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Raw Redux (March 8th, 2010): All About Eve

After last week’s moving tribute to womankind, I was bracing myself for the worst with this week’s show. Surprisingly, the WWE decided to put on a straight wrestling match rather than mold the Divas action to guest GM Criss Angel’s gimmick, and for that I’m grateful. But was the match anything to write home about? Let’s see:

Eve Torres, Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly make their way to the ring for a 6-Diva Tag Team match. I guess it’s been a while since we’ve seen one of those, though I haven’t really missed them.. Already in the ring are Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Katie Lea. Scrimping for time, I guess, but that’s nothing new..

Alicia and Gail start things off, Alicia latching Gail into a belly-to-back hold. Gail gets free and locks Alicia into a side headlock. Alicia tries to lift Gail up and gain the advantage, but Gail whips her to the mat, still holding onto the headlock. Alicia frees herself with a few jabs and whips Gail into the corner, charging. Gail slips through the ropes and the two trade blows before Gail leaps out of the way of a shoulder attack, landing in a straddling position on the back on Alicia’s neck. She tosses Alicia back into the ring, but Alicia regains control and whips again her into the same corner. Again, Gail blocks an attack and climbs the turnbuckle. However, instead of attacking Alicia she hits a charging Katie Lea with a flying clothesline, knocking her off the ring apron.

Gail turns her attention back to Alicia and gets a face full of boot. Alicia goes for the pin, getting a 2-count. She takes Gail to her corner and Maryse, for a moment, motions for Alicia to pound Gail’s head into her boot, but she decides against it, for whatever reason, opting instead to be tagged in. Maryse his a back breaker on Gail and goes for a pin, but Gail kicks out. She slaps Gail on the head, looking more like she’s messing up her hair rather than actually striking her. She then knocks Kelly off of the apron. Maryse gets in Gail’s face and gets slapped, getting a taste of her own medicine. Gail springs to life and tags in Eve.

Eve goes on a string of offense, getting a 2-count on Maryse. A poke in the eyes gives Maryse temporary control, until Eve nails Maryse with a kick off the ropes. She hits her somersault splash and goes for the pin, but Alicia and Katie Lea break it up. Actually, they were slowpokes and Maryse had to kick out before the referee counted 3. Get the lead out, ladies! The two of them grab Eve and slam her onto the turnbuckle. The referee, meanwhile, does nothing to stop this. A blatant 3-on-1 and all you’re gonna do is act surprised? Okay..

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week of March 1st, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Beth Phoenix‘s Saucy Secretary
Grade: Sour. Has Beth Phoenix traded in the life of a WWE Diva to be someone’s secretary? Sure looks like it. And if her super short skirt is anything to go by, she may be an Ali Larter in ‘Obsessed’ type secretary — though I’m sure she’d have no problem taking care of Beyonce. Honestly though, I don’t know why Beth so often opts to dress like she’s heading off for a day at the office and it’s not a flattering look on her. It ages her, makes her a little bit frumpy and isn’t the wardrobe of a Glamazon. The poses are the standard hands-on-hips shots that offer little diversity also.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Kelly Kelly‘s Just Dance
Grade: Sweet. Despite looking far too tanned for my liking, Kelly is dressed in cute, sexy, young club wear and looks like she’s ready to go dance the night away. Kelly fits her skinny jeans effortlessly and the the sequined top works on her too. Meanwhile, I really like Kelly with her hair up like this, it gives her more of a fashionable look than her usual hair-down look. The poses aren’t offering too much variety but I think Kelly manages to salvage it with her pearly whites. I particularly love the image we’ve used in the graphic — it looks a little more artsy than the standard Diva catalogue poses.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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In Pictures: Divas Pajama Party

Just when you thought it was okay to stop covering your eyes after Monday’s ‘Pajama Pillowfight’ trainwreck, here’s a blistering reminder. Personally, I find the whole gimmick photoshoot, and the segment on Raw itself, creepy. It sexualises things that are associated with young girls and blurs the boundaries of what’s appropriate for supposedly PG viewing. … Read more

Raw Redux (March 1st, 2010): Welcome to Women’s History Month, Folks

Well, now that we’ve gotten past that pesky Divas Championship Tournament, it’s time to set the division back several years and have a good old fashioned pajama pillow fight. Of course, this is in keeping with this week’s guest GMs, Cheech and Chong, not that their names are synonymous with pajamas or pillow fights. I’m just guessing the Divas sitting in a circle and passing around a bong wouldn’t have been in keeping with their PG rating. But of course, the Divas looking all jailbait-y while bouncing up and down and fighting with pillows is totally PG, right? Shh.. it’s not supposed to make sense.

Speaking of sense, it’s fantastic that the WWE is starting off Women’s History Month with a sufficiently degrading match. Nothing like celebrating the accomplishments and advancement of women like making them boner-fodder for Cheech and Chong. And it’s only March 1st, people! There’s a whole month left! I can only hope a water balloon fight is next.

Watch the “match” below:

Guest GMs Cheech and Chong come to the ring, make a few jokes about how high they are, and introduce the Divas. The babyfaces come first, with Kelly Kelly leading out Gail Kim and Eve Torres. Next, appropriately, they introduce the heels as “the.. other ones!”. The other ones (also known as Maryse [I wouldn’t bring the Divas Title out for this shitfest either, girl], Alicia Fox, and Jillian) make their way to the ring. I kinda of appreciate how serious Alicia looks. With something as silly and degrading as this, it kind of takes the sting out to see the heels show how “over” this they are. Cheech and Chong seat themselves in recliners at ringside.

Maryse takes a long moment to pose for the crowd, and the rest of the Divas gang up on her. Soon this alliance breaks down and Jillian just decides to clothesline everyone. I admire her tenacity–while everyone else looks silly fighting with down feathers, she just decides to mow everyone over. She then pounds every Diva with a pillow and belts out a celebratory high note. Kelly stuffs her pillow in her face to stop the sound and hits a sloppy looking K2–bare feet don’t provide the best traction, after all. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out at 2.

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In Pictures: Kelly Pulls Up in Her Red Dress for ‘Character Approved’ Awards

Who’s that sexy, classy chica and what has she done with bejewelled bra wearing Kelly Kelly? Kelly, along with the Big Show, attended USA Network’s second annual ‘Character Approved’ Awards and well, let’s just say we approve! Foxy Kelly is wearing the hell out of this dress and looks incredibly elegant and glamorous. Love it!

Raw Redux (Feb. 22nd, 2010) – What Took You So Long?

The bait and switch pulled at the Elimination Chamber PPV led many of us to believe that the WWE had bigger plans for the Divas Championship tournament finals. Perhaps a lengthier feud to build up such an important match? No, as it turns out, because they finally decided to have the match on a regular old ordinary episode of Raw. Watch the match below and see if it was worth all the wait:

It definitely surprised me when the Divas Championship logo passed over the screen. But I think, more than surprise, I felt relief–finally this tournament is over! Maryse makes her entrance, and Gail Kim follows. It is mentioned how badly Maryse treated Gail in their tag team match the night before, but other than that this doesn’t feel like something that has been built up over numerous weeks. It feels more like the beginning of a feud; one that started at the PPV last night. At any rate, I’m glad to see this match finally happening. Let’s get on with it.

Maryse goes for the attack at the start of the match, but Gail slips past her, catching her in a belly-to-back hold. Maryse strikes Gail to get free, but the next blow is missed, and Gail rolls Maryse into a pin. Maryse quickly kicks out. Maryse reversed an irish whip into the corner and charges at Gail, but Gail slips out through the ropes, allowing Maryse to run full on into the turnbuckle. Gail blocks a few attacks from Maryse and leaps back over the ropes, continuing the momentum into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at 2.

Gail goes on a string of offense, Maryse beginning to look sluggish. It’s only until Gail tries to bash her head against the turnbuckle that Maryse retaliates. She blocks it with her boot and hits Gail’s head against the target instead. She tosses Gail in over the ropes, but Gail quickly reverses momentum into an attempt at the Eat Defeat, but Maryse holds onto the ropes, blocking the move. She kicks Gail across the face and goes for the pin, getting a 2-count.

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NXTeams: Diva & Rookie Duos for WWE NXT

WWE has announced the pro and rookie duos for it’s new series, WWE NXT to debut next Tuesday but quite unsurprisingly, it doesn’t seem this ‘season’ will feature any Divas. Boo! The  show will feature ‘WWE Pros’ teaming up with ‘Rookies’ as their mentors throughout the series. So we decided to come up with our own pro/rookie team suggestions for NXT. WWE, please feel free to steal and put them into practice.

AJ Lee & Melina

Pro: Melina. Three-time Women’s Champion, one time Divas Champion, Diva of the Year 2009 in Diva Dirt Year-End Awards.
Rookie: AJ Lee. Queen of FCW, former WSU Tag Team Champion.
Perhaps the most obvious pairing for WWE NXT would be to put FCW’s ‘Pocket Rocket’, the young and talented AJ Lee with Melina. Lee has long been a fan of Melina and looks up to the former Women’s Champ so it’d a dream come true for her to one day be on the same roster as the A-List Diva. But how about going one step further and having Melina mentor AJ on NXT? Melina is known for her fire and passion which comes through in the ring, but outside of the ring she’s just as easily able to play the smiley babyface and the bitchy heel. No doubt, she’d have some invaluable lessons to share with Lee who is already well on her way to one day becoming a WWE Women’s Champion! She’s already the Queen of FCW and the standout female wrestler there with Serena now called up. Melina is sweet and good-natured and would be a positive role model to Lee who I think should play a babyface. She has a great likable quality to her just like Melina.

Aksana & Maryse

Pro: Maryse. Former Divas Champion. Best Heel in Diva Dirt Year-End Awards.
Rookie: Aksana. Former world renowned fitness model.
Aksana — known in the fitness world by her real name of Zivile Raudoniene — it seems was hired following the success of Maryse in the Divas division. Both are voluptuous blondes and both have a foreign sexiness to them. Aksana could play the bitchy heel role like her mentor, Maryse in NXT — trying to psych out the other girls and make sure that she stops at nothing for success. With Maryse’s help, Aksana could be the ‘villain’ of the reality-like show. But then again, Maryse being the attention-loving Diva that she is, why would she want more competition on the main roster? This could be an interesting dynamic with Maryse sabotaging Aksana along the way and the pair clashing would make for great drama.

More after the cut:

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Raw Redux (Feb. 15th, 2010) – The Mystery of the Missing Divas Championship Tournament

If last week’s Raw was lacking in terms of build-up to the Divas Championship Tournament finals, this week was downright moronic. With Maryse and Gail Kim‘s long-delayed match still set for this Sunday’s Elimination Chamber PPV, one would be safe to assume that there would be at least some build up for it on the last Raw before the show. Just a little? Maybe even merely acknowledging it? Well, keep your hopes at ground level, kids, because the WWE disappointment machine was on full power this week:

Guest GM Jerry Springer comes to the ring for a special show entitled “WWE Superstars’ Most Intimate Relationship Secrets Revealed”. If you’ve ever seen Springer’s show, you know that it only features the trashiest of the trashy (think topless midget fights), so this was never destined to be flattering for any individual involved. Springer introduces Kelly Kelly, whose secret is that she’s pregnant! Yep, she must be early along, because we all know nothing says pregnant like washboard abs and a belly-baring top. She tells Jerry that she doesn’t know who the father is, in a move more akin to Maury Povich’s show than Springer. But whatever, just go with it. All you need to know is that Kelly is the village bicycle.

She brings out the first possible father, Santino. He calls Jerry Maury and details the situation that he thinks got Kelly knocked up. Kelly then tells him that she needed someone else to “finish the job”. It’s at this moment that I wonder what happened to the WWE’s PG aspirations. I guess they go out the window when someone like Springer’s on the show. Still, I’d be pissed if I were a parent who brought my kid to the show.

She says she needed someone with more experience, and this prompts Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler to be brought into the mix. A few dry heaves later, Brie and Nikki Bella come out with a revelation of their own. They say they saw someone else with Kelly, and Nikki breaks in to announce that Brie is a man. They catfight, Springer style. After the fight is broken up, the next possible baby daddy is brought out, and Chris Masters enters. In response to this, Eve Torres comes busting in with her best impression of a Springer guest, trash talking Kelly for “stealing her man” and fighting with her. She then reveals to Chris that she had cheated on him with the Great Khali, who comes to the ring and embraces her. The craziness simmers down, and Jerry reads the results of the paternity test, revealing the father of Kelly’s 3-day old fetus. Science has come a long way, eh?

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending February 6th, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Brie & Nikki Bella‘s Bella Bowl II
Grade: Bland. This is the second in a series where the Bellas dress up in support of the two teams competing in the Super Bowl. This may be only the second time they’ve done this, but it’s probably the 75th time they’ve done the “sexy sports” thing, so it’s nothing that hasn’t been done over and over. What’s interesting is the cute “trash talking” poses–that’s what these shoots should be like. I’m not digging the football pants and heels combo, nor is the beer hat look very cute. Still, it’s nice to see Brie and Nikki play off each other like they do in a few shots. I’d much prefer a shoot full of that than trying to look sexy while doing the Heisman pose–save that type of originality for every chick competing in the Lingerie Bowl. Gotta say, though, that I’m on Nikki’s side on this one. Geaux Saints!
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Jillian‘s Ripped to Threads
Grade: Sweet. Jillian’s style, despite her colorful and over-the-top personality, has always been on the simple side. There’s nothing wrong with that, though at times I’ve found her ring gear choices to be a bit uninspired. This is the first one I’ve really liked–the blue is really pretty, and the stitched portions are a nice interesting touch that don’t look tacky as they could if done in a less subtle way. Her makeup and hair are gorgeous in an understated way. Similarly, Jillian’s poses in this soot are rather simple, but she looks more natural here than she has in a long time. With such relaxed poses, this shoot almost seems the polar opposite of what we think of when we see Jillian, but I like that. Sure, the poses could stand to be a bit more exciting, but I’ll take anything that’s not a “duck lips” pose. It’s this type of natural feel that I like to see from Divas–funny that it’s coming from one of the most outlandish Divas, in terms of personality.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Feb. 4th, 2010): An Unfamiliar Sight

Another week, another Raw Divas match on WWE Superstars. This week, we’ve got another tag team match: Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly vs. Alicia Fox and Katie Lea. Can Katie Lea score her first win in quite a while, or will the flashy faces prevail? Watch the match below:

Alicia and Eve start the match with a tie-up, Alicia taking control and turning a side headlock into a hip toss. She holds the headlock on Eve, despite her fight for momentum. Alicia eventually gets to her feet and is shoved away by Eve. Alicia bounces off the ropes and shoulder-blocks and attack by Eve, laying her out. Alicia goes for an attack of her own off the ropes, but is hit with a dropkick from Eve.

Alicia spazzes out a bit (overselling the dropkick much?) while frantically trying to get to her corner to tag in Katie Lea. Katie comes in and locks Eve in a belly-to-back hold that she eventually gets out of, twisting one of Katie’s arms and tagging in Kelly. She then hits Katie with a snapmare by the arm, allowing her and Kelly to hit a doubleteam on her. Kelly goes for he pin, and gets a 1-count. Kelly brings Katie to her feet, but Katie immediately lifts her up (I always call Kelly the “rag doll”, but this is too literal!) and carries her to her corner, smashing her back-first into the turnbuckle.

She goes for an attack but Kelly blocks it, nailing Alicia and then Katie again. Alicia gets another elbow to the face and Kelly dodges a charge from Katie. She hits an arm drag, wrenching Katie’s arm and tagging in Eve. Eve climbs the turnbuckle, hitting a sunset flip onto Katie and rolling her into a pin, getting a 2-count. She hits Katie with a few forearms (or pats to the cheek.. they were so light they might as well have been) before having an irish-whip reversed on her. She comes off the ropes and kicks a crouched Katie, hitting a clothesline and then her somersault splash. She attemps a pin, but the referee checks Katie’s shoulders and she kicks out before he can even get down a 1-count.

Both Divas get to their feet, Katie taking refuge in the corner. Eve advances towards her but is kicked in the face. Katie goes for an attack but Eve hoists her up into a fireman’s carry, falling back and sandwiching Katie onto the mat (my God.. I don’t think I’ve seen that move since the last time I played a wrestling video game, which has been yearsss). She climbs the turnbuckle, prepping for a moonsault, but Alicia shakes the ropes, making her lose her footing. Eve doesn’t fall, though, but climbs back down. She grabs Alicia by the hair, and is pulled over the ropes, Katie Lea shoving her over for the last bit. On the outside, Alicia kicks her before Katie comes out and tosses her back into the ring, slamming her knee on the corner of the ring apron.

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Raw Redux (January 25th, 2010) – The Clock’s Ticking…

Last week we were caught a bit off guard when the WWE decided to hold a tag team match instead of the semi-finals of the Divas Championship Tournament. It seemed to me back then that it would suck out what little momentum the tournament already had, but did it? Let’s take a look at this week’s action–two semi-finals matches–and see if the tournament has any momentum left going into the finals.

First up we have Maryse and Eve Torres in their semi-final match. Maryse gets on the microphone, telling the other Divas in the tournament that they are “just wasting their time”, and that she is most certainly going to win the Divas Championship. The Divas could have known this weeks ago if they only read Diva Dirt, but I suppose the point is made clearer when spoken in French. She is interrupted by guest GM Dulé Hill (of “Psyche” fame) messing with the pyrotechnics. He blasts the entrance ramp with pyro, and Maryse has a few choice words for him. It’s funny, and Hill provides a good foil for Maryse’s bitchy anger (he was also a good foil for another Diva’s wrath, but we’ll get to that later). Finally, Eve makes her entrance and the match starts:

They start with a tie-up, Eve delivering a few blows to Maryse and backing her into the corner. She continues with this dominance until the ref separates them. Maryse then slaps her across the face and goes for another, but Eve ducks and hits a dropkick, going for the pin. Maryse kicks out, and Michael Cole remarks how Eve winning would be a “mild upset”. Try total upset, Cole, you and me both know there ain’t no way Maryse is losing.

Maryse whips Eve into the ropes, but Eve stops her own momentum and delivers a kick to the face. She bounces off the ropes once more and slams Maryse to the mat hair first (maybe head first, but Maryse’s weave is looking mighty long these days..). Eve hits her somersault splash and attempts a pin, Maryse kicking out at 2. Maryse seeks refuge in the corner, but Eve sandwiches her with a flying clothesline, planting her to the mat with a scoop slam. She climbs to the top rope (Maryse casually~ getting into position), going for a moonsault that doesn’t connect. Maryse rolls out of the way just in time, and Eve eats mat.

Maryse looks to take advantage of this by hitting the French Kiss right then and there, but Eve reverses it into a Northern Lights Suplex. It wasn’t Molly Holly-esque by any means (she couldn’t hold the bridge, for one), but she goes for the pin nonetheless, and Maryse kicks out.

Maryse holds onto the ropes as Eve tries to drag her away, and Maryse kicks her in the stomach, pulling her to the center of the ring and planting her with the French Kiss. One provocative~ pin later, and Maryse advances to the finals.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 21st, 2010): A Slight Twist

Last week’s Superstars Mixed Tag match didn’t exactly set the world on fire, and I expressed hope that the WWE would use this program to showcase a weekly Divas match, preferably one-on-one. Well, this week brings hope that they might actually be heading in that direction, as we’ve got Kelly Kelly taking on Jillian in a singles match. It’s certainly a different Diva combination from we’ve seen lately, so I’m interested in seeing how they’ll work together–will it be good, bad, horrific? Check out the match below and find out for yourself:

Jillian makes her way to the ring, and proceeds to tell the audience about how she had felt nervous about tonight until she heard a Miley Cyrus song on the radio, that song being “Party in the USA”, which I believe is the only song in the history of music whose Kidz Bop cover sounds better (not that I’ve listened to either voluntarily.. *cough*). Jillian butchers the song, and the crowd boos her within an inch of her life. It’s weird, but I think Miley got the biggest heat the WWE’s seen in a while. Maybe they can channel that into a shitty impersonation by Santino.

Kelly interrupts the singing, getting a rather large pop. She enters the ring, and the match begins with a tie-up, Jillian immediately nailing Kelly with a knee to her stomach. She wrenches Kelly’s arm, prompting her to head to the corner and climb the turnbuckle, hitting a sitdown flip off the top rope and sending Jillian flying with the resulting armdrag. Kelly keeps the momentum going, hitting a frankensteiner and hooking Jillian’s leg for a 2-count.

She pounds Jillian’s head a bit, then attempting a kick that Jillian blocks, catching her leg. Kelly does a backwards flip to escape, but once back on her feet Jillian takes her down with a clothesline. Talk about a spinning head.. Jillian attempts a pin, getting 2. She picks Kelly up by the hair, shaking her head violently. She continues with the hair-driven attacks, tossing Kelly across the ring by her blonde locks. With the popularity of weaves amongst the Divas you’d think those types of moves would be outlawed, a la the shooting star press from a while back. Hey, it is dangerous–exposing fake hair counts as breaking kayfabe!!

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In Video: Kelly Kelly and Maria on Sky Sports News

As we mentioned on Twitter earlier this week, Divas Kelly Kelly and Maria joined the Sky Sports News broadcast on Thursday in the UK. The duo were in London to promote the Royal Rumble on January 31st. Watch the interview below:

Again, another fun interview and both girls bounced off each other and showed personality.

I believe Kelly was on Sky Sports 1’s Soccer AM this morning, so I’ll add a clip here when it hits YouTube. It’s now on YouTube:

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Women of Wrestling Episode 4: Kelly Kelly

Stew and Lee: So where in the world has the Women of Wrestling Podcast been for these last couple of months? Good question, dear listener… but while we ponder that one, why not sit back and enjoy a stopgap chat with WWE’s very own Kelly Kelly. Yes, you read that correctly. An abbreviated interview, but … Read more

Raw Redux (January 11th, 2010) – Split in Two

With two spots left in the semi-finals, the Raw Divas soldiered on with the Divas Championship tournament, competing in two matches. After last week’s two tournament openers (one on Raw, the other on Superstars), would the underwhelming feeling improve with this weeks bouts? Let’s see.. The first bout of the night featured Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox battling to go on to the next round:

Kelly makes her entrance, dressed in Maria’s leftover fabric scraps and shoes that are definitely not meant for athletic competition. You’re just asking for a sprained ankle with those skater shoes, girl.. Alicia follows, and the match starts with a rough tie-up. Kelly backs Alicia into the ropes, and the referee gets between them (literally) to break it up. Alicia takes this pause in the match to blast Kelly with a forearm, kneeing her and tossing her into the corner. She smashes her face into the turnbuckle a few times before hitting a snapmare.

Alicia keeps her grasp on Kelly’s hair, latching her into a sleeper hold. She makes a grab for her nose, wrenching Kelly’s face and switching the hold to the mat, keeping her locked in. Alicia shows some great aggression with this, the hold punctuated by Kelly’s screams. Kelly might overdo the screaming most of the time, but it’s moments like these that they’re effective. Kelly fights to get free, and Alicia moves back onto her knees, not letting go. Kelly eventually gets to her feet, punching Alicia in the stomach and freeing herself from the hold.

Still, Alicia reclaims control, irish-whipping Kelly into the corner. Kelly stops herself with the top turnbuckle, attempting a hurricanrana on Alicia, but she catches Kelly’s legs and tosses her over the ropes onto the ring apron. Alicia goes for the attack, but Kelly lands a forearm, grabbing her and pulling her over the ropes. Alicia lands on the outside, and Kelly hits a crossbody from the ring apron, then quickly tossing Alicia back into the ring. Kelly goes on her textbook offense (press the up arrow and triangle on PS3 to trigger it), punctuated by a long, twirly hurricanrana. She attempts a frankensteiner, but Alicia stops her momentum, turning it into a sick powerbomb, folding up Kelly into a pin. She gets the 3-count and advances in the tournament! She will face Maryse next week in the semi-finals.

Needless to say, I was extremely surprised to see Alicia win. I was pretty confident in the fact that the WWE wanted to push Kelly as the top babyface, given the great crowd reactions she gets and the fact that they use her in their marketing more than any other Diva. That’s not to say that I’m not happy with Alicia winning–I was rooting for her, in fact. I’m glad that she won, and I feel that she’s much more deserving of the Divas Championship than Kelly. It’s a little strange to think that, given how much longer Kelly’s been in the WWE. Most are aware that the girls were hired at the same time, though, and Alicia just spent her time training in the developmental system while Kelly did stripteases on ECW.

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Playing the Odds: The Divas Championship Tournament

Feeling lucky? In this new feature we’ve dubbed Playing the Odds, we will weigh the odds of certain Diva or Knockout events occurring, be it a championship win or heel turn.

We classify each like so: if the event’s occurrence is highly unlikely, it gets the Long Shot stamp; if it’s within the realm of possibility, it’s a Safe Bet; if it is extremely likely, it is a Sure Thing. Now, this does not mean everything we brand a Sure Thing is destined to happen–it just lines up with what we feel to be feasible from precedent or a person’s current position. Also, this is from our point of view, so don’t take this as fact or anything of the sort.

In this first edition, we will take a look at the ongoing Divas Championship Tournament, seeing which Raw Divas have the best shot at coming out on top. We may not be in Vegas, but we’re placing our bets anyways–take a look at ours and make a few of your own in the comments.

Alicia Fox
Odds: Safe Bet. Even though the WWE has been noticeably fickle about giving Alicia big pushes (they’re more of a “now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t” type thing), she is certainly a rising star in the company. They have felt comfortable giving her title shots before (twice, actually), and though her pushes were always short lived, they showed that she’s not destined to be merely a background player. Comparatively, a Diva such as Layla, who is still pretty much a background player, has never seen the kinds of pushes Alicia has been given. This makes us believe that Alicia might have better luck than her “replacement” (remember, Alicia was Michelle’s tag along first). This year could hold Alicia’s big breakout, and winning this tournament or even giving a good showing in it could effectively kick-start that. Though, as promising as her future looks, the WWE’s fickleness when it comes to her makes us hesitate to give her our full confidence in this tournament. It’s certainly possible that she could go all the way, but we’re not going to be betting the farm on it either.

Brie Bella
Odds: Long Shot. Yes, she’s already out of the tournament, which makes this sort of irrelevant, but when looking at it from an objective standpoint, pretending that the match had not taken place yet, it’s quite the long shot to picture Brie getting pushed all the way to the title. It’s not that we lack the faith in Brie having success on her own, but with the way the WWE books Brie and her sister–that is, extremely inconsistently–it’s tough to imagine the WWE giving either of them a title run. They seem to only use them in the ring when they need extra bodies. Otherwise, it’s escort duty fro the GM of the week. Bottom line, there’s just been no real investment made in the Bellas by the WWE. Until the WWE starts taking them seriously as competitors, they pose no real threat.

Read more to see how the other Raw Divas’ odds stack up.

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Raw Redux (December 28th, 2009) – Maryse: “Je Suis la Prochain Championne”

It seems as though last week’s Santa’s Little Helpers match actually had some bearing on the future, as apparently Kelly Kelly‘s pin on Maryse has led to a match between the two this week. Will it be better than last week’s short skirt convention? There’s only one way to find out: Maryse starts the match, … Read more

Raw Redux (December 21st, 2009) – It’s the Most Pointless Time of the Year

As we all have become accustomed, this is the time of the year where folks sing carols, wrap presents, and the Divas amount to nothing more than skimpy red costumes. So we saw this coming, and it shouldn’t be surprise that this week’s Raw was absolutely pointless. In what has become an annual thing, Melina, … Read more

Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of December 14th, 2009

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead, we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Erin: Is this a top and a skirt or a dress? Either way, I’m not too keen on it. The pattern could be cute on another clothing item, but here it looks a bit too “Malibu Barbie” for me. 4/10
Melanie: It’s er, unique? I know Alicia has her own quirky style and all, that’s cool but I just can’t… 3/10

THE BELLA TWINS
Erin: It’s not the smartest thing in the world to wear such short, tight dresses for an Evening Gown match, but the dresses themselves aren’t bad at all. I prefer the one with less lace, though. 7/10
Melanie: I like these outfits. I don’t think we can ever expect anything mind-blowing from the Bellas, but this is a step in the right direction. 6/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Raw Redux (December 14th, 2009) – What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Last night’s Raw, in all its bloated 3 hour glory, was the annual Slammy Awards edition. Among the awards to be handed out were Diva of the Year, which was to be voted on by the fans at WWE.com. As we waited on pins and needles (not) to find out who won the award, we pondered whether the award would be given to support a storyline via rigging by the WWE or a popularity contest held by the voting public. As is turns out, it was neither, and I’ll explain my theory as we come to it.

We start our Divas action (not counting the Divas presenting awards throughout the night) with a Jerry Springer-esque evening gown tag team match. The babyfaces–Mickie James, Melina, Brie & Nikki Bella, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria are taking on the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes. Most look out of place and trashy in their gowns, and I would critique them (I’ll save that for this week’s Style Jury), but I’m much more distracted by the fact that they’re WRESTLING IN EVENING GOWNS. Well, this’ll be one mesmerizing clusterfuck:


Skip to 2:52

They start with a line-up face-off, trading verbal barbs before heading off their their respective corners. Mickie and Rosa start off the match, Rosa takign advantage and tossing Mickie around, pounding her head on the mat. They trade slaps, and Rosa tosses Mickie into the corner. Mickie blocks her attack, locking her head with her legs and hitting a hurricanrana. She then pulls her to her feet, hitting her Mickie-T to get the pin an the win for her team.

I have to say, this is one of the few moments where I’m glad that a Diva match was cut short. I’m glad that no more than two Divas had to humiliate themselves by wrestling in their dresses. Mickie and Rosa did as awkwardly as I expected, but hey, someone had to take the bullet. Now that the match is over, it’s time for the Diva of the Year Slammy to be awarded. The girls line up in anticipation as MVP and Goldust present the award.

Our winner is announced as, drumroll please…. Maria??? MVP’s reaction right before he reads her name says it all, and Maria looks as shocked as the rest of us as she goes up to accept her award, saying a typical acceptance speech before being interrupted by Batista in a douche costume, doing a Kanye West impression that’s not only awful but over 3 months old. If the joke were a carton of milk, it would have expired into a living organism at this point and, ironically, would be more worthy of a Diva of the Year award than Maria. Maria plays Taylor Swift as she left the stage and allowed Dave to be “escorted” off by security.

But as we watch the wild pink-polo-wearing douchebag be captured in his natural habitat, we’re left to ponder the reasoning behind this decision to crown Maria as Diva of the Year. Was is it truly a popularity contest, and she was just the most popular Diva among the fans? Or was it rigged for storyline purposes? As I said earlier, I believe it was neither, because I have a theory. Yes, Maria is popular, and I do not doubt that fans flocked to vote for her in the poll, but I don’t believe her star power amongst the casual fans is that much stronger than, say, a Mickie James or a Kelly Kelly.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of December 7th, 2009

ddstylejury

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

JILLIAN
Erin: Jillian’s ring outfits are usually pretty dull, but this one is a bit interesting with that color and pattern. It’s still not much, though. 6/10
Melanie: I actually really like this. It’s cute without being boring as with her past outfits. 6/10
Steven: I like the color on her, but would love to see her do something more with her wardrobe. The black pants/colored top combo is getting kinda old. 6/10

KELLY KELLY
Erin: Too “Flashdance” for my taste. I don’t know.. The naked shoulder just looks a little try-hard. It’s not awful, though. 6/10
Melanie: Don’t like it. The top just isn’t flattering on her and I’d prefer pants. 3/10
Steven: Like we said on the Post-Raw Show, Kelly’s outfit this week was… strange. Looks like she grabbed the nearest black bedsheet and fashioned it into an outfit. 4/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Raw Redux (December 7th, 2009) – A (Relative) Smörgåsbord of Divas

With Maryse two weeks into her return, fans have been less than impressed with her all-around performance. Her return was more head-scratching than anything else and her match last week didn’t show her in-ring skills as much as a more refined affinity to sneak out a win. Will she continue on that path this week, or will we see a more ring-focused Maryse?

We start our night seeing that Kelly Kelly has been handed the duty of announcing the night’s first Divas match. I’m not all the surprised that they saddled Kelly with this random job, since the WWE has a tendency to stick Divas in announcing positions when they don’t know what else to do with them. We’ll see if this becomes a regular thing or was just a plot device to bring in Melina post-match.

The match in question is Gail Kim vs. Maryse. I’m psyched to see Gail get some one-on-one action, as she’s usually stuck in tag team matches (aside from the odd Superstars match). Let’s see if she can pull some good things out what’s so far been a lackluster return angle for Maryse:

The match starts off with a requisite show of arrogance by Maryse–she actually shoves Gail by the head twice. Gail seems to keep her annoyance in check until she spears Maryse to the mat, pounding on her until she’s shoved off. Maryse darts to safety at the other side of the ring, but Gail keeps on her, tossing her by the hair and whipping her into the ropes. Maryse hangs on to the ropes, but Gail drags her back to the middle of the ring by a leg, making Maryse hop along. Gail tosses Maryse’s leg aside, spinning her, and then slamming her down with a hard clothesline.

Maryse crawls to the corner, and once she’s to her feet, Gail charges at her, slipping out of the ring and back in under the ropes, out-smarting Maryse and rolling her up into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at two and wanders to the next corner, only to be sandwiched into it by a flying Gail. Maryse drops to her butt, and Gail proceeds to drive her knee into her neck, using her standing leverage to apply the pressure. Gail eventually backs off and Maryse gets to her feet, simply slapping Gail in the face in rebuttal.

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