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Raw Response: May 31st, 2010

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Tonight’s Raw will be hosted by actor and uncrowned Twitter King Ashton Kutcher. To watch the show, tune in at 9pm EST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments! Also, be sure to join us for The Post-Raw Show live at 11pm ET.

Khloé Kardashian Takes Monday Night Raw

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UPDATE: Khloé Kardashian will not be hosting Raw, says her publicist Jill Fritzo. In a comment to Diva Dirt, Fritzo says: “This is not true, not sure where that rumor started.” Reality star, Khloé Kardashian Odom is being lined up to guest host Monday Night Raw on June 28th, reports PWInsider. The stint will presumably … Read more

Raw Redux (May 24th, 2010): Old Tricks and New Faces

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After the underwhelming Divas Championship match at Over the Limit, I was hopeful that the following Raw would pick things back up and continue the Divas Championship feud down the more unique path we’ve been enjoying these past few weeks (exhibits , B, and C. Not so, folks, because it seems that we’re back in “piss break” territory. Of course, all could turn around next week, but a week’s stay in “piss break” territory still leaves you smelling of.. well, you know. Putting it in more eloquent terms, instead of continuing with the more unique ways of building this feud between Maryse and Eve Torres, the WWE decided to book them in a tag team match, effectively packing their feud together with the one between Alicia Fox and Gail Kim. That’s one 2-for-1 sale I’m not happy about. Watch the match below:

Gail and Alicia start things off. Gail goes for a tie-up but Alicia has a better idea, booting Gail in the stomach. She blasts her wit ha forearm before irish-whipping her into the corner. When she attacks, though, she gets a face full of elbow, setting Gail up to hit a top-rope hurricanrana (How long has it been since we’ve seen one of those??). Alicia flops around, sans equilibrium, finding a corner to lean against. Gail stays on the attack, hitting her hit-and-slip move. While on the apron, Maryse tries to sneak an attack, but Gail kicks her in the stomach. Gail stops another attack from Alicia, burying her shoulder into her midsection and vaulting over the ropes into a sunset flip pin attempt. However, she can’t even roll Alicia onto her shoulders, and Fox takes the momentum, holding onto the ropes. Maryse takes this opportunity to tag in, and as Gail rolls Alicia back into a pin, Maryse slips in and kicks Gail square in the back. This of course, breaks the non-pin.

Maryse lays another boot into Gail before going for a pin of her own. Gail kicks out at 2. She hoists her up into a backbreaker and toys around with her a bit before Gail kicks her away. Gail moves to tag in Eve, and Maryse tries to stop this, but Eve ducks out of the way of her haymaker, hitting a right hand of her own before finally getting tagged in. Eve goes on a string of offense (a clothesline here, and dropkick there, and a neckbreaker for good measure) before trying for the pin. Maryse kicks out at 2, but before she can pop up to her feet Eve kicks her back down, leaping over her and hitting a standing moonsault. She goes for the pin again, but Alicia break it up.

This brings in Gail, and with the referee distracted by her, Alicia boots Eve right in the face. This allows Maryse to set up the French Kiss, hit it, and get the pin.

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Sarona Snuka Debuts on Raw

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Tonight on Raw Sarona Snuka, known as Tamina in FCW, made her WWE debut. She and her tag team, Jimmy and Jules Uso, attacked Natalya and the Hart Dynasty. We don’t know what moniker she’ll go by in the WWE, but a good bet is that they’ll stick with Tamina. What do you think? Are … Read more

Raw Response: May 24th, 2010

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Tonight’s Raw will be hosted by comedian Jon Lovitz. Plus, who will be the new Raw General Manager? To watch the show, tune in at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (May 17th, 2010): Nothing (and No One) Wasted

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I think, if tonight’s Raw taught us one thing, it was this: less commercials means more Divas. Of course, that’s a bit of a leap in logic, but that fact is that tonight’s show, whilst being commercial free, featured more Diva face time than we’ve seen in a long time: 2 (count ’em, 2) matches, a backstage segment, and 2 faux-commercials. That adds up to a load of Divas being utilized, including 2 Divas that aren’t even technically apart of the brand. That’s a kind of efficiency I was beginning to think that the WWE didn’t know existed (that string of 1-minute-and-less matches didn’t help). Let us observe:

The beginning of our Diva-filled night was signaled by the appearance of a familiar face, home-country girl Trish Stratus. Unfortunately, that face was printed on a magazine cover rather than being flesh and bone, and we soon saw that Maryse was the face behind it. It was a slick move to get fans excited while risking disappointment, but it was smart to make Maryse be the one to “break the news”, so to speak. Let her be the one to put out the Trish Stratus bait and yank it back. It is a neat heat-generating maneuver that worked. Talking to the makeup woman, she details how Canadians suck and that fact that she’s French Canadian is a completely different thing. She starts trash talking Eve, and if summoned by the gods, Eve appears behind her, grabbing some baby powder and pouring it over Maryse’s head.

A makeup table fight ensues, with Eve smashing Maryse’s face against it a few times before the girls are separated. The fire in this feud continues to burn, and in this segment they showed real intensity. I mentioned this in the Post-Raw show, but I feel like whenever the WWE needs to inject some intensity in to a diva feud, they have the girls fight at the makeup station. But hell, it works! It allows the Divas to have a real, scrappy fight and makes the heat feel that much more real. It’s worked for countless Divas feuds before, and this one was no exception.

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Raw Response: May 17th, 2010

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Tonight’s Raw will be hosted by legendary American astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to step foot on the moon (following that Neil Armstrong fellow). To watch the show, tune in at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Indy Wrestler to Receive Tryout at Raw Tonight

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Canadian wrestler, Cherry Bomb is to get a tryout before WWE’s Monday Night Raw taping tonight. Cherry Bomb, real name Laura Dennis, is 23 years old and has previously wrestled at SHIMMER events on the pre-show, SPARKLE. Tonight’s Raw emanates from the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, home of Gail Kim and the legendary Trish … Read more

Raw Redux (May 10th, 2010): Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

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You could say that last week’s confrontation between Maryse and Eve Torres could be described as wham, bam, thank you ma’am, but in a good way. It brought a sense of unpredictability to the feud, and packed more excitement into a few seconds than we’ve seen in this entire feud (save their intense fight at ringside two weeks ago). The feud seems to be building into something more than quick little matches and petty insults, and I’m glad for that. This week’s action, while not nearly as compelling, seems to be continuing in that same direction.

We see a video package reviewing Eve’s Divas Title win from three weeks ago. We don’t often see video packages for the Divas, so that’s cool, and it probably helped to refresh the memories of fans who don’t pay as strict attention to the Diva goings-on as we do. The package continues on to tell us more about Eve. Or, rather, illustrate what they’ve been repeating in every match of hers in recent memory. You see, Eve is Smart, Sexy, and Powerful™, has brains to back up her beauty, and has a background in Jiu-Jitsu. It’s a bit ham fisted and obvious in its attempt to get fans to embrace Eve, but at least they’re making the effort. I only wish they tried to do something about it a few weeks ago when they initially decided to push her. That way, they wouldn’t have to pack it all into a video package like it’s some Miss America profile. But hey, at least they didn’t run down her turn-ons and turn-offs.

We then cut to footage from Maryse earlier in the day. She appears to be training in Jiu-Jitsu herself, but also appears to be dressed like she’s in a Britney Spears music video, so who knows what’s going on. She does pretty well at first, hitting a few take downs. Her trainer then instructs her to sweep his feet, but she can’t, and he tells her he doesn’t think she’s trying hard enough. Maryse takes the news as you would expect–she slaps him, kicks him in the knee cap, and departs, tossing out her trademark hand gesture for good measure.

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Raw Response: May 10th, 2010

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Tonight’s Raw will be hosted by reality TV star and former member of Public Enemy, Flavor Flav. Cross your fingers that this doesn’t result in some knockoff “Flavor of Love” segment. As always, tune in at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (May 3rd, 2010): “Where’s My Title?” BAM!

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Post-WWE Draft Raw shaped up nicely last night as for the first time in several years, we actually got some storyline for the Divas! Following the recent SmackDown route of a backstage promo followed by a match, last night’s edition of Raw managed to pack every single Raw Diva onto the show — hopefully a sign of what is to come. Did last night’s Raw start as it means to go on? Only time will tell but from last night’s episode alone, it looks like SmackDown — and TNA for that matter — could have some competition on its hands.

The night started off with Divas Champion, Eve Torres backstage doing a photoshoot with her belt, with her entrance music playing in the background. You know… as you do. I’m sure Lady Gaga has her songs playing when she does her photoshoots too, Eve! Watch below:

In comes tonight’s Raw Guest Host, Wayne Brady of err… some sort of fame unbeknownst to this Brit writer. Anyway, he is paid to tell tells Eve that she’s his favourite Diva. Just as they begin conversing, they are interrupted by Jillian who gives us another fabulous cover of ‘Fame’ from the movie of the same name… hey, it can’t be any worse than that awful remake last year! I think I’ll take Jillian over that movie, two hours wasted. Brady gets rid of Jillian in a rather funny moment [“Go, go go go… gone!”] before saying his goodbyes to Eve. And for a second there, it seems like the segment is just going to end there — another silly Jillian singing skit. But wait! As Eve returns to her photoshoot, she sees that her title is not where she left it. All of a sudden, in comes Maryse and clocks Eve with the belt before putting it over her own shoulder and posing with it.

As everyone has been mentioning, this really was an epic little segment with the belt shot being executed perfectly by both Eve and Maryse. Eve really sold it well. These days, it’s becoming rare to see physicality like that among the Divas — especially on Raw so this was a great spot that totally caught me off guard. What a creative and fun spot!

Next up is the match between Maryse and Nikki Bella:

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Raw Response: May 3rd, 2010

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Tonight’s episode of Raw is hosted by comedian Wayne Brady, host of ‘Let’s Make a Deal’. What will he have in store for the Divas? Tune in at 9pm ET on USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (April 25th, 2010): Kelly Heads For Bluer Pastures

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With last week being a bust, Diva-wise, there was considerable hope (at least on my part) that the Divas would have a significant part on the big, 3-hour Draft episode of Raw. While the actual Draft picks didn’t go the way we expected or hoped, it was the action inside (and immediately outside) the ring that surpassed expectations.

This go-round, the WWE went with a new route on Diva Draft picks. Instead of any match during the night putting a Diva up for a switch, it was only Diva matches that made them eligible for the Draft. Unfortunately, since we (like most weeks) were only treated to one Divas match, that meant we only had one girl get drafted tonight. And, for being the solitary Diva drafted during the show, it was a pretty underwhelming choice, in my opinion.

But before we get into the Draft pick, let’s see how it came to be. Michelle McCool and Layla (as always, with Vickie Guerrero) teamed up to represent SmackDown, and rivals Eve Torres and Maryse repped Raw. The winning team, of course, would win a Diva Draft pick for their brand. Watch the match to see which brand is down a Diva:

Most people’s reactions to finding out that Eve and Maryse were teaming centered on shock. Of course, these types of “strange bedfellows” matches have happened before, but not usually with such a tight-knit team as their opponents and with so much at stake. Still, they played it off to perfection, with Maryse breezing right past happy-go-lucky Eve as they made their entrance, even giving her one of the “talk to the hand” gestures as she led the way. Funny though, that they’re still pretty color coordinated.

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(SmackDown Invades) Raw Response: April 19th, 2010

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Tonight’s Raw will… not really be Raw. As you’ve probably read, volcanic ash has grounded European flights, and thus the majority of the Raw brand is stuck overseas. SmackDown will be pinch hitting for them, so expect things to look a little different tonight. Ryan Phillippe, Will Forte and Kristen Wiig from the film “MacGruber” … Read more

Raw Redux (April 12th, 2010): Way Too Quick & Far Too Slow

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So Eve Torres won a Divas Championship shot last week in what was probably the least prestigious win of its kind. That’s not a slight to Eve, though, because the evening gown stipulation dragged the match down like a rusty anchor. Still, it was promising to see an actual championship match made, and we moved on to this week with Eve vs. Maryse in the cards. So, did this match surpass its dress-wrestling origins? Let’s see:

David Hasselhoff introduces the match. Eve makes her way to the ring, and she dances a bit with Hoff. Michael Cole calls this an “interesting” and “unique” way to kick off Raw. I have no idea what that means, because while Divas Championship matches may be rare, they’re not exactly “unique” fare. Maryse is next, and the match starts. Maryse gets things rolling with a vicious slap, prompting a hair-pulling exchange that the referee eventually has to break up. Maryse slips out of the ring and Eve gives chase, meeting a blow from Maryse as soon as she reaches her.

Maryse is showing more aggression than she has in a long, long time. I guess a championship defense will light a fire under anyone’s ass, but it’s nice to see her do more than run away–though she’s still doing that too. She slams Eve’s face onto the apron several times before tossing her back into the ring. Before Maryse can do anything more Eve goes on an offensive streak of her own, whipping Maryse into the corner, charging and getting an elbow to the face. Maryse tries to get in another lick but Eve again turns the tables, hitting a neckbreaker. She positions Maryse on the mat and climbs the turnbuckle, performing a beautiful moonsault.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t meet its mark, as Maryse rolls out of the way. Both Divas lay stagnant on the mat, and I’m pretty sure Eve knocked all the wind out of herself. God, that’s gotta hurt. Maryse laughs at her misfire, slapping her on the back of the head and standing her up for the French Kiss DDT. Even blocks it, though and, with that momentum, rolls Maryse up into an interesting bridge pin. She gets the 3-count and is the new Divas Champion. Eve celebrates while Maryse screams (in agony?).

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Raw Response: April 12th, 2010

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Tonight’s Raw will be hosted by “Baywatch” alum and all-around pop culture phenom David Hasselhoff. The show was pre-taped, so if you’re curious about its goings-on you can view the show’s spoilers here. As always, tune in at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Another Divas Match on Raw?

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Tonight’s Raw guest host, David Hasselhoff posted the following on his Twitter page: Raw tonight Diva triple Match !!! It’s possible that Hasselhoff may just be confused or it could be that there is a triple threat match on Raw tonight in addition to the Divas Championship bout between Eve and Maryse. If so, I’m … Read more

Raw Redux (April 5th, 2010): All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

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Last week’s Raw brought a level of disappointment that made me vow to never again underestimate the WWE’s ability to undervalue the Divas. So, maybe that’s why I’m not as disappointed by Raw as I normally would be. Sure, the match this week was based on a lame and degrading idea, but at this point I’m not expecting anything better.

I’m sure most of you have heard the saying “all dressed up and nowhere to go”, which means, in a fashion, that you’re prepared for something that’s not going to happen. This applies pretty well in this case, as Diva fans, the gluttons for punishment that they are, are continuously hoping for the best. They’re prepared for something interesting, exciting, or at the very least respectable. But if you look at the last few months of booking for the Raw Divas, you would know that it’s not going to happen–at least not anytime soon. Unless they take a hard left turn, it’ll be a while until we’re treated to something that demonstrates that the Raw bookers have an ounce of respect for the Divas. Until then, we’ll be treated to matches like the one that took place tonight. Don’t get me wrong–it wasn’t a trainwreck, but the whole idea of it speaks volumes about the respect (or lack thereof) that the Divas receive. It was close to being a perfectly acceptable match, but one addition, one finishing touch, threw it out of whack. That “touch” was totally unnecessary, and served to pretty much ruin the match for me.

The match in question was a “Dressed to Impress” battle royal, in which the winner would earn a shot at Maryse‘s Divas Championship. That’s a great idea, because we all know that the only thing that could top the awkwardness of a battle royal is a battle royal where the competitors have to wear dresses. Why were they wearing dresses! Why, to fit in with this week’s GM of course! Who is he? I don’t know, but who gives a shit, right? I say bring on the hot mess!

We’re joined at ringside by Maryse, who takes her spot at the commentary table. Surprisingly, each Diva gets her own entrance, which I assume is an effort to show off their fancy dresses. I can’t say I like any of them very much, but I don’t blame them for not pulling out the good duds–you wouldn’t want to risk ruining them when you’re tossed over the top rope. Anywho, we’re joined by Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Rosa Mendes, Jillian, Katie Lea Burchill, Brie and Nikki Bella, and Eve Torres. Maryse trashes all of their looks, but puts special effort into dogging Eve. It’s not secret that she’s going to win this match; she gets the last entrance, a stare down with Maryse, and special emphasis on commentary. If that doesn’t allow you to telegraph Eve’s win from a mile away, you’re just not paying close enough attention.

The match starts and the Divas break off into pairs, all except Rosa, who charges at the Bellas and pretty much jumps out of the ring. It’s a messy exchange, but the Bellas eventually complete what’s left of her journey and heave her over the ropes and out of the ring. Rosa is eliminated. Soon after, Brie and Nikki are eliminated, with Katie Lea and Alicia doing the honors. Brie & Nikki Bella are eliminated.

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Raw Response: April 5th, 2010

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NXT rookie David Otunga is hosting Raw, an honor he earned by winning a battle royal last week. Will he bring along celebrity finance Jennifer Hudson? Find out by watching the show at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (March 29th, 2010): I Shall Never Underestimate the WWE Again

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My thoughts exactly, Mickie.

Now, that title may sound like I actually enjoyed the action from last night’s Raw, but anyone who watched the show would know that that just isn’t possible, unless you enjoy watching acute forms of torture. What I mean by the title is that, like last week, we always claim that the WWE’s treatment of the Raw Divas cannot possibly get any worse. I mean, we go from a 1-minute match to a 50-second match and many of us jokingly suggested that the WWE can do better than that–they can get the matches EVEN shorter! Needless to say, they met that challenge head on and delivered a match that somehow, by the grace of Zeus (who, by the way, I picture looking like Liam Neeson dressed in shimmering armor) was even shorter, more pointless, and an even greater waste of talent and time. Like I said, I’ll never underestimate the WWE again!

Now, getting into the specifics, we started the show with what was obviously an omen for how things were going to go. We are told that tonight, in keeping with the theme of the show, which was hosted by Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from “Hot Tub Time Machine”, we would be treated punished with a hot tub “match”. As it turns out, it was more of a hot tub contest, with the winner being the one who stayed in the hot tub the longest. Tiffany, Rosa Mendes, Brie Bella, and Nikki Bella are sporting bikinis and seated in a rather unhygienic looking hot tub with the night’s hosts.

Now, I know as well as you that the punchline is coming from a mile away–unattractive person enters the hot tub and chases the men away. But still, someone suggests that the winner get a shot at the Divas Championship. Great, because that’s just what we need! It’s been about a year since a man won a Divas-only distinction. We’re due, yes? Obviously, that was not meant to be taken seriously because, as you see, we’d then have Mark Henry challenging Maryse, and I don’t think anyone’s holding their breath in anticipation for that. Oh sorry, did I spoil the ending for you? Sorry. Watch the “contest” below and try to enjoy it regardless:

PART 1

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Raw Response: March 29th, 2010

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Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from this past week’s movie release “Hot Tub Time Machine” host Raw tonight. Check in for all the WrestleMania fallout by watching the show at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (March 22nd, 2010): A Waste of 50 Seconds & 10 Women

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This week’s Raw brought up a lot of questions, none of which relate to anticipation towards WrestleMania or the future of the Divas division. The questions were more akin to “Why did I watch all of Raw for a 50 second match?” and “What’s on HBO? (Answer: Spider-Man)“. Needless to say, tonight’s events were a bit of a mind boggling clusterfuck, and not just because there were approximately 34 Divas at ringside for the match of varying brand loyalty. After last week’s 1-minute long match, I jokingly suggested on Twitter that this week’s match try and beat that “record”. Sadly, I believe they did, and in quite an embarrassing fashion, too. Behold:


skip to 4:50

We begin in a promising, though confusing fashion, with Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, and Eve Torres in the ring with Mickie James (welcome back!) and Kelly Kelly at ringside. It’s pretty interesting to see Beth alongside the “good girls”, not to mention in the mix of Raw at all. Then come Maryse, Michelle McCool, and Layla, flanked by Vickie Guerrero and Alicia Fox. It’s a bit confusing, this brand crossover, especially since they haven’t even explained why it’s happening yet. This specific scenario seems like way too many “cooks in the kitchen”, in a manner of speaking, but if they were putting so many Divas at ringside at once, something interesting has to happen, right? Or so you’d think..

Gail and Michelle start off the match for their teams, Michelle kicking things off with a kick (*rimshot*), wrenching Gail’s arm. Gail twists is back and nails Michelle with the back of her elbow. She leaps up and hits a frankensteiner, nailing Michelle in the corner, trading blows with her through the ropes. She leaps over the ropes and nails Michelle with a clothesline, going for the pin and getting a 2-count. Gail preps for the Eat Defeat but Layla distracts her, allowing Michelle to go for a leg sweep. Gail counters it into a pin, but Michelle flips the pin into one of her own, but instead holding Gail and switching into a standing position, nailing the Faith Breaker in a clever reversal. She gets the pin and the win for her team.

And just like that, it’s over. Lasting a whopping 50 seconds (Beating last week’s speed record by 10 seconds; what is this, a luge race?), this is apparently what we get when we have 10 women at ringside in a cross-brand exchange on the very last Raw before WrestleMania. Was it a victim of poor time management by the WWE or just a resounding lack of effort by the bookers? It really felt like a segment with ambitions of taking up 10 minutes that was snipped down to a 1 measly minute. Either way, it’s embarrassing and makes you wonder why they even tried. It’s embarrassing and awkward for all the Divas to mosey on out to the ring, only to be worthy of a minute of screen time. I mean, what was the point of putting them all out there, besides getting some meager face time? And, by the way, why haven’t they even EXPLAINED what the SmackDown girls are fucking doing on Raw in the first place??

What message does that send when the promos building up to the John Cena/Batista “face off” lasted longer than this whole segment? Clearly, like we’ve been saying for what seems like forever, the Divas are on a whole different level of priority to the WWE’s writers. That is to say, Cena and Dave are on the top floor, and the Divas are somewhere underneath the floorboards.

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