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Raw Response: February 1st, 2010

Tonight’s Raw guest GM is Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner. Also, tune in for the finals of the Divas Championship tournament, pitting Maryse vs. Gail Kim (read our predictions here). Discuss the show in the comments! EDIT: Since the match (which I’m 99.9% sure was actually scheduled for the show) didn’t take place, use the … Read more

Royal Rumble in Review: Sweet Revenge & A Rumble Match Treat

Week after week, we have witnessed Michelle McCool and Layla crack about 10,000 jokes, all with the same punchline: Mickie is fat. As lamented as this “Piggie James” storyline has been here at Diva Dirt, with its fat jokes and barnyard humor, it has been given one of the biggest buildups in recent Diva memory, and it was reasonable to think that they would cap off this pretty silly storyline with a decent enough match, at least to make the juvenile booking somewhat worth it. After all, their match at TLC was pretty damn good. Let’s see if Mickie and Michelle were able to transcend the “Mean Girls” cliches and mature a bit:

Michelle comes out to the ring, microphone in hand, and explains to the crowd that Mickie was a no-show tonight. “Where oh where has my piggie gone?”, she laments. She figures Mickie is forfeiting. Layla shows up in her fat suit, doing the same Mickie impression she did last Friday. She doesn’t get very far, though, before the real Mickie emerges and attacks her. She tosses FatSuitLayla into the barricade, as Michelle looks horrified. Did she really think Mickie was a no-show? Would that be why they left her off SmackDown last week–to fool Michelle into thinking Mickie went into hiding? That’s the only reason I can think of why Layla would come prancing down to the ring in a fat suit not once, but twice, and not even watch her back.

Mickie gets into the ring, and the match starts. FatSuitLayla isn’t quite done sticking her plastic pig nose into Mickie’s business, though, and climbs up the apron to distract her. It works for a split second, and Michelle charges with her boot but Mickie dodges, replaying a similar collision from TLC: Michelle accidentally delivers a big boot to Layla and lays out her backup. Michelle turns around right into a kick from Mickie, who plants her with the Mickie T. One 3-count later, and we have a new Women’s Champion!

FatSuitLayla comes into to check on her fallen friend, and Mickie hits her with a kick that lands her smack dab on top of Michelle. Meanwhile, several babyface Divas (Maria, Gail, Kelly, Eve, and the Bellas) come to the ring with a rather large cake in tow. Similar to what Laycool and Beth did to Mickie a week before, the Divas prop up Michelle and Layla as Mickie plants the giant cake in both their faces, the other Divas smearing it in. Michelle and Layla do a good job of acting horrified and look pretty damn hilarious blinded by yellow cake and icing while pitching a fit. Mickie celebrates with her newly-won title and smears some more icing in their faces, tasting it for good measure. All the good girls make their exit as the bad girls wallow in their “just desserts” (it’s okay, you can boo.. it was a pretty awful joke).

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Divas Title Match on Raw

Fresh from crowning a new Women’s Champion, WWE will crown a new Divas Champion tonight as Gail Kim and Maryse compete in the finals of the Divas Championship tournament tonight on Raw. The Divas Title was vacated one month ago when former champion, Melina suffered an injury at a house show.

Weekly Serena Watch (Week 1): Rolling with DX

SmackDown newcomer, Serena may have been conspicuously missing from the SmackDown Redux yesterday but we felt that the Redux should solely concentrate on Diva storylines, but that’s not to say we don’t want to see what our favourite bald Diva’s up to! ‘Weekly Serena Watch‘, not to be confused with the previous ‘Weekly Savannah Watch’, … Read more

SmackDown Redux (January 29th, 2010) – The Joke’s Over, Folks

For the past few months, the storyline on SmackDown has centered around Mickie James‘ weight with the Diva being taunted and called ‘Piggie James’. WWE even went as far as to create a graphic like the old Looney Tunes cartoons saying, “That’s all, folks” — a line reused by Michelle McCool on this week’s SmackDown. What became evident on this week’s SmackDown is that the joke is wearing thin and to WWE, I say: “The joke’s over, folks.”

Women’s Champion Michelle McCool discusses the huge favour she did for the fans by running Mickie James off SmackDown last week — complete with replays! Michelle then challenges any of the girls to face her right then and there for the Women’s Championship in lieu of her Royal Rumble match with Mickie. James’ music hits but instead of Mickie, out comes Layla in a fat suit wearing a similar outfit to Mickie’s signature ring attire — complete with hat! Cue a ‘hell to the no’ look on the face of the viewer but the anger soon subsides as Layla begins jiggling around on stage and as offensive as I found it, I couldn’t help but giggle at Layla’s delivery which had some humour in it.

Layla as ‘Piggie James’ makes her way down the ramp before getting on the microphone claiming she didn’t get enough food last week. It was mean but funny. Layla then gets into the ring challenging Michelle for the belt, Layla runs at Michelle in the corner who moves out of the way and trips Layla before pinning her for the win.

The underlying Mickie bullying continues and after last week’s humiliation it was hard to top that this week. I think WWE did such an amazing job last week in making Mickie relatable to the audience and then not to even have her on the show this week was ridiculous. They had an opportunity to capitalise on the way they used her last week and blew it. A quick backstage promo saying she would be at the Rumble and she would prove herself there would have done the trick, I mean how hard could a quick segment like that be? Instead what we got was more childish humour that makes you not care about the angle. Instead of making it seem like a true storyline, as it came across last week, with us wanting to root for Mickie — what WWE has done has made fans roll their eyes and want the childish drama to be over. There’s only so many shenanigans that you can pull off before they start to wear thin and this one did wear thin on the audience.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 28th, 2010): Predictable Fun

This week we’re continuing the trend of the Raw Divas wrestling on WWE Superstars, this time with some lesser-used Divas. Brie and Nikki Bella are teaming up to face the un-crowned JOB Squad of the WWE, Jillian and Katie Lea. Watch the match below:

The Bellas make their entrance, and Jillian and Katie Lea enter together to Jillian’s music (how weird is it to see Katie Lea walk out to Jillian warbling? it definitely doesn’t fit, to say the least). Brie and Katie Lea start things off, Katie latching her into a reverse bear hug maneuver. Brie gets free, turning it into a hip toss. She keeps a hold on Katie’s arm, wrenching it and dragging her to her corner, tagging in Nikki. They both grab Katie’s legs and flip forward in a move that isn’t so much effective as it is flashy (but that’s par for the course with the newer Divas these days, I guess). Nikki goes for the pin and gets 2.

Katie gains control and forces Nikki into the corner, tagging in Jillian. She gives Nikki a kick before tossing her across the ring by her hair. She takes Nikki’s arm and twists it back in a bit of an unorthodox half nelson. She woman-handles Nikki a bit before whipping her into the corner, going for an attack but getting an elbow to the face instead. She gives Jillian a kick before climbing the turnbuckle and hitting a flying body press. She goes for the pin, and gets a 2-count, quickly pulling Jillian up and tagging in Brie.

Nikki tosses Jillian off the ropes and hits an arm drag, then hitting another arm drag on Brie, landing her on top of Jillian. Brie attempts a pin, but no luck. Brie hits her leaping snapmare, then goes for a monkey flip but is distracted by Katie Lea, allowing Jillian to shove her to the mat. Jillian plants a few boots on her and chokes her on the ropes, relenting to the referee’s scolding and stepping back.

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SmackDown Spoilers: January 29th, 2010

Check below for spoilers for Friday’s show by clicking the ‘+’ to read:

SmackDown - January 29th, 2010
* Michelle McCool interview. She says she is going to send Piggy James back to the barnyard for good, etc. Then ends by say Mickie went wee, wee, wee all the way home. Michelle issues an ope challenge to the locker room. Mickie James’ music hits and Layla comes out in a fat suit with a pig nose dressed like Mickie James.

• • •

* Michelle McCool vs. Layla (dressed as Piggy James). Layla slowly chases McCool around the outside of the ring, back in and goes for a splash. McCool pins her for the win. The crowd lets them hear it with “boring” chants. (Source: WrestlingNewsWorld.com)

Thoughts after the cut:

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Raw Redux (January 25th, 2010) – The Clock’s Ticking…

Last week we were caught a bit off guard when the WWE decided to hold a tag team match instead of the semi-finals of the Divas Championship Tournament. It seemed to me back then that it would suck out what little momentum the tournament already had, but did it? Let’s take a look at this week’s action–two semi-finals matches–and see if the tournament has any momentum left going into the finals.

First up we have Maryse and Eve Torres in their semi-final match. Maryse gets on the microphone, telling the other Divas in the tournament that they are “just wasting their time”, and that she is most certainly going to win the Divas Championship. The Divas could have known this weeks ago if they only read Diva Dirt, but I suppose the point is made clearer when spoken in French. She is interrupted by guest GM Dulé Hill (of “Psyche” fame) messing with the pyrotechnics. He blasts the entrance ramp with pyro, and Maryse has a few choice words for him. It’s funny, and Hill provides a good foil for Maryse’s bitchy anger (he was also a good foil for another Diva’s wrath, but we’ll get to that later). Finally, Eve makes her entrance and the match starts:

They start with a tie-up, Eve delivering a few blows to Maryse and backing her into the corner. She continues with this dominance until the ref separates them. Maryse then slaps her across the face and goes for another, but Eve ducks and hits a dropkick, going for the pin. Maryse kicks out, and Michael Cole remarks how Eve winning would be a “mild upset”. Try total upset, Cole, you and me both know there ain’t no way Maryse is losing.

Maryse whips Eve into the ropes, but Eve stops her own momentum and delivers a kick to the face. She bounces off the ropes once more and slams Maryse to the mat hair first (maybe head first, but Maryse’s weave is looking mighty long these days..). Eve hits her somersault splash and attempts a pin, Maryse kicking out at 2. Maryse seeks refuge in the corner, but Eve sandwiches her with a flying clothesline, planting her to the mat with a scoop slam. She climbs to the top rope (Maryse casually~ getting into position), going for a moonsault that doesn’t connect. Maryse rolls out of the way just in time, and Eve eats mat.

Maryse looks to take advantage of this by hitting the French Kiss right then and there, but Eve reverses it into a Northern Lights Suplex. It wasn’t Molly Holly-esque by any means (she couldn’t hold the bridge, for one), but she goes for the pin nonetheless, and Maryse kicks out.

Maryse holds onto the ropes as Eve tries to drag her away, and Maryse kicks her in the stomach, pulling her to the center of the ring and planting her with the French Kiss. One provocative~ pin later, and Maryse advances to the finals.

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WWE Superstars Spoilers: January 28th, 2010

More Raw Divas action for WWE Superstars! Perhaps this could be the new wrestling showcase for the lesser-used Divas? I hope so! Click the ‘+’ for results for Thursday’s show:

WWE Superstars - January 28th, 2010
* The Bellas beat Katie Lea & Jillian Hall. Katie took the fall. (Source: PWTorch.com)

Thoughts after the cut:

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Raw Response: January 25th, 2010

Actor Dulé Hill from USA Network’s “Pysch” is hosting Raw tonight. Tune in for the semi-finals of the Divas Championship Tournament (that is, if the WWE sees fit to actually do hold them this week). Discuss the show in the comments!

SmackDown Redux (January 22nd, 2010): Seminal Moment for SmackDown

It’s official: this is where women’s wrestling is at. SmackDown, in my humble estimation, is now the premiere series to be watching if you are looking for women’s wrestling on your televisual boxes. That was never more evident than tonight’s episode, where despite not even having a match, SmackDown proved that it is the show that everyone should be watching. Compelling storylines, well written characters and great performances — it’s hard not to do double-take. This is WWE, right? Despite the recent years of fluff and disappointment, WWE have delivered perhaps one of their strongest Divas storylines in quite some time and this week’s show is a seminal moment in what I expect will be a turning of the tide. There’s nothing Diva-y about this week’s SmackDown, to spin the old line used by WCW — this is where the big girls play.

Beginning this week’s Divas action, we saw the debut of Serena Mancini in what may go down as one of the most memorable debuts in Diva history.

PART 1

PART 2

Serena appears as a fan jumping the barricade during another scintilating straight edge promo from CM Punk, claiming she needs him. He says she knows he needs him. Honestly, the initial dialogue was as cheesy as a Twilight movie and I was expecting Punk to throw in a “You are my life now” at some point. That said, it did get better and Punk is golden at his whole shtick. We see Serena willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and denounce her life of addiction etc. and has her shaved head in the name of her saviour, Punk.

All in all, I think this was a good segment and Serena played the cult-like psycho very well. It’ll be interesting to see how she’s used from here with her bald head. I hope this works out for her, it’s a great sacrifice to make but she’s in the big leagues now. I hope she didn’t sacrifice this just to be the glorified bald manager for Punk’s Straight Edge Society. The setup of that group doesn’t really suggest to me that it’ll have a typical manager/wrestler dynamic ala Hart Dynasty. I expect we’ll see Serena actually getting nitty-gritty and I look forward to it. Perhaps she herself could target a Diva and try to ‘help’ them?

Next up, Mickie’s ‘going away’ party:

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Royal Rumble Official Match Preview

As reported earlier in the week, Women’s Champion Michelle McCool will defend her title against Mickie James at the Royal Rumble in just over a week’s time. The bout will be the pair’s second consecutive pay per view encounter following last month’s favourably-reviewed TLC match. WWE.com has now posted an official match preview: After coming … Read more

Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 21st, 2010): A Slight Twist

Last week’s Superstars Mixed Tag match didn’t exactly set the world on fire, and I expressed hope that the WWE would use this program to showcase a weekly Divas match, preferably one-on-one. Well, this week brings hope that they might actually be heading in that direction, as we’ve got Kelly Kelly taking on Jillian in a singles match. It’s certainly a different Diva combination from we’ve seen lately, so I’m interested in seeing how they’ll work together–will it be good, bad, horrific? Check out the match below and find out for yourself:

Jillian makes her way to the ring, and proceeds to tell the audience about how she had felt nervous about tonight until she heard a Miley Cyrus song on the radio, that song being “Party in the USA”, which I believe is the only song in the history of music whose Kidz Bop cover sounds better (not that I’ve listened to either voluntarily.. *cough*). Jillian butchers the song, and the crowd boos her within an inch of her life. It’s weird, but I think Miley got the biggest heat the WWE’s seen in a while. Maybe they can channel that into a shitty impersonation by Santino.

Kelly interrupts the singing, getting a rather large pop. She enters the ring, and the match begins with a tie-up, Jillian immediately nailing Kelly with a knee to her stomach. She wrenches Kelly’s arm, prompting her to head to the corner and climb the turnbuckle, hitting a sitdown flip off the top rope and sending Jillian flying with the resulting armdrag. Kelly keeps the momentum going, hitting a frankensteiner and hooking Jillian’s leg for a 2-count.

She pounds Jillian’s head a bit, then attempting a kick that Jillian blocks, catching her leg. Kelly does a backwards flip to escape, but once back on her feet Jillian takes her down with a clothesline. Talk about a spinning head.. Jillian attempts a pin, getting 2. She picks Kelly up by the hair, shaking her head violently. She continues with the hair-driven attacks, tossing Kelly across the ring by her blonde locks. With the popularity of weaves amongst the Divas you’d think those types of moves would be outlawed, a la the shooting star press from a while back. Hey, it is dangerous–exposing fake hair counts as breaking kayfabe!!

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