Back in the 1920s, showbiz had a slang term for a failure or flop: they’d call it a turkey*. Fitting, given the failures we witnessed tonight on this Thanksgiving episode of Raw where a certain Diva went so far as to dress in a turkey costume for her big return. So, was it cleverly self-referential or just a bad idea? I think we know the answer to that, but just in case let’s watch the situation unfold and decide for ourselves:
Predictably, the Divas have dressed up for a “Mayflower Melee”, AKA Thanksgiving-themed 6-Diva tag match. The faces–Mickie James, Melina, and Kelly Kelly–are decked out in (*cough* super un-P.C. *cough*) Native American garb, while the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, and Jillian–are Pilgrims. All look pretty ridiculous, even Kelly, who apparently decided to put on a tan dress and some Nikes and call it a day. But hey, at least she doesn’t look like she’s doing a Kindergarten Thanksgiving play like Michelle & co. I must say, I love how pissed they looked to be dressed in those Pilgrim costumes. At least they’re acknowledging how lame the idea is, unlike so many times in the past.
Before the match starts they are joined by the guest time keeper, the Gobbledy Gooker! …You know, the giant turkey that hatched on live television in what was known as one of the biggest “WTF” moments in WWE history? I guess since they had two Thanksgiving cliches represented, they decided to go for the trifecta. Gooker stands in the corner and awkwardly rings the bell, signaling the start of the match.
Melina and Jillian start out the match, probably praying that they can scrub off some of the bad mojo they’ve had with each other as of late. They start with a tie-up, Melina getting the upper hand by wrenching Jillian’s arm. Jillian gains control, slamming Melina to the mat. Melina reverses an irish-whip into the corner, sending Jillian into the turnbuckle and proceeding to send a shoulder into her stomach. She lays Jillian across the second ropes, prepping her a double-knee attack. Before she can do it, however, Jillian yanks her by her dress, pulling her to the mat. She tosses Melina by the hair and taunts the crowd a bit.
Jillian whips Melina into the ropes but Melina hangs on. Before she can do anything, though, Jillian meets her with an elbow to the face. She whips Melina into the turnbuckle, prepping for her handspring elbow attack. Before she can do any damage, Melina catches her with her legs, choking her and chopping her on the head. Once back on their feet Melina takes down Jillian with a (almost malfunctioned) facebuster. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out.
