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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of May 3rd, 2010

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Divas beware, we judge what you wear! Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury. We compile the looks from the week gone by and mark each look on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the scoring, we work out the combined score for each look and the Diva with the highest combined score is our winner and the Diva with the lowest combined score is our loser.

A few rules: We only judge outfits/ring attire that we haven’t judged before or we have already seen several times on TV before. If a Diva is seen in more than one outfit in any given week, we mark them as ‘#1’, ‘#2’ and so forth.

So, let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Cryssi: This is okay for what it is. It’s really simple and there’s nothing to it. That doesn’t make it a bad look because I personally think Alicia looks amazing in it. She’s the type of girl that doesn’t need flashy clothes and accessories to make herself stand out. She does that all on her own with her beauty and self confidence. 8/10
Erin: Really cute romper. I love the print and the billowy shape is something you don’t often see on Divas (or Knockouts, for that matter). Alicia looks great, and proves that a Diva doesn’t need to wear something skin-tight to look hot. Not all of them could pull off the romper look too, but Alicia looks fabulous, a perfect mixture of cute, stylish, and sexy. 9/10
Melanie: Original and different from the Diva norm, I mean could you imagine anyone else trying to pull off a romper? I love the neckline and how it is a little baggy on Alicia. However, I’m not a huge fan of the pattern — it’s a little too distracting. 6/10
Steven: Something about the pattern of this dress is off-putting to me. Reminds me of cheap wallpaper to be honest. I also don’t like the way it’s kind of billowy on top, like she just slapped a belt on and went on her way. Not a fan at all. 4/10

EVE TORRES
Cryssi: The Divas Champion didn’t score any points with that top she’s wearing but I love those jeans. I wish I had a figure as good as Eve’s so I could wear tight ass jeans. I kinda like the fact she went for a big belt buckle too. It’s different. 6/10
Erin: Tummy-baring tops always look so 90s to me, but the metallic accents and cut of the shoulders on Eve’s top certainly give it a more modern touch. I’m still not loving it, though. If only it were a bit longer.. 6/10
Melanie: I don’t like these super tiny shirts that show off the bra, which I’m guessing is the point when you’re a WWE Diva — to show some skin. However, it looks trashy. I do like the sequins on the top and the shoulders like Erin. 5/10
Steven: Eve looked great this week! I especially loved the top and the shoes. Even her hair was perfect! 9/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Raw Redux (May 3rd, 2010): “Where’s My Title?” BAM!

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Post-WWE Draft Raw shaped up nicely last night as for the first time in several years, we actually got some storyline for the Divas! Following the recent SmackDown route of a backstage promo followed by a match, last night’s edition of Raw managed to pack every single Raw Diva onto the show — hopefully a sign of what is to come. Did last night’s Raw start as it means to go on? Only time will tell but from last night’s episode alone, it looks like SmackDown — and TNA for that matter — could have some competition on its hands.

The night started off with Divas Champion, Eve Torres backstage doing a photoshoot with her belt, with her entrance music playing in the background. You know… as you do. I’m sure Lady Gaga has her songs playing when she does her photoshoots too, Eve! Watch below:

In comes tonight’s Raw Guest Host, Wayne Brady of err… some sort of fame unbeknownst to this Brit writer. Anyway, he is paid to tell tells Eve that she’s his favourite Diva. Just as they begin conversing, they are interrupted by Jillian who gives us another fabulous cover of ‘Fame’ from the movie of the same name… hey, it can’t be any worse than that awful remake last year! I think I’ll take Jillian over that movie, two hours wasted. Brady gets rid of Jillian in a rather funny moment [“Go, go go go… gone!”] before saying his goodbyes to Eve. And for a second there, it seems like the segment is just going to end there — another silly Jillian singing skit. But wait! As Eve returns to her photoshoot, she sees that her title is not where she left it. All of a sudden, in comes Maryse and clocks Eve with the belt before putting it over her own shoulder and posing with it.

As everyone has been mentioning, this really was an epic little segment with the belt shot being executed perfectly by both Eve and Maryse. Eve really sold it well. These days, it’s becoming rare to see physicality like that among the Divas — especially on Raw so this was a great spot that totally caught me off guard. What a creative and fun spot!

Next up is the match between Maryse and Nikki Bella:

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (April 29th, 2010): Jillians Eats Defeat

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Veteran Divas, Gail Kim and Jillian faced off on WWE Superstars this week. It’s almost as if they were given this rare singles match during Draft week to appease the fact that neither of them was moved over to the brand where, you know, they could actually wrestle and develop their characters. Damn shame. Anyhow, check out the bout below:

We start with a lock-up before Gail applies an armbar but is soon slammed down to the mat by her hair. Jillian then goes for a somersault into a leg drop but misses as Gail moves out of the way. Gail now returns the favour, slamming Jillian down to the mat by her hair. She follows through with an arm drag and forearm before irish whipping Jillian into the corner and going for her crossbody dive through the ropes, however Jillian counters by putting up her knees. Jillian goes up top but is met by Gail Kim who fights her way up also and hits a beautiful hurricanrana on Jillian.

Kim begins gaining some momentum and jumps onto Jillian’s shoulders but is planted onto the canvas with an electric chair drop. Jillian goes for a cover but no three count. Jillian begins working over Gail with some kicks and a powerslam before taking time to pose for the crowd — she gets a pretty great crowd reaction for that. Jillian now mounts Gail with some punches, goes for a cover but again, Gail kicks out. Jillian then applies a submission move from behind, digging her knee into Gail’s back but Kim begins fighting back and is soon on her feet — she hits Jillian with a kick and forearm, then goes to pick up Jillian but her back begins bother her allowing Jillian to take control. Jillian plants Gail with a Samoan drop now. Another pin attempt but no win for Jillian.

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Raw Redux (April 12th, 2010): Way Too Quick & Far Too Slow

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So Eve Torres won a Divas Championship shot last week in what was probably the least prestigious win of its kind. That’s not a slight to Eve, though, because the evening gown stipulation dragged the match down like a rusty anchor. Still, it was promising to see an actual championship match made, and we moved on to this week with Eve vs. Maryse in the cards. So, did this match surpass its dress-wrestling origins? Let’s see:

David Hasselhoff introduces the match. Eve makes her way to the ring, and she dances a bit with Hoff. Michael Cole calls this an “interesting” and “unique” way to kick off Raw. I have no idea what that means, because while Divas Championship matches may be rare, they’re not exactly “unique” fare. Maryse is next, and the match starts. Maryse gets things rolling with a vicious slap, prompting a hair-pulling exchange that the referee eventually has to break up. Maryse slips out of the ring and Eve gives chase, meeting a blow from Maryse as soon as she reaches her.

Maryse is showing more aggression than she has in a long, long time. I guess a championship defense will light a fire under anyone’s ass, but it’s nice to see her do more than run away–though she’s still doing that too. She slams Eve’s face onto the apron several times before tossing her back into the ring. Before Maryse can do anything more Eve goes on an offensive streak of her own, whipping Maryse into the corner, charging and getting an elbow to the face. Maryse tries to get in another lick but Eve again turns the tables, hitting a neckbreaker. She positions Maryse on the mat and climbs the turnbuckle, performing a beautiful moonsault.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t meet its mark, as Maryse rolls out of the way. Both Divas lay stagnant on the mat, and I’m pretty sure Eve knocked all the wind out of herself. God, that’s gotta hurt. Maryse laughs at her misfire, slapping her on the back of the head and standing her up for the French Kiss DDT. Even blocks it, though and, with that momentum, rolls Maryse up into an interesting bridge pin. She gets the 3-count and is the new Divas Champion. Eve celebrates while Maryse screams (in agony?).

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of April 5th, 2010

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Divas beware, we judge what you wear! Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury. We compile the looks from the week gone by and mark each look on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the scoring, we work out the combined score for each look and the Diva with the highest combined score is our winner and the Diva with the lowest combined score is our loser. Click each image to see it full-sized.

A few rules: We only judge outfits/ring attire that we haven’t judged before or we have already seen several times on TV before. If a Diva is seen in more than one outfit in any given week, we mark them as ‘#1’, ‘#2’ and so forth.

As Steven is in Berwyn for SHIMMER, joining us this week as a special guest is John Canton from our family site TheJohnReport.net. He says: “Thanks to Melanie for the invite. I’m a closet Style Jury fan. I’m a straight male that loves women, but also has opinions on fashion because I was raised mostly by my two older sisters since our parents worked so much. I was also told by my dad that “the shorter the dress, the better…most of time” and those are words to live by, quite frankly. Style Jury combines two of my favorite pastimes: staring at women and writing. Now I’m doing both at once! I should add that it’s a shame we’re not writing about Mickie or Maryse since they’re my two favorites. Bad luck for me.”

So, let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Cryssi: On a night where the fashion made me die a little inside, Alicia managed to look the best and that’s not saying a whole lot. I wasn’t a huge fan of this dress but at least she managed to match her shoes to it which is a great achievement seeing as how the other divas mostly failed in this area. Small victories. 7/10
Erin: I know I’ve blasted animal print on dresses before (Rosa and Tiffany at the Hall of Fame), but this dress isn’t meant to be formal, as those were. The print suits this dress so much more because of that; it’s short, shiny, and works well on Alicia’s body. The colors are nice too–no tacky blue–and the print is able to dominate the dress without competing with various cutouts and necklines, so it doesn’t look like some busted prom dress. From the print to the color to the cut, this is a perfect look for Alicia. 9/10
John: Incredibly fit woman that can pull anything off, really. I like how short this dress was although that walk she does bothers me. It looks like an older woman with a broken hip or something. I know it’s a “sassy walk with attitude” but you need to get that checked out, girl. 7/10
Melanie: Absolutely gorgeous! This dress fits Alicia perfectly and complements her skin too. She really does look like a million bucks. I really like the detailing on the dress too… yes, it looks like bee stripes but personally, I didn’t see that until it was pointed out on Raw. I saw a fashionable, sexy dress. Perhaps one of my favourite Alicia looks ever. 10/10

THE BELLA TWINS
Cryssi: How shocking. They both wore red. These looks are basically identical except one has some fancy little crystal-esque designs on her dress. Neither of these looks are special and it’s to early in the morning for me to try and tell them apart. 5/10
Erin: The shape of Brie’s dress suits her really well, and I like that she keeps it simple and lets it work on its own. For once, the flower in the hair doesn’t look out of place. It’s a very simple but lovely look, and I can always appreciate when a Diva shows restraint when trying to look sexy. Nikki’s is almost identical to Brie’s look, but with detailing at the top. I loved the simplicity of Brie’s dress, and this dress lacks that. I feel that the Christmas tinsel-like detailing could be lost, and as Brie’s dress proves, it would be better without it. 6/10
John: Doesn’t matter what they wear, they always have that “wholesome” image to me. It’s fine, but they don’t scream sexy to me often enough. Their dresses were just okay. They have nice figures, so they can work anything they want. 7/10
Melanie: I think the Bellas looked prettier than they usually do in these red dresses but frankly, I think there’s far too much material here. I think they should have opted for something more form-fitting that shows off their bodies. This is just like a homecoming dress. 5/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Raw Redux (April 5th, 2010): All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

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Last week’s Raw brought a level of disappointment that made me vow to never again underestimate the WWE’s ability to undervalue the Divas. So, maybe that’s why I’m not as disappointed by Raw as I normally would be. Sure, the match this week was based on a lame and degrading idea, but at this point I’m not expecting anything better.

I’m sure most of you have heard the saying “all dressed up and nowhere to go”, which means, in a fashion, that you’re prepared for something that’s not going to happen. This applies pretty well in this case, as Diva fans, the gluttons for punishment that they are, are continuously hoping for the best. They’re prepared for something interesting, exciting, or at the very least respectable. But if you look at the last few months of booking for the Raw Divas, you would know that it’s not going to happen–at least not anytime soon. Unless they take a hard left turn, it’ll be a while until we’re treated to something that demonstrates that the Raw bookers have an ounce of respect for the Divas. Until then, we’ll be treated to matches like the one that took place tonight. Don’t get me wrong–it wasn’t a trainwreck, but the whole idea of it speaks volumes about the respect (or lack thereof) that the Divas receive. It was close to being a perfectly acceptable match, but one addition, one finishing touch, threw it out of whack. That “touch” was totally unnecessary, and served to pretty much ruin the match for me.

The match in question was a “Dressed to Impress” battle royal, in which the winner would earn a shot at Maryse‘s Divas Championship. That’s a great idea, because we all know that the only thing that could top the awkwardness of a battle royal is a battle royal where the competitors have to wear dresses. Why were they wearing dresses! Why, to fit in with this week’s GM of course! Who is he? I don’t know, but who gives a shit, right? I say bring on the hot mess!

We’re joined at ringside by Maryse, who takes her spot at the commentary table. Surprisingly, each Diva gets her own entrance, which I assume is an effort to show off their fancy dresses. I can’t say I like any of them very much, but I don’t blame them for not pulling out the good duds–you wouldn’t want to risk ruining them when you’re tossed over the top rope. Anywho, we’re joined by Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Rosa Mendes, Jillian, Katie Lea Burchill, Brie and Nikki Bella, and Eve Torres. Maryse trashes all of their looks, but puts special effort into dogging Eve. It’s not secret that she’s going to win this match; she gets the last entrance, a stare down with Maryse, and special emphasis on commentary. If that doesn’t allow you to telegraph Eve’s win from a mile away, you’re just not paying close enough attention.

The match starts and the Divas break off into pairs, all except Rosa, who charges at the Bellas and pretty much jumps out of the ring. It’s a messy exchange, but the Bellas eventually complete what’s left of her journey and heave her over the ropes and out of the ring. Rosa is eliminated. Soon after, Brie and Nikki are eliminated, with Katie Lea and Alicia doing the honors. Brie & Nikki Bella are eliminated.

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A Supersized Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week of March 15th, 2010

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Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great) • Bland (Iffy) • Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Angelina Love‘s Going It Alone
Grade: Sour. Those of us hoping for a more refined look from Angelina upon her TNA return were sadly mistaken when she returned with the same messy style that she had prior. The choker around the neck, the boobs bursting out of the top and the ripped pants look are all clashing and just doesn’t look good at all. The poses offer no variety either with Angelina basically just changing her angles rather than her poses.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Christy Hemme‘s Fire & Water
Grade: Sweet. Not even going to beat around the bush — this may just be the best Knockouts photoshoot in TNA history. These TNA photoshoots are usually just taken against a white background and then overly saturated in Photoshop but this one, this fights all that and makes me want to see more. Christy comes across so seductive, tempting and gorgeous. Her red, fiery hair is coiffed to perfection in some of the shots and then we have the shots where she’s been doused in water — offering some extra edge. I can’t quite put my finger on why I like it, but Christy did a great job.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (March 18th, 2010): Bravo, Bellas

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Last night’s episode of WWE Superstars saw The Bella Twins return to action from yet another hiatus, and I don’t know about you but it looks as though they’ve improved from the last time we saw them. Perhaps their mom, dubbed the ‘Bella Mom’, who is in attendance proved to be a lucky charm? The Bellas took on the veteran team of Jillian and Katie Lea in tag team action. Watch below:

Before the match, we see Katie Lea cutting a rare promo in her cute British accent before being cut off by Jillian who breaks into a rendition of Britney Spears’ ‘3’. She, of course, is interrupted by the Bellas’ entrance and we have ourselves a match.

Bella #1 starts things out with Katie Lea. The two lock up before Katie slams Bella to the canvas and goes for a quick pin but to no avail. Katie hits a scoop slam and goes for an elbow drop but the twin moves out of the way. The twin then applies an armlock on Katie and hits a beautiful arm drag running up the turnbuckles. She then tags out to Bella #2 who hits a sunset flip on Katie.

Katie begins taking control of Bella #2 with a knee to the stomach and throws her into the corner however the twin counters with a jumping snapmare. Katie kicks out of a near fall and takes control again, shoving the Bella into her corner and tagging out to Jillian. Jillian throws the twin against the ropes but she counters with a kick to Jillian’s face and throws her into the corner for a well executed monkey flip, meanwhile tagging back out to Bella #1. The Bellas hit a double clothesline but Jillian kicks out of a pin fall.

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In Pictures: Divas Pajama Party

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Just when you thought it was okay to stop covering your eyes after Monday’s ‘Pajama Pillowfight’ trainwreck, here’s a blistering reminder. Personally, I find the whole gimmick photoshoot, and the segment on Raw itself, creepy. It sexualises things that are associated with young girls and blurs the boundaries of what’s appropriate for supposedly PG viewing. … Read more

Raw Redux (March 1st, 2010): Welcome to Women’s History Month, Folks

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Well, now that we’ve gotten past that pesky Divas Championship Tournament, it’s time to set the division back several years and have a good old fashioned pajama pillow fight. Of course, this is in keeping with this week’s guest GMs, Cheech and Chong, not that their names are synonymous with pajamas or pillow fights. I’m just guessing the Divas sitting in a circle and passing around a bong wouldn’t have been in keeping with their PG rating. But of course, the Divas looking all jailbait-y while bouncing up and down and fighting with pillows is totally PG, right? Shh.. it’s not supposed to make sense.

Speaking of sense, it’s fantastic that the WWE is starting off Women’s History Month with a sufficiently degrading match. Nothing like celebrating the accomplishments and advancement of women like making them boner-fodder for Cheech and Chong. And it’s only March 1st, people! There’s a whole month left! I can only hope a water balloon fight is next.

Watch the “match” below:

Guest GMs Cheech and Chong come to the ring, make a few jokes about how high they are, and introduce the Divas. The babyfaces come first, with Kelly Kelly leading out Gail Kim and Eve Torres. Next, appropriately, they introduce the heels as “the.. other ones!”. The other ones (also known as Maryse [I wouldn’t bring the Divas Title out for this shitfest either, girl], Alicia Fox, and Jillian) make their way to the ring. I kinda of appreciate how serious Alicia looks. With something as silly and degrading as this, it kind of takes the sting out to see the heels show how “over” this they are. Cheech and Chong seat themselves in recliners at ringside.

Maryse takes a long moment to pose for the crowd, and the rest of the Divas gang up on her. Soon this alliance breaks down and Jillian just decides to clothesline everyone. I admire her tenacity–while everyone else looks silly fighting with down feathers, she just decides to mow everyone over. She then pounds every Diva with a pillow and belts out a celebratory high note. Kelly stuffs her pillow in her face to stop the sound and hits a sloppy looking K2–bare feet don’t provide the best traction, after all. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out at 2.

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Raw Redux (Feb. 22nd, 2010) – What Took You So Long?

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The bait and switch pulled at the Elimination Chamber PPV led many of us to believe that the WWE had bigger plans for the Divas Championship tournament finals. Perhaps a lengthier feud to build up such an important match? No, as it turns out, because they finally decided to have the match on a regular old ordinary episode of Raw. Watch the match below and see if it was worth all the wait:

It definitely surprised me when the Divas Championship logo passed over the screen. But I think, more than surprise, I felt relief–finally this tournament is over! Maryse makes her entrance, and Gail Kim follows. It is mentioned how badly Maryse treated Gail in their tag team match the night before, but other than that this doesn’t feel like something that has been built up over numerous weeks. It feels more like the beginning of a feud; one that started at the PPV last night. At any rate, I’m glad to see this match finally happening. Let’s get on with it.

Maryse goes for the attack at the start of the match, but Gail slips past her, catching her in a belly-to-back hold. Maryse strikes Gail to get free, but the next blow is missed, and Gail rolls Maryse into a pin. Maryse quickly kicks out. Maryse reversed an irish whip into the corner and charges at Gail, but Gail slips out through the ropes, allowing Maryse to run full on into the turnbuckle. Gail blocks a few attacks from Maryse and leaps back over the ropes, continuing the momentum into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at 2.

Gail goes on a string of offense, Maryse beginning to look sluggish. It’s only until Gail tries to bash her head against the turnbuckle that Maryse retaliates. She blocks it with her boot and hits Gail’s head against the target instead. She tosses Gail in over the ropes, but Gail quickly reverses momentum into an attempt at the Eat Defeat, but Maryse holds onto the ropes, blocking the move. She kicks Gail across the face and goes for the pin, getting a 2-count.

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Raw Redux (February 8th, 2010) – An Afterthought

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For weeks we’ve been following the Divas Championship tournament, with all its stops and starts. Two weeks ago we finally made the match-up for the finals, but getting to that match has been harder than it seems. Many of us want the WWE to just get it over with, as it’s been obvious from the start that Maryse will be walking away with the title. Thus, it’s been some acute form of torture to see the WWE stretch this thing out as long as possible. This week was no different, and on top of it we got some bad good news: the finals will be taking place in less than two weeks at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Until then, we’ve got two Raws to fill, and you better believe it that the WWE will give it as little build up as possible:

See? We’ve been treated to a random match between Gail Kim and Jillian, which kind of sneaks up on us because no one was given an entrance, and the match wasn’t even announced. Hey, they’ve gotta free up time for all the Shawn Michaels angst and John Cena beatdown replays! Maryse, of course, is on commentary, making this impending finals match-up even more of a laughing stock. You’d think the WWE would get that doing it this way makes it look like Maryse is the champion, scouting her challenger in Gail. I’m sure they notice, but just don’t give a shit.

In the ring, Gail and Jillian start with a tie-up, Jillian taking control and backing Gail up against the ropes. Gail slips through the ropes, falling to the outside. Jillian tosses her back into the ring and goes for a pin, getting a 1-count. She whips Gail into the corner and gets an elbow to the face when she goes for an attack. Gail climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, but Jillian sweeps her feet and knocks her all the way to the mat. Another pin, another 1-count.

Meanwhile, on commentary, Maryse talks about how much more sophisticated Raw Divas are in contrast to what’s been going on on SmackDown with Mickie James. Complain about the fat jokes all you want, Maryse, but at least they’re given more than 3 minutes of screen time. Maybe the Raw Divas should start having food fights.. Jillian pounds Gail’s head onto the mat and hoists her up, but Gail slips free, hitting the Eat Defeat. She pins Jillian for the win.

The match, which was literally ONE MINUTE long, was as good as any match could be with such a ridiculous time limit. I give boatloads of credit to Jillian and Gail for making such a joke of a match interesting and fun with what little they were given. Funny, though, that the post-match promo was longer than the match itself. Maryse, get priority? Never!!

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending February 6th, 2010

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Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great) • Bland (Iffy) • Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Brie & Nikki Bella‘s Bella Bowl II
Grade: Bland. This is the second in a series where the Bellas dress up in support of the two teams competing in the Super Bowl. This may be only the second time they’ve done this, but it’s probably the 75th time they’ve done the “sexy sports” thing, so it’s nothing that hasn’t been done over and over. What’s interesting is the cute “trash talking” poses–that’s what these shoots should be like. I’m not digging the football pants and heels combo, nor is the beer hat look very cute. Still, it’s nice to see Brie and Nikki play off each other like they do in a few shots. I’d much prefer a shoot full of that than trying to look sexy while doing the Heisman pose–save that type of originality for every chick competing in the Lingerie Bowl. Gotta say, though, that I’m on Nikki’s side on this one. Geaux Saints!
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Jillian‘s Ripped to Threads
Grade: Sweet. Jillian’s style, despite her colorful and over-the-top personality, has always been on the simple side. There’s nothing wrong with that, though at times I’ve found her ring gear choices to be a bit uninspired. This is the first one I’ve really liked–the blue is really pretty, and the stitched portions are a nice interesting touch that don’t look tacky as they could if done in a less subtle way. Her makeup and hair are gorgeous in an understated way. Similarly, Jillian’s poses in this soot are rather simple, but she looks more natural here than she has in a long time. With such relaxed poses, this shoot almost seems the polar opposite of what we think of when we see Jillian, but I like that. Sure, the poses could stand to be a bit more exciting, but I’ll take anything that’s not a “duck lips” pose. It’s this type of natural feel that I like to see from Divas–funny that it’s coming from one of the most outlandish Divas, in terms of personality.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 28th, 2010): Predictable Fun

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This week we’re continuing the trend of the Raw Divas wrestling on WWE Superstars, this time with some lesser-used Divas. Brie and Nikki Bella are teaming up to face the un-crowned JOB Squad of the WWE, Jillian and Katie Lea. Watch the match below:

The Bellas make their entrance, and Jillian and Katie Lea enter together to Jillian’s music (how weird is it to see Katie Lea walk out to Jillian warbling? it definitely doesn’t fit, to say the least). Brie and Katie Lea start things off, Katie latching her into a reverse bear hug maneuver. Brie gets free, turning it into a hip toss. She keeps a hold on Katie’s arm, wrenching it and dragging her to her corner, tagging in Nikki. They both grab Katie’s legs and flip forward in a move that isn’t so much effective as it is flashy (but that’s par for the course with the newer Divas these days, I guess). Nikki goes for the pin and gets 2.

Katie gains control and forces Nikki into the corner, tagging in Jillian. She gives Nikki a kick before tossing her across the ring by her hair. She takes Nikki’s arm and twists it back in a bit of an unorthodox half nelson. She woman-handles Nikki a bit before whipping her into the corner, going for an attack but getting an elbow to the face instead. She gives Jillian a kick before climbing the turnbuckle and hitting a flying body press. She goes for the pin, and gets a 2-count, quickly pulling Jillian up and tagging in Brie.

Nikki tosses Jillian off the ropes and hits an arm drag, then hitting another arm drag on Brie, landing her on top of Jillian. Brie attempts a pin, but no luck. Brie hits her leaping snapmare, then goes for a monkey flip but is distracted by Katie Lea, allowing Jillian to shove her to the mat. Jillian plants a few boots on her and chokes her on the ropes, relenting to the referee’s scolding and stepping back.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 21st, 2010): A Slight Twist

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Last week’s Superstars Mixed Tag match didn’t exactly set the world on fire, and I expressed hope that the WWE would use this program to showcase a weekly Divas match, preferably one-on-one. Well, this week brings hope that they might actually be heading in that direction, as we’ve got Kelly Kelly taking on Jillian in a singles match. It’s certainly a different Diva combination from we’ve seen lately, so I’m interested in seeing how they’ll work together–will it be good, bad, horrific? Check out the match below and find out for yourself:

Jillian makes her way to the ring, and proceeds to tell the audience about how she had felt nervous about tonight until she heard a Miley Cyrus song on the radio, that song being “Party in the USA”, which I believe is the only song in the history of music whose Kidz Bop cover sounds better (not that I’ve listened to either voluntarily.. *cough*). Jillian butchers the song, and the crowd boos her within an inch of her life. It’s weird, but I think Miley got the biggest heat the WWE’s seen in a while. Maybe they can channel that into a shitty impersonation by Santino.

Kelly interrupts the singing, getting a rather large pop. She enters the ring, and the match begins with a tie-up, Jillian immediately nailing Kelly with a knee to her stomach. She wrenches Kelly’s arm, prompting her to head to the corner and climb the turnbuckle, hitting a sitdown flip off the top rope and sending Jillian flying with the resulting armdrag. Kelly keeps the momentum going, hitting a frankensteiner and hooking Jillian’s leg for a 2-count.

She pounds Jillian’s head a bit, then attempting a kick that Jillian blocks, catching her leg. Kelly does a backwards flip to escape, but once back on her feet Jillian takes her down with a clothesline. Talk about a spinning head.. Jillian attempts a pin, getting 2. She picks Kelly up by the hair, shaking her head violently. She continues with the hair-driven attacks, tossing Kelly across the ring by her blonde locks. With the popularity of weaves amongst the Divas you’d think those types of moves would be outlawed, a la the shooting star press from a while back. Hey, it is dangerous–exposing fake hair counts as breaking kayfabe!!

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 14th, 2010): Half of a Rematch

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In what you could consider a partial rematch of last week’s Superstars match, Gail Kim is again taking on Jillian, this time in a Mixed Tag Team match–Gail pairing with Primo and Jillian with Chavo Guerrero. Watch the match below:

Primo and Chavo start out the match. Primo dominates Chavo until some dirty tricks put Guerrero in control. Jillian even gets a few boots on Primo while the referee’s back is turned. Primo eventually regains control, prompting Chavo to go running to his momma Jillian, grabbing a hold of her midsection. As unorthodox as it is, this counts as a tag, and Jillian enters the ring. Before Primo tags her in (and he really doesn’t need to, I guess), Jillian charges, and he dodges, and she eats Gail’s fist.

Gail blasts into the ring, going on a roll of offense, irish-whipping Jillian into the corner, hitting a flying clothesline. She backs up and goes for a two-fer, but Jillian moves, and she ends up between the ropes and wrapped around the turnbuckle. Gail gathers herself, though, and ducks a blow by Jillian, hitting one of her own and climbing the turnbuckle. Chavo distracts her, however, and Jillian causes her to lose her footing. Gail crotches herself on the top rope, and Jillian tosses her from there to the mat. She goes for the pin, earning a 2-count.

Frustrated, Jillian goes a bit unhinged, grabbing Gail by the head and slamming the back of hit repeatedly against her knee. The hold quickly is reduced into a blatant hair pull. She eventually lets go and goes for the pin again, still getting only 2. She picks Gail up and tosses her by the hair like she’s a ragdoll, which probably isn’t far off from her actual weight–no insult intended, she’s just so tiny! Jillian then just stands on Gail’s face–hey, if it gets the job done, why not? The referee scolds her, and she relents. I like how Jillian is showing a blatant disregard for the rules. There’s not even a hint of integrity to her wrestling, and I like that kind of honesty in a heel.

Jillian slams Gail into the corner and drives a few well-placed knees into her midsection. She brings Gail to the ropes, whipping her to the other side, but Gail hangs on, attempting a kick when Jillian advances on her. Jillian catches her foot, however, and drags her hopping to the center of the ring, taking her down with a clothesline. She taunts the crowd before going for her cartwheel splash, which Gail blocks with her knees. Both Divas try to regroup, crawling to their respective corners and tagging in their teammates.

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Playing the Odds: The Divas Championship Tournament

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Feeling lucky? In this new feature we’ve dubbed Playing the Odds, we will weigh the odds of certain Diva or Knockout events occurring, be it a championship win or heel turn.

We classify each like so: if the event’s occurrence is highly unlikely, it gets the Long Shot stamp; if it’s within the realm of possibility, it’s a Safe Bet; if it is extremely likely, it is a Sure Thing. Now, this does not mean everything we brand a Sure Thing is destined to happen–it just lines up with what we feel to be feasible from precedent or a person’s current position. Also, this is from our point of view, so don’t take this as fact or anything of the sort.

In this first edition, we will take a look at the ongoing Divas Championship Tournament, seeing which Raw Divas have the best shot at coming out on top. We may not be in Vegas, but we’re placing our bets anyways–take a look at ours and make a few of your own in the comments.

Alicia Fox
Odds: Safe Bet. Even though the WWE has been noticeably fickle about giving Alicia big pushes (they’re more of a “now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t” type thing), she is certainly a rising star in the company. They have felt comfortable giving her title shots before (twice, actually), and though her pushes were always short lived, they showed that she’s not destined to be merely a background player. Comparatively, a Diva such as Layla, who is still pretty much a background player, has never seen the kinds of pushes Alicia has been given. This makes us believe that Alicia might have better luck than her “replacement” (remember, Alicia was Michelle’s tag along first). This year could hold Alicia’s big breakout, and winning this tournament or even giving a good showing in it could effectively kick-start that. Though, as promising as her future looks, the WWE’s fickleness when it comes to her makes us hesitate to give her our full confidence in this tournament. It’s certainly possible that she could go all the way, but we’re not going to be betting the farm on it either.

Brie Bella
Odds: Long Shot. Yes, she’s already out of the tournament, which makes this sort of irrelevant, but when looking at it from an objective standpoint, pretending that the match had not taken place yet, it’s quite the long shot to picture Brie getting pushed all the way to the title. It’s not that we lack the faith in Brie having success on her own, but with the way the WWE books Brie and her sister–that is, extremely inconsistently–it’s tough to imagine the WWE giving either of them a title run. They seem to only use them in the ring when they need extra bodies. Otherwise, it’s escort duty fro the GM of the week. Bottom line, there’s just been no real investment made in the Bellas by the WWE. Until the WWE starts taking them seriously as competitors, they pose no real threat.

Read more to see how the other Raw Divas’ odds stack up.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 7th, 2010): Getting Out of the Gate

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This past Monday saw the start of an 8-Diva tournament for the Divas Championship, with Maryse advancing into the second round. The tourny continued tonight on WWE Superstars, pitting Gail Kim against Jillian. Who will get one step closer to holding that butterly belt? Watch and see:

Jillian comes down to the ring, headset on. She says how excited she is about this tournament and that she has a good feeling about her chances to go all the way. This reminds her of that Black Eyed Peas song that’s overplayed on the radio to the point that it has surpassed the category of music and and has transformed into an acute form of torture–that song being “I’ve Got a Feeling”. She, of course, butchers it, and Gail’s entrance music eventually puts a stop to it. Kim makes her way to the ring and the match is on.

They start with a tie-up, Gail taking advantage and wrenching Jillian’s arm. Jillian escapes this by rolling forward and sweeping Gail’s legs. She goes for a pin, but Kim doesn’t even let the referee get a 1-count down. Jillian picks her up and holds her in a side headlock. Gail forces Jillian back into the ropes and shoves herself free, making her run the ropes.

On the return, Jillian shoulder-blocks Gail, but Gail grabs her feet before she can go anywhere, making her fall flat on her face. Gail bridges into a pin, but barely gets 2. Kim delivers a few blows to her face and goes for an irish whip that Jillian reverses. Gail ends up in the corner, but skirts through the ropes when Jillian charges toward her. Jillian blocks a punch and lands one of her own, then going for a shoulder blow to Gail’s midsection, but Kim hoists herself up, landing in a seated position on Jillian’s back. She heads to the top rope, hitting a lateral press on Jillian and going for the pin, getting a 2-count.

Jillian gets to her feet, only to be taken down again with a frankensteiner. She tries to regroup in the corner, dodging an attack by Gail and sending her flying through the ropes. Gail manages to hang on, though, and Jillian grabs her by the hair, knocking her head against the steel post and allowing her to fall to the outside.

Jillian spears Gail against the ring apron and tosses her into the ring, attempting an unorthodox pin that Kim kicks out of. She picks Gail up and slams her back down with a sidewalk slam, going for another pin that results in another kick-out. An irish whip into the corner sends Gail into the turnbuckle and down to the mat, as she’s unable to stay on her feet.

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Raw Redux (December 21st, 2009) – It’s the Most Pointless Time of the Year

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As we all have become accustomed, this is the time of the year where folks sing carols, wrap presents, and the Divas amount to nothing more than skimpy red costumes. So we saw this coming, and it shouldn’t be surprise that this week’s Raw was absolutely pointless. In what has become an annual thing, Melina, … Read more

Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of December 14th, 2009

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Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead, we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Erin: Is this a top and a skirt or a dress? Either way, I’m not too keen on it. The pattern could be cute on another clothing item, but here it looks a bit too “Malibu Barbie” for me. 4/10
Melanie: It’s er, unique? I know Alicia has her own quirky style and all, that’s cool but I just can’t… 3/10

THE BELLA TWINS
Erin: It’s not the smartest thing in the world to wear such short, tight dresses for an Evening Gown match, but the dresses themselves aren’t bad at all. I prefer the one with less lace, though. 7/10
Melanie: I like these outfits. I don’t think we can ever expect anything mind-blowing from the Bellas, but this is a step in the right direction. 6/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of December 7th, 2009

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ddstylejury

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

JILLIAN
Erin: Jillian’s ring outfits are usually pretty dull, but this one is a bit interesting with that color and pattern. It’s still not much, though. 6/10
Melanie: I actually really like this. It’s cute without being boring as with her past outfits. 6/10
Steven: I like the color on her, but would love to see her do something more with her wardrobe. The black pants/colored top combo is getting kinda old. 6/10

KELLY KELLY
Erin: Too “Flashdance” for my taste. I don’t know.. The naked shoulder just looks a little try-hard. It’s not awful, though. 6/10
Melanie: Don’t like it. The top just isn’t flattering on her and I’d prefer pants. 3/10
Steven: Like we said on the Post-Raw Show, Kelly’s outfit this week was… strange. Looks like she grabbed the nearest black bedsheet and fashioned it into an outfit. 4/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Raw Redux (December 7th, 2009) – A (Relative) Smörgåsbord of Divas

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With Maryse two weeks into her return, fans have been less than impressed with her all-around performance. Her return was more head-scratching than anything else and her match last week didn’t show her in-ring skills as much as a more refined affinity to sneak out a win. Will she continue on that path this week, or will we see a more ring-focused Maryse?

We start our night seeing that Kelly Kelly has been handed the duty of announcing the night’s first Divas match. I’m not all the surprised that they saddled Kelly with this random job, since the WWE has a tendency to stick Divas in announcing positions when they don’t know what else to do with them. We’ll see if this becomes a regular thing or was just a plot device to bring in Melina post-match.

The match in question is Gail Kim vs. Maryse. I’m psyched to see Gail get some one-on-one action, as she’s usually stuck in tag team matches (aside from the odd Superstars match). Let’s see if she can pull some good things out what’s so far been a lackluster return angle for Maryse:

The match starts off with a requisite show of arrogance by Maryse–she actually shoves Gail by the head twice. Gail seems to keep her annoyance in check until she spears Maryse to the mat, pounding on her until she’s shoved off. Maryse darts to safety at the other side of the ring, but Gail keeps on her, tossing her by the hair and whipping her into the ropes. Maryse hangs on to the ropes, but Gail drags her back to the middle of the ring by a leg, making Maryse hop along. Gail tosses Maryse’s leg aside, spinning her, and then slamming her down with a hard clothesline.

Maryse crawls to the corner, and once she’s to her feet, Gail charges at her, slipping out of the ring and back in under the ropes, out-smarting Maryse and rolling her up into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at two and wanders to the next corner, only to be sandwiched into it by a flying Gail. Maryse drops to her butt, and Gail proceeds to drive her knee into her neck, using her standing leverage to apply the pressure. Gail eventually backs off and Maryse gets to her feet, simply slapping Gail in the face in rebuttal.

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Raw Redux (November 30th, 2009) – The Greeks Take Troy (Again)

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Following Maryse‘s turkey-costumed return, fans came to a general consensus that it was pretty disappointing. But with this week came the opportunity to add some legitimacy to this blossoming feud. Would Maryse deliver, or would she–like the turkey she disguised herself as–not even get off the ground?

We begin the night with an entrance by Melina and Gail Kim. The feed cuts to Maryse and Jillian walking backstage, only to be stopped by Josh Matthews, asking Maryse what provoked her to attack Melina last week:

She explained her motives as this: Melina was holding her Divas title (not that Mickie held the title long before Melina and actually won it from Maryse in the first place) and provided a Trojan Horse, which for Melina turned out to be the turkey. I don’t want to go all history nerd and explain the many ways in which that makes no sense, but really.. I know the common usage of the Trojan Horse metaphor is with a “any trick that causes a target to invite a foe into a securely protected bastion or place”, in reference to the tale of the Greeks hiding inside of a giant horse that they left outside the gates of Troy, which when brought inside the gates (as a victory trophy) allowed them to overtake the city at night and win what has been a 10-year siege. But is the WWE ring really considered a securely protected place? Maybe the fact that Melina let the Gobbledy Gooker stand behind her qualifies as that, but that’s stretching it quite a bit. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t accepting the Trojan Horse (and ignoring the warnings of others) a sign of vanity? They believed that the Greeks were surrendering and accepted their “victory trophy” without suspicion, and were ambushed and slaughtered for doing so. I doubt Maryse was preyinf on Melina’s vanity with her scheme.

Either way you look at it, Maryse’s metaphor oversold the thing to a ridiculous level. It actually managed to make it look even more stupid, as she (AKA the WWE’s writers) tried to sell it as some mastermind’s trick. However, when the trick involves one party dressing up in a Gobbledy Gooker suit, I think trying to make it look like any sort of “master plan” is more foolish than the idea itself.

But enough of that. Maryse says “gobble gobble” to Josh (which I guess serves as a goodbye), which Jillian sings in repetition, and the two head to the ring. Melina and Gail’s reaction to this says it all, mouthing “wow” to each other a few times. As Maryse and Jillian make their entrance, Michael Cole recaps how Maryse lost the Divas Championship at Night of Champions and–rumor has it–when into a state of depression following her loss. What a crappy excuse.. I mean, is it really that hard to just say she got injured–which she actually did? All that does is perpetuate the stereotype of the “fragile woman”. Though, Maryse’s character is approximately 99% vanity, so such a blow to her ago could probably crush her in such a way. But still, around 5 months on the shelf due to depression? That’s treating pretty lightly what in real life is a big deal–a serious mental illness. But I guess, as we’ve seen several times already this night, analyzing the WWE’s motives is a lost cause.

I really need to stop sidetracking this thing. Let’s get on to the match.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of November 23rd, 2009

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ddstylejury

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

BETH PHOENIX
Erin: The phoenix on the tights kind of looks like a slapped-on decal. The whole thing is rather dull–I really prefer Beth’s more colorful outfits. 5/10
Melanie: I’m not a huge fan of her brightly coloured Glamasuits [the red, blue and green ones] but I much prefer them to this. They have more spark and personality. 4/10
Steven: Nice to see The Glamazon getting back to some normal ring gear. Those shiny numbers were kicking my ass. Nothing different from the norm here, but Beth looks great nonetheless. 7/10

EVE TORRES
Erin: The silver and black aren’t anything special, but I still like the shorts Eve wrestles in. Maybe if there were more color in it, it’d look more interesting. 6/10
Melanie: I really dislike Eve’s ring gear; the shorts could be cute but the tops are just awful. 5/10
Steven: Same gear, different color. This silver one is a tad bland though. I definitely prefer her other metallic corsets over this one. 6/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Raw Redux (November 23rd, 2009) – A Turkey of a Return

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Back in the 1920s, showbiz had a slang term for a failure or flop: they’d call it a turkey*. Fitting, given the failures we witnessed tonight on this Thanksgiving episode of Raw where a certain Diva went so far as to dress in a turkey costume for her big return. So, was it cleverly self-referential or just a bad idea? I think we know the answer to that, but just in case let’s watch the situation unfold and decide for ourselves:

Predictably, the Divas have dressed up for a “Mayflower Melee”, AKA Thanksgiving-themed 6-Diva tag match. The faces–Mickie James, Melina, and Kelly Kelly–are decked out in (*cough* super un-P.C. *cough*) Native American garb, while the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, and Jillian–are Pilgrims. All look pretty ridiculous, even Kelly, who apparently decided to put on a tan dress and some Nikes and call it a day. But hey, at least she doesn’t look like she’s doing a Kindergarten Thanksgiving play like Michelle & co. I must say, I love how pissed they looked to be dressed in those Pilgrim costumes. At least they’re acknowledging how lame the idea is, unlike so many times in the past.

Before the match starts they are joined by the guest time keeper, the Gobbledy Gooker! …You know, the giant turkey that hatched on live television in what was known as one of the biggest “WTF” moments in WWE history? I guess since they had two Thanksgiving cliches represented, they decided to go for the trifecta. Gooker stands in the corner and awkwardly rings the bell, signaling the start of the match.

Melina and Jillian start out the match, probably praying that they can scrub off some of the bad mojo they’ve had with each other as of late. They start with a tie-up, Melina getting the upper hand by wrenching Jillian’s arm. Jillian gains control, slamming Melina to the mat. Melina reverses an irish-whip into the corner, sending Jillian into the turnbuckle and proceeding to send a shoulder into her stomach. She lays Jillian across the second ropes, prepping her a double-knee attack. Before she can do it, however, Jillian yanks her by her dress, pulling her to the mat. She tosses Melina by the hair and taunts the crowd a bit.

Jillian whips Melina into the ropes but Melina hangs on. Before she can do anything, though, Jillian meets her with an elbow to the face. She whips Melina into the turnbuckle, prepping for her handspring elbow attack. Before she can do any damage, Melina catches her with her legs, choking her and chopping her on the head. Once back on their feet Melina takes down Jillian with a (almost malfunctioned) facebuster. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out.

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