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(SmackDown Invades) Raw Response: April 19th, 2010

Tonight’s Raw will… not really be Raw. As you’ve probably read, volcanic ash has grounded European flights, and thus the majority of the Raw brand is stuck overseas. SmackDown will be pinch hitting for them, so expect things to look a little different tonight. Ryan Phillippe, Will Forte and Kristen Wiig from the film “MacGruber” … Read more

Impact Feedback: April 19th, 2010

Impact is going live tonight, so be sure to watch to see The Beautiful People take on Daffney and the partner of her choosing in a Knockouts Tag Team Title match. To see all the Lockdown fallout, tune in at 8pm ET on Spike TV. Discuss the show in the comments!

In Audio: Celebrating 5 Years of Melina

Today, April 14th, marks the five year anniversary of three-time Women’s Champion and one-time Divas Champion, Melina in the WWE. Five years ago, Melina along with Johnny Nitro (now John Morrison) and Joey Mercury  made their debuts as the formidable team MNM, taking SmackDown by storm. It’s been a long road for Melina who has … Read more

Raw Redux (April 12th, 2010): Way Too Quick & Far Too Slow

So Eve Torres won a Divas Championship shot last week in what was probably the least prestigious win of its kind. That’s not a slight to Eve, though, because the evening gown stipulation dragged the match down like a rusty anchor. Still, it was promising to see an actual championship match made, and we moved on to this week with Eve vs. Maryse in the cards. So, did this match surpass its dress-wrestling origins? Let’s see:

David Hasselhoff introduces the match. Eve makes her way to the ring, and she dances a bit with Hoff. Michael Cole calls this an “interesting” and “unique” way to kick off Raw. I have no idea what that means, because while Divas Championship matches may be rare, they’re not exactly “unique” fare. Maryse is next, and the match starts. Maryse gets things rolling with a vicious slap, prompting a hair-pulling exchange that the referee eventually has to break up. Maryse slips out of the ring and Eve gives chase, meeting a blow from Maryse as soon as she reaches her.

Maryse is showing more aggression than she has in a long, long time. I guess a championship defense will light a fire under anyone’s ass, but it’s nice to see her do more than run away–though she’s still doing that too. She slams Eve’s face onto the apron several times before tossing her back into the ring. Before Maryse can do anything more Eve goes on an offensive streak of her own, whipping Maryse into the corner, charging and getting an elbow to the face. Maryse tries to get in another lick but Eve again turns the tables, hitting a neckbreaker. She positions Maryse on the mat and climbs the turnbuckle, performing a beautiful moonsault.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t meet its mark, as Maryse rolls out of the way. Both Divas lay stagnant on the mat, and I’m pretty sure Eve knocked all the wind out of herself. God, that’s gotta hurt. Maryse laughs at her misfire, slapping her on the back of the head and standing her up for the French Kiss DDT. Even blocks it, though and, with that momentum, rolls Maryse up into an interesting bridge pin. She gets the 3-count and is the new Divas Champion. Eve celebrates while Maryse screams (in agony?).

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Raw Response: April 12th, 2010

Tonight’s Raw will be hosted by “Baywatch” alum and all-around pop culture phenom David Hasselhoff. The show was pre-taped, so if you’re curious about its goings-on you can view the show’s spoilers here. As always, tune in at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

WWE Superstars Spoilers: April 8th, 2010

Spoilers for this Thursday’s edition of WWE Superstars are in. Click ‘show’ to view them:

Spoiler
* Beth Phoenix defeated Layla in an “intergender match.” Laycool referred to Beth as a man. The crowd was so hot for Team Laycool that I couldn’t really hear what they were saying. (Source: ProWrestling.net)

Thoughts after the cut:

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Taylor Wilde “Not Too Thrilled” With Being Left Off TV

It’s no secret that many think TNA’s overall product has declined in quality as of late. If you’re one of those people, Taylor Wilde seems to agree with you. On Twitter in the small hours of Tuesday, Taylor responded to a fan’s complaints about her recent absence from television, saying: “Yeah……….I’m not too thrilled about … Read more

Raw Redux (April 5th, 2010): All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

Last week’s Raw brought a level of disappointment that made me vow to never again underestimate the WWE’s ability to undervalue the Divas. So, maybe that’s why I’m not as disappointed by Raw as I normally would be. Sure, the match this week was based on a lame and degrading idea, but at this point I’m not expecting anything better.

I’m sure most of you have heard the saying “all dressed up and nowhere to go”, which means, in a fashion, that you’re prepared for something that’s not going to happen. This applies pretty well in this case, as Diva fans, the gluttons for punishment that they are, are continuously hoping for the best. They’re prepared for something interesting, exciting, or at the very least respectable. But if you look at the last few months of booking for the Raw Divas, you would know that it’s not going to happen–at least not anytime soon. Unless they take a hard left turn, it’ll be a while until we’re treated to something that demonstrates that the Raw bookers have an ounce of respect for the Divas. Until then, we’ll be treated to matches like the one that took place tonight. Don’t get me wrong–it wasn’t a trainwreck, but the whole idea of it speaks volumes about the respect (or lack thereof) that the Divas receive. It was close to being a perfectly acceptable match, but one addition, one finishing touch, threw it out of whack. That “touch” was totally unnecessary, and served to pretty much ruin the match for me.

The match in question was a “Dressed to Impress” battle royal, in which the winner would earn a shot at Maryse‘s Divas Championship. That’s a great idea, because we all know that the only thing that could top the awkwardness of a battle royal is a battle royal where the competitors have to wear dresses. Why were they wearing dresses! Why, to fit in with this week’s GM of course! Who is he? I don’t know, but who gives a shit, right? I say bring on the hot mess!

We’re joined at ringside by Maryse, who takes her spot at the commentary table. Surprisingly, each Diva gets her own entrance, which I assume is an effort to show off their fancy dresses. I can’t say I like any of them very much, but I don’t blame them for not pulling out the good duds–you wouldn’t want to risk ruining them when you’re tossed over the top rope. Anywho, we’re joined by Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Rosa Mendes, Jillian, Katie Lea Burchill, Brie and Nikki Bella, and Eve Torres. Maryse trashes all of their looks, but puts special effort into dogging Eve. It’s not secret that she’s going to win this match; she gets the last entrance, a stare down with Maryse, and special emphasis on commentary. If that doesn’t allow you to telegraph Eve’s win from a mile away, you’re just not paying close enough attention.

The match starts and the Divas break off into pairs, all except Rosa, who charges at the Bellas and pretty much jumps out of the ring. It’s a messy exchange, but the Bellas eventually complete what’s left of her journey and heave her over the ropes and out of the ring. Rosa is eliminated. Soon after, Brie and Nikki are eliminated, with Katie Lea and Alicia doing the honors. Brie & Nikki Bella are eliminated.

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Raw Response: April 5th, 2010

NXT rookie David Otunga is hosting Raw, an honor he earned by winning a battle royal last week. Will he bring along celebrity finance Jennifer Hudson? Find out by watching the show at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Ruptured Implant to Blame for ODB’s Absence

Fans have been questioning ODB‘s whereabouts ever since the Knockout disappeared from television over a month ago. Her absence, according to WrestlingNewsWorld.com, is due to a ruptured breast implant suffered earlier in the year. Apparently, she put off surgery until after the Genesis PPV, where she dropped the Knockouts Championship to Tara. A date for … Read more

Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

Filling in for Cryssi, as it were, I’m bringing you all TNA’s latest webmatch, featuring former running mates Angelina Love and Madison Rayne, sans her fellow Beautiful People. Watch the match below:

The first thing I notice is that Angelina Love seems to be taking a page out of Mickie James’s book and wearing jeans to wrestle. I sincerely hope this isn’t some blossoming trend, because, in my opinion, it’s an awful look. It just doesn’t look like proper wrestling gear to me, and God almighty, they look like they’d be uncomfortable to wrestle in. It makes me feel like I’m about to watch an impromptu streetfight rather than a regular match. But, whatever float her boat, I guess.

The match starts amongst a chorus of “AN-GEL-I-NA” chants and, being the regular Raw columnist, I can’t help but feel a sense of awe at the fans showing such enthusiasm for a Knockout. I mean, of course, their venue at Universal is much smaller than the WWE’s average arena, but it’s been a long time since we’ve heard that kind of reaction from a WWE crowd for a Diva. Hell, at this point, the most we can hope for during a Diva match is anything but dead silence. But, I guess that has more to do with the WWE’s booking of their Divas that prevents them from getting over with the fans (and 15-second matches sure as hell aren’t accomplishing that) than it does the Divas themselves.

But anyways, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Angelina and Madison start with a collar-and-elbow tie-up, Madison gaining control. Angelina hits an arm drag and latches Madison into an arm bar, eventually standing up and hitting a leg drop on the prone arm. Both get to their feet and Angelina tries to wrench that same arm, but gets a boot to the stomach. Madison gets her in a side headlock, whipping her to the mat with a takedown and keeping the headlock applied on the mat.

Angelina’s shoulder hit the mat and the referee gets a 1-count. Angelina manages to power out, latching her legs around Madison’s neck and applying a headscissors. Madison repeatedly tries to kip-up out of the hold and Angelina eventually relents. When they both get to their feet, Angelina keeps control, hitting a forearm and an irish-whip, sending Madison into the ropes and hitting a hip toss on the return. She continues her offensive streak into a powerslam. Madison cowers in the corner and tricks Angelina into coming over, pulling her face-first into the turnbuckle. She uses her boot to choke Angelina on the bottom rope, the referee eventually getting her to stop.

Angelina tries to power back with a few shots to Madison’s midsection, but Madison keeps her down. She runs Angelina head-first into another turnbuckle, then choking her against that as well. She brings Angelina to the center of the ring, going for a suplex that she blocks, reversing the momentum into a small package pin. She gets a 2-count.

Right out of the pin, Madison lays her out with a clothesline. She then sets up an unorthodox move (one where you spend a few seconds thinking “What are you going for here?”), climbing onto a seated Angelina’s shoulders and flipping it, pounding her face-first onto the mat in some weird bucking motion. The crowd and Tazz (keep it under control, buddy) obviously go bug-eyed at it. She goes for the pin and Angelina kicks out at 2. She gets Angelina in a sleeper hold (at least this one can’t be construed as sexual..), and the crowd rallies behind Angelina as she slowly gets to her feet. A few well-placed elbows to Madison’s midsection get her free.

Angelina runs the ropes, ducking a clothesline from Madison and hitting one of her own. She goes on another offensive streak, sending Madison into the corner and hitting a bulldog when she staggers back to the center of the ring. She goes for the pin, and gets a 2-count. Angelina grabs Madison, but Madison gains control, grabbing Angelina’s head over her shoulder, but Angelina shoves her into the ropes, nailing a bicycle kick on the return, pinning Madison for the 3-count and the win.

That was a decent little match, and served to tell an interesting story, as it seems to be that Angelina is looking to take out one Beautiful Person at a time. I guess it doesn’t matter if it’s in an untelevised match. Still, Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich remain, and something tells me that matches with either of them won’t be as entertaining as the one we just saw. Madison, in my opinion, is the best worker of the three, and Angelina is fantastic herself. This was the best combination, and it’s a shame that it didn’t get air time on the main broadcast. Still, I’m glad to see and and I really enjoyed it, especially after being inundated with the crappy excuses for matches that the WWE has been serving up as of late. I could do without the face-pounding humping move, but beggars can’t be choosers. Wow, did I just write that sentence?

 

SmackDown Spoilers: April 2nd, 2010

Spoilers for this Friday’s SmackDown are in. Click ‘show’ to read:

More detailed spoilers have been added.

Spoiler
* Swagger walking backstage. Asks Slammaster J, Tony Atlas, and Mickie James “did you see what just happened out there?”. They start talking about Shad & JTG splitting up. Yep, bury your champ some more. Swagger then runs into Shelton. “You still work here?”. Yep bury a potential challenger some more.

* Backstage w Vickie & Simply Flawless. Enter Swagger. Vickie says that she can help him, as Smackdown Consultant, and gives him his requested mic time later.

* Straight Edge Society comes out. Punk on the mic = gold. Gallows & Serena take the mic and put him over. Serena’s good! Punk gets on the mic and cuts an easy promo on Las Vegas as the City of Sin, and that what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas, but haunts you for the rest of your life. Or something like that. He then says he’s not giving up on saving Rey Misterio and is willing to put up his hair against Mysterios mask. On his way up the ramp, Teddy Long comes out to announce that Punk is going to face the Undertaker later tonight. Big pop.

* Simply Flawless w/ Vickie vs. Beth Phoenix/Tiffany. Nothing special or memorable. Got heat on Vickie, Beth got the hot tag and put it away. Meh. (Source: F4WOnline.com)

Thoughts after the cut:

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Raw Redux (March 29th, 2010): I Shall Never Underestimate the WWE Again


My thoughts exactly, Mickie.

Now, that title may sound like I actually enjoyed the action from last night’s Raw, but anyone who watched the show would know that that just isn’t possible, unless you enjoy watching acute forms of torture. What I mean by the title is that, like last week, we always claim that the WWE’s treatment of the Raw Divas cannot possibly get any worse. I mean, we go from a 1-minute match to a 50-second match and many of us jokingly suggested that the WWE can do better than that–they can get the matches EVEN shorter! Needless to say, they met that challenge head on and delivered a match that somehow, by the grace of Zeus (who, by the way, I picture looking like Liam Neeson dressed in shimmering armor) was even shorter, more pointless, and an even greater waste of talent and time. Like I said, I’ll never underestimate the WWE again!

Now, getting into the specifics, we started the show with what was obviously an omen for how things were going to go. We are told that tonight, in keeping with the theme of the show, which was hosted by Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from “Hot Tub Time Machine”, we would be treated punished with a hot tub “match”. As it turns out, it was more of a hot tub contest, with the winner being the one who stayed in the hot tub the longest. Tiffany, Rosa Mendes, Brie Bella, and Nikki Bella are sporting bikinis and seated in a rather unhygienic looking hot tub with the night’s hosts.

Now, I know as well as you that the punchline is coming from a mile away–unattractive person enters the hot tub and chases the men away. But still, someone suggests that the winner get a shot at the Divas Championship. Great, because that’s just what we need! It’s been about a year since a man won a Divas-only distinction. We’re due, yes? Obviously, that was not meant to be taken seriously because, as you see, we’d then have Mark Henry challenging Maryse, and I don’t think anyone’s holding their breath in anticipation for that. Oh sorry, did I spoil the ending for you? Sorry. Watch the “contest” below and try to enjoy it regardless:

PART 1

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Raw Response: March 29th, 2010

Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from this past week’s movie release “Hot Tub Time Machine” host Raw tonight. Check in for all the WrestleMania fallout by watching the show at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Impact Feedback: March 29th, 2010

Impact is not live this week, but the action is enticing nevertheless, with Tara set to take on Daffney in a First Blood match. Tune in at 9/8ct on Spike TV to watch, and click here to read the show’s spoilers. Discuss the show in the comments!

WrestleMania Rewind: Lita Gets Involved in TLC Match at WM17

Over the next few days, in the lead up to this Sunday’s big WrestleMania 26 event, we’ll be taking a look back at some of the memorable moments in WrestleMania history that involved the WWE Divas. Each of the Diva Dirt team have picked a moment that they loved to share with you all. Today, it’s Erin’s WrestleMania rewind.

Erin: My moment is a little unconventional in the sense that it’s not technically a Diva moment. It wasn’t a Diva match, nor did it feature more than one Diva. However, I feel that it was one of the most exciting moments in my memories of WrestleMania. This moment is the Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match from WrestleMania X7, and for a long time it has been one of my favorite matches based merely on the excitement and sense of importance you felt while watching each team take a beating via the aforementioned tables, ladders, and chairs. Only one Diva, of course, was fit to stick her nose in this match, and that was Lita. She was the Diva most capable of standing toe-to-toe with the guys (barring Chyna, I suppose) in this risky environment, and from taking on the likes of Edge, Rhyno, and the Dudleyz, she certainly got enough ring time for not even being a legal participant in the match. I was pretty young and new to wrestling when I saw this match, so I was especially thrilled to pieces to see a woman get so involved in what was strictly a “men’s” match. This moment was the embodiment of what made Lita so popular, in my opinion–she traded blows with the guys (with steel chairs, nonetheless), pulled off jaw-dropping moves, and was entirely capable of taking a beating herself. If only a Diva these days could make such a mark on a big-time WrestleMania match.

Watch the second part:

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Raw Redux (March 22nd, 2010): A Waste of 50 Seconds & 10 Women

This week’s Raw brought up a lot of questions, none of which relate to anticipation towards WrestleMania or the future of the Divas division. The questions were more akin to “Why did I watch all of Raw for a 50 second match?” and “What’s on HBO? (Answer: Spider-Man)“. Needless to say, tonight’s events were a bit of a mind boggling clusterfuck, and not just because there were approximately 34 Divas at ringside for the match of varying brand loyalty. After last week’s 1-minute long match, I jokingly suggested on Twitter that this week’s match try and beat that “record”. Sadly, I believe they did, and in quite an embarrassing fashion, too. Behold:


skip to 4:50

We begin in a promising, though confusing fashion, with Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, and Eve Torres in the ring with Mickie James (welcome back!) and Kelly Kelly at ringside. It’s pretty interesting to see Beth alongside the “good girls”, not to mention in the mix of Raw at all. Then come Maryse, Michelle McCool, and Layla, flanked by Vickie Guerrero and Alicia Fox. It’s a bit confusing, this brand crossover, especially since they haven’t even explained why it’s happening yet. This specific scenario seems like way too many “cooks in the kitchen”, in a manner of speaking, but if they were putting so many Divas at ringside at once, something interesting has to happen, right? Or so you’d think..

Gail and Michelle start off the match for their teams, Michelle kicking things off with a kick (*rimshot*), wrenching Gail’s arm. Gail twists is back and nails Michelle with the back of her elbow. She leaps up and hits a frankensteiner, nailing Michelle in the corner, trading blows with her through the ropes. She leaps over the ropes and nails Michelle with a clothesline, going for the pin and getting a 2-count. Gail preps for the Eat Defeat but Layla distracts her, allowing Michelle to go for a leg sweep. Gail counters it into a pin, but Michelle flips the pin into one of her own, but instead holding Gail and switching into a standing position, nailing the Faith Breaker in a clever reversal. She gets the pin and the win for her team.

And just like that, it’s over. Lasting a whopping 50 seconds (Beating last week’s speed record by 10 seconds; what is this, a luge race?), this is apparently what we get when we have 10 women at ringside in a cross-brand exchange on the very last Raw before WrestleMania. Was it a victim of poor time management by the WWE or just a resounding lack of effort by the bookers? It really felt like a segment with ambitions of taking up 10 minutes that was snipped down to a 1 measly minute. Either way, it’s embarrassing and makes you wonder why they even tried. It’s embarrassing and awkward for all the Divas to mosey on out to the ring, only to be worthy of a minute of screen time. I mean, what was the point of putting them all out there, besides getting some meager face time? And, by the way, why haven’t they even EXPLAINED what the SmackDown girls are fucking doing on Raw in the first place??

What message does that send when the promos building up to the John Cena/Batista “face off” lasted longer than this whole segment? Clearly, like we’ve been saying for what seems like forever, the Divas are on a whole different level of priority to the WWE’s writers. That is to say, Cena and Dave are on the top floor, and the Divas are somewhere underneath the floorboards.

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Impact Feedback: March 22nd, 2010

Impact is live again tonight, and is set to feature an 8-Knockout tag team match: Tara, Angelina Love, Sarita & Taylor Wilde vs. The Beautiful People & Daffney. Tune in at 9/8ct on Spike TV to watch it all go down. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (March 15th, 2010): Blurring the Lines

After last week’s Raw, all signs seemed to be pointing towards Eve Torres being the front runner for a title feud with Maryse, but a few inter-brand cameos may have just turned us in another direction. Is this a good direction or a bad one? Let’s watch this week’s action and judge for ourselves:

Kelly Kelly makes her way to the ring, followed by Maryse. Common sense indicates that this will be a squash match, but with how Maryse has been wrestling lately (that is, barely wrestling) it seems tough for them to pull off a real squash.

Before the match can begin, Maryse takes a moment to do her trademark pose, and Kelly climbs the turnbuckle to do one of her own. I have to say that it looked a little silly, but that’s only because Kelly’s never been the “sexpot” type, and even in her Extreme Expose days the girl seemed to lack that kind of overt sexiness. Anywho, Maryse attacks her while she has her back turned, and the match begins.

Kelly takes control rather quickly, going on an offensive streak that eventually degenerates into a catfight. The referee breaks it up and Kelly goes for a kick that Maryse blocks, flipping her backwards and back onto her feet. Kelly hits Maryse with a knee-level dropkick and then goes back to pounding Maryse’s head to the mat. This type of intensity from Kelly makes it seem like these two have had something building, even though they’ve only wrestled together a handful of times. I guess it’s just an easy way to fill up offense before Maryse eventually sneaks out the win, and that’s all there is to it.

Kelly hoists a leg onto the back of Maryse’s neck, hitting a bit of a modified version of the K2. She goes for the pin, and Maryse kicks out at 2. Both Divas get to their feet slowly, but before Kelly can grab a hold of Maryse, she gets pulled face-first into the turnbuckle. Maryse pulls Kelly up, hits the the French Kiss, and it’s all said and done. She pins Kelly for the win.

Maryse decides to beat down on Kelly a bit, but Gail Kim and Eve bust in and give Maryse a beating of her own. Gail hits a neckbreaker on Maryse and she and Eve tend to Kelly. Then, out of nowhere, Michelle McCool and Layla come running in, dressed like two Daisy Duke impersonators, and lay out Gail and Eve. They level everyone in sight and pose a bit for the crowd, heading up the ramp to meet with Vickie Guerrero, the woman who seems to have full control over Diva happenings, whether they take place on SmackDown, Raw, or Mars. Maryse joins them, looking to form a shaky alliance with Laycool and Guerrero.

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Raw Response: March 15th, 2010

WWE legend Stone Cold Steve Austin host Raw tonight. Tune in for what’s sure to be a “stunning” night *rimshot*. As always, watch the show at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Celebrity Apprentice Recap: March 14th, 2010

Unless you’ve been absent from Diva Dirt for quite a while (tsk tsk, if so), you’d know that tonight saw the premiere of the new season of Celebrity Apprentice, featuring Maria. Below, we have a full recap of the show’s events, courtesy of Dan from MariaKanellisOnline.com. For photos and videos from the show, be sure … Read more