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SmackDown Redux (October 2nd, 2009) – Mind Your Own Brand Business!

Last time on SmackDown Superstars: The dynamic duo of Michelle and Layla defeated the not-so-dynamic team of Maria and Melina. Maria played rag doll and Melina wasn’t there to save her from interference from Michelle, so the loss only served to push the former friends ever further apart.

This week: Are we going to see a blow-up anytime soon, or will this simmer longer? Are we in for more skits, or will this 10th Anniversary special be more wrestling-based, with the drama reserved for a less prestigious event?

Justin Roberts tell us that this is a Lumberjack match for the Women’s Championship. We are then graced by the presence of Divas from all three brands (All entering to Eve’s music.. I guess because it’s the most generic?), and it’s easy to figure out who’s the challenger by eliminating each Diva that walks down the ramp in her awkward street clothes. Next through the curtains is Melina, and as she makes her way to the ring they cut to a quick shot of Maria. I suppose that will suffice for this week’s storyline advancement? I absolutely loved Natalya’s reaction to Melina’s entrance, like she was appalled. Kinda cute. Michelle is the last one out.

They start with a tie-up, and Michelle quickly uses her knee brace to take Melina down, planting it into her gut. She attempts a pin, but no luck. She pulls Melina to her feet, pummeling her into the ropes and then dragging her back to the middle by her hair. A shot to the spine later, she attempts to whip Melina into the ropes, but she reverses it, stopping her momentum and nailing Michelle in the face. She hoists herself onto the ropes and perform her patented leg attack, choking Michelle. She attempts to finish it off with a chop to the head, but Michelle pushes her up and over the ropes. Melina lands on the apron, fighting Michelle through the ropes.

Michelle reaches for a jab but Melina splits–literally–by landing in a split on the apron and then nailing her with a shot to the stomach. Michelle responds with a dropkick, sending Melina out into the Lumberjack’s domain. Thankfully, she landed on the “good girl” side, because all they want to do is help her to her feet. Michelle sees this and brings Melina into the ring herself. Michelle continues with her attack, kicking Melina and pounding her face into the mat. A few uppercuts, and Michelle attempts another whip, but Melina reverses it again, using this momentum to go on offense.

A few strikes later, she plants Michelle with a flapjack, going for the pin. The ref counts to two, and meanwhile I wonder how absurd it would be for a Diva to win the Women’s Championship with a flapjack. She gets the champ to her feet, but Michelle kicks her, whipping her into the ropes. On the return, Melina meets her with a kick of her own, then striking her in the head and dropping her to the mat. She goes for the ropes again, but she overestimated the kindness of strangers, venturing by the “bad girl” side. And sure enough, Jillian grabs her leg, distracting her.

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The Tiffany Guide to Impact: Uninspired Impact is Uninspired

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This week on the ever-so-inaptly-named program we’ve come to know as Impact, we saw two Playboy bunnies stink up the six-sided ring, a Knockouts title match, and the debut of TNA’s newest Knockout entity.

First Knockouts match on the card: Christy Hemme vs. Traci Brooks in a Playboy something-something match.  I have no idea why Christy is dressed up as a Chippendale dancer, but the ever so bodacious Traci forces her against the ropes and into a pin attempt.  Christy kicks out at 2, and Traci follows up with a mat slam.  Traci follows Christy into the corner, but receives a boot to the face.  Christy lands a charging 180 spinning facebuster.  Christy delivers an axe kick to the back of Traci’s head, but Traci kicks out as well.  Christy attempts the FFG, but the only thing catching her firecrotch is the unforgiving canvas.  Traci covers Christy which results in a nearfall.  A stinging chop to the tatas later… Traci falls into a Sunset Flip pin and Christy Hemme picks up the win.

Traci blindsights Christy from behind with an uninspired attack.  So short, it was almost painless.  As gracious as Traci Brooks is, I cannot bring myself to peg this match in a positive light, unfortunately.  Not your best, TNA. Simply put, gimmick matches just don’t fit in with the M.O. of the Knockouts division. This Playboy exhibition was moreso reminiscent of WWE pre-2008.  It just doesn’t seem right to put Christy Hemme over Traci Brooks, although I do realize that either one could do better. Moving on…

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Lacey Von Erich Talks on Joining The Beautiful People, Blasts Angelina Love

New TNA Knockout, Lacey Von Erich has spoken for the first time since signing her contract with TNA in mid-September. Following her television debut last night, the Miami Herald posted an interview with the third generation star as she touches upon joining The Beautiful People and replacing Angelina Love. Let’s just say Von Erich has … Read more

Velvet Sky Speaks on Angelina Love’s Release

Speaking out for the first time, the surviving original member of The Beautiful People, Velvet Sky addresses Angelina Love‘s release in early September. Sky tells the Miami Herald: “It came out of the blue,” Sky said. “We did three TV tapings. She was supposed to go to [TNA’s] Germany tour. The travel was booked, and … Read more

Sara Del Rey Set to Step Into Six-Sided Ring

As announced by Jersey All Pro Wrestling [japw.net], Sara Del Rey will be making a TNA appearance in a live event, this coming November: Hey Jersey All Pro Wrestling fans! JAPW wants to let you know that the superstars of Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling’s “TNA iMPACT!” on Spike (Thursday 9 p.m. ET/PT) are invading … Read more

ECW Diva, Savannah Profiled

New ECW Diva, Savannah, real name Angela Fong has been given her official Superstar profile page on WWE.com. Part and parcel with the new profile is the young Canadian’s first WWE.com photoshoot, which I’m sadly not feeling. Nonetheless, check it out by clicking here.

Vickie Guerrero Returning to the WWE, Managing New Superstar

We reported last week that Vickie Guerrero would be making a return to the WWE, albeit a one-time thing for SmackDown’s 10th Anniversary special. However, reports from the show indicate that her return is actually a long-term one: she will be managing the man she calls her “new boyfriend”, new WWE Superstar Eric Escobar. I’m … Read more

SmackDown Spoilers: October 2nd, 2009

This week’s SmackDown spoilers are in the tags below. The show will air this Friday, October 2nd. Click the ‘+’ to read:

More detailed spoilers now up.

SmackDown - October 2nd, 2009
Michelle McCool vs. Melina – Lumberjill match for the Women’s Title
Practically all the divas were out there other than Mickie James and Gail Kim. Savannah was even out there. Not much done with the Lumberjacks. Towards the end, Melina ran the ropes and Jillian grabbed her foot so she dove on the outside to take some of them out. Of course a brawl ensues. Back in the ring Melina goes up top and Beth pulls her leg to crotch her on the top. Michelle hits the Faith Breaker for the win.
Winner and still WWE Women’s Champion: Michelle McCool

Thoughts after the cut:

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Exclusive: Traci Brooks on Playboy Photoshoot, Why She’s Not on Magazine Cover, Knockouts Division, WWE Divas & Much More

She’s the first Knockout to represent TNA in Playboy, as the iconic men’s magazine gets in the ring with TNA Wrestling. Speaking to Diva Dirt‘s Tiffany, Traci Brooks dishes all on her Playboy photoshoot; how it came about, how her fellow Knockouts reacted and clarifies why she was bumped from the print edition. The original … Read more

Wedding Bells Ring for Lilian Garcia!

While RAW missed its weekly dose of Lilian Garcia, the tenured and now former WWE Diva got married last Monday night!  Lilian officially broke the exciting news via her Twitter page yesterday afternoon: Hi everyone. Normally I would be sad today cause of Raw tonight but I have a good reason why I’m not….I’M GETTING … Read more

Raw Response: September 28th, 2009

Tonight’s Raw is hosted by radio host and civil rights activist Reverend Al Sharpton. Tune into the show (9pm EST on the USA Network) and discuss any Divas action in the comments below! EDIT: Just announced: Mickie James vs. Alicia Fox for Divas Championship this Sunday at Hell in a Cell. Come one, come all … Read more

Roundtable (Sept. 28th, 2009): Tag Titles, Lacey VE in TNA, Lilian’s Farewell

This week on the Roundtable: It’s an all new revamped Roundtable! New logo, new music, new format. The new Roundtable will discuss a variety of news topics from the week gone by, complete with comments from our readers & polls. This week we discuss Traci Brooks’ Playboy photoshoot, the first ever Knockouts Tag Team Champions, … Read more

Exclusive Shelly Martinez Tell-All (Part 2): Batista Blowout, TNA Career & More

She is one of the most unique personalities in women’s wrestling. As a former WWE Diva, she was the vampiric Ariel and as a former TNA Knockout, she got in touch with her Latin roots as Salinas. But having left wrestling behind and looking forward to more acting projects, she is now simply Shelly Martinez … Read more

Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending September 26th, 2009

In order to consolidate our Eye Candy coverage, we’ve developed a new feature: Unwrapped! We’ll take all the new photoshoots from the week and grade (or “brand”) each based on the following criteria:

Appearance (hair, clothes, makeup.. you get the drift)
Poses (are they versatile or just glorified statues?)
Uniqueness (have we seen this photoshoot a billion times before?)
Grading scale: Sweet (Great)/Bland (Iffy)/Sour (Awful)

Courtney Taylor‘s Taylor Made
Appearance: Courtney’s got on a super-short yellow dress with a bubble hem. It’s nice that it’s loose, because it balances out the shortness of it. The accented collar adds an extra pop, and I love the differing shades of yellow.
Poses: The poses here are a lot less adventurous than the ones her her previous shoots, but she still works the camera. She just needs to not fall into a “statue-posing” rut.
Uniqueness: The dress is in a gorgeous shade of yellow. For some reason, you don’t see yellow too often on Divas.
Grade: Sweet. The itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow dress is cute–but not too simple–and Courtney herself just look fabulous.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Daffney‘s Tough as Nails
Appearance: It’s all leather and denim here, with Daffney sporting a leather corset and collar with a pair of jeans. But what really catches your eye (*cough*) is her extreme eye makeup. It’s not really spooky like Katie Lea’s, but more so tough. I don’t want to say it makes her look like she’s got two black eyes, but I can’t help but think so. Maybe that just adds to her “extreme” persona, like she just got into a knock-down, drag-out fight with some girl that looked at her funny.
Poses: The glaring and baring teeth is fitting for her look without looking over-the-top or silly. She also looks surprisingly sexy in a few. All that considered, I’m guessing she did her job right.
Uniqueness: I think it’s safe to say that this style shoot isn’t uncharted territory for her.
Grade: Sweet. She pulls it off so well while distancing herself from other “gothic girls” like Katie Lea. She’s showing that this persona isn’t at two-dimensional as you might think.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Katie Lea‘s Witchcraft
Appearance: Speaking of gothic girls, Katie Lea’s wearing what’s now become her trademark–black, black, and more black. Her eye makeup is getting more complex. And is it just me, or does that red scarf dangling down almost look like a huge trail of blood?
Poses: It’s the usual Katie Lea fare, but the cool foreshortening done in some of the shots looks a bit strange and unsettling, but definitely fits with the mood of the shoot. It’s like it’s mimicking her ~warped~ mind.
Uniqueness: Nothing new for Katie Lea (by a long shot), but I love the camera angles and different perspectives used in the shoot. Though I’m not sure it would fit with most other Divas.
Grade: Bland. It’s all cool as hell, but I can’t help but think she’s holding back on us a bit. I know there’s more to her than doing this type of shoot over and over and over…
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Madison Rayne‘s Back in the Groove
Appearance: Madison’s back in her Beautiful People style which, judging by her one non-TBP shoot, isn’t exactly a tragedy. This outfit’s still pretty fugly, but at least she has the excuse of the trashy style the team’s become known for. Here, she’s displaying the style in spades, wearing a bra, tiny skirt, and a shade of hot pink. This is far from the trashiest the Beautiful People have looked, but it’s still not all that great. Though, I guess you can’t expect them to suddenly class it up–it’s just not in their style.
Poses: She looks surprisingly sweet.. Are we sure she’s fit to be in The Beautiful People? Aside from her apparent lapse in attitude, the poses are decent. They’re sexy without being too hoochy. Wait, there’s another non-TBP-esque trait. Hm..
Uniqueness: She’s a ready-made Velvet Sky clone. Nothing unique here..
Grade: Bland. Let’s face it: The Beautiful People aren’t ever going to win any style awards. If you judge this shoot while keeping that in mind, it’s not all that bad.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots and vote for your favorite.

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Ashley Massaro Posing for Playboy Again

Former WWE Diva, Ashley Massaro says she will once again be posing for Playboy. If true [and let’s face it, I’m not in a hurry to take her word for it], Ashley would be able to bank what Traci Brooks couldn’t — the cover of the magazine. Writing on her Twitter page, Massaro says: officially … Read more

Footage of Serena Deeb & Miss April in FCW

For those curious, footage of SHIMMER standout, Serena Deeb [now known as Mia Mancini] and Miss April [now AJ Lee] wrestling for FCW has popped up on YouTube. Thanks to ICROFT for pointing it out: It’s rather unfortunate that the #1 Contender for the Divas Championship still has to work the FCW tapings lol. Granted … Read more

Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of September 21st, 2009

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Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Erin: Very sexy and sleek. With those super-high boots she looks badass without looking like she just auditioned for a biker gang. This is a “heel” look if I ever saw one.. 9/10
Melanie: I really like this look, it’s cute and simple. Only a girl with a figure like Alicia could pull off those boots too! 8/10
Steven: Something about the black-on-black look on Alicia does it for me. Looks casual without looking like she’s going club-hopping. 8/10
Tiffany: Alicia looked really good sitting at ringside, as most Divas attempt to. I like that she went simple with the look, which is refreshing. I’m just a bit perplexed by those boots – they go up impossibly high! 9/10

BETH PHOENIX
Erin: The cape is a nice dramatic touch, but she should have put another color in the suit to break up all the red. The gold phoenix is a cool accent, though. 7/10
Melanie: I love the design but honestly, I’m not a huge fan of the colour. It just seems so bright for a dark, broody Glamazon. 8/10
Steven: A little too bright and shiny for my taste, but it works on Beth. Don’t know why, but I like cape thingy she has going on. 7/10
Tiffany: Beth’s new outfit looks much better on paper than it did on broadcast. All that red… it was all a little too bright for me. I’d like to see some darker hues to balance off that red. 7/10

EVE TORRES
Erin: The bottom half looks good, if plain, but the top is kinda strange. It looks like she found a bunch of lime green ribbon and went to town on it. Not a good look unless she’s planning to audition for DX. 5/10
Melanie: The bottom half looks good but Eve’s vest tops are getting really old. 5/10
Steven: Nothing spectacular here. That top looks like something out of The Beautiful People’s closet, and that’s not a compliment. 6/10
Tiffany: Let’s look on the bright side. If teaming up with Cryme Tyme doesn’t work out… at least she’s a shoe-in for D-Generation X. 5/10

LILIAN GARCIA
Erin: If Lilian had a signature look, it’d be a “New Years Eve” theme–always sparkly and flashy and party-ish but still on the demure side. This is the epitome of that, because she literally looks like a disco ball. That’s not meant to be an insult–I really like it. It helps that the rest of the look is colored simply in black. 8/10
Melanie: Not a huge fan of the dress. I guess short dresses & high boots have been Lilian’s trademark for the past 10 years so it makes sense. 4/10
Steven: Lilian, you could have done better for your last night. Reminds me of a disco ball… Me likey the boots though. 5/10
Tiffany: To compliment our last memory of her, Lilian chose wisely. The flash and the flare and the shooting star-like presentation are all very reminiscent of her WWE career. 8/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Roundtable Discussion Post for Monday, Sept. 28th

Due to unforeseen circumstances, last week’s Roundtable was cancelled at the last  second. Sorry to waste your time with the discussion post last week! However, we will be honouring some of the news topics from last week.

As you’ll remember, last week we were getting ready to launch a brand new version of the Roundtable — this will now start next week! Beginning Monday, the Roundtable will be revamped! It’s out with the old and in with the new as we begin a new era of the Roundtable! The show will now have more of a ‘variety’ feel with news and topical debate based on current events.

Instead of a weekly WWE topic and TNA topic, the Roundtable will now be centered around discussing the headlines from the week gone by and bringing you even more news and observations from the different promotions. Each week, we’ll discuss the latest news making waves from the past week and putting our spin on it. The new Roundtable will also be more interactive, with reader surveys for each topic, letting you have the verdict!

What will remain: Where possible, we’ll still read out user comments on the discussion points. We will also be keeping the ‘Guess Who?’ game, the TV Talk and the Mailbag.

On Monday’s Roundtable, we discuss:
– Thoughts on Traci Brooks’ Playboy photoshoot
– Thoughts on Saritaylor as first ever tag champions
– Looking back on Lilian Garcia’s final Raw
– Lacey Von Erich joins TNA
– Lauren Mayhew joins WWE as new ring announcer
– Tara says she is next Brock Lesnar

If you’d like to add your comments & ask a question for the Mailbag, reply with the following:

Name:
Are Saritaylor the rightful first ever tag champions?:
What did you think of Lilian’s send-off?:
Lacey in the Beautiful People, does it work?:
Can Tara make it in MMA?:

Make sure your comment for each topic is no longer than one sentence. Any longer and it will be overlooked.

To take part in the reader survey for each of the topics follow the cut!

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