“If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment” could not have been a more perfect title to Vainety Fair today. Just the thought made me double over in laughter to put a light spin on what could be considered a painful day. You see, I was rejected today. Yes me, Krissy Vaine, rejected for the millionth, bazillionth time in my life and it was not fun! Honestly, rejection never gets easier, but the amount of time I take it personally has reduced drastically over the years. Thank goodness! Fear of rejection is what I believe, keeps many people in their same redundant ‘safe’ life. Scared to come outside of their box, scared to spread their wings and fly. Luckily, I think of myself as pretty resilient, though it’s not always easy to be so! Human nature craves acceptance and it is one of the best feelings in the world when we do get it. But not everything can be rosy all the time! That wouldn’t even make sense… how would we grow? As a wrestling diva, model, actress and person who’s chosen to be in the entertainment business, I’ve had my fair share of both. But to be honest with all of you, there are many more nos in this business than yeses. That being said, it still doesn’t make it any easier.
Last week, I had an audition here in the town where I live for a big production that would be taking place in the springtime. Funny thing about these auditions is that you are often in a waiting room staring at your competition. Sizing them up. Wondering what their credentials are in comparison to yours and of course, if the role calls for a certain ‘look’, trying to figure out who is the best fit. Of course in my own mind, I was above and beyond the best person for the role. I nailed the audition, fit the character prototype perfectly, and honestly in my opinion, was the bomb diggity and a shoe in. (At this point, a piece of humble pie would be appreciated.) Good grief!
You can imagine my shock and utter amazement when I am informed by email that someone else was given the part! Grr, what?! EXCUSE ME??? In 0.2 seconds flat, my ego began to take over; tears started to well in my eyes, my bottom lip started to quiver and the waterworks started. It took me back to the 10th grade when I was cut from the cheerleading squad. In 10th grade, I thought my life was over. I had been cheering since I was practically born and what would I do for the year without it? And why me? What had I done to deserve that? However, somehow I got through that year and I expanded my horizons and branched out to learn things I never would have if I had been busy with the squad. I traveled with a theatre group and I started my first job that would teach me to work for my independence. The next year, I made the squad again as if a beat had never been skipped. The year without it had actually been a blessing and many lessons had been learned.
