he automatically assumes that a hot girl with a nice set of puppies will walk out to the ring. Or what’s worse, is average fan may believe Diva time is really bathroom time. The majority of average wrestling fans are ignoramuses, but the point remains the same. What the term ‘Diva’ actually stands for is overcoming the odds in WWE land. That’s exactly what six rookie Divas have a chance to accomplish starting this week on NXT.

The decision to make NXT 3 about the Divas was met with a lot of well documented controversy. Fans, pro wrestling media personnel, and “writerz” took to their Twitters, Facebooks, MySpaces, etc. to make their feelings known about this upcoming all Diva show. A nice chunk of these people took one look at the pros and decided not to watch. Some people decided to just talk a lot of smack and back up their verbal BS with weak arguments and ridiculous ‘facts’. The saving grace in all of this were the real Diva fans. They chose to remain open-minded and optimistic.

The all Diva season of NXT could go one of these two ways: it could either be a success and the WWE could find their next breakout Diva or it could go the opposite way and be an epic failure.

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes (Issue #15) – Miss Elizabeth Tribute

Recently I was having a bad day at work so I needed something to lift my spirits.  When I got home the family was out on a play date, so I went downstairs, threw on my blue Glamasuit, and watched a replay of Extreme Rules 2010.  As always, Beth’s title victory did the trick.  I perked right back up.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think back to April 25, 2010, Baltimore, MD, when my beloved Glamazon pinned Michelle McCool to capture the WWE women’s championship.   I have such great memories of that night.  Sitting in the front row.  Cheering like a little kid.  Jumping around as the ref counted three.  I’ve watched the match 12,809 times and I enjoy it every time.  To me the match is perfect.  (I’d say it was “flawless” but, you know, I don’t want to have to pay royalties…).

But I finally admitted something to myself the other night.  As much as I treasure the match, it wasn’t “perfect”.  I have been so in love with the result that I overlooked 2 aspects of the match that sadly affect its historical impact.  First of all, the match was booked as an “Extreme Makeover” match.  WTF?!?  Were the rules ever fully explained?  Two premier workers shouldn’t decide the women’s title by using ironing boards and make-up tables.  Too “gimmicky”.  Secondly, the match was on the Extreme Rules PPV, a show people will ultimately forget (seriously, name 3 matches without heading to Wikipedia).  This wasn’t exactly WrestleMania.  So even though I was overwhelmed with joy and excitement that night, I have to finally admit the match wasn’t perfect.

Which got me thinking…

Has there ever been a perfect match?

Obviously this is a very subjective topic.  I think it would be very, very hard to get two people to agree on the definition of “perfection”.  So how would I define the “perfect match”?  Glad you asked…

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes – Glam Slam Mailbag #1

Welcome to the first “Hitting the Ropes” Glam Slam mailbag!  I enjoy writing my normal column but I thought it would be exciting to mix things up a little bit.  I’m not exactly sure where I want to go with this, but at the very least it is a chance to interact with you, the readers, and to discuss some new topics and issues.  Of course we’ll still talk about women’s wrestling but I thought I would open up Pandora’s Box and see what else is on your collective minds.  Maybe along the way we’ll learn something about each other and…God forbid…even have a little fun.  (I know, I know, I sound like such a mark.)  So, I hope you enjoy the Glam Slam mailbag, a mixture of serious, humorous, and thoughtful responses to your questions and comments.  Plus a few wrinkles thrown in for good measure…        

Some Glam Slam ground rules: No topic is off limits.  You want to comment on movies, TV, music, sports, politics, etc, go ahead and drop me a note.  If there something specific you want to ask me about the Divas, Knockouts, etc., please don’t be shy.  I will try to include all of your comments and questions unless they are rude or vulgar.  Can’t have that.  Also, if I don’t have an interesting response or I just don’t know what the hell you are talking about, I will either 1) reach out for help from my fellow Diva Dirt writers or 2) make up an answer.  I hope nobody takes this too seriously.  I have already received a bunch of good questions and I appreciate that.  Fortunately I won’t have to make up questions to fill out this column.

So let’s get started! 

Reader: BPhoenix1933
“Who do you think is the prettiest Diva in the WWE?  And do you have plans Saturday night?”

Mr. G. – ok, ok, just seeing if you’re paying attention….

Here we go for real…. 

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Lay-Cool & Melina: Where Do We Go from Here?

Last night’s SummerSlam pay per view is in the history books and while Steven will be reviewing the Divas match at length later, I wanted to broach the subject of Lay-Cool vs Melina, which was teased to us at the end of the Divas Championship match. Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but last night’s attack on Melina at the hands of SmackDown’s mean girls opened up a world of opportunity and to me, was the Diva equivalent of the then-NXT season one rookies hitting the ring on Raw back in June, in that now infamous ‘Tiegate’ segment.

“Why was Lay-Cool there?” “Why did they attack Melina?” Those were just some of the questions that people were asking last night. Did it all make sense? No. But then again, did that NXT invasion all make sense that Monday night in June? Answers, I expect, will come tonight and in the coming weeks on Raw and SmackDown.

For what it was, however, last night’s angle was an explosive and exciting way to begin what seems like a new cross-promotional feud between the self-professed co-Women’s Champions and the new Divas Champion. WWE quite literally kicked things off with a bang, with Michelle McCool hitting that devastating running knee into a defenceless Melina, who was propped up against the announcers’ table. Kudos to all involved, because that had me — and I suspect many of you — anticipating what would happen next.

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes – Issue #14

 

 “CHANGE” 

That was the title of the email.  Short, simple, just one word.  Uh oh.  I just knew this wasn’t going to be good.  Like when the phone rings too late at night and you don’t want to answer it because you know it’s never good news.  My heart started beating really, really fast.  “Oh dear God I’m afraid to open it,” I thought to myself.  I stared at the screen for 5 solid minutes.  Finally I clicked the email message and read the bad news from the casting agency.

“I’m sorry to say the client has decided to only use the girl.  I know you’re disappointed.  I’ll try to make it up to you.”  

The client?  World Wrestling Entertainment. 

Another few moments passed.  I really don’t know how long I sat there staring at my computer screen, honestly.  I took a deep breath, walked upstairs and told my wife, “Well, you’ll never believe it.  They’re not using me tomorrow.”  She could see the disappointment in my face.  Nothing “life or death”, but real disappointment.  She felt badly for me, she tried to lift my spirits, but I was pretty down in the dumps.

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes – Issue #13

 

Diva Dirt’s own Jennifer recently shared a great story:

In an interview I had a few weeks ago, we were asked, ‘If money was no question, and if you didn’t have to work for your livelihood, what would you do?’ My hand shot up. I was honest; I said, ‘I’d wrestle.’ The whole room erupted into laughter. The interviewer said, ‘Really?’ I said, ‘Yeah, I would love to wrestle.’ She thought I was the most interesting person in that interview, hah. I make no apologies – I’ll admit I’m a wrestling fan and if the conversation goes farther I admit my real passion is for women’s wrestling. If folks aren’t mature enough to handle that, then sucks for them. They don’t know what they’re missing.

 
I love this story for several reasons.  First of all, I love people’s passions.  I don’t care if you love the Civil War, collecting bottle caps, or writing poetry.  I am interested in hearing more about it.  I like seeing someone’s eyes light up when they talk about something they care about.  I love how Jennifer didn’t worry about the reaction in the room.  That’s the great thing about believing in something, about having a true passion.  You feel it inside of you and that’s all that matters.  I also love this story because it made me think, “Jesh, how would I truly answer that question?”  What would I truly love to do with my life?  

Well for starters, I know I wasn’t born to be a project manager.  The job is fine, I work with nice people, and I enjoy business travel, but I don’t jump out of bed every day and mark out because I get to generate project plans.  When I was a kid I saw the movie JAWS and wanted to be a marine biologist, but now I’m afraid of the ocean.  Plus I don’t really want to be in a small boat all the time…I like my TiVo too much.  So I’m glad I didn’t follow through with that.  The truth is that I’ve always kind of known what I wanted to be when I “grew up”.  I was born to be a booker.  I was born to script professional wrestling.  I never figured out how to pursue this dream, but I started to feel this way the night I saw my first match, October 1985 at the Hershey Park Arena.  The next thing I know I am buying my first Big John Studd action figure and I’ve been booking ever since.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the actual matches, but I have always been more interested in putting together the card, of building the excitement of an entire show from one match to the next.  I think I’m pretty good at it too, because ever since 1985 I have been putting asses in seats.

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TNA Announces ECW-Inspired PPV: Should They Bring Back the ECW Vixens?

Always first for originality, TNA’s next pay per view — Hard Justice — has been renamed Hardcore Justice: The Last Stand and will be a tribute show featuring many ECW originals. But of the names rumoured so far [Jerry Lynn, CW Anderson etc.], there doesn’t seem to be any women from the original ECW. Hmm, just an oversight I’m sure…

To help out Dixie and co., here’s our guide to the four women we’d like to see:

Beulah

Hardcore history: Making her ECW debut in 1995, Beulah was introduced a major catalyst in a feud between Tommy Dreamer and Raven. The two feuded over Beulah and there were many twists and turns including a fake pregnancy. After siding with Dreamer, Beulah was then revealed to have had an affair — with a woman! Perhaps her biggest highlight is a bloody brawl with Bill Alfonso. Beulah re-emerged in the WWE incarnation of ECW, catfighting with old rival Francine at One Night Stand in 2005 and then competing in a six-person tag match involving Lita in 2006.
Why she should be at the PPV: As Tommy Dreamer’s wife, it’s entirely possibly that Beulah may turn up at Hardcore Justice. Dreamer is reportedly putting the show together and it’d wouldn’t be a surprise to see his wife by his side at the pay per view. Perhaps a Dreamer/Raven rematch for old time’s sake with Beulah at ringside?

Watch Beulah’s match with Alfonso below:

More after the cut:

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