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Impact Write-Up (September 16, 2010): The Lines are Drawn

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Greetings and salutations everyone! With Cryssi taking over the SmackDown Redux, I’ll be taking on writing up Impact. I’m excited about this, but I also hope I can do as good a job as she has done. Let’s get right down to it, shall we?

This week, we have TNA Knockout Tag Team Champions Taylor Wilde and Hamada facing off against Madison Rayne and the newly-returned to TV Lacey von Erich. It would be a major upset if Madison & Lacey were to overcome this formidable team. Can they work together to regain the gold? Or will Hamaylor keep those shiny belts around their waists? Find out below.

Before the match, we go backstage to see Lacey, Madison and Tara in their lockeroom. Lacey is clad in a towel yet again… perhaps it’ll be her new ring attire? Madison gushes about how great it is to see Lacey, and springs the news on her that they have a tag title match “like five minutes ago!” Lacey looks confused and she mentions that she hasn’t made her decision yet. At this, Madison’s temper flares. She screeches about how it wasn’t her that laid her out a few weeks ago and that there is no decision to make. Together, her and Tara bully Lacey into submission, ordering her to get dressed before leaving in a huff. Poor Lacey looks unhappy but there seems to be little she can do but comply.

The Beautiful People’s music hits and out come Tara and Madison on the motorbike, Lacey trailing behind. Without waiting for either of the two, Lacey bounces into the ring, which causes Madison to look slightly irritated. She shrugs it off and whilst Tara climbs into the ring, Madison climbs up onto the apron. Tara nudges Lacey out of the way so she can perch on the bottom rope and lean over, giving Madison’s ass a smack. Which is followed by a quick kiss. Tara goes to give Lacey a kiss as well but the blonde wants a handshake instead. I admit, I laughed! Taylor’s music hits and out come Taylor and Ayako, the latter of which has her belt hung around her neck. After posing on one knee, Hamada takes Taylor’s hand, spins her and gives her a smack on the behind! Cheeky Ayako! The two make their way to the ring and after posing for a moment or two, the match gets underway with Taylor and Lacey starting it off.

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TNA Impact Loses UK Home as Bravo Shuts Down

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TNA’s flagship show, Impact, has lost it’s home in the UK as British Sky Broadcasting (BSkyB), which recently acquired Bravo and other cable channels, announced today that it will shut down the channel. The Guardian newspaper reports that Sky deemed Bravo too similar to its own cable channel, Sky1, which happens to air WWE’s Superstars … Read more

Impact Write-Up (September 2nd, 2010): SURPRISE! It’s Tara! Seriously!

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After weeks and weeks of pointless speculation, outlandish theories, and minor spoilers from other Knockouts, Tara finally showed her actual face on TNA television again. Absolute SHOCK reigned supreme in the Impact Zone and I’m sure I wasn’t the only person scratching my head at the dramatic turn of events! The announcers even seemed amazed. I mean hello! Tara is back and she’s helping the woman who ended her career no less! It’s mind boggling. It’s truly baffling. It’s more confusing that a statistical lecture in an 8am psychology class. It’s TNA! And in TNA, things don’t have to make sense!

Tonight we get underway with a pretty kick ass video package highlighting this feud between Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, Madison Rayne, and Tara. They show some clips from what I can only assume is TNA Reaction of the women talking, and that leads into a Knockouts Tag Team Match. The theme music for the Beautiful People begins to play and Velvet and Angelina are announced. Instead of those two coming to the ring, however, Madison and the yet to be unmasked Tara ride out from their usual spot. They stand there and wait because eventually, the original BPs do make their way on stage. Angelina and Velvet have coordinated themselves tonight with silver and black ring gear, and Velvet is carrying a riding crop. They do their usual ring entrance, much to the disgust of Madison and Tara, and play to the crowd for a little bit. Madison and Tara cautiously make their way to the ring, but Velvet and Angelina have come for a fight and they cut them off before they make it any further. Angelina beelines for Madison, and Velvet starts laying the smackdown on Tara!

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Mystery Biker Chick Revealed on Impact (to the Surprise of No One)

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Former TNA Knockouts Champion, Tara was revealed to be the woman under the biker helmet — and mask — on tonight’s episode of Impact, thus concluding the greatest mystery in all of women’s wrestling. *Cough* It’s been an interesting, yet bumpy story over the past few months for Tara, real name Lisa Marie Varon. In … Read more

Impact Write-Up (August 26th, 2010): Beautiful People Versus Beautiful People

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Before we even begin, I want to apologize for the severe lateness of this article. As I posted on my Twitter (@_trophyWAG), I lost my internet sometime during the morning on Friday and wasn’t able to have it fixed until late yesterday (Monday) afternoon. I’m sure by now the majority of you don’t care what happened on Impact and you certainly don’t want to rehash it, but I can’t leave a half-written piece just sitting around in drafts, haha. Anyway enjoy this shortened, super late Impact Write-Up!

On Thursday’s Impact, the ongoing saga of the Beautiful People continued but this time in the form of an in-ring segment. Angelina Love and Velvet Sky officially came together again and put their past behind them. The reunion celebration was short lived and a massive brawl ended up taking place.

Angelina and Velvet, reunited at last, both came out to the ring together this week in street clothes. They did their vintage Beautiful People entrance and I’m not sure if it’s just me, but boy was it weird to hear them get a face reaction. After a few minutes of posing and whatnot, Angelina took the microphone and the music faded out. She admitted that she has made quite a few mistakes in her life and said that Velvet has as well. But through it all, she honestly felt like the friendship she shared with Velvet was real and in the wrestling business, real friendships were hard to come by. Angelina continued on by saying that when she split from Velvet, and they went their separate ways, she felt like something was missing. Angelina made the assumption that all of us felt the same way and Velvet is quick to agree that she backs up that sentiment. That fans marked. Angelina said that she’s not always a perfect little angel and that when she wants too, she can be a pretty mean bitch. But she wants herself and Velvet to forgive and forget so  both of them can move on with their lives. Velvet took the microphone next.

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The Beautiful People Reunion Tops Impact Ratings

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Congratulations are in order for Angelina Love and Velvet Sky, as their highly anticipated reunion as The Beautiful People last week scored the highest rated segment on Impact according to ProWrestling.net. Ang and Vel-Vel, as well as Madison Rayne, all cut extremely strong promos on last week’s show followed be an equally exciting catfight. The … Read more

Impact Write-Up (August 19th, 2010): Original Beautiful People Are Reunited And It Feels So Good!

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On last week’s Impact, the entire world witnessed Angelina Love win yet another TNA Knockouts Championship. The response to her historic victory was pretty underwhelming and rightfully so. Madison Rayne had been doing a phenomenal job as champion and why the title was taken from her we’ll never know. Seeing Angelina as champion brings nothing to the division that wasn’t there before but that’s just the state of wrestling these days. What’s done is done and there’s no use in questioning it anymore. It’s a brand new week and on this week’s Impact, we were treated to a Knockouts Championship rematch featuring Angelina and Madison.

Before the match go underway, we were treated to backstage promo featuring Angelina and Christy Hemme. Christy told all of us that tonight Madison was evoking her rematch clause and that there was a good chance that she wouldn’t be alone. Angelina said that with Madison it was never a fair fight because she was scared. Angelina reminded us of the last time she was Knockouts Champion. She complained that she had to literally give the belt back to Madison because the former title holder threw a little hissy fit. Angelina went on to say that Madison would only get the title back if she pried it from the champ’s cold, dead hands. Then she teased that she would have her own back-up with her tonight.

The challenger, the aforementioned Madison was the first Knockout to make her way to the ring tonight. She didn’t enter in the usual, Beautiful People fashion either. She rode out to the ring on the back of a motorcycle driven by Tara Mystery Woman. Madison was in a foul mood upon entering the ring and she started screaming at everyone in site. She jawed with a few fans and then turned her PMS rage to Earl Hebner. Eventually, Angelina’s music began to play and the Knockouts Champion made her way to the ring. She paused at the end of the entrance ramp and waited for the music of her back-up to start playing. A few seconds later, the Beautiful People theme started to play again and a delicious looking Velvet Sky made her way out. Madison flipped out upon seeing Velvet and she demanded that Mystery Woman get out of the ring and go take care of business. Mystery Woman made a beeline for Angelina, and Madison and Velvet headed for one another.

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Impact Write-Up (August 12th, 2010): Champ Again, Eh? Angelina Recaptures Gold.

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If you’re anything like me, then you cringed a few weeks ago when Angelina Love won the right to compete for the TNA Knockouts Championship against Madison Rayne. The outcome was all to predictable and of course, TNA once again went with the obvious. Outcome aside, was the match a must-see?

The challenger was the first to make her way to the ring and for once, Angelina looked almost okay. Her outfit wasn’t a complete eye sore and the color combination (a nice turquoise and black) suited her. Madison walked out a few seconds later dressed in a pink and black two-piece outfit, complete with skirt (Skirt Madison?) and bad hair extensions.

It’s a good thing wrestling isn’t about fashion. Wrestling also isn’t about which Knockout can molest the second rope better, but hey. I’m not judging anyone!

Angelina made a beeline towards Madison as soon as she got in the ring, but Madison smartly put the official between herself and the challenger. She wasn’t exactly ready to defend just yet. Of course, Angelina didn’t care and attempted to attack Madison, and with the referee stuck in the middle the timekeeper showed some sympathy and rang the bell. Madison got the first definitive strike in on her opponent and Angelina went staggering back and to her knees. Madison followed it up but the offense was short lived as Angelina began throwing punches. She forced Madison back into the corner and tried to whip her across the ring, but Madison was able to reverse it and Angelina slammed her back into the turnbuckles. Madison charged at Angelina with full speed but the numerous times ex-champion got her foot up and rooted Madison right in the mouth. Madison went flying back, but caught herself, and went right back at Angelina. Angelina was able to kick both feet up this time but Madison was ready, threw them between the ropes, and yanked Angelina down to her back by her hair.

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Impact Write-Up (August 5th, 2010): The Match That Launched A Thousand Retweets

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Tonight the long anticipated return of Hamada to Impact took place and sadly for her, it was in very unspectacular fashion. She teamed up with Taylor Wilde to take on the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions, Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich, and the match ended up being one of the worst TNA matches of all time. Granted, it was no Jenna/Sharmell fiasco, but it was pretty damn bad. If you don’t wish to take my word for it, I understand. All the proof lies within the video so feel free to see the ugliness for yourself.

The tag match officially kicked off the wrestling portion of the show tonight, so while everyone sat around and digested the epic and highly personal promo stand-off between Raven and Tommy Dreamer, the Beautiful People began to make their way towards the ring. Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich were in rare form tonight, carrying their titles with confidence. Each girl looked great as well. Kudos to LVE for becoming the first ever Beautiful People member with actual ring gear! Velvet was dressed in one of her usual outfits, and it’s not worth describing to be honest. The show cut to commercial as the Beautiful People played to the crowd but upon it’s return, Hamada and Taylor Wilde made their way to the ring. Their entrance was cute, and a bit cheeky. Hamada twirled Taylor around and slapped her on the ass, a la the Beautiful People. Shame Taylor Wilde’s ring gear continues to make my stomach turn. The Beautiful People stood on the outside of the ring as Taylor and Hamada hyped up the crowd. Velvet screamed at them and made reference to the fact that her title wasn’t going anywhere. When the BPs returned to the apron, Lacey hopped into the ring to start the match off against Taylor. The referee held the championships up and the match began.

Taylor coaxed Lacey into turning around so that everyone could admire her new, sparkly outfit. Of course, Lacey fell for it and Taylor immediately rolled her up for a pin. Lacey scrambled out of the before the referee could even get down and count and Taylor flew to the ropes to gain some momentum. Velvet backed up Lacey by cheaply distracting Taylor, who promptly turned around to bitch. Lacey hit her from behind and went for a spinning heel kick but Taylor dropped down and swept her off her feet. Taylor once again went to the ropes, but Lacey was there to catch her. Unfortunately what could have been a gorgeous move was hampered by the fact Lacey struggled to throw Taylor over her head. Oh well. Eventually, Lacey did what she wanted to do, and Taylor rolled over to tag in the rarely seen Hamada.

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Impact Write-Up (July 29th, 2010): New Number One Contender, Angelina Love! Again.

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In a strange attempt to prove that Hell has indeed froze over, TNA put together their second consecutive week of competent story telling. It’s shocking, I realize that, but us scorned Knockout fans are going to have to try very hard to wrap our heads around this rare, but exciting encounter. This week, the Beautiful People continue to have a go at one another, despite the fact they remain in control of the Knockouts division. And a brand new number one contender to the Knockouts Championship is determined in what turned out to be a pretty impressive match. What’s wrong with you TNA?! Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to make sense?

The Knockouts are first seen tonight courtesy of a backstage segment featuring the Beautiful People. Lacey Von Erich and Velvet Sky are discussing the recent happenings within the BP camp. Velvet is fussing with her make-up while she bitches about Madison; she’s still furious over everything. Lacey is trying to tell Velvet it’s in their best interest to stop while they’re ahead and just make up with one another. She wants to be best friends again. Velvet is not willing to do that. The conversation continues on and Knockouts Champion, Madison Rayne, enters into the picture. She walks in and stares Velvet down. Velvet demands to know what she wants and Madison says that she’s been thinking a lot about the situation between all of them and she thinks it would be stupid to break up the Beautiful People while they own every belt in the company. She continues on to say that they’ve been running the division since day one and that reign of dominance does not need to come to an end. Lacey is nodding along, agreeing with everything Madison is saying.

Velvet isn’t sold.

Velvet jumps to her feet and gets right up in Madison’s face. She tells her that the only reason the BP’s reign of terror is in jeopardy is because Madison is the one who clearly stated that she did not need the Beautiful People any longer. Velvet continues her rant by saying Madison is the one who took it upon herself to invite another member into their group without consulting herself and Lacey, and to top it all off, it was Madison who decided to team with Sarita last week. While Velvet is freaking out, Lacey is in the middle mumbling little things to Madison such as “we forgive you” ect. Velvet snaps at Lacey to shut up and Madison finally gets a chance to defend herself. Madison says that as far as her relationship with Sarita goes, Angelina and Sarita have a number one contender’s match for her Knockouts Championship tonight to which Velvet smirks “some friend.” Madison continues on by saying that when her back up did arrive last week, she extended the offer to both BP members to join them. Lacey happily chimes in that she took the invitation. Madison says that Velvet declined and now she doesn’t know what else Velvet could possibly want from her. Lacey adds that Velvet changed her mind. She didn’t.

Velvet said it’s to late for Madison to apologize. Madison shakes her head and says that she’s not going to beg Velvet for anything, but she does want things to go back to the way they were before. Lacey chirps that she doesn’t mind begging and she begins to do so. Madison then apologizes, quite a few times, and Lacey continues to plead with Velvet to forgive Madison. Velvet’s really annoyed over the situation but she does start to cave and very reluctantly agrees to a truce. The BPs hug it out and Lacey basically starts to cry because they’re all a family again.

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