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SmackDown Redux (April 15th, 2011): Michelle Has Frankenstein Feet While Rosa and Edge Audition for a Telenovela

It’s poor form to jack my intro simply to gush about Edge but since this is my Redux and my platform, I’m going to do exactly that. Besides if you want to be technical he has starred in a couple of these Reduxes and he’s had more than his fair share of Diva storylines. Edge is a brilliant performer and someone who I’ve adored ever since I first got into wrestling. He has it all; looks, talent, charisma, and the ability to make you feel what he feels. On Monday night, when he shockingly retired, I felt numb. I felt like I had just lost a little piece of my wrestling heart. I kind of did, if you want to be fair. No heel has ever made me cheer for them louder and I swear it has nothing to do with the fact Edge is gorgeous or that we share the same birthday. Edge is just that talented. And he is going to be sorely missed. I truly hope everyone can recognize the brilliance that Edge brought to the table. Love him or hate him, he got you talking about him. And I respect the hell out of him.

Thank you, Edge.

Okay, now on to tonight’s show! My mascara is fixed. I’m not going to drown in my tears any longer. Last week, Beth Phoenix and Kelly Kelly returned to action with a victory over Michelle McCool and Layla. This week, Kelly steps back inside the ring to try and prove that her victory in the tag team match was no fluke. She takes on Layla, who’s desperate to try and repair her relationship with her former BFF.

Toss in a therapy session and Rosa Mendes auditioning for Telemundo’s hottest telenovela, Los Herederos del Monte, and you have this week’s amazing edition of the SD Redux!

The doctor welcomes both girls to their first session and immediately Michelle questions why they’re there. They’re not Brangelina, Beyonce and Jay-Z, or any other “couple” in the world for that matter. She also wants to know why Layla is holding her hand and promptly jerks it away. A tissue holding Layla tells Michelle that they’re a team, kind of like Burt and Ernie or “Thelmer” and Louise. Michelle rolls her eyes and corrects Layla’s pronunciation of “Thelma” and says it’s great that Layla wants to compare them to puppets and two characters who drove off a cliff together. Layla says they were best friends like she and Michelle used to be. Michelle places emphasis on the “used to be” part and both girls go silent for a moment.

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Impact Write-Up (April 14th, 2011): Come Over to the Dark Side, Angelina (We Have Free Drinks)

Oh oh Oh oh Oh! Oh oh Oh oh! Oh oh Oh oh Oh! The Right Stuff! Wait…this is totally the wrong website for that. I’m sorry. Where was I? Oh yes. It is time for yet another Diva Dirt edition of the TNA iMPACT Write-Up, brought to you by yours truly! Last week, we saw a zombie finally turn on her BFF. Brainssssss! We also saw a motorcycle accident leaving a fallen contender with a more than a few scrapes and bruises. This week, the theme is retribution and you had better believe someone’s going to get it! So if you’re all for the heroic story or even a healthy beatdown or two then step into my office. We need to have a little chat.

Our first glimpse of the TNA Knockouts comes to us from backstage where Velvet Sky is banging on what appears to be the locker room of Angelina Love, giving the fact that Velvet is screaming her name like a banshee. A second later, Winter opens the door and steps out, telling Velvet to keep it down. Velvet screams that she isn’t talking to her and Winter tells her that Angelina is resting and in case Velvet hasn’t noticed, Angelina wants nothing to do with her former BFF. Vel Vel, obviously stressed, demands to know what Winter has done with her TBP partner but Winter takes it as an insult. Angelina is a big girl and can make her own decisions, having decided she wants nothing more to do with Velvet. Winter tells her to just live with it.

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It’s Time to Decide: Are You Team Lay or Team Cool? Let Us Help You Make Up Your Mind!

The end is near, kids. After over 18 months of decreeing childish nicknames upon their foes, speaking in unison and well, rocking fierce fashions that made us envy them, LayCool are headed to Splitsville. The writing has been on the wall for quite some time but like the child caught in a divorce, we’ve stuck our heads under our pillows to drown out the sound of mommy #1 and mommy #2 fighting… until now. We can’t pretend any longer. It’s time to decide: Are you Team Lay or Team Cool?

Don’t panic! We wouldn’t just let you make that decision without some reading material first. Here are our arguments for choosing Team Lay and Team Cool…

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Mickie James Speaks on Status of Separated Shoulder, Says She’s Having a Blast in TNA

Number one contender for the Knockouts Championship, Mickie James spoke to Busted Open this week about her match with Madison Rayne this Sunday, the status of her separated shoulder and much more. We have a few highlights:

Speaking on the match this Sunday and her shoulder injury, Mickie says:

“I’m really excited about it. I’m going in there with a separated shoulder and hopefully be able to tough through the match.

I’m feeling better every day honestly and trying to get more range of motion back and I definitely hope physically to be 100%. I don’t think my shoulder will be 100% but luckily it’s my left shoulder and I’m a righty, so that kind of helps.”

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Jackie Haas is Tough Enough: Week 2 (“Five for Flinching”)

Former Tough Enough champion, Jackie Haas blogs on the new series of Tough Enough. Read her insight and opinion on the series every week exclusively here at Diva Dirt.

Jackie injured her knee in training but had the courage to not quit. She ended up winning TE2.

Time to get ‘Tough’…

When it comes down to being a WWE Superstar, Trish hit the nail right on the head with the last contestant cut, Matt. The spotlight was on and he was in the dark. In my opinion, contrary to those of many others, I could not agree more with the decision to cut him. Matt has tremendous skill level and has great athletic ability but when you do nothing but complete the moves? That’s not what this competition is for. I believe it’s for the exact opposite.

For someone who has been in the ring for nearly a decade, he was told point blank it was time to shine and fell flat; in fact, he was overshadowed. You can teach someone the moves but you have to have an inner charisma that is able to shine and overtake within the WWE. Matt has been on the indy circuit for too long not be able to take Luke by the “balls” and showboat. When it’s your time to shine and you don’t deliver, there is not enough time in this competition to “play it safe” and “wait for your time.” Your time will come when you least expect it; personally, if I were to do it over again, there were so many things that I would have done so differently to make sure I captured every moment but hindsight is 20/20 (that and I chalk it up to being so young and having no real concept of what I had gotten myself into!). He had ample chance to show himself, even up to the last few moments of the show with Stone Cold in his face waiting for him to “man up.” Cricket, cricket, cricket… so cliché in this business.

A cricket does not equal WWE Superstar.

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Gail Kim Says She’s Not Retiring Anytime Soon

Raw Diva, Gail Kim wrote a comment on Twitter denying that she’d be retiring anytime soon. I haven’t seen any reports about it online, but apparently she’s been getting questions via Twitter about online rumors speculating her retirement.

She wrote: “retiring?haha why would I do that?I can still go with the best and still look good :))))hehe can’t get rid of me that easily!Haters u wish!”

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: WWE Hall of Fame 2011

Divas beware, we judge what you wear! Welcome back to an old favorite here at Diva Dirt — the Style Jury! We’ve dusted off the Diva Dirt Style Jury for this year’s WWE Hall of Fame! Which Divas looked red carpet ready and which looked like they belong in the Style Jury Hall of Shame? We have compiled all of the looks and marked them on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the scoring, we work out the combined score for each look and the Diva with the highest combined score is our winner and the Diva with the lowest combined score is our loser.

Click here to see last year’s Hall of Fame Style Jury!

So, let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Erin: The dress reminds me both of chain mail and an accent rug, which are neither good things when it comes to an evening gown. I appreciate that Alicia is taking a risk, but I think she went too far with it. It just overwhelms her, and looks a bit too bondage-y with all the straps. The headband doesn’t help much either. 3/10
Melanie: Alicia has always been ‘out there’ with her Hall of Fame choices, but I’m pleased to say I much prefer this to last year’s. Though I’m not feeling all of the straps, I think the design is cute — especially the hem of the dress. It’s certainly a bold choice and Alicia is treading a fine line between looking good and looking bad, but I think she pulls it off well. 5/10

Read on for more outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Tough Enough Redux (Episode 2): Marriage Proposals, Cujo and Miss Late USA

Following a glorious premiere episode last week, waiting six whole days for a new episode of Tough Enough felt like a mammoth task. Not going to lie, the anticipation left us feeling like Amy Winehouse looking for her next fix as we marked down days on our calendar. We even got the shakes. Alas, episode two finally graced our screens last night.

Will it live up to the hype of week one? Will Ivelisse and Christina get some more screen time? Will Miss 11 Years redeem herself? Will douchebag Michael with a K finally get punched in the face by ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin?

Let’s find out…

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Raw Redux (April 11th, 2011): Bellas’ Twin Magic Conjures Gold, Something ‘Awesome’ is Coming

After a couple weeks of Trish Stratus goodness, the Divas Champion, Eve Torres is back in the spotlight. On this week’s edition of Monday Night Raw, Eve defends her belt against one half of the Bella Twins, Brie Bella. Does the champ have a plan to combat The Bellas’ twin magic? Check out the match below:

We come from commercial to find both Bellas in the ring, both in ring gear (surprise, surprise). Out next is the Divas Champion, Eve and she’s come prepared. Eve whips out a permanent marker and has the referee mark Nikki Bella‘s hand, so she knows which one is in the ring. Very smart strategy from the champ. With the twin Divas successfully sorted, the official signals for the bell and out championship bout is underway.

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Awesome Kong Promo Airs on Raw

WWE aired a promo for Awesome Kong tonight on Raw before the Divas Championship match.

The promo showed Kong in a dark room, flicking the head off a blonde doll before laughing maniacally. Kong’s distinctive braids were clearly on show.

Earlier today it was reported that Kong would probably be reporting to FCW after a promo for her aired on FCW television. That doesn’t seem to be the case, after all.

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Raw Response: April 11th, 2011

Get your Monday night Divas fix by tuning in to Raw tonight at 9pm ET on the USA Network. Be sure to tune in to the Post-Raw & Tough Enough Show LIVE at 12.05am ET! Discuss the show in the comments!

Allison Danger Issues Statement on Cindy Rogers’ Retirement

Allison Danger has issued a statement on Cindy Rogers’ retirement.

Danger will face Rogers in her retirement match at WSU’s Uncensored Rumble iPPV on June 25th. The match was requested by Rogers.

When I was first approached about being Cindy Roger’s final wrestling
match ever I was flattered. Honored even. But then I thought to
myself, “Who else would they ask?”. Let’s face it-there would be no
Cindy Rogers without Allison Danger. Join me for a quick walk down
memory lane (don’t worry, nerds, it is not a REAL walk. Lord knows
wrestling fans hate any form of real exercise):

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