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Raw Response: March 15th, 2010

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WWE legend Stone Cold Steve Austin host Raw tonight. Tune in for what’s sure to be a “stunning” night *rimshot*. As always, watch the show at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (March 8th, 2010): All About Eve

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After last week’s moving tribute to womankind, I was bracing myself for the worst with this week’s show. Surprisingly, the WWE decided to put on a straight wrestling match rather than mold the Divas action to guest GM Criss Angel’s gimmick, and for that I’m grateful. But was the match anything to write home about? Let’s see:

Eve Torres, Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly make their way to the ring for a 6-Diva Tag Team match. I guess it’s been a while since we’ve seen one of those, though I haven’t really missed them.. Already in the ring are Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Katie Lea. Scrimping for time, I guess, but that’s nothing new..

Alicia and Gail start things off, Alicia latching Gail into a belly-to-back hold. Gail gets free and locks Alicia into a side headlock. Alicia tries to lift Gail up and gain the advantage, but Gail whips her to the mat, still holding onto the headlock. Alicia frees herself with a few jabs and whips Gail into the corner, charging. Gail slips through the ropes and the two trade blows before Gail leaps out of the way of a shoulder attack, landing in a straddling position on the back on Alicia’s neck. She tosses Alicia back into the ring, but Alicia regains control and whips again her into the same corner. Again, Gail blocks an attack and climbs the turnbuckle. However, instead of attacking Alicia she hits a charging Katie Lea with a flying clothesline, knocking her off the ring apron.

Gail turns her attention back to Alicia and gets a face full of boot. Alicia goes for the pin, getting a 2-count. She takes Gail to her corner and Maryse, for a moment, motions for Alicia to pound Gail’s head into her boot, but she decides against it, for whatever reason, opting instead to be tagged in. Maryse his a back breaker on Gail and goes for a pin, but Gail kicks out. She slaps Gail on the head, looking more like she’s messing up her hair rather than actually striking her. She then knocks Kelly off of the apron. Maryse gets in Gail’s face and gets slapped, getting a taste of her own medicine. Gail springs to life and tags in Eve.

Eve goes on a string of offense, getting a 2-count on Maryse. A poke in the eyes gives Maryse temporary control, until Eve nails Maryse with a kick off the ropes. She hits her somersault splash and goes for the pin, but Alicia and Katie Lea break it up. Actually, they were slowpokes and Maryse had to kick out before the referee counted 3. Get the lead out, ladies! The two of them grab Eve and slam her onto the turnbuckle. The referee, meanwhile, does nothing to stop this. A blatant 3-on-1 and all you’re gonna do is act surprised? Okay..

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Raw Response: March 8th, 2010

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Tonight’s episode of Raw is hosted by the mind freak himself, Criss Angel. Will he convince us last week’s Pajama Pillowfight was just an illusion? Tune in at 9/8ct on USA Network to find out. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (March 1st, 2010): Welcome to Women’s History Month, Folks

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Well, now that we’ve gotten past that pesky Divas Championship Tournament, it’s time to set the division back several years and have a good old fashioned pajama pillow fight. Of course, this is in keeping with this week’s guest GMs, Cheech and Chong, not that their names are synonymous with pajamas or pillow fights. I’m just guessing the Divas sitting in a circle and passing around a bong wouldn’t have been in keeping with their PG rating. But of course, the Divas looking all jailbait-y while bouncing up and down and fighting with pillows is totally PG, right? Shh.. it’s not supposed to make sense.

Speaking of sense, it’s fantastic that the WWE is starting off Women’s History Month with a sufficiently degrading match. Nothing like celebrating the accomplishments and advancement of women like making them boner-fodder for Cheech and Chong. And it’s only March 1st, people! There’s a whole month left! I can only hope a water balloon fight is next.

Watch the “match” below:

Guest GMs Cheech and Chong come to the ring, make a few jokes about how high they are, and introduce the Divas. The babyfaces come first, with Kelly Kelly leading out Gail Kim and Eve Torres. Next, appropriately, they introduce the heels as “the.. other ones!”. The other ones (also known as Maryse [I wouldn’t bring the Divas Title out for this shitfest either, girl], Alicia Fox, and Jillian) make their way to the ring. I kinda of appreciate how serious Alicia looks. With something as silly and degrading as this, it kind of takes the sting out to see the heels show how “over” this they are. Cheech and Chong seat themselves in recliners at ringside.

Maryse takes a long moment to pose for the crowd, and the rest of the Divas gang up on her. Soon this alliance breaks down and Jillian just decides to clothesline everyone. I admire her tenacity–while everyone else looks silly fighting with down feathers, she just decides to mow everyone over. She then pounds every Diva with a pillow and belts out a celebratory high note. Kelly stuffs her pillow in her face to stop the sound and hits a sloppy looking K2–bare feet don’t provide the best traction, after all. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out at 2.

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Raw Response: March 1st, 2010

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Pot comedy legends Cheech and Chong are hosting Raw tonight. Tune in for weed jokes a plenty and Maryse’s first Raw as the new Divas Champion. Discuss the show in the comments!

Rosa Mendes Moves Back to Raw

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As seen last night on WWE Superstars, Rosa Mendes is now once again part of the Raw roster along with Zack Ryder. I mentioned in the Diva Draft: Extreme Edition that it wouldn’t really matter which brand they were on because they’d end up staples of Superstars and look what we have here. I’d have … Read more

Raw Redux (Feb. 22nd, 2010) – What Took You So Long?

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The bait and switch pulled at the Elimination Chamber PPV led many of us to believe that the WWE had bigger plans for the Divas Championship tournament finals. Perhaps a lengthier feud to build up such an important match? No, as it turns out, because they finally decided to have the match on a regular old ordinary episode of Raw. Watch the match below and see if it was worth all the wait:

It definitely surprised me when the Divas Championship logo passed over the screen. But I think, more than surprise, I felt relief–finally this tournament is over! Maryse makes her entrance, and Gail Kim follows. It is mentioned how badly Maryse treated Gail in their tag team match the night before, but other than that this doesn’t feel like something that has been built up over numerous weeks. It feels more like the beginning of a feud; one that started at the PPV last night. At any rate, I’m glad to see this match finally happening. Let’s get on with it.

Maryse goes for the attack at the start of the match, but Gail slips past her, catching her in a belly-to-back hold. Maryse strikes Gail to get free, but the next blow is missed, and Gail rolls Maryse into a pin. Maryse quickly kicks out. Maryse reversed an irish whip into the corner and charges at Gail, but Gail slips out through the ropes, allowing Maryse to run full on into the turnbuckle. Gail blocks a few attacks from Maryse and leaps back over the ropes, continuing the momentum into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at 2.

Gail goes on a string of offense, Maryse beginning to look sluggish. It’s only until Gail tries to bash her head against the turnbuckle that Maryse retaliates. She blocks it with her boot and hits Gail’s head against the target instead. She tosses Gail in over the ropes, but Gail quickly reverses momentum into an attempt at the Eat Defeat, but Maryse holds onto the ropes, blocking the move. She kicks Gail across the face and goes for the pin, getting a 2-count.

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Raw Response: February 22nd, 2010

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Tonight’s Raw will be hosted by singer Jewel and her husband, bull-riding champion Ty Murray. The Divas Championship tournament finals may take place tonight, but you should all know by now to not hold your breath waiting for it! Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (Feb. 15th, 2010) – The Mystery of the Missing Divas Championship Tournament

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If last week’s Raw was lacking in terms of build-up to the Divas Championship Tournament finals, this week was downright moronic. With Maryse and Gail Kim‘s long-delayed match still set for this Sunday’s Elimination Chamber PPV, one would be safe to assume that there would be at least some build up for it on the last Raw before the show. Just a little? Maybe even merely acknowledging it? Well, keep your hopes at ground level, kids, because the WWE disappointment machine was on full power this week:

Guest GM Jerry Springer comes to the ring for a special show entitled “WWE Superstars’ Most Intimate Relationship Secrets Revealed”. If you’ve ever seen Springer’s show, you know that it only features the trashiest of the trashy (think topless midget fights), so this was never destined to be flattering for any individual involved. Springer introduces Kelly Kelly, whose secret is that she’s pregnant! Yep, she must be early along, because we all know nothing says pregnant like washboard abs and a belly-baring top. She tells Jerry that she doesn’t know who the father is, in a move more akin to Maury Povich’s show than Springer. But whatever, just go with it. All you need to know is that Kelly is the village bicycle.

She brings out the first possible father, Santino. He calls Jerry Maury and details the situation that he thinks got Kelly knocked up. Kelly then tells him that she needed someone else to “finish the job”. It’s at this moment that I wonder what happened to the WWE’s PG aspirations. I guess they go out the window when someone like Springer’s on the show. Still, I’d be pissed if I were a parent who brought my kid to the show.

She says she needed someone with more experience, and this prompts Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler to be brought into the mix. A few dry heaves later, Brie and Nikki Bella come out with a revelation of their own. They say they saw someone else with Kelly, and Nikki breaks in to announce that Brie is a man. They catfight, Springer style. After the fight is broken up, the next possible baby daddy is brought out, and Chris Masters enters. In response to this, Eve Torres comes busting in with her best impression of a Springer guest, trash talking Kelly for “stealing her man” and fighting with her. She then reveals to Chris that she had cheated on him with the Great Khali, who comes to the ring and embraces her. The craziness simmers down, and Jerry reads the results of the paternity test, revealing the father of Kelly’s 3-day old fetus. Science has come a long way, eh?

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Raw Response: February 15th, 2010

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Talk show host and all around trash magnet Jerry Springer is hosting Raw tonight. Keep a look out for build up to Maryse and Gail’s match at this Sunday’s Elimination Chamber. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (February 8th, 2010) – An Afterthought

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For weeks we’ve been following the Divas Championship tournament, with all its stops and starts. Two weeks ago we finally made the match-up for the finals, but getting to that match has been harder than it seems. Many of us want the WWE to just get it over with, as it’s been obvious from the start that Maryse will be walking away with the title. Thus, it’s been some acute form of torture to see the WWE stretch this thing out as long as possible. This week was no different, and on top of it we got some bad good news: the finals will be taking place in less than two weeks at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Until then, we’ve got two Raws to fill, and you better believe it that the WWE will give it as little build up as possible:

See? We’ve been treated to a random match between Gail Kim and Jillian, which kind of sneaks up on us because no one was given an entrance, and the match wasn’t even announced. Hey, they’ve gotta free up time for all the Shawn Michaels angst and John Cena beatdown replays! Maryse, of course, is on commentary, making this impending finals match-up even more of a laughing stock. You’d think the WWE would get that doing it this way makes it look like Maryse is the champion, scouting her challenger in Gail. I’m sure they notice, but just don’t give a shit.

In the ring, Gail and Jillian start with a tie-up, Jillian taking control and backing Gail up against the ropes. Gail slips through the ropes, falling to the outside. Jillian tosses her back into the ring and goes for a pin, getting a 1-count. She whips Gail into the corner and gets an elbow to the face when she goes for an attack. Gail climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, but Jillian sweeps her feet and knocks her all the way to the mat. Another pin, another 1-count.

Meanwhile, on commentary, Maryse talks about how much more sophisticated Raw Divas are in contrast to what’s been going on on SmackDown with Mickie James. Complain about the fat jokes all you want, Maryse, but at least they’re given more than 3 minutes of screen time. Maybe the Raw Divas should start having food fights.. Jillian pounds Gail’s head onto the mat and hoists her up, but Gail slips free, hitting the Eat Defeat. She pins Jillian for the win.

The match, which was literally ONE MINUTE long, was as good as any match could be with such a ridiculous time limit. I give boatloads of credit to Jillian and Gail for making such a joke of a match interesting and fun with what little they were given. Funny, though, that the post-match promo was longer than the match itself. Maryse, get priority? Never!!

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Raw Response: February 8th, 2010

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NASCAR driver Carl Edwards is hosting Raw tonight live from Louisiana, the home state of the Super Bowl champs. There is no Divas Championship Tournament final scheduled for the show, so expect more build up towards the eventual match (perhaps at the Elimination Chamber PPV on February 21st?) Discuss the show in the comments! EDIT: … Read more

Raw Response: February 1st, 2010

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Tonight’s Raw guest GM is Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner. Also, tune in for the finals of the Divas Championship tournament, pitting Maryse vs. Gail Kim (read our predictions here). Discuss the show in the comments! EDIT: Since the match (which I’m 99.9% sure was actually scheduled for the show) didn’t take place, use the … Read more

Divas Title Match on Raw

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Fresh from crowning a new Women’s Champion, WWE will crown a new Divas Champion tonight as Gail Kim and Maryse compete in the finals of the Divas Championship tournament tonight on Raw. The Divas Title was vacated one month ago when former champion, Melina suffered an injury at a house show.

Raw Redux (January 25th, 2010) – The Clock’s Ticking…

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Last week we were caught a bit off guard when the WWE decided to hold a tag team match instead of the semi-finals of the Divas Championship Tournament. It seemed to me back then that it would suck out what little momentum the tournament already had, but did it? Let’s take a look at this week’s action–two semi-finals matches–and see if the tournament has any momentum left going into the finals.

First up we have Maryse and Eve Torres in their semi-final match. Maryse gets on the microphone, telling the other Divas in the tournament that they are “just wasting their time”, and that she is most certainly going to win the Divas Championship. The Divas could have known this weeks ago if they only read Diva Dirt, but I suppose the point is made clearer when spoken in French. She is interrupted by guest GM Dulé Hill (of “Psyche” fame) messing with the pyrotechnics. He blasts the entrance ramp with pyro, and Maryse has a few choice words for him. It’s funny, and Hill provides a good foil for Maryse’s bitchy anger (he was also a good foil for another Diva’s wrath, but we’ll get to that later). Finally, Eve makes her entrance and the match starts:

They start with a tie-up, Eve delivering a few blows to Maryse and backing her into the corner. She continues with this dominance until the ref separates them. Maryse then slaps her across the face and goes for another, but Eve ducks and hits a dropkick, going for the pin. Maryse kicks out, and Michael Cole remarks how Eve winning would be a “mild upset”. Try total upset, Cole, you and me both know there ain’t no way Maryse is losing.

Maryse whips Eve into the ropes, but Eve stops her own momentum and delivers a kick to the face. She bounces off the ropes once more and slams Maryse to the mat hair first (maybe head first, but Maryse’s weave is looking mighty long these days..). Eve hits her somersault splash and attempts a pin, Maryse kicking out at 2. Maryse seeks refuge in the corner, but Eve sandwiches her with a flying clothesline, planting her to the mat with a scoop slam. She climbs to the top rope (Maryse casually~ getting into position), going for a moonsault that doesn’t connect. Maryse rolls out of the way just in time, and Eve eats mat.

Maryse looks to take advantage of this by hitting the French Kiss right then and there, but Eve reverses it into a Northern Lights Suplex. It wasn’t Molly Holly-esque by any means (she couldn’t hold the bridge, for one), but she goes for the pin nonetheless, and Maryse kicks out.

Maryse holds onto the ropes as Eve tries to drag her away, and Maryse kicks her in the stomach, pulling her to the center of the ring and planting her with the French Kiss. One provocative~ pin later, and Maryse advances to the finals.

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Raw Response: January 25th, 2010

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Actor Dulé Hill from USA Network’s “Pysch” is hosting Raw tonight. Tune in for the semi-finals of the Divas Championship Tournament (that is, if the WWE sees fit to actually do hold them this week). Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (January 18th, 2010) – The “Final Four” or Friendly Competition?

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With last week featuring two Divas Championship Tournament matches, one would think that the WWE were going full-speed ahead with the tourny. However, this week brought a halt to it, so to speak, because the WWE felt fit to press pause on the tournament in order to feature a tag team match with the remaining four Divas. Gail Kim and Eve Torres took on Maryse and Alicia Fox in something that shouldn’t really make sense in the context of the tournament. Watch and draw your own conclusions about whether or not it was unnecessary:

Gail and Maryse start out the match, with Gail immediately outsmarting Maryse and rolling her up into a pin. Maryse kicks out at 2 and is whipped into the corner, receiving Gail’s shoulder attack. Gail slips out of the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, hitting a sit-down dropkick and going for another pin, still getting 2. Maryse reverses an irish-whip, sending Gail into the ropes. When she gets close enough, Alicia grabs her by the hair, and Gail takes a wild swing at her, which she ducks. Maryse lands a well-placed boot that sends Gail flying out of the ring. Alicia attacks her on the outside, slamming her head against the floor before tossing her back into the ring.

Maryse brings Gail to her feet, hitting her with a forearm before planting her with a backbreaker. She goes for the pin and gets a 2-count. Maryse grabs a handful of Gail’s hair and brings her to the corner, tagging in Alicia. Maryse hits a snapmare on Gail and she and Alicia lift her up from either side, slamming her down onto her back. Gail gets to her feet and battles back at Alicia until she’s taken out with another backbreaker (it looked like she did 75% of the work too, flipping into it like she did). Alicia goes for the pin, and Gail kicks out at 2.

While Gail gathers herself Alicia preps for her scissors kick. However, Gail moves at the last moment and likely gives Alicia a mean charley horse. Gail moves to a corner into which Alicia charges, but she moves and lets her get a face full of turnbuckle. Gail springs to her own corner and tags in Eve. Eve goes on a blast of offense, whipping Alicia into a corner and charging, but getting a boot to the face. Alicia comes running out of the corner but Eve halts her with an armdrag. She hits a dropkick (which we can only assume Alicia was selling out of habit rather than impact) and another (this one making contact). She clotheslines Alicia and hits her somersault splash and goes for the pin. The referee double-checks Alicia’s shoulders (kudos, ref!), so Alicia only stays down for a 1-count.

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Raw Response: January 18th, 2010

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Actors Don Johnson and Jon Heder are co-hosting Raw tonight. Tune in for one (or two, if we’re lucky) Divas Championship Tournament semi-final matches and what are sure to be a ton of cheap plugs for “When in Rome”. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (January 11th, 2010) – Split in Two

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With two spots left in the semi-finals, the Raw Divas soldiered on with the Divas Championship tournament, competing in two matches. After last week’s two tournament openers (one on Raw, the other on Superstars), would the underwhelming feeling improve with this weeks bouts? Let’s see.. The first bout of the night featured Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox battling to go on to the next round:

Kelly makes her entrance, dressed in Maria’s leftover fabric scraps and shoes that are definitely not meant for athletic competition. You’re just asking for a sprained ankle with those skater shoes, girl.. Alicia follows, and the match starts with a rough tie-up. Kelly backs Alicia into the ropes, and the referee gets between them (literally) to break it up. Alicia takes this pause in the match to blast Kelly with a forearm, kneeing her and tossing her into the corner. She smashes her face into the turnbuckle a few times before hitting a snapmare.

Alicia keeps her grasp on Kelly’s hair, latching her into a sleeper hold. She makes a grab for her nose, wrenching Kelly’s face and switching the hold to the mat, keeping her locked in. Alicia shows some great aggression with this, the hold punctuated by Kelly’s screams. Kelly might overdo the screaming most of the time, but it’s moments like these that they’re effective. Kelly fights to get free, and Alicia moves back onto her knees, not letting go. Kelly eventually gets to her feet, punching Alicia in the stomach and freeing herself from the hold.

Still, Alicia reclaims control, irish-whipping Kelly into the corner. Kelly stops herself with the top turnbuckle, attempting a hurricanrana on Alicia, but she catches Kelly’s legs and tosses her over the ropes onto the ring apron. Alicia goes for the attack, but Kelly lands a forearm, grabbing her and pulling her over the ropes. Alicia lands on the outside, and Kelly hits a crossbody from the ring apron, then quickly tossing Alicia back into the ring. Kelly goes on her textbook offense (press the up arrow and triangle on PS3 to trigger it), punctuated by a long, twirly hurricanrana. She attempts a frankensteiner, but Alicia stops her momentum, turning it into a sick powerbomb, folding up Kelly into a pin. She gets the 3-count and advances in the tournament! She will face Maryse next week in the semi-finals.

Needless to say, I was extremely surprised to see Alicia win. I was pretty confident in the fact that the WWE wanted to push Kelly as the top babyface, given the great crowd reactions she gets and the fact that they use her in their marketing more than any other Diva. That’s not to say that I’m not happy with Alicia winning–I was rooting for her, in fact. I’m glad that she won, and I feel that she’s much more deserving of the Divas Championship than Kelly. It’s a little strange to think that, given how much longer Kelly’s been in the WWE. Most are aware that the girls were hired at the same time, though, and Alicia just spent her time training in the developmental system while Kelly did stripteases on ECW.

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Former Diva Backstage at Raw

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A former WWE Diva and Women’s Champion was present backstage at last night’s Raw in Minneapolis. Molly Holly, a Minnesota native, was visiting friends while the troupe were in town reports PWTorch. Molly has been on good terms with WWE since semi-retiring in 2005. She returned last year for the Miss WrestleMania battle royal at … Read more

Raw Response: January 11th, 2010

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Tonight boxing legend Mike Tyson makes his return to the wrestling ring, serving as this week’s guest GM. Also, expect to see the Divas Championship tournament continue with another first round match. Discuss the show in the comments!

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