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Raw Redux (January 18th, 2010) – The “Final Four” or Friendly Competition?

With last week featuring two Divas Championship Tournament matches, one would think that the WWE were going full-speed ahead with the tourny. However, this week brought a halt to it, so to speak, because the WWE felt fit to press pause on the tournament in order to feature a tag team match with the remaining four Divas. Gail Kim and Eve Torres took on Maryse and Alicia Fox in something that shouldn’t really make sense in the context of the tournament. Watch and draw your own conclusions about whether or not it was unnecessary:

Gail and Maryse start out the match, with Gail immediately outsmarting Maryse and rolling her up into a pin. Maryse kicks out at 2 and is whipped into the corner, receiving Gail’s shoulder attack. Gail slips out of the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, hitting a sit-down dropkick and going for another pin, still getting 2. Maryse reverses an irish-whip, sending Gail into the ropes. When she gets close enough, Alicia grabs her by the hair, and Gail takes a wild swing at her, which she ducks. Maryse lands a well-placed boot that sends Gail flying out of the ring. Alicia attacks her on the outside, slamming her head against the floor before tossing her back into the ring.

Maryse brings Gail to her feet, hitting her with a forearm before planting her with a backbreaker. She goes for the pin and gets a 2-count. Maryse grabs a handful of Gail’s hair and brings her to the corner, tagging in Alicia. Maryse hits a snapmare on Gail and she and Alicia lift her up from either side, slamming her down onto her back. Gail gets to her feet and battles back at Alicia until she’s taken out with another backbreaker (it looked like she did 75% of the work too, flipping into it like she did). Alicia goes for the pin, and Gail kicks out at 2.

While Gail gathers herself Alicia preps for her scissors kick. However, Gail moves at the last moment and likely gives Alicia a mean charley horse. Gail moves to a corner into which Alicia charges, but she moves and lets her get a face full of turnbuckle. Gail springs to her own corner and tags in Eve. Eve goes on a blast of offense, whipping Alicia into a corner and charging, but getting a boot to the face. Alicia comes running out of the corner but Eve halts her with an armdrag. She hits a dropkick (which we can only assume Alicia was selling out of habit rather than impact) and another (this one making contact). She clotheslines Alicia and hits her somersault splash and goes for the pin. The referee double-checks Alicia’s shoulders (kudos, ref!), so Alicia only stays down for a 1-count.

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Raw Response: January 18th, 2010

Actors Don Johnson and Jon Heder are co-hosting Raw tonight. Tune in for one (or two, if we’re lucky) Divas Championship Tournament semi-final matches and what are sure to be a ton of cheap plugs for “When in Rome”. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (January 11th, 2010) – Split in Two

With two spots left in the semi-finals, the Raw Divas soldiered on with the Divas Championship tournament, competing in two matches. After last week’s two tournament openers (one on Raw, the other on Superstars), would the underwhelming feeling improve with this weeks bouts? Let’s see.. The first bout of the night featured Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox battling to go on to the next round:

Kelly makes her entrance, dressed in Maria’s leftover fabric scraps and shoes that are definitely not meant for athletic competition. You’re just asking for a sprained ankle with those skater shoes, girl.. Alicia follows, and the match starts with a rough tie-up. Kelly backs Alicia into the ropes, and the referee gets between them (literally) to break it up. Alicia takes this pause in the match to blast Kelly with a forearm, kneeing her and tossing her into the corner. She smashes her face into the turnbuckle a few times before hitting a snapmare.

Alicia keeps her grasp on Kelly’s hair, latching her into a sleeper hold. She makes a grab for her nose, wrenching Kelly’s face and switching the hold to the mat, keeping her locked in. Alicia shows some great aggression with this, the hold punctuated by Kelly’s screams. Kelly might overdo the screaming most of the time, but it’s moments like these that they’re effective. Kelly fights to get free, and Alicia moves back onto her knees, not letting go. Kelly eventually gets to her feet, punching Alicia in the stomach and freeing herself from the hold.

Still, Alicia reclaims control, irish-whipping Kelly into the corner. Kelly stops herself with the top turnbuckle, attempting a hurricanrana on Alicia, but she catches Kelly’s legs and tosses her over the ropes onto the ring apron. Alicia goes for the attack, but Kelly lands a forearm, grabbing her and pulling her over the ropes. Alicia lands on the outside, and Kelly hits a crossbody from the ring apron, then quickly tossing Alicia back into the ring. Kelly goes on her textbook offense (press the up arrow and triangle on PS3 to trigger it), punctuated by a long, twirly hurricanrana. She attempts a frankensteiner, but Alicia stops her momentum, turning it into a sick powerbomb, folding up Kelly into a pin. She gets the 3-count and advances in the tournament! She will face Maryse next week in the semi-finals.

Needless to say, I was extremely surprised to see Alicia win. I was pretty confident in the fact that the WWE wanted to push Kelly as the top babyface, given the great crowd reactions she gets and the fact that they use her in their marketing more than any other Diva. That’s not to say that I’m not happy with Alicia winning–I was rooting for her, in fact. I’m glad that she won, and I feel that she’s much more deserving of the Divas Championship than Kelly. It’s a little strange to think that, given how much longer Kelly’s been in the WWE. Most are aware that the girls were hired at the same time, though, and Alicia just spent her time training in the developmental system while Kelly did stripteases on ECW.

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Former Diva Backstage at Raw

A former WWE Diva and Women’s Champion was present backstage at last night’s Raw in Minneapolis. Molly Holly, a Minnesota native, was visiting friends while the troupe were in town reports PWTorch. Molly has been on good terms with WWE since semi-retiring in 2005. She returned last year for the Miss WrestleMania battle royal at … Read more

Raw Response: January 11th, 2010

Tonight boxing legend Mike Tyson makes his return to the wrestling ring, serving as this week’s guest GM. Also, expect to see the Divas Championship tournament continue with another first round match. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (January 4th, 2010) – Maryse Starts Her Victory Tour

If last night was any indication, the WWE better start watching their backs. No, I’m not talking about the competing returns of Bret Hart and Hulk Hogan–I’m talking about the Divas vs. the Knockouts. Both live shows saw action from them, and I believe (and, from what I can tell, this is the consensus) the Knockouts provided the more entertaining wrestling. No, this Raw Redux will not serve to bash the Divas. Rather, it will be an explanation of how they can amp up the excitement in order to avoid being upstaged by the competition again in the future, should such a “Monday Night War” occur again.

The show certainly started with some promise. With Melina‘s ACL tear (and the fact that she will be out at least until July), it was sort of a “take lemons and make lemonade” situation–with Melina forced to vacate the Divas Championship, it gave way to an 8-Diva Divas Championship Tournament. Tonight marked the start of the tournament, with the opening bout pitting the self-crowned #1 contender Maryse against Brie Bella. Watch below to see who advanced in the tourny:

I appreciate that the WWE actually acknowledged Melina’s injury on screen. I mean, they didn’t have much of a choice, but it’s leagues better than the “battling depression” excuse they used for Maryse’s 2009 absence.

Maryse makes her entrance, as does Brie (with sister Nikki in tow). As they are dressed exactly alike–Nikki in tights–it’s quite obvious that they’ll try to pull the old Bella switcheroo. I wish there were a less obvious way to pull it off, I guess it’s easier to assume that the officials are idiots. They start the match with a tie-up, Maryse taking advantage and forcing Brie against the ropes. Maryse gets a handful of hair and the referee makes her back off. She does, but not before pie-facing Brie. Brie doesn’t take this insult lying down, chasing Maryse and stopping her from escaping the the outside.

Brie backs off and Maryse exits to the ring apron, trotting on it and doing her hair flip. Brie has enough and drags her back into the ring, batting her in the face for a bit of payback for the facial delivered earlier. She tosses Maryse into the corner and works on her a bit before Maryse shoves her off. Brie delivers a kick to the midsection, tossing her around the ring a a few times by the hair before hitting a leaping snapmare. One dropkick later and Maryse heads for the outside again, looking for some separation via the ropes. Maryse obviously is lacking in peripheral vision, as she doesn’t notice Nikki right beside her, and Nikki grabs her by the hair, slamming her face-first into the announce table.

Brie returns Maryse to the ring, rolling her up for a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at 2 and takes advantage of the match the moment she gets to her feet, delivering a few blows to Brie before irish-whipping her into the ropes. Brie kicks Maryse on the return, running the ropes and ducking a haymaker from Maryse. She attempts to leap on the ropes but can’t quit get the momentum to get there, but Maryse covers the botch well by attacking her immediately, hitting her on the back and sending her to the mat. Maryse attempts a pin, but gets a 2-count.

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Raw Response: January 4th, 2009

Hall of Famer, Bret Harts returns to host the first Raw of 2010, tonight. With Melina injured, how will WWE tackle the Divas Championship situation? Will she say a tearful goodbye and relinquish the belt? Will she compete and drop the title? Will there even be a new champion crowned? Discuss the show in the … Read more

Natalya Scheduled for Monday’s Raw

SmackDown Diva, Natalya and her fellow Hart Dynasty team mates will be appearing on Raw this coming Monday as the show will be hosted by Nattie’s uncle, Bret Hart. With Melina expected to relinquish the Divas Championship on Monday night, it would be momentous to see Natalya shockingly take the title, wouldn’t it? Especially on … Read more

Raw Redux (December 28th, 2009) – Maryse: “Je Suis la Prochain Championne”

It seems as though last week’s Santa’s Little Helpers match actually had some bearing on the future, as apparently Kelly Kelly‘s pin on Maryse has led to a match between the two this week. Will it be better than last week’s short skirt convention? There’s only one way to find out: Maryse starts the match, … Read more

Random Observations from Last Night’s Raw

The random observations column is back with a bang, as I take you through Raw by way of my brain! * Gail Bella, anyone? All she needed really was a matching outfit. * Speaking of her outfit, I can’t help but feel there may have been a little more on show than just her legs … Read more

Raw Redux (December 21st, 2009) – It’s the Most Pointless Time of the Year

As we all have become accustomed, this is the time of the year where folks sing carols, wrap presents, and the Divas amount to nothing more than skimpy red costumes. So we saw this coming, and it shouldn’t be surprise that this week’s Raw was absolutely pointless. In what has become an annual thing, Melina, … Read more

Raw Response: December 21st, 2009

Tonight’s Raw is hosted by New York Yankee, Johnny Damon. Will his role in the show lead to a baseball-themed gimmick match for the Divas? Will we get a Christmas-themed gimmick match? Discuss the show in the comments! Join us later tonight for the Post-Raw Show with Steven & Tiffany!

Raw Redux (December 14th, 2009) – What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Last night’s Raw, in all its bloated 3 hour glory, was the annual Slammy Awards edition. Among the awards to be handed out were Diva of the Year, which was to be voted on by the fans at WWE.com. As we waited on pins and needles (not) to find out who won the award, we pondered whether the award would be given to support a storyline via rigging by the WWE or a popularity contest held by the voting public. As is turns out, it was neither, and I’ll explain my theory as we come to it.

We start our Divas action (not counting the Divas presenting awards throughout the night) with a Jerry Springer-esque evening gown tag team match. The babyfaces–Mickie James, Melina, Brie & Nikki Bella, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria are taking on the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes. Most look out of place and trashy in their gowns, and I would critique them (I’ll save that for this week’s Style Jury), but I’m much more distracted by the fact that they’re WRESTLING IN EVENING GOWNS. Well, this’ll be one mesmerizing clusterfuck:


Skip to 2:52

They start with a line-up face-off, trading verbal barbs before heading off their their respective corners. Mickie and Rosa start off the match, Rosa takign advantage and tossing Mickie around, pounding her head on the mat. They trade slaps, and Rosa tosses Mickie into the corner. Mickie blocks her attack, locking her head with her legs and hitting a hurricanrana. She then pulls her to her feet, hitting her Mickie-T to get the pin an the win for her team.

I have to say, this is one of the few moments where I’m glad that a Diva match was cut short. I’m glad that no more than two Divas had to humiliate themselves by wrestling in their dresses. Mickie and Rosa did as awkwardly as I expected, but hey, someone had to take the bullet. Now that the match is over, it’s time for the Diva of the Year Slammy to be awarded. The girls line up in anticipation as MVP and Goldust present the award.

Our winner is announced as, drumroll please…. Maria??? MVP’s reaction right before he reads her name says it all, and Maria looks as shocked as the rest of us as she goes up to accept her award, saying a typical acceptance speech before being interrupted by Batista in a douche costume, doing a Kanye West impression that’s not only awful but over 3 months old. If the joke were a carton of milk, it would have expired into a living organism at this point and, ironically, would be more worthy of a Diva of the Year award than Maria. Maria plays Taylor Swift as she left the stage and allowed Dave to be “escorted” off by security.

But as we watch the wild pink-polo-wearing douchebag be captured in his natural habitat, we’re left to ponder the reasoning behind this decision to crown Maria as Diva of the Year. Was is it truly a popularity contest, and she was just the most popular Diva among the fans? Or was it rigged for storyline purposes? As I said earlier, I believe it was neither, because I have a theory. Yes, Maria is popular, and I do not doubt that fans flocked to vote for her in the poll, but I don’t believe her star power amongst the casual fans is that much stronger than, say, a Mickie James or a Kelly Kelly.

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Raw Redux (December 7th, 2009) – A (Relative) Smörgåsbord of Divas

With Maryse two weeks into her return, fans have been less than impressed with her all-around performance. Her return was more head-scratching than anything else and her match last week didn’t show her in-ring skills as much as a more refined affinity to sneak out a win. Will she continue on that path this week, or will we see a more ring-focused Maryse?

We start our night seeing that Kelly Kelly has been handed the duty of announcing the night’s first Divas match. I’m not all the surprised that they saddled Kelly with this random job, since the WWE has a tendency to stick Divas in announcing positions when they don’t know what else to do with them. We’ll see if this becomes a regular thing or was just a plot device to bring in Melina post-match.

The match in question is Gail Kim vs. Maryse. I’m psyched to see Gail get some one-on-one action, as she’s usually stuck in tag team matches (aside from the odd Superstars match). Let’s see if she can pull some good things out what’s so far been a lackluster return angle for Maryse:

The match starts off with a requisite show of arrogance by Maryse–she actually shoves Gail by the head twice. Gail seems to keep her annoyance in check until she spears Maryse to the mat, pounding on her until she’s shoved off. Maryse darts to safety at the other side of the ring, but Gail keeps on her, tossing her by the hair and whipping her into the ropes. Maryse hangs on to the ropes, but Gail drags her back to the middle of the ring by a leg, making Maryse hop along. Gail tosses Maryse’s leg aside, spinning her, and then slamming her down with a hard clothesline.

Maryse crawls to the corner, and once she’s to her feet, Gail charges at her, slipping out of the ring and back in under the ropes, out-smarting Maryse and rolling her up into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at two and wanders to the next corner, only to be sandwiched into it by a flying Gail. Maryse drops to her butt, and Gail proceeds to drive her knee into her neck, using her standing leverage to apply the pressure. Gail eventually backs off and Maryse gets to her feet, simply slapping Gail in the face in rebuttal.

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Raw Response: December 7th, 2009

Tonight’s Raw is hosted by eccentric entrepreneur and the Dallas Maverick’s owner Mark Cuban. Discuss tonight’s show in the comments below! If you have a Twitter account, feel free to tweet us your feedback on the show–we’ll be retweeting the best ones!!

Raw Redux (November 30th, 2009) – The Greeks Take Troy (Again)

Following Maryse‘s turkey-costumed return, fans came to a general consensus that it was pretty disappointing. But with this week came the opportunity to add some legitimacy to this blossoming feud. Would Maryse deliver, or would she–like the turkey she disguised herself as–not even get off the ground?

We begin the night with an entrance by Melina and Gail Kim. The feed cuts to Maryse and Jillian walking backstage, only to be stopped by Josh Matthews, asking Maryse what provoked her to attack Melina last week:

She explained her motives as this: Melina was holding her Divas title (not that Mickie held the title long before Melina and actually won it from Maryse in the first place) and provided a Trojan Horse, which for Melina turned out to be the turkey. I don’t want to go all history nerd and explain the many ways in which that makes no sense, but really.. I know the common usage of the Trojan Horse metaphor is with a “any trick that causes a target to invite a foe into a securely protected bastion or place”, in reference to the tale of the Greeks hiding inside of a giant horse that they left outside the gates of Troy, which when brought inside the gates (as a victory trophy) allowed them to overtake the city at night and win what has been a 10-year siege. But is the WWE ring really considered a securely protected place? Maybe the fact that Melina let the Gobbledy Gooker stand behind her qualifies as that, but that’s stretching it quite a bit. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t accepting the Trojan Horse (and ignoring the warnings of others) a sign of vanity? They believed that the Greeks were surrendering and accepted their “victory trophy” without suspicion, and were ambushed and slaughtered for doing so. I doubt Maryse was preyinf on Melina’s vanity with her scheme.

Either way you look at it, Maryse’s metaphor oversold the thing to a ridiculous level. It actually managed to make it look even more stupid, as she (AKA the WWE’s writers) tried to sell it as some mastermind’s trick. However, when the trick involves one party dressing up in a Gobbledy Gooker suit, I think trying to make it look like any sort of “master plan” is more foolish than the idea itself.

But enough of that. Maryse says “gobble gobble” to Josh (which I guess serves as a goodbye), which Jillian sings in repetition, and the two head to the ring. Melina and Gail’s reaction to this says it all, mouthing “wow” to each other a few times. As Maryse and Jillian make their entrance, Michael Cole recaps how Maryse lost the Divas Championship at Night of Champions and–rumor has it–when into a state of depression following her loss. What a crappy excuse.. I mean, is it really that hard to just say she got injured–which she actually did? All that does is perpetuate the stereotype of the “fragile woman”. Though, Maryse’s character is approximately 99% vanity, so such a blow to her ago could probably crush her in such a way. But still, around 5 months on the shelf due to depression? That’s treating pretty lightly what in real life is a big deal–a serious mental illness. But I guess, as we’ve seen several times already this night, analyzing the WWE’s motives is a lost cause.

I really need to stop sidetracking this thing. Let’s get on to the match.

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Raw Response: November 30th, 2009

Tonight’s Raw is hosted by actor Verne Troyer of Austin Powers fame. Discuss tonight’s show in the comments below! If you have a Twitter account, feel free to tweet us your feedback on the show–we’ll be retweeting the best ones!!