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Raw Redux (April 5th, 2010): All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

Last week’s Raw brought a level of disappointment that made me vow to never again underestimate the WWE’s ability to undervalue the Divas. So, maybe that’s why I’m not as disappointed by Raw as I normally would be. Sure, the match this week was based on a lame and degrading idea, but at this point I’m not expecting anything better.

I’m sure most of you have heard the saying “all dressed up and nowhere to go”, which means, in a fashion, that you’re prepared for something that’s not going to happen. This applies pretty well in this case, as Diva fans, the gluttons for punishment that they are, are continuously hoping for the best. They’re prepared for something interesting, exciting, or at the very least respectable. But if you look at the last few months of booking for the Raw Divas, you would know that it’s not going to happen–at least not anytime soon. Unless they take a hard left turn, it’ll be a while until we’re treated to something that demonstrates that the Raw bookers have an ounce of respect for the Divas. Until then, we’ll be treated to matches like the one that took place tonight. Don’t get me wrong–it wasn’t a trainwreck, but the whole idea of it speaks volumes about the respect (or lack thereof) that the Divas receive. It was close to being a perfectly acceptable match, but one addition, one finishing touch, threw it out of whack. That “touch” was totally unnecessary, and served to pretty much ruin the match for me.

The match in question was a “Dressed to Impress” battle royal, in which the winner would earn a shot at Maryse‘s Divas Championship. That’s a great idea, because we all know that the only thing that could top the awkwardness of a battle royal is a battle royal where the competitors have to wear dresses. Why were they wearing dresses! Why, to fit in with this week’s GM of course! Who is he? I don’t know, but who gives a shit, right? I say bring on the hot mess!

We’re joined at ringside by Maryse, who takes her spot at the commentary table. Surprisingly, each Diva gets her own entrance, which I assume is an effort to show off their fancy dresses. I can’t say I like any of them very much, but I don’t blame them for not pulling out the good duds–you wouldn’t want to risk ruining them when you’re tossed over the top rope. Anywho, we’re joined by Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Rosa Mendes, Jillian, Katie Lea Burchill, Brie and Nikki Bella, and Eve Torres. Maryse trashes all of their looks, but puts special effort into dogging Eve. It’s not secret that she’s going to win this match; she gets the last entrance, a stare down with Maryse, and special emphasis on commentary. If that doesn’t allow you to telegraph Eve’s win from a mile away, you’re just not paying close enough attention.

The match starts and the Divas break off into pairs, all except Rosa, who charges at the Bellas and pretty much jumps out of the ring. It’s a messy exchange, but the Bellas eventually complete what’s left of her journey and heave her over the ropes and out of the ring. Rosa is eliminated. Soon after, Brie and Nikki are eliminated, with Katie Lea and Alicia doing the honors. Brie & Nikki Bella are eliminated.

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Raw Response: April 5th, 2010

NXT rookie David Otunga is hosting Raw, an honor he earned by winning a battle royal last week. Will he bring along celebrity finance Jennifer Hudson? Find out by watching the show at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (March 29th, 2010): I Shall Never Underestimate the WWE Again


My thoughts exactly, Mickie.

Now, that title may sound like I actually enjoyed the action from last night’s Raw, but anyone who watched the show would know that that just isn’t possible, unless you enjoy watching acute forms of torture. What I mean by the title is that, like last week, we always claim that the WWE’s treatment of the Raw Divas cannot possibly get any worse. I mean, we go from a 1-minute match to a 50-second match and many of us jokingly suggested that the WWE can do better than that–they can get the matches EVEN shorter! Needless to say, they met that challenge head on and delivered a match that somehow, by the grace of Zeus (who, by the way, I picture looking like Liam Neeson dressed in shimmering armor) was even shorter, more pointless, and an even greater waste of talent and time. Like I said, I’ll never underestimate the WWE again!

Now, getting into the specifics, we started the show with what was obviously an omen for how things were going to go. We are told that tonight, in keeping with the theme of the show, which was hosted by Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from “Hot Tub Time Machine”, we would be treated punished with a hot tub “match”. As it turns out, it was more of a hot tub contest, with the winner being the one who stayed in the hot tub the longest. Tiffany, Rosa Mendes, Brie Bella, and Nikki Bella are sporting bikinis and seated in a rather unhygienic looking hot tub with the night’s hosts.

Now, I know as well as you that the punchline is coming from a mile away–unattractive person enters the hot tub and chases the men away. But still, someone suggests that the winner get a shot at the Divas Championship. Great, because that’s just what we need! It’s been about a year since a man won a Divas-only distinction. We’re due, yes? Obviously, that was not meant to be taken seriously because, as you see, we’d then have Mark Henry challenging Maryse, and I don’t think anyone’s holding their breath in anticipation for that. Oh sorry, did I spoil the ending for you? Sorry. Watch the “contest” below and try to enjoy it regardless:

PART 1

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Raw Response: March 29th, 2010

Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from this past week’s movie release “Hot Tub Time Machine” host Raw tonight. Check in for all the WrestleMania fallout by watching the show at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (March 22nd, 2010): A Waste of 50 Seconds & 10 Women

This week’s Raw brought up a lot of questions, none of which relate to anticipation towards WrestleMania or the future of the Divas division. The questions were more akin to “Why did I watch all of Raw for a 50 second match?” and “What’s on HBO? (Answer: Spider-Man)“. Needless to say, tonight’s events were a bit of a mind boggling clusterfuck, and not just because there were approximately 34 Divas at ringside for the match of varying brand loyalty. After last week’s 1-minute long match, I jokingly suggested on Twitter that this week’s match try and beat that “record”. Sadly, I believe they did, and in quite an embarrassing fashion, too. Behold:


skip to 4:50

We begin in a promising, though confusing fashion, with Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, and Eve Torres in the ring with Mickie James (welcome back!) and Kelly Kelly at ringside. It’s pretty interesting to see Beth alongside the “good girls”, not to mention in the mix of Raw at all. Then come Maryse, Michelle McCool, and Layla, flanked by Vickie Guerrero and Alicia Fox. It’s a bit confusing, this brand crossover, especially since they haven’t even explained why it’s happening yet. This specific scenario seems like way too many “cooks in the kitchen”, in a manner of speaking, but if they were putting so many Divas at ringside at once, something interesting has to happen, right? Or so you’d think..

Gail and Michelle start off the match for their teams, Michelle kicking things off with a kick (*rimshot*), wrenching Gail’s arm. Gail twists is back and nails Michelle with the back of her elbow. She leaps up and hits a frankensteiner, nailing Michelle in the corner, trading blows with her through the ropes. She leaps over the ropes and nails Michelle with a clothesline, going for the pin and getting a 2-count. Gail preps for the Eat Defeat but Layla distracts her, allowing Michelle to go for a leg sweep. Gail counters it into a pin, but Michelle flips the pin into one of her own, but instead holding Gail and switching into a standing position, nailing the Faith Breaker in a clever reversal. She gets the pin and the win for her team.

And just like that, it’s over. Lasting a whopping 50 seconds (Beating last week’s speed record by 10 seconds; what is this, a luge race?), this is apparently what we get when we have 10 women at ringside in a cross-brand exchange on the very last Raw before WrestleMania. Was it a victim of poor time management by the WWE or just a resounding lack of effort by the bookers? It really felt like a segment with ambitions of taking up 10 minutes that was snipped down to a 1 measly minute. Either way, it’s embarrassing and makes you wonder why they even tried. It’s embarrassing and awkward for all the Divas to mosey on out to the ring, only to be worthy of a minute of screen time. I mean, what was the point of putting them all out there, besides getting some meager face time? And, by the way, why haven’t they even EXPLAINED what the SmackDown girls are fucking doing on Raw in the first place??

What message does that send when the promos building up to the John Cena/Batista “face off” lasted longer than this whole segment? Clearly, like we’ve been saying for what seems like forever, the Divas are on a whole different level of priority to the WWE’s writers. That is to say, Cena and Dave are on the top floor, and the Divas are somewhere underneath the floorboards.

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Raw Redux (March 15th, 2010): Blurring the Lines

After last week’s Raw, all signs seemed to be pointing towards Eve Torres being the front runner for a title feud with Maryse, but a few inter-brand cameos may have just turned us in another direction. Is this a good direction or a bad one? Let’s watch this week’s action and judge for ourselves:

Kelly Kelly makes her way to the ring, followed by Maryse. Common sense indicates that this will be a squash match, but with how Maryse has been wrestling lately (that is, barely wrestling) it seems tough for them to pull off a real squash.

Before the match can begin, Maryse takes a moment to do her trademark pose, and Kelly climbs the turnbuckle to do one of her own. I have to say that it looked a little silly, but that’s only because Kelly’s never been the “sexpot” type, and even in her Extreme Expose days the girl seemed to lack that kind of overt sexiness. Anywho, Maryse attacks her while she has her back turned, and the match begins.

Kelly takes control rather quickly, going on an offensive streak that eventually degenerates into a catfight. The referee breaks it up and Kelly goes for a kick that Maryse blocks, flipping her backwards and back onto her feet. Kelly hits Maryse with a knee-level dropkick and then goes back to pounding Maryse’s head to the mat. This type of intensity from Kelly makes it seem like these two have had something building, even though they’ve only wrestled together a handful of times. I guess it’s just an easy way to fill up offense before Maryse eventually sneaks out the win, and that’s all there is to it.

Kelly hoists a leg onto the back of Maryse’s neck, hitting a bit of a modified version of the K2. She goes for the pin, and Maryse kicks out at 2. Both Divas get to their feet slowly, but before Kelly can grab a hold of Maryse, she gets pulled face-first into the turnbuckle. Maryse pulls Kelly up, hits the the French Kiss, and it’s all said and done. She pins Kelly for the win.

Maryse decides to beat down on Kelly a bit, but Gail Kim and Eve bust in and give Maryse a beating of her own. Gail hits a neckbreaker on Maryse and she and Eve tend to Kelly. Then, out of nowhere, Michelle McCool and Layla come running in, dressed like two Daisy Duke impersonators, and lay out Gail and Eve. They level everyone in sight and pose a bit for the crowd, heading up the ramp to meet with Vickie Guerrero, the woman who seems to have full control over Diva happenings, whether they take place on SmackDown, Raw, or Mars. Maryse joins them, looking to form a shaky alliance with Laycool and Guerrero.

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Raw Response: March 15th, 2010

WWE legend Stone Cold Steve Austin host Raw tonight. Tune in for what’s sure to be a “stunning” night *rimshot*. As always, watch the show at 9/8 CST on the USA Network. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (March 8th, 2010): All About Eve

After last week’s moving tribute to womankind, I was bracing myself for the worst with this week’s show. Surprisingly, the WWE decided to put on a straight wrestling match rather than mold the Divas action to guest GM Criss Angel’s gimmick, and for that I’m grateful. But was the match anything to write home about? Let’s see:

Eve Torres, Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly make their way to the ring for a 6-Diva Tag Team match. I guess it’s been a while since we’ve seen one of those, though I haven’t really missed them.. Already in the ring are Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Katie Lea. Scrimping for time, I guess, but that’s nothing new..

Alicia and Gail start things off, Alicia latching Gail into a belly-to-back hold. Gail gets free and locks Alicia into a side headlock. Alicia tries to lift Gail up and gain the advantage, but Gail whips her to the mat, still holding onto the headlock. Alicia frees herself with a few jabs and whips Gail into the corner, charging. Gail slips through the ropes and the two trade blows before Gail leaps out of the way of a shoulder attack, landing in a straddling position on the back on Alicia’s neck. She tosses Alicia back into the ring, but Alicia regains control and whips again her into the same corner. Again, Gail blocks an attack and climbs the turnbuckle. However, instead of attacking Alicia she hits a charging Katie Lea with a flying clothesline, knocking her off the ring apron.

Gail turns her attention back to Alicia and gets a face full of boot. Alicia goes for the pin, getting a 2-count. She takes Gail to her corner and Maryse, for a moment, motions for Alicia to pound Gail’s head into her boot, but she decides against it, for whatever reason, opting instead to be tagged in. Maryse his a back breaker on Gail and goes for a pin, but Gail kicks out. She slaps Gail on the head, looking more like she’s messing up her hair rather than actually striking her. She then knocks Kelly off of the apron. Maryse gets in Gail’s face and gets slapped, getting a taste of her own medicine. Gail springs to life and tags in Eve.

Eve goes on a string of offense, getting a 2-count on Maryse. A poke in the eyes gives Maryse temporary control, until Eve nails Maryse with a kick off the ropes. She hits her somersault splash and goes for the pin, but Alicia and Katie Lea break it up. Actually, they were slowpokes and Maryse had to kick out before the referee counted 3. Get the lead out, ladies! The two of them grab Eve and slam her onto the turnbuckle. The referee, meanwhile, does nothing to stop this. A blatant 3-on-1 and all you’re gonna do is act surprised? Okay..

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Raw Response: March 8th, 2010

Tonight’s episode of Raw is hosted by the mind freak himself, Criss Angel. Will he convince us last week’s Pajama Pillowfight was just an illusion? Tune in at 9/8ct on USA Network to find out. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (March 1st, 2010): Welcome to Women’s History Month, Folks

Well, now that we’ve gotten past that pesky Divas Championship Tournament, it’s time to set the division back several years and have a good old fashioned pajama pillow fight. Of course, this is in keeping with this week’s guest GMs, Cheech and Chong, not that their names are synonymous with pajamas or pillow fights. I’m just guessing the Divas sitting in a circle and passing around a bong wouldn’t have been in keeping with their PG rating. But of course, the Divas looking all jailbait-y while bouncing up and down and fighting with pillows is totally PG, right? Shh.. it’s not supposed to make sense.

Speaking of sense, it’s fantastic that the WWE is starting off Women’s History Month with a sufficiently degrading match. Nothing like celebrating the accomplishments and advancement of women like making them boner-fodder for Cheech and Chong. And it’s only March 1st, people! There’s a whole month left! I can only hope a water balloon fight is next.

Watch the “match” below:

Guest GMs Cheech and Chong come to the ring, make a few jokes about how high they are, and introduce the Divas. The babyfaces come first, with Kelly Kelly leading out Gail Kim and Eve Torres. Next, appropriately, they introduce the heels as “the.. other ones!”. The other ones (also known as Maryse [I wouldn’t bring the Divas Title out for this shitfest either, girl], Alicia Fox, and Jillian) make their way to the ring. I kinda of appreciate how serious Alicia looks. With something as silly and degrading as this, it kind of takes the sting out to see the heels show how “over” this they are. Cheech and Chong seat themselves in recliners at ringside.

Maryse takes a long moment to pose for the crowd, and the rest of the Divas gang up on her. Soon this alliance breaks down and Jillian just decides to clothesline everyone. I admire her tenacity–while everyone else looks silly fighting with down feathers, she just decides to mow everyone over. She then pounds every Diva with a pillow and belts out a celebratory high note. Kelly stuffs her pillow in her face to stop the sound and hits a sloppy looking K2–bare feet don’t provide the best traction, after all. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out at 2.

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Raw Response: March 1st, 2010

Pot comedy legends Cheech and Chong are hosting Raw tonight. Tune in for weed jokes a plenty and Maryse’s first Raw as the new Divas Champion. Discuss the show in the comments!

Rosa Mendes Moves Back to Raw

As seen last night on WWE Superstars, Rosa Mendes is now once again part of the Raw roster along with Zack Ryder. I mentioned in the Diva Draft: Extreme Edition that it wouldn’t really matter which brand they were on because they’d end up staples of Superstars and look what we have here. I’d have … Read more

Raw Redux (Feb. 22nd, 2010) – What Took You So Long?

The bait and switch pulled at the Elimination Chamber PPV led many of us to believe that the WWE had bigger plans for the Divas Championship tournament finals. Perhaps a lengthier feud to build up such an important match? No, as it turns out, because they finally decided to have the match on a regular old ordinary episode of Raw. Watch the match below and see if it was worth all the wait:

It definitely surprised me when the Divas Championship logo passed over the screen. But I think, more than surprise, I felt relief–finally this tournament is over! Maryse makes her entrance, and Gail Kim follows. It is mentioned how badly Maryse treated Gail in their tag team match the night before, but other than that this doesn’t feel like something that has been built up over numerous weeks. It feels more like the beginning of a feud; one that started at the PPV last night. At any rate, I’m glad to see this match finally happening. Let’s get on with it.

Maryse goes for the attack at the start of the match, but Gail slips past her, catching her in a belly-to-back hold. Maryse strikes Gail to get free, but the next blow is missed, and Gail rolls Maryse into a pin. Maryse quickly kicks out. Maryse reversed an irish whip into the corner and charges at Gail, but Gail slips out through the ropes, allowing Maryse to run full on into the turnbuckle. Gail blocks a few attacks from Maryse and leaps back over the ropes, continuing the momentum into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at 2.

Gail goes on a string of offense, Maryse beginning to look sluggish. It’s only until Gail tries to bash her head against the turnbuckle that Maryse retaliates. She blocks it with her boot and hits Gail’s head against the target instead. She tosses Gail in over the ropes, but Gail quickly reverses momentum into an attempt at the Eat Defeat, but Maryse holds onto the ropes, blocking the move. She kicks Gail across the face and goes for the pin, getting a 2-count.

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Raw Response: February 22nd, 2010

Tonight’s Raw will be hosted by singer Jewel and her husband, bull-riding champion Ty Murray. The Divas Championship tournament finals may take place tonight, but you should all know by now to not hold your breath waiting for it! Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (Feb. 15th, 2010) – The Mystery of the Missing Divas Championship Tournament

If last week’s Raw was lacking in terms of build-up to the Divas Championship Tournament finals, this week was downright moronic. With Maryse and Gail Kim‘s long-delayed match still set for this Sunday’s Elimination Chamber PPV, one would be safe to assume that there would be at least some build up for it on the last Raw before the show. Just a little? Maybe even merely acknowledging it? Well, keep your hopes at ground level, kids, because the WWE disappointment machine was on full power this week:

Guest GM Jerry Springer comes to the ring for a special show entitled “WWE Superstars’ Most Intimate Relationship Secrets Revealed”. If you’ve ever seen Springer’s show, you know that it only features the trashiest of the trashy (think topless midget fights), so this was never destined to be flattering for any individual involved. Springer introduces Kelly Kelly, whose secret is that she’s pregnant! Yep, she must be early along, because we all know nothing says pregnant like washboard abs and a belly-baring top. She tells Jerry that she doesn’t know who the father is, in a move more akin to Maury Povich’s show than Springer. But whatever, just go with it. All you need to know is that Kelly is the village bicycle.

She brings out the first possible father, Santino. He calls Jerry Maury and details the situation that he thinks got Kelly knocked up. Kelly then tells him that she needed someone else to “finish the job”. It’s at this moment that I wonder what happened to the WWE’s PG aspirations. I guess they go out the window when someone like Springer’s on the show. Still, I’d be pissed if I were a parent who brought my kid to the show.

She says she needed someone with more experience, and this prompts Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler to be brought into the mix. A few dry heaves later, Brie and Nikki Bella come out with a revelation of their own. They say they saw someone else with Kelly, and Nikki breaks in to announce that Brie is a man. They catfight, Springer style. After the fight is broken up, the next possible baby daddy is brought out, and Chris Masters enters. In response to this, Eve Torres comes busting in with her best impression of a Springer guest, trash talking Kelly for “stealing her man” and fighting with her. She then reveals to Chris that she had cheated on him with the Great Khali, who comes to the ring and embraces her. The craziness simmers down, and Jerry reads the results of the paternity test, revealing the father of Kelly’s 3-day old fetus. Science has come a long way, eh?

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Raw Response: February 15th, 2010

Talk show host and all around trash magnet Jerry Springer is hosting Raw tonight. Keep a look out for build up to Maryse and Gail’s match at this Sunday’s Elimination Chamber. Discuss the show in the comments!

Raw Redux (February 8th, 2010) – An Afterthought

For weeks we’ve been following the Divas Championship tournament, with all its stops and starts. Two weeks ago we finally made the match-up for the finals, but getting to that match has been harder than it seems. Many of us want the WWE to just get it over with, as it’s been obvious from the start that Maryse will be walking away with the title. Thus, it’s been some acute form of torture to see the WWE stretch this thing out as long as possible. This week was no different, and on top of it we got some bad good news: the finals will be taking place in less than two weeks at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Until then, we’ve got two Raws to fill, and you better believe it that the WWE will give it as little build up as possible:

See? We’ve been treated to a random match between Gail Kim and Jillian, which kind of sneaks up on us because no one was given an entrance, and the match wasn’t even announced. Hey, they’ve gotta free up time for all the Shawn Michaels angst and John Cena beatdown replays! Maryse, of course, is on commentary, making this impending finals match-up even more of a laughing stock. You’d think the WWE would get that doing it this way makes it look like Maryse is the champion, scouting her challenger in Gail. I’m sure they notice, but just don’t give a shit.

In the ring, Gail and Jillian start with a tie-up, Jillian taking control and backing Gail up against the ropes. Gail slips through the ropes, falling to the outside. Jillian tosses her back into the ring and goes for a pin, getting a 1-count. She whips Gail into the corner and gets an elbow to the face when she goes for an attack. Gail climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, but Jillian sweeps her feet and knocks her all the way to the mat. Another pin, another 1-count.

Meanwhile, on commentary, Maryse talks about how much more sophisticated Raw Divas are in contrast to what’s been going on on SmackDown with Mickie James. Complain about the fat jokes all you want, Maryse, but at least they’re given more than 3 minutes of screen time. Maybe the Raw Divas should start having food fights.. Jillian pounds Gail’s head onto the mat and hoists her up, but Gail slips free, hitting the Eat Defeat. She pins Jillian for the win.

The match, which was literally ONE MINUTE long, was as good as any match could be with such a ridiculous time limit. I give boatloads of credit to Jillian and Gail for making such a joke of a match interesting and fun with what little they were given. Funny, though, that the post-match promo was longer than the match itself. Maryse, get priority? Never!!

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Raw Response: February 8th, 2010

NASCAR driver Carl Edwards is hosting Raw tonight live from Louisiana, the home state of the Super Bowl champs. There is no Divas Championship Tournament final scheduled for the show, so expect more build up towards the eventual match (perhaps at the Elimination Chamber PPV on February 21st?) Discuss the show in the comments! EDIT: … Read more

Raw Response: February 1st, 2010

Tonight’s Raw guest GM is Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner. Also, tune in for the finals of the Divas Championship tournament, pitting Maryse vs. Gail Kim (read our predictions here). Discuss the show in the comments! EDIT: Since the match (which I’m 99.9% sure was actually scheduled for the show) didn’t take place, use the … Read more

Divas Title Match on Raw

Fresh from crowning a new Women’s Champion, WWE will crown a new Divas Champion tonight as Gail Kim and Maryse compete in the finals of the Divas Championship tournament tonight on Raw. The Divas Title was vacated one month ago when former champion, Melina suffered an injury at a house show.

Raw Redux (January 25th, 2010) – The Clock’s Ticking…

Last week we were caught a bit off guard when the WWE decided to hold a tag team match instead of the semi-finals of the Divas Championship Tournament. It seemed to me back then that it would suck out what little momentum the tournament already had, but did it? Let’s take a look at this week’s action–two semi-finals matches–and see if the tournament has any momentum left going into the finals.

First up we have Maryse and Eve Torres in their semi-final match. Maryse gets on the microphone, telling the other Divas in the tournament that they are “just wasting their time”, and that she is most certainly going to win the Divas Championship. The Divas could have known this weeks ago if they only read Diva Dirt, but I suppose the point is made clearer when spoken in French. She is interrupted by guest GM Dulé Hill (of “Psyche” fame) messing with the pyrotechnics. He blasts the entrance ramp with pyro, and Maryse has a few choice words for him. It’s funny, and Hill provides a good foil for Maryse’s bitchy anger (he was also a good foil for another Diva’s wrath, but we’ll get to that later). Finally, Eve makes her entrance and the match starts:

They start with a tie-up, Eve delivering a few blows to Maryse and backing her into the corner. She continues with this dominance until the ref separates them. Maryse then slaps her across the face and goes for another, but Eve ducks and hits a dropkick, going for the pin. Maryse kicks out, and Michael Cole remarks how Eve winning would be a “mild upset”. Try total upset, Cole, you and me both know there ain’t no way Maryse is losing.

Maryse whips Eve into the ropes, but Eve stops her own momentum and delivers a kick to the face. She bounces off the ropes once more and slams Maryse to the mat hair first (maybe head first, but Maryse’s weave is looking mighty long these days..). Eve hits her somersault splash and attempts a pin, Maryse kicking out at 2. Maryse seeks refuge in the corner, but Eve sandwiches her with a flying clothesline, planting her to the mat with a scoop slam. She climbs to the top rope (Maryse casually~ getting into position), going for a moonsault that doesn’t connect. Maryse rolls out of the way just in time, and Eve eats mat.

Maryse looks to take advantage of this by hitting the French Kiss right then and there, but Eve reverses it into a Northern Lights Suplex. It wasn’t Molly Holly-esque by any means (she couldn’t hold the bridge, for one), but she goes for the pin nonetheless, and Maryse kicks out.

Maryse holds onto the ropes as Eve tries to drag her away, and Maryse kicks her in the stomach, pulling her to the center of the ring and planting her with the French Kiss. One provocative~ pin later, and Maryse advances to the finals.

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Raw Response: January 25th, 2010

Actor Dulé Hill from USA Network’s “Pysch” is hosting Raw tonight. Tune in for the semi-finals of the Divas Championship Tournament (that is, if the WWE sees fit to actually do hold them this week). Discuss the show in the comments!