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Divas & Knockouts Do V-Day 2010

What would Valentine’s Day be without our Divas and Knockouts stripping down to their lingerie? This year, WWE, who usually love any opportunity to dish out a gimmick photoshoot, have actually gasp recycled last year’s V-Day photoshoot with a few pictures thrown in for girls that weren’t with the company this time last year [Gail … Read more

Raw Redux (February 8th, 2010) – An Afterthought

For weeks we’ve been following the Divas Championship tournament, with all its stops and starts. Two weeks ago we finally made the match-up for the finals, but getting to that match has been harder than it seems. Many of us want the WWE to just get it over with, as it’s been obvious from the start that Maryse will be walking away with the title. Thus, it’s been some acute form of torture to see the WWE stretch this thing out as long as possible. This week was no different, and on top of it we got some bad good news: the finals will be taking place in less than two weeks at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Until then, we’ve got two Raws to fill, and you better believe it that the WWE will give it as little build up as possible:

See? We’ve been treated to a random match between Gail Kim and Jillian, which kind of sneaks up on us because no one was given an entrance, and the match wasn’t even announced. Hey, they’ve gotta free up time for all the Shawn Michaels angst and John Cena beatdown replays! Maryse, of course, is on commentary, making this impending finals match-up even more of a laughing stock. You’d think the WWE would get that doing it this way makes it look like Maryse is the champion, scouting her challenger in Gail. I’m sure they notice, but just don’t give a shit.

In the ring, Gail and Jillian start with a tie-up, Jillian taking control and backing Gail up against the ropes. Gail slips through the ropes, falling to the outside. Jillian tosses her back into the ring and goes for a pin, getting a 1-count. She whips Gail into the corner and gets an elbow to the face when she goes for an attack. Gail climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, but Jillian sweeps her feet and knocks her all the way to the mat. Another pin, another 1-count.

Meanwhile, on commentary, Maryse talks about how much more sophisticated Raw Divas are in contrast to what’s been going on on SmackDown with Mickie James. Complain about the fat jokes all you want, Maryse, but at least they’re given more than 3 minutes of screen time. Maybe the Raw Divas should start having food fights.. Jillian pounds Gail’s head onto the mat and hoists her up, but Gail slips free, hitting the Eat Defeat. She pins Jillian for the win.

The match, which was literally ONE MINUTE long, was as good as any match could be with such a ridiculous time limit. I give boatloads of credit to Jillian and Gail for making such a joke of a match interesting and fun with what little they were given. Funny, though, that the post-match promo was longer than the match itself. Maryse, get priority? Never!!

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Maryse vs. Gail Set for Elimination Chamber PPV

The finals for the Divas Championship Tournament are set to (finally) take place in less than two weeks at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Maryse will take on Gail Kim, obviously, and we will at last have some closure for the tournament that was prompted all the way back in December when champion Melina injured her … Read more

Divas Title Match on Raw

Fresh from crowning a new Women’s Champion, WWE will crown a new Divas Champion tonight as Gail Kim and Maryse compete in the finals of the Divas Championship tournament tonight on Raw. The Divas Title was vacated one month ago when former champion, Melina suffered an injury at a house show.

Raw Redux (January 25th, 2010) – The Clock’s Ticking…

Last week we were caught a bit off guard when the WWE decided to hold a tag team match instead of the semi-finals of the Divas Championship Tournament. It seemed to me back then that it would suck out what little momentum the tournament already had, but did it? Let’s take a look at this week’s action–two semi-finals matches–and see if the tournament has any momentum left going into the finals.

First up we have Maryse and Eve Torres in their semi-final match. Maryse gets on the microphone, telling the other Divas in the tournament that they are “just wasting their time”, and that she is most certainly going to win the Divas Championship. The Divas could have known this weeks ago if they only read Diva Dirt, but I suppose the point is made clearer when spoken in French. She is interrupted by guest GM Dulé Hill (of “Psyche” fame) messing with the pyrotechnics. He blasts the entrance ramp with pyro, and Maryse has a few choice words for him. It’s funny, and Hill provides a good foil for Maryse’s bitchy anger (he was also a good foil for another Diva’s wrath, but we’ll get to that later). Finally, Eve makes her entrance and the match starts:

They start with a tie-up, Eve delivering a few blows to Maryse and backing her into the corner. She continues with this dominance until the ref separates them. Maryse then slaps her across the face and goes for another, but Eve ducks and hits a dropkick, going for the pin. Maryse kicks out, and Michael Cole remarks how Eve winning would be a “mild upset”. Try total upset, Cole, you and me both know there ain’t no way Maryse is losing.

Maryse whips Eve into the ropes, but Eve stops her own momentum and delivers a kick to the face. She bounces off the ropes once more and slams Maryse to the mat hair first (maybe head first, but Maryse’s weave is looking mighty long these days..). Eve hits her somersault splash and attempts a pin, Maryse kicking out at 2. Maryse seeks refuge in the corner, but Eve sandwiches her with a flying clothesline, planting her to the mat with a scoop slam. She climbs to the top rope (Maryse casually~ getting into position), going for a moonsault that doesn’t connect. Maryse rolls out of the way just in time, and Eve eats mat.

Maryse looks to take advantage of this by hitting the French Kiss right then and there, but Eve reverses it into a Northern Lights Suplex. It wasn’t Molly Holly-esque by any means (she couldn’t hold the bridge, for one), but she goes for the pin nonetheless, and Maryse kicks out.

Maryse holds onto the ropes as Eve tries to drag her away, and Maryse kicks her in the stomach, pulling her to the center of the ring and planting her with the French Kiss. One provocative~ pin later, and Maryse advances to the finals.

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Raw Redux (January 18th, 2010) – The “Final Four” or Friendly Competition?

With last week featuring two Divas Championship Tournament matches, one would think that the WWE were going full-speed ahead with the tourny. However, this week brought a halt to it, so to speak, because the WWE felt fit to press pause on the tournament in order to feature a tag team match with the remaining four Divas. Gail Kim and Eve Torres took on Maryse and Alicia Fox in something that shouldn’t really make sense in the context of the tournament. Watch and draw your own conclusions about whether or not it was unnecessary:

Gail and Maryse start out the match, with Gail immediately outsmarting Maryse and rolling her up into a pin. Maryse kicks out at 2 and is whipped into the corner, receiving Gail’s shoulder attack. Gail slips out of the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, hitting a sit-down dropkick and going for another pin, still getting 2. Maryse reverses an irish-whip, sending Gail into the ropes. When she gets close enough, Alicia grabs her by the hair, and Gail takes a wild swing at her, which she ducks. Maryse lands a well-placed boot that sends Gail flying out of the ring. Alicia attacks her on the outside, slamming her head against the floor before tossing her back into the ring.

Maryse brings Gail to her feet, hitting her with a forearm before planting her with a backbreaker. She goes for the pin and gets a 2-count. Maryse grabs a handful of Gail’s hair and brings her to the corner, tagging in Alicia. Maryse hits a snapmare on Gail and she and Alicia lift her up from either side, slamming her down onto her back. Gail gets to her feet and battles back at Alicia until she’s taken out with another backbreaker (it looked like she did 75% of the work too, flipping into it like she did). Alicia goes for the pin, and Gail kicks out at 2.

While Gail gathers herself Alicia preps for her scissors kick. However, Gail moves at the last moment and likely gives Alicia a mean charley horse. Gail moves to a corner into which Alicia charges, but she moves and lets her get a face full of turnbuckle. Gail springs to her own corner and tags in Eve. Eve goes on a blast of offense, whipping Alicia into a corner and charging, but getting a boot to the face. Alicia comes running out of the corner but Eve halts her with an armdrag. She hits a dropkick (which we can only assume Alicia was selling out of habit rather than impact) and another (this one making contact). She clotheslines Alicia and hits her somersault splash and goes for the pin. The referee double-checks Alicia’s shoulders (kudos, ref!), so Alicia only stays down for a 1-count.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 14th, 2010): Half of a Rematch

In what you could consider a partial rematch of last week’s Superstars match, Gail Kim is again taking on Jillian, this time in a Mixed Tag Team match–Gail pairing with Primo and Jillian with Chavo Guerrero. Watch the match below:

Primo and Chavo start out the match. Primo dominates Chavo until some dirty tricks put Guerrero in control. Jillian even gets a few boots on Primo while the referee’s back is turned. Primo eventually regains control, prompting Chavo to go running to his momma Jillian, grabbing a hold of her midsection. As unorthodox as it is, this counts as a tag, and Jillian enters the ring. Before Primo tags her in (and he really doesn’t need to, I guess), Jillian charges, and he dodges, and she eats Gail’s fist.

Gail blasts into the ring, going on a roll of offense, irish-whipping Jillian into the corner, hitting a flying clothesline. She backs up and goes for a two-fer, but Jillian moves, and she ends up between the ropes and wrapped around the turnbuckle. Gail gathers herself, though, and ducks a blow by Jillian, hitting one of her own and climbing the turnbuckle. Chavo distracts her, however, and Jillian causes her to lose her footing. Gail crotches herself on the top rope, and Jillian tosses her from there to the mat. She goes for the pin, earning a 2-count.

Frustrated, Jillian goes a bit unhinged, grabbing Gail by the head and slamming the back of hit repeatedly against her knee. The hold quickly is reduced into a blatant hair pull. She eventually lets go and goes for the pin again, still getting only 2. She picks Gail up and tosses her by the hair like she’s a ragdoll, which probably isn’t far off from her actual weight–no insult intended, she’s just so tiny! Jillian then just stands on Gail’s face–hey, if it gets the job done, why not? The referee scolds her, and she relents. I like how Jillian is showing a blatant disregard for the rules. There’s not even a hint of integrity to her wrestling, and I like that kind of honesty in a heel.

Jillian slams Gail into the corner and drives a few well-placed knees into her midsection. She brings Gail to the ropes, whipping her to the other side, but Gail hangs on, attempting a kick when Jillian advances on her. Jillian catches her foot, however, and drags her hopping to the center of the ring, taking her down with a clothesline. She taunts the crowd before going for her cartwheel splash, which Gail blocks with her knees. Both Divas try to regroup, crawling to their respective corners and tagging in their teammates.

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Raw Redux (January 11th, 2010) – Split in Two

With two spots left in the semi-finals, the Raw Divas soldiered on with the Divas Championship tournament, competing in two matches. After last week’s two tournament openers (one on Raw, the other on Superstars), would the underwhelming feeling improve with this weeks bouts? Let’s see.. The first bout of the night featured Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox battling to go on to the next round:

Kelly makes her entrance, dressed in Maria’s leftover fabric scraps and shoes that are definitely not meant for athletic competition. You’re just asking for a sprained ankle with those skater shoes, girl.. Alicia follows, and the match starts with a rough tie-up. Kelly backs Alicia into the ropes, and the referee gets between them (literally) to break it up. Alicia takes this pause in the match to blast Kelly with a forearm, kneeing her and tossing her into the corner. She smashes her face into the turnbuckle a few times before hitting a snapmare.

Alicia keeps her grasp on Kelly’s hair, latching her into a sleeper hold. She makes a grab for her nose, wrenching Kelly’s face and switching the hold to the mat, keeping her locked in. Alicia shows some great aggression with this, the hold punctuated by Kelly’s screams. Kelly might overdo the screaming most of the time, but it’s moments like these that they’re effective. Kelly fights to get free, and Alicia moves back onto her knees, not letting go. Kelly eventually gets to her feet, punching Alicia in the stomach and freeing herself from the hold.

Still, Alicia reclaims control, irish-whipping Kelly into the corner. Kelly stops herself with the top turnbuckle, attempting a hurricanrana on Alicia, but she catches Kelly’s legs and tosses her over the ropes onto the ring apron. Alicia goes for the attack, but Kelly lands a forearm, grabbing her and pulling her over the ropes. Alicia lands on the outside, and Kelly hits a crossbody from the ring apron, then quickly tossing Alicia back into the ring. Kelly goes on her textbook offense (press the up arrow and triangle on PS3 to trigger it), punctuated by a long, twirly hurricanrana. She attempts a frankensteiner, but Alicia stops her momentum, turning it into a sick powerbomb, folding up Kelly into a pin. She gets the 3-count and advances in the tournament! She will face Maryse next week in the semi-finals.

Needless to say, I was extremely surprised to see Alicia win. I was pretty confident in the fact that the WWE wanted to push Kelly as the top babyface, given the great crowd reactions she gets and the fact that they use her in their marketing more than any other Diva. That’s not to say that I’m not happy with Alicia winning–I was rooting for her, in fact. I’m glad that she won, and I feel that she’s much more deserving of the Divas Championship than Kelly. It’s a little strange to think that, given how much longer Kelly’s been in the WWE. Most are aware that the girls were hired at the same time, though, and Alicia just spent her time training in the developmental system while Kelly did stripteases on ECW.

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Playing the Odds: The Divas Championship Tournament

Feeling lucky? In this new feature we’ve dubbed Playing the Odds, we will weigh the odds of certain Diva or Knockout events occurring, be it a championship win or heel turn.

We classify each like so: if the event’s occurrence is highly unlikely, it gets the Long Shot stamp; if it’s within the realm of possibility, it’s a Safe Bet; if it is extremely likely, it is a Sure Thing. Now, this does not mean everything we brand a Sure Thing is destined to happen–it just lines up with what we feel to be feasible from precedent or a person’s current position. Also, this is from our point of view, so don’t take this as fact or anything of the sort.

In this first edition, we will take a look at the ongoing Divas Championship Tournament, seeing which Raw Divas have the best shot at coming out on top. We may not be in Vegas, but we’re placing our bets anyways–take a look at ours and make a few of your own in the comments.

Alicia Fox
Odds: Safe Bet. Even though the WWE has been noticeably fickle about giving Alicia big pushes (they’re more of a “now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t” type thing), she is certainly a rising star in the company. They have felt comfortable giving her title shots before (twice, actually), and though her pushes were always short lived, they showed that she’s not destined to be merely a background player. Comparatively, a Diva such as Layla, who is still pretty much a background player, has never seen the kinds of pushes Alicia has been given. This makes us believe that Alicia might have better luck than her “replacement” (remember, Alicia was Michelle’s tag along first). This year could hold Alicia’s big breakout, and winning this tournament or even giving a good showing in it could effectively kick-start that. Though, as promising as her future looks, the WWE’s fickleness when it comes to her makes us hesitate to give her our full confidence in this tournament. It’s certainly possible that she could go all the way, but we’re not going to be betting the farm on it either.

Brie Bella
Odds: Long Shot. Yes, she’s already out of the tournament, which makes this sort of irrelevant, but when looking at it from an objective standpoint, pretending that the match had not taken place yet, it’s quite the long shot to picture Brie getting pushed all the way to the title. It’s not that we lack the faith in Brie having success on her own, but with the way the WWE books Brie and her sister–that is, extremely inconsistently–it’s tough to imagine the WWE giving either of them a title run. They seem to only use them in the ring when they need extra bodies. Otherwise, it’s escort duty fro the GM of the week. Bottom line, there’s just been no real investment made in the Bellas by the WWE. Until the WWE starts taking them seriously as competitors, they pose no real threat.

Read more to see how the other Raw Divas’ odds stack up.

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In Pictures: Traci Brooks’ Wedding Featuring Knockouts and a Diva

Can you name the odd one out in this picture? Knockout Traci Brooks and wrestler Frankie Kazarian said their “I do’s” last week in the presence of several of their TNA family — but wait, who’s that? WWE Diva Gail Kim reunited with her former co-workers for the wedding and it looks as though she … Read more

Perfect 10: Week of January 4th, 2010

The Perfect 10 counts down the ten Divas and Knockouts who have had the best week in television on Raw, SmackDown, ECW and TNA Impact. The Perfect 10 considers matches, promos, character development and more. Who’ll be #1 this week? THIS WEEK MOVEMENT DIVA LAST WEEK AWESOME KONG & HAMADA After a hard fought battle, … Read more

Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 7th, 2010): Getting Out of the Gate

This past Monday saw the start of an 8-Diva tournament for the Divas Championship, with Maryse advancing into the second round. The tourny continued tonight on WWE Superstars, pitting Gail Kim against Jillian. Who will get one step closer to holding that butterly belt? Watch and see:

Jillian comes down to the ring, headset on. She says how excited she is about this tournament and that she has a good feeling about her chances to go all the way. This reminds her of that Black Eyed Peas song that’s overplayed on the radio to the point that it has surpassed the category of music and and has transformed into an acute form of torture–that song being “I’ve Got a Feeling”. She, of course, butchers it, and Gail’s entrance music eventually puts a stop to it. Kim makes her way to the ring and the match is on.

They start with a tie-up, Gail taking advantage and wrenching Jillian’s arm. Jillian escapes this by rolling forward and sweeping Gail’s legs. She goes for a pin, but Kim doesn’t even let the referee get a 1-count down. Jillian picks her up and holds her in a side headlock. Gail forces Jillian back into the ropes and shoves herself free, making her run the ropes.

On the return, Jillian shoulder-blocks Gail, but Gail grabs her feet before she can go anywhere, making her fall flat on her face. Gail bridges into a pin, but barely gets 2. Kim delivers a few blows to her face and goes for an irish whip that Jillian reverses. Gail ends up in the corner, but skirts through the ropes when Jillian charges toward her. Jillian blocks a punch and lands one of her own, then going for a shoulder blow to Gail’s midsection, but Kim hoists herself up, landing in a seated position on Jillian’s back. She heads to the top rope, hitting a lateral press on Jillian and going for the pin, getting a 2-count.

Jillian gets to her feet, only to be taken down again with a frankensteiner. She tries to regroup in the corner, dodging an attack by Gail and sending her flying through the ropes. Gail manages to hang on, though, and Jillian grabs her by the hair, knocking her head against the steel post and allowing her to fall to the outside.

Jillian spears Gail against the ring apron and tosses her into the ring, attempting an unorthodox pin that Kim kicks out of. She picks Gail up and slams her back down with a sidewalk slam, going for another pin that results in another kick-out. An irish whip into the corner sends Gail into the turnbuckle and down to the mat, as she’s unable to stay on her feet.

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Year-End Awards 2009: News Story of the Year

2009 is now over and we are celebrating with our second annual Year-End Awards. This year, we have had thousands of votes as you have voted for the top Divas, Knockouts, matches and moments of 2009!And now it’s time to reveal the winners.

NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR

The nominees are:

* Angelina Love’s TNA release over visa issues
* Gail Kim makes her WWE return
* Lilian Garcia retires from WWE after 10 years
* TNA introduces Knockouts Tag Team Championship
* Victoria retires from WWE and later joins TNA as Tara

Continue for the result:

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Year-End Awards 2009: Best Finisher

2009 is now over and we are celebrating with our second annual Year-End Awards. This year, we have had thousands of votes as you have voted for the top Divas, Knockouts, matches and moments of 2009!And now it’s time to reveal the winners.

BEST FINISHER

The nominees are:

* Awesome Kong – ‘Implant Buster’
* Beth Phoenix – ‘Glam Slam’
* Gail Kim – ‘Eat Defeat’
* Melina – ‘Last Call’
* Michelle McCool – ‘Faith Breaker’

Continue for the result:

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2009 Most Memorable Moments: The Debuts of Gail Kim and Tara

2009 is nearly at an end! As with our Christmas Classics last week, over the next few days, we’ll be turning back the clock and picking out most memorable moments from the year gone by. Each day, a different team member will be sharing their most memorable moment for all of you guys to enjoy. Add your thoughts in the comments and be sure to tell us what your most memorable moments were.

Today’s pick is from Melanie: This year, fans got to see two exciting debuts in both of the companies that were much buzzed about. Both of these talents, Gail Kim and Tara, are much loved around these parts so it was interesting to see how their respective companies handled their debuts. Tara’s perhaps was most memorable, we saw her come out of her WWE shell and be the badass icon we all knew she could be. Meanwhile Gail Kim’s SmackDown debut was perhaps one of the few memorable things that WWE got right with her this year. Both of these moments stood out to me and despite how they may or may not have followed through, I thought they were both great and of course, memorable.

Watch below:

Gail after the cut:

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Raw Redux (December 21st, 2009) – It’s the Most Pointless Time of the Year

As we all have become accustomed, this is the time of the year where folks sing carols, wrap presents, and the Divas amount to nothing more than skimpy red costumes. So we saw this coming, and it shouldn’t be surprise that this week’s Raw was absolutely pointless. In what has become an annual thing, Melina, … Read more

Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of December 14th, 2009

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead, we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Erin: Is this a top and a skirt or a dress? Either way, I’m not too keen on it. The pattern could be cute on another clothing item, but here it looks a bit too “Malibu Barbie” for me. 4/10
Melanie: It’s er, unique? I know Alicia has her own quirky style and all, that’s cool but I just can’t… 3/10

THE BELLA TWINS
Erin: It’s not the smartest thing in the world to wear such short, tight dresses for an Evening Gown match, but the dresses themselves aren’t bad at all. I prefer the one with less lace, though. 7/10
Melanie: I like these outfits. I don’t think we can ever expect anything mind-blowing from the Bellas, but this is a step in the right direction. 6/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Raw Redux (December 14th, 2009) – What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Last night’s Raw, in all its bloated 3 hour glory, was the annual Slammy Awards edition. Among the awards to be handed out were Diva of the Year, which was to be voted on by the fans at WWE.com. As we waited on pins and needles (not) to find out who won the award, we pondered whether the award would be given to support a storyline via rigging by the WWE or a popularity contest held by the voting public. As is turns out, it was neither, and I’ll explain my theory as we come to it.

We start our Divas action (not counting the Divas presenting awards throughout the night) with a Jerry Springer-esque evening gown tag team match. The babyfaces–Mickie James, Melina, Brie & Nikki Bella, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria are taking on the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes. Most look out of place and trashy in their gowns, and I would critique them (I’ll save that for this week’s Style Jury), but I’m much more distracted by the fact that they’re WRESTLING IN EVENING GOWNS. Well, this’ll be one mesmerizing clusterfuck:


Skip to 2:52

They start with a line-up face-off, trading verbal barbs before heading off their their respective corners. Mickie and Rosa start off the match, Rosa takign advantage and tossing Mickie around, pounding her head on the mat. They trade slaps, and Rosa tosses Mickie into the corner. Mickie blocks her attack, locking her head with her legs and hitting a hurricanrana. She then pulls her to her feet, hitting her Mickie-T to get the pin an the win for her team.

I have to say, this is one of the few moments where I’m glad that a Diva match was cut short. I’m glad that no more than two Divas had to humiliate themselves by wrestling in their dresses. Mickie and Rosa did as awkwardly as I expected, but hey, someone had to take the bullet. Now that the match is over, it’s time for the Diva of the Year Slammy to be awarded. The girls line up in anticipation as MVP and Goldust present the award.

Our winner is announced as, drumroll please…. Maria??? MVP’s reaction right before he reads her name says it all, and Maria looks as shocked as the rest of us as she goes up to accept her award, saying a typical acceptance speech before being interrupted by Batista in a douche costume, doing a Kanye West impression that’s not only awful but over 3 months old. If the joke were a carton of milk, it would have expired into a living organism at this point and, ironically, would be more worthy of a Diva of the Year award than Maria. Maria plays Taylor Swift as she left the stage and allowed Dave to be “escorted” off by security.

But as we watch the wild pink-polo-wearing douchebag be captured in his natural habitat, we’re left to ponder the reasoning behind this decision to crown Maria as Diva of the Year. Was is it truly a popularity contest, and she was just the most popular Diva among the fans? Or was it rigged for storyline purposes? As I said earlier, I believe it was neither, because I have a theory. Yes, Maria is popular, and I do not doubt that fans flocked to vote for her in the poll, but I don’t believe her star power amongst the casual fans is that much stronger than, say, a Mickie James or a Kelly Kelly.

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Raw Redux (December 7th, 2009) – A (Relative) Smörgåsbord of Divas

With Maryse two weeks into her return, fans have been less than impressed with her all-around performance. Her return was more head-scratching than anything else and her match last week didn’t show her in-ring skills as much as a more refined affinity to sneak out a win. Will she continue on that path this week, or will we see a more ring-focused Maryse?

We start our night seeing that Kelly Kelly has been handed the duty of announcing the night’s first Divas match. I’m not all the surprised that they saddled Kelly with this random job, since the WWE has a tendency to stick Divas in announcing positions when they don’t know what else to do with them. We’ll see if this becomes a regular thing or was just a plot device to bring in Melina post-match.

The match in question is Gail Kim vs. Maryse. I’m psyched to see Gail get some one-on-one action, as she’s usually stuck in tag team matches (aside from the odd Superstars match). Let’s see if she can pull some good things out what’s so far been a lackluster return angle for Maryse:

The match starts off with a requisite show of arrogance by Maryse–she actually shoves Gail by the head twice. Gail seems to keep her annoyance in check until she spears Maryse to the mat, pounding on her until she’s shoved off. Maryse darts to safety at the other side of the ring, but Gail keeps on her, tossing her by the hair and whipping her into the ropes. Maryse hangs on to the ropes, but Gail drags her back to the middle of the ring by a leg, making Maryse hop along. Gail tosses Maryse’s leg aside, spinning her, and then slamming her down with a hard clothesline.

Maryse crawls to the corner, and once she’s to her feet, Gail charges at her, slipping out of the ring and back in under the ropes, out-smarting Maryse and rolling her up into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at two and wanders to the next corner, only to be sandwiched into it by a flying Gail. Maryse drops to her butt, and Gail proceeds to drive her knee into her neck, using her standing leverage to apply the pressure. Gail eventually backs off and Maryse gets to her feet, simply slapping Gail in the face in rebuttal.

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FCW (Must) Watch: Gail Kim vs. Mia Mancini

Gail Kim may have had a disappointing year upon her WWE return but perhaps the standout of her time is this little gem from the television series for WWE’s farm territory, FCW. Gail takes on former SHIMMER standout and current Queen of FCW, Mia Mancini. Watch below: This is a definite step up from Mia’s … Read more

Raw Redux (November 30th, 2009) – The Greeks Take Troy (Again)

Following Maryse‘s turkey-costumed return, fans came to a general consensus that it was pretty disappointing. But with this week came the opportunity to add some legitimacy to this blossoming feud. Would Maryse deliver, or would she–like the turkey she disguised herself as–not even get off the ground?

We begin the night with an entrance by Melina and Gail Kim. The feed cuts to Maryse and Jillian walking backstage, only to be stopped by Josh Matthews, asking Maryse what provoked her to attack Melina last week:

She explained her motives as this: Melina was holding her Divas title (not that Mickie held the title long before Melina and actually won it from Maryse in the first place) and provided a Trojan Horse, which for Melina turned out to be the turkey. I don’t want to go all history nerd and explain the many ways in which that makes no sense, but really.. I know the common usage of the Trojan Horse metaphor is with a “any trick that causes a target to invite a foe into a securely protected bastion or place”, in reference to the tale of the Greeks hiding inside of a giant horse that they left outside the gates of Troy, which when brought inside the gates (as a victory trophy) allowed them to overtake the city at night and win what has been a 10-year siege. But is the WWE ring really considered a securely protected place? Maybe the fact that Melina let the Gobbledy Gooker stand behind her qualifies as that, but that’s stretching it quite a bit. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t accepting the Trojan Horse (and ignoring the warnings of others) a sign of vanity? They believed that the Greeks were surrendering and accepted their “victory trophy” without suspicion, and were ambushed and slaughtered for doing so. I doubt Maryse was preyinf on Melina’s vanity with her scheme.

Either way you look at it, Maryse’s metaphor oversold the thing to a ridiculous level. It actually managed to make it look even more stupid, as she (AKA the WWE’s writers) tried to sell it as some mastermind’s trick. However, when the trick involves one party dressing up in a Gobbledy Gooker suit, I think trying to make it look like any sort of “master plan” is more foolish than the idea itself.

But enough of that. Maryse says “gobble gobble” to Josh (which I guess serves as a goodbye), which Jillian sings in repetition, and the two head to the ring. Melina and Gail’s reaction to this says it all, mouthing “wow” to each other a few times. As Maryse and Jillian make their entrance, Michael Cole recaps how Maryse lost the Divas Championship at Night of Champions and–rumor has it–when into a state of depression following her loss. What a crappy excuse.. I mean, is it really that hard to just say she got injured–which she actually did? All that does is perpetuate the stereotype of the “fragile woman”. Though, Maryse’s character is approximately 99% vanity, so such a blow to her ago could probably crush her in such a way. But still, around 5 months on the shelf due to depression? That’s treating pretty lightly what in real life is a big deal–a serious mental illness. But I guess, as we’ve seen several times already this night, analyzing the WWE’s motives is a lost cause.

I really need to stop sidetracking this thing. Let’s get on to the match.

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Raw Redux (November 23rd, 2009) – A Turkey of a Return

Back in the 1920s, showbiz had a slang term for a failure or flop: they’d call it a turkey*. Fitting, given the failures we witnessed tonight on this Thanksgiving episode of Raw where a certain Diva went so far as to dress in a turkey costume for her big return. So, was it cleverly self-referential or just a bad idea? I think we know the answer to that, but just in case let’s watch the situation unfold and decide for ourselves:

Predictably, the Divas have dressed up for a “Mayflower Melee”, AKA Thanksgiving-themed 6-Diva tag match. The faces–Mickie James, Melina, and Kelly Kelly–are decked out in (*cough* super un-P.C. *cough*) Native American garb, while the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, and Jillian–are Pilgrims. All look pretty ridiculous, even Kelly, who apparently decided to put on a tan dress and some Nikes and call it a day. But hey, at least she doesn’t look like she’s doing a Kindergarten Thanksgiving play like Michelle & co. I must say, I love how pissed they looked to be dressed in those Pilgrim costumes. At least they’re acknowledging how lame the idea is, unlike so many times in the past.

Before the match starts they are joined by the guest time keeper, the Gobbledy Gooker! …You know, the giant turkey that hatched on live television in what was known as one of the biggest “WTF” moments in WWE history? I guess since they had two Thanksgiving cliches represented, they decided to go for the trifecta. Gooker stands in the corner and awkwardly rings the bell, signaling the start of the match.

Melina and Jillian start out the match, probably praying that they can scrub off some of the bad mojo they’ve had with each other as of late. They start with a tie-up, Melina getting the upper hand by wrenching Jillian’s arm. Jillian gains control, slamming Melina to the mat. Melina reverses an irish-whip into the corner, sending Jillian into the turnbuckle and proceeding to send a shoulder into her stomach. She lays Jillian across the second ropes, prepping her a double-knee attack. Before she can do it, however, Jillian yanks her by her dress, pulling her to the mat. She tosses Melina by the hair and taunts the crowd a bit.

Jillian whips Melina into the ropes but Melina hangs on. Before she can do anything, though, Jillian meets her with an elbow to the face. She whips Melina into the turnbuckle, prepping for her handspring elbow attack. Before she can do any damage, Melina catches her with her legs, choking her and chopping her on the head. Once back on their feet Melina takes down Jillian with a (almost malfunctioned) facebuster. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out.

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