We reported last week that Vickie Guerrero would be making a return to the WWE, albeit a one-time thing for SmackDown’s 10th Anniversary special. However, reports from the show indicate that her return is actually a long-term one: she will be managing the man she calls her “new boyfriend”, new WWE Superstar Eric Escobar. I’m … Read more
Former SmackDown and Raw General Manager, Vickie Guerrero will return to WWE as a special guest during next week’s SmackDown 10th anniversary special. Guerrero was handed the invitation last week and has accepted. The appearance will mark the first time Vickie will appear for the company since she left in June of this year. At … Read more
This week: Will Maria discover Michelle’s “evidence”, and will Melina feel the brunt of her fury? What about Michelle–is she gonna get off scot-free?
It looks like the WWE is going the extra mile to ~mix it up~, because we have a match to start out our night! That’s right, no lead-in backstage segments! I know, it’s not much, but you gotta cherish the little things in life.. Melina is the first one out, and Michelle follows, noticeably limping on her bum leg. I gotta wonder why she’s wrestling if she’s struggling to even walk down the ramp..
It should be noted that this is a non-title match, so don’t get too excited.. As it begins, Michelle shies away from an actual lock-up, and Melina’s right after her, trying to pull her away from the ropes. They eventually do tie-up, and Michelle knees Melina in the stomach, pummeling her a bit before irish-whipping her. On the return, Melina reverses Michelle’s attack into a flip that lands her on her feet, nailing Michelle with a reverse kick.
Michelle escapes to the outside, and Melina tries to give chase, only to be stopped by the ref. Gotta wonder why the ref doesn’t start the count until Michelle’s outside for a few seconds, not that any Diva match has been resolved by count-out ever.. (Feel free to correct me on that, historians..) Michelle starts to limp around the ring and Melina gets tired of the delay, sliding out of the ring and giving chase. Michelle, of course, hops back into the ring, and when Melina tries to follow, she grabs her by the hair, forcibly dragging her in through the second rope.
She takes Melina to task, beating her down and bashing her head against the mat. Melina, woozy, tries to right herself with the ropes, but Michelle brings her to the middle of the ring, kneeing her in the face. Another kick, this one to the side of the head, drops her to the mat again. She brings her up, stretching her backwards into a Dragon Sleeper. Melina’s bent into the shape I used to meld my Barbies into when I bent all of their joints.. (No, I wasn’t a problem child..)
Melina fights to get free, punching and kicking Michelle. Before she can free herself, Michelle hammers her in the stomach, releasing the hold. She sends her to the corner and begins work, kneeing her repeatedly and choking her with her bad leg. (See, the knee brace is good for something!) As Melina lays prone on the mat, Michelle rubs her hands together like one does after a job well done, running the ropes and looking to baseball slide Melina out of the ring. Melina, however, plays Jerry to Michelle’s Tom, hoisting herself out of the way just in time, letting Michelle go flying out of the ring. Though, I’m not sure what kind of mouse has that type of leg strength..
Expect to see a new Diva or two on SmackDown in the near future. We’re told that WWE officials are looking to put a few more Divas on the brand, to “fill it out.” That is how it was put to Diva Dirt by one source. Names mentioned included moving the Bella Twins back to … Read more
Last time on SmackDown: Michelle confronts Maria backstage, again warning her against Dolph. Later, Maria & Eve took on Natalya & Layla, with Eve getting the pin on Layla.
This week: Is the Dolph saga heading for a plot twist? How about the Melina/Michelle feud–is it going to reclaim the spotlight after being relatively nonexistent last week?
This is getting to be a set-in pattern, as we once again start the show with a backstage segment. We see the lovely and talented Dolph Ziggler walking up to the Divas locker room door. Michelle approaches him and turns on the charm. He says he’s looking for Maria, and she offers to help, knocking on the door. Oh.. This might get good:
Layla answers the knock, opening the door. Signs of a coordinated attack begin to surface as Michelle asks Layla if Maria’s in the room. She says no, and looks to leave the scene. Michelle, trying to look as enticing as is possible while one is hobbling on a crutch, asks him what he sees in Maria, wondering why he could be with a “ditzy little girl” like her when he could be with a “sexy woman” like herself. She veers off her crutch and Dolph catches her, allowing Michelle to get a handful or 5 of his ass. In the distance, we can see Layla taping the whole thing on her cellphone. He pushes Michelle against the door, rejecting the advance and repeating “No. No No.”. He leaves, and Layla shows Michelle what she got on her phone. Michelle deems it “perfect”. Uh oh.. Does GTV have a modern counterpart?
On the wrestling side of things, Melina makes her way to the ring, seemingly oblivious to what has recently gone on. One has to wonder how Maria will react to that footage, and what that means for her friendship with Melina. Something tells me shouting “I told ya so!!!” isn’t Melina’s style. Layla, accompanied by Michelle, makes her entrance, and we’ve got a match:
Layla gets to an aggressive start, kneeing Melina and latching her into a headlock. Melina shoves her into the ropes, and on the return Layla shoulder-strikes her onto the mat. Layla bounces off the ropes, leaps over Melina’s prone body, and bounces off the other side of the ring. Melina makes her own leap, getting some air as she launches over Layla, who reaches the ropes for a 3rd time and gets hit with a flapjack delivered by Melina. Dizzy yet?
Last time on SmackDown:Melina and Layla went toe-to-toe with Michelle again standing at ringside, this time with crutches and a knee brace. Another rough shove by Melina leaves Michelle writhing in agony.
This week: Is there retribution in the cards for Michelle? Or will she let her “understudy” do the talking/walking? What about Maria–will she continue to play the damsel in distress?
Once again we start this week’s action with a backstage segment pilfered from the daytime soaps. And what else could it be about but Maria‘s woes? I personally can’t wait to see what epic twist the story takes this week! Fake pregnancy? Evil twin? Elaborately orchestrated death? Well, at the very least, I hope someone wears an eye patch..
We see Maria and Eve in the locker room, discussing tonight’s match. Maria tells Eve that all they need to do is go in there with a lot of confidence and passion, because when you don’t have talent, a whole mess o’ confidence will solve all your problems. (Though maybe having a scheme of selling broke-ass calendars with self-indulgent and hokey slogans for $25 wouldn’t hurt either..) Michelle takes the layup that Maria tosses her way, and shows up to remark, “..and you’ll still be losers.” Michelle tears down Maria’s makeup and passion for rhinestones, saying that no matter what she does, Dolph won’t keep his eyes off of other women, like her. (OMG, is that a hint of a twist? Probably not.) She says that Maria is nothing but his “flavor of the week”. (Damn, this has been the longest week of my life..) Maria counters, calling Michelle the most egotistical Diva on the roster.
Melina appears out of nowhere (Seriously, was there a door over there?), but Maria tells her that she’s got in under control. But one insult later, Melina gets in Michelle’s face, and Michelle threatens legal action if she even lays a finger on her. Obviously not interested in filing legal papers just yet, Michelle leaves before things can unravel. Melina apologizes on her behalf, but Maria tells her to stay out of her business. I couldn’t agree more with that sentiment–let’s all stay out of her business! No? Okay..
Last time on SmackDown:Michelle made her return, sitting at ringside as Melina & Maria defeated Layla & Natalya. No physicality form Michelle other than a shove onto the keister by Melina.
This week: Will Michelle step up into a more physical role, or is she still sidelined? Will the WWE even acknowledge her injury? Will Maria grace us with another mind-blowing in-ring performance? Let’s dive in and see!
This week’s Diva action starts off much like it has in the past few weeks (the “Michelle-less weeks”, as I like to call them). Even though Michelle’s back and we have an actual wrestling storyline to promote, Maria is still having problems with Dolph, the part-time wrestler, part-time C-Grade porn star. Melina mentions something about “going around in circles”, and I think that describes this storyline pretty well–it’s like a dog chasing its tail, always with some sliver of a harebrained goal, but never quite reaching it. But even the dog gives up eventually, so we’ll have to wait and see if this actually plays out.
Okay, enough with the mixed metaphors. Maria seems pretty frustrated with Melina, asking her why she can’t just be happy for her. Maybe because, with this Dolph thing, you’re fixing to drive into a brick wall? Maybe Melina should just say “Bon voyage!” and send you on your way. Melina explains that she saw Dolph with another woman after SummerSlam. (Are you sure he wasn’t just looking into a mirror? Dude’s pretty feminine-looking.) Maria pulls out the old “Mean Girls” argument, telling Melina that she’s probably just jealous of her. Melina tells her she’s sorry and splits, just as Dolph comes up. He tells Maria that the woman he was with was his sister. (OMG, maybe she looks exactly like him but with a longer blonde wig. I’d pay to see that.) Maria believes it, of course, and we’re set for another few weeks of captivating drama. UNTIL NEXT WEEK, on “The Young & the Shitty Wrestlers”.
Watch the segment below, then skip to 4:40 to see the subsequent match:
Now that we’ve got the backstage portion of the show out of the way, we have an actual match to get to (Please excuse the male match in between on the video–don’t they know that all male matches are glorified piss breaks? They’re not even real wrestlers!) Michelle has made her way to the ring and she’s on crutches! Shit. She takes the microphone and explains that due to Melina’s brutal attack last week, she’s got an injured knee. What a coincidence! She says she’s not medically cleared to wrestle and shouldn’t even be standing on it (Probably shouldn’t be wearing sky-high heels either.. Just sayin’.) She says that Melina ruined the night. Thanks a lot, Melina! God, what a bitch!
But seriously, Michelle’s mic work is definitely improving–she works the crowd, and plays the arrogant heel role pretty well. All she needs to work on is her lack of inflection due to her strong southern accent. She goes on to introduce Melina’s opponent for the night, whom she describes as a dear friend: Layla! As she makes her entrance, Todd describes her as Michelle’s “understudy” of sorts, and I have to admit that she’s not a terrible replacement–you could certainly do worse. Melina comes to the ring, and we can start the mach. They start with a tie-up, which Melina dominates into a pin attempt. No cigar, and Layla takes the advantage, tweaking Melina’s arm and kicking her in the gut for good measure, keeping a tight hold on the arm. Melina breaks free with a kick of her own, delivers an irish-whip that is reversed into the corner, and meets a charging Layla with two feet to the face. (Whoa, did the WWE pipe in that reaction? Damn.) Melina takes Layla down with a leap from the top rope, and sells her left ankle, which always seems to be giving her trouble.
This week, we were promised the return of one Michelle McCool, Women’s Champion and recent victim of a knee injury. The details of her return were kept mum, so in what capacity will we see Michelle, if at all? Let’s watch and see if she turns up:
On the cards is a tag team match, teaming up Melina and her tag team partner (who we can only assume beat Eve in a coin flip) Maria. Going up against them will be Layla, Melina opponent last week, and Natalya, a Diva whom the WWE seemingly can’t decide if they want to wrestle or manage. This week, luckily, she’s on in-ring duty.
But who oh who makes the first entrance? Michelle! She makes her way (Gingerly? I couldn’t tell.) to the announcers’ table and takes a seat next to JR and Todd Grisham. We’ll see if they acknowledge her absence or just ignore the giant blonde hobbling elephant in the room. Melina and Maria then make a tandem entrance, and I wonder if Michelle visits Diva Dirt, because her first words on the duo express my sentiments exactly (“What is Maria wearing?!”). Gotta dig deeper than the obvious with these insults, Michelle.
A few more fashion-based insults pegged at Maria (Seriously, someone check Michelle’s browser history.), and Michelle shows a bit more charisma. Now, she’s not Trish Stratus or anything, but I sense some improvement. She just needs to work of her inflection and not sound dead-bored when speaking on the mic. As Layla and Natalya make their entrance, Michelle expresses some fondness towards who Todd describes as her “message girl”. Michelle refutes that claim, insisting that these past few weeks were just a vacation for her. Okay, so I guess the injury may not be as serious as once thought? You know, since they’re skirting around the issue and all..
You might have noticed that I decided to forgo a Redux last week, as there was no match on the show, and analyzing a mere backstage segment with no real bearing on the women’s division would be akin to giving G.I. Joe a thorough character analysis–there just ain’t no point. However, this week’s SmackDown started off quite inauspiciously with what else but another MARIA-CENTERED BACKSTAGE SEGMENT!!!! *cue Psycho theme* Jump to the 1:00 mark to watch:
I feel silly for really “reviewing” this, but I figure it might lead to something eventually, so I’ll just go for it. Maria‘s gushing about Dolph, and Melina smiles, playing the supportive friend. It feels so strange to see her even care, since I’m so conditioned to her nasty heel attitude. At this point, I’d kill for her bitch side to take over–it’d keep segments like these to a minimum.
And just as I pray for daylight, Layla comes in to save the day. She plays the catty heel pretty well (“YAYYYYY FOR LOVE!”) and, like Melina did last week, warns Maria against Dolph, for for much different reasons. Apparently, the glorified Oompah Loompah twin is a hot commodity backstage, and Maria may not be hot enough to hold him. And shifting to more important matters, Layla delivers a message to Melina: Michelle will be back next week. It’s kind of funny, though, because it’s a minuscule version of what I suggested they do with Melina/Michelle/Layla earlier this week. Melina seems unenthused at the news, but I’m doing backflips. Melina tells Layla that she has a message for Layla to send back to Michelle, and she’ll give it to her in the ring. OH, IT’S ON NOW!
Spoilers for this Friday’s SmackDown are online. The show will air August 7th. Highlight below to read:
*Backstage, Maria and Melina talked about Maria’s relationship with Dolph. Melina said she was happy for Maria but she hears bad things about Ziggler in the locker room. Maria says the Dolph in the ring isn’t how he is outside of it and he treats her good. Melina said she was happy for her but to be careful. [Source: PWInsider.com]
Diva Dirt reader Rob sent along the following live report from the show. As it hasn’t aired yet, it’s in spoiler tags, so please highlight to read: I attended this match and noticed a few things. It was a very short match. I don’t think it lasted 3 minutes, if that. The ring entrances and … Read more
Everyone’s favourite Londoner turned Miami Heat dancer turned WWE Diva, Layla also made an appearance as part of last night’s SmackDown — well the online edition anyway, in “SmackDown After the Bell.” This week’s After the Bell saw Layla confront Ricky Ortiz for interrupting her last week and shows off some of her comedy chops: … Read more
Minor spoiler image for this Friday’s episode of SmackDown, as the gorgeous Layla returns to her Miami Heat roots this week. The show emanates from the American Airlines Arena, the home of the Heat, where Layla made her name as a dancer and earned an NBA championship ring. As you can see above, Layla returns … Read more
It’s unanimous that the ‘Trump Trade’ two weeks ago helped beef up Monday Night Raw, gaining the services of two Diva Dirt favourites, Alicia Fox and Gail Kim. Meanwhile, it’s becoming clearly evident that SmackDown is now suffering due to the lack of Divas available — case in point, we pretty much saw the same … Read more
These shows air next week, on July 9th and 10th respectively. Next week’s ECW is pre-empted and airs on Thursday at 7pm ET. ECW Nikki Bella def. Katie Lea SmackDown Melina & Eve Torres def. Michelle McCool & Layla
This week’s SmackDown spoilers are below. Show airs on Friday night. Check back to Diva Dirt on Friday for our Redux! Melina & Maria def. Layla & Michelle McCool. Melina pinned Layla after the inverted leg drop.
