If you normally read my column you know I am full of theories. I guess it comes from being an engineer, always trying to figure stuff out, always trying to see how things work. It’s kind of ironic because that is certainly not how I was raised. My dad couldn’t change a light bulb and just watched TV all day. My mom was a dancer and was always listening to show tunes (where is the couch Dr. Freud?) In any event somewhere along the line I got interested in science, eventually majoring in mathematics once I got to college. When I had to declare a minor I chose Classical Studies, because, you know, “Clash of the Titans” was a cool movie (the original, not the brutal remake). So, after 4 years of Nintendo, beer, and flag football, I graduated college as a deep thinker filled with numbers and Greek philosophy, perfect for analyzing and writing about women’s professional wrestling.
I have already shared with you several of my theories, such as my Kate Winslet Theory (Lay-Cool), my Beyonce Theory (Gail Kim) and my Sandra Bullock Theory (the Bella Twins). Each one more enlightening than the last. Well it’s time to reach even higher, to break through the intellectual clouds, and to share with you my latest and greatest brainwave. I hope you’re sitting down…
I give to you…my “Sarah Palin Theory”! *clap clap clap* You see, to me it is quite clear that Kelly Kelly is the Sarah Palin of the WWE.
Now, I could jump right into my analysis and immediately break this down, presenting the facts in an honest effort to convince you my theory is correct. But as you know by now there has to be a personal back story to all of my articles, so here we go (this is the point most of you stop reading…thanks for coming, don’t forget to tip the waiters…)
