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Beth Phoenix

Beth Phoenix Undergoes Successful Surgery

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The Glamazon, Beth Phoenix underwent surgery at 7am ET this morning and has tweeted, presumably from her hospital bed, that she is doing fine and that the surgery was successful. She writes: “All done!! They said they used extra parts from RoboCop’s knee surgery and spare tissue from a Liger [sic]. I feel great!!” Beth … Read more

Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week of May 10th, 2010

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Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great) • Bland (Iffy) • Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Beth Phoenix’s Lady in Red
Grade: Sweet.  Beth Phoenix may have had a short stint as the current reigning Women’s Champion, but at least she left a pretty decent photshoot in her wake!  This attire is possibly the most appealing Beth has in her repertoire.  Luckily, the red-and-black combination photographs just as well as it looks on television.  A couple of the poses are more imaginative than your typical stone-faced vogue-ing.  These bits of playfulness and cheerfulness show a different (and more pleasant) side to the Glamazon.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Natalya’s Change of Hart Grade: Bland. The title of this photoshoot may serve to be ironic as there appears to be little to no variety between Natalya’s photos.  This is your typical series featuring Natalya donning her Hart badge of honor.  It is not quite ‘sour’ as she earns points for consistency (not to mention color coordination)!  However, what Natalya’s portfolio could use is a little less pink and a little bit more imagination.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

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Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes – Issue #6

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The bartender could tell something was wrong.  “You doing OK, man?”

I just kept shaking my head and staring at the ground in disbelief.  Finally I said “Man, this started out as such a perfect night…” but it was barely loud enough for him to hear.

“What’s the matter dude?  You’re in New Orleans…laissez le bon temps rouler!”  I wanted to have fun, I wanted to “let the good times roll”, but instead I felt like I just got “coups de pied dans les noix.” (Translation – if you’re a guy that hurts.)

Seriously, it should have been a perfect night.  I was strolling around Bourbon Street drinking a cold beer, the weather was beautiful and life was good.   No problems at home, the job was fine, and Beth was the WWE Women’s Champion (I have always contended we are co-holders of the title, but that’s just a technicality).  Then I thought I’d jump into a local bar, grab a refill, and check the Diva Dirt SmackDown spoilers.  Just wanted to make sure my girl was still the champ after the Tuesday night tapings.  Then I read the news… a 2-on-1 title match, Vickie’s back, a confusing ending, Michelle or Layla wearing the belt… what?!?!  All I knew was that Beth wasn’t the champion anymore and I felt like my heart would explode from my chest.  Not so much because she lost the title…but because I knew what this really meant – something was seriously wrong with her knee.  “OH MERDE!” (Translation – very, very not good!)

The bartender said, “Hey, umm, can I get you a beer?”

I put my head in my hands and said, “Nah, I’ll take a Johnny Daniels over ice.”

“You mean Jack Daniels, right?”

I looked at him and mumbled, “He may be Jack to you, but when you’ve known him as long as I have…”

The bartender poured the drink and said, “Wow, you must really be upset about something.”

“You don’t understand, man, it wasn’t supposed to go down like this…I didn’t even get to write my Extreme Rules column yet.” Being that we were in New Orleans, lord knows what the bartender thought that meant.  But I thought I had a few weeks you know?  I wanted to be able to let the moment sink in and then write a coherent, entertaining column about one of the most exciting nights of my life.  Now, the moment had passed, Beth had a severe knee injury, and Baltimore, MD seemed like a 100 years ago.  The bartender said, “OK, then this one is on the house, you look pretty bummed out.  Decu dans le Big Easy.” (Translation – I’m the only loser in New Orleans not having fun.)  I looked back down at the floor and just kept thinking, “Did I jinx her?  In some cosmic supernatural way did writing that stupid column about Melina’s injury cause Beth to blow out her knee?!”  I don’t know. 

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SmackDown Redux (May 14th, 2010): Layla, You’ve Got Us on Our Knees

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Having followed Layla from the beginning of her WWE career all those years ago during the WWE Diva Search, I always saw a certain something in her — I just felt that this girl was something special. Here at Diva Dirt, we’ve championed her for pretty much all of our existence; from her fashion sense, to her ever-improving in-ring skills and the personality that she easily oozes into her matches and skits. Never however, did I think I’d see the day that she’d hold the same belt that has been held by greats such as Trish, Lita and Victoria — especially not this soon.

It’s been a topsy-turvy week for the SmackDown brand; the Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix injured during last week’s taping and this week, the whole landscape of the brand was turned on its head. Watch below:

The segment opens with Rosa Mendes in the ring for a match with the homecoming queen, the Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix appearing before her hometown crowd in Buffalo, New York. The Glamazon gets an amazing response from the crowd… just wow. I don’t think I’ve heard a response like that for a Diva in years! There is some emphasis put on the fact that Beth was hurt during her match with Rosa last week on WWE Superstars, including a close-up on her Tara-like knee brace. Beth is ready to face Rosa but out comes Vickie Guerrero who reveals two things: A) that she is still the Official Consultant of SmackDown despite being the new Raw General Manager and B) that Beth will have to defend her Women’s Championship right now against Michelle McCool who has invoked her rematch clause — but it will also be a handicap match with Layla also in the match. Err, what was the point in having Rosa on the show in the first place? Surely, Vickie could’ve come out first, made her speech and then Beth could have come out? I guess it’s a case of any excuse to get a pretty face on the show…

Out come Team Lay-Cool who mock Beth’s knee injury as the make their way down the ramp. The match begins and we are told that this will be a tornado rules match with both Layla and Michelle in the ring at the same time. Michelle is the first to go after Beth, going right at Beth’s injured knee with a kick and then clubbing her across the back. Michelle applies a side headlock which Beth soon breaks free of and whips Michelle into the ropes and barges her down to the canvas. Meanwhile from behind, Layla is ready for some action but Beth turns around just in time and Layla walks into a clothesline.

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Beth Phoenix Suffers Torn ACL

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Unfortunately it’s not good news for WWE Women’s Champion, Beth Phoenix. The Glamazon has been diagnosed with a torn ACL after suffering an injury at last week’s SmackDown tapings in a match against Rosa Mendes. It had been hoped that the injury was a minor ankle injury and Beth was taken off last week’s Mexican … Read more

SmackDown Redux Does WWE Superstars (May 6th, 2010): Introducing Marosa

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I know what you’re thinking, who the hell is Marosa? It became evident watching last night’s episode of WWE Superstars that feisty Latina, Rosa Mendes is trying to remodel herself as SmackDown’s answer to the French poodle Maryse — complete with a bilingual promo. Where have we seen that before? Oh wait, just this past Monday on Raw… albeit in French. So, in case you haven’t already deduced: Maryse + Rosa = Marosa. In her first appearance as a SmackDown Diva — on Superstars — Marosa took on her former mentor, the Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix.

But before the match, we got a backstage segment between Kelly Kelly & Team Lay-Cool which nicely sets up a tag team match for tonight’s SmackDown. Watch below:

It looks as though Lay-Cool have picked their next target, having already picked on Mickie James and Beth Phoenix, branding Kelly ‘Smelly Kelly’. Kelly actually speaks! Not that you would know from watching her on Raw for the past two years. It was nice to see her being able to actually be part of a segment and I thought she did a good job here with Layla and Michelle. Enter Vickie Guerrero and the two pin her down as Vickie sprays her. This results in Kelly screaming at Vickie, calling her the ‘official cow’ which was pretty hilarious and almost matched Maryse clocking Eve with the Divas Title on Raw. Now enter the Glamazon who clears house along with Tiffany. Not a bad little segment, it’s rare to see something like this on Superstars.

Next up we have Beth Phoenix vs Rosa Mendes. Beth comes out first followed by Rosa who makes a really peppy entrance. I had called for Rosa to move to SmackDown in the Diva Draft feature and this is part of the reason why. She may not be a good wrestler, but she does have some personality that I think WWE could utilise. However, it becomes evident that the personality they want Rosa to show is Maryse’s… Rosa cuts a promo in Spanish and English, introducing herself and telling Beth that she’ll soon beat Beth for the title. “Adios Glamazon,” she says and I don’t know why but it made me laugh. Rosa then beats the microphone against Beth’s chest a few times, almost taunting her — resulting in the announcers calling her ‘muy loco’. Rosa definitley showed some personality and flare here.

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Beth Phoenix Pulled from Mexico Tour

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WWE Women’s Champion, Beth Phoenix has been pulled from the SmackDown tour of Mexico following an in-ring injury at Tuesday night’s WWE Superstars taping, reports the Wrestling Observer Newsletter. Though Phoenix insisted on her Twitter page that she is fine, it looks as though there is more to the story as Beth was scheduled to … Read more

Mr. Glamazon’s Hitting the Ropes – Issue #4

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You never forget the sound.  Never.  When your knee snaps and you know something is terribly wrong, your body immediately goes ice cold and the sound — more like a short crumble when you smash a soda can — is forever a part of your life.  It can make you sick to think about even long after your knee is healed.  And let me tell you, you can never, ever, ever watch a knee injury on TV without feeling physically ill.  I blew out my left knee in December 2002, a complete tear of the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL).  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t hear the sound.  Unfortunately, now Melina can hear that sound too.

You become members of a strange fraternity.  As soon as you hear somebody is recovering from knee surgery you immediately ask: “So how did you do it?”   Then you tell the person the details of your own experience.  It is almost like comparing war stories.  The conversation is always the same:

“Yeah, I tore my knee up pretty good last winter.”
“Complete ACL tear?”
“Yeah”
“How did they fix it?”
“Used a cadaver…”
“Huh…I blew mine out 2 summers ago…basketball injury…chose the hamstring.”
“How’s it feel now?”
“Pretty good…hurts when it rains.”

Both people chuckle.

The recent rash of injuries to female wrestlers has been jarring.  Melina tore her ACL, Daffney suffered a bruised sternum, Mickie James had a serious staph infection, Angelina Love tore her ulnar collateral ligament, and SHIMMER star LuFisto suffered a stroke, all in the span of a few months.  And these are just the injuries that got reported.  Each and every wrestler is probably working with aches and pains that most of us would use as a reason to call in sick.  There is extreme pressure to perform even when not 100%, and combined with the increased physicality of the sport (i.e. high spots, ladders, tables, etc), serious injuries are likely to occur.  These are trained professionals but obviously accidents can happen.  Remember, just months after her debut, Beth Phoenix broke her jaw and needed reconstructive surgery causing her to miss close to a year of action.  (Hard to believe she has 12 screws in her jawbone.  That surgeon deserves a medal.)

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SmackDown Redux (April 30th, 2010): Blue is Kelly’s Colour

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New SmackDown Diva, Kelly Kelly proved lucky on her debut on the brand this week, teaming with new Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix against Team Lay-Cool. The young Diva who was drafted to the blue brand during Monday’s WWE Draft was firmly in the spotlight picking up the victory over Layla. Watch below:

With Michelle McCool and Layla already in the ring, out comes the new WWE Women’s Champion and boy, is it good to see her with that belt! Next we get a special announcement before Kelly comes out with Tony Chimel announcing the newest Diva on the SmackDown roster. Hmm, pretty sure there was no such announcement last year when Melina arrived and she was Women’s Champ. It was however, a nice touch that made you feel like Kelly coming to SmackDown is a big deal — in the words of Kristin Astara, “Fake it till you make it.” Even though we all know Kelly isn’t the best worker, it’s nice to see that WWE cares enough about a Diva to kind of make them a bigger deal than they are and make them feel special.

Kelly kicks things off against an extremely fresh opponent in Michelle McCool. I can’t think of a time when I’ve ever seen these two wrestle even in one of those inter-brand tag matches so this seemed fresh and new which is the whole point of the Draft. McCool immediately side-steps Kelly, wrapping her arms around her from behind and drives her into the turnbuckles before hitting her with a back elbow and stomping into her. Michelle then pushes Kelly taunting her, saying “Come on.” Kelly does, shoving McCool right back. McCool does not take kindly to this and knees Kelly in the midsection. Michelle whips Kelly against the ropes, Kelly comes back with her tilt-a-whirl headscissors complete with scream on the former Women’s Champ — Michelle sells this really well. Kelly then hits a clothesline and runs at Michelle hitting her with a hurricanrana. Didn’t we just see a headscissors? Regardless, it gets a big pop. Kelly now goes for a pin but McCool kicks out.

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Extreme Rules in Review: ‘Extreme Makeover: McCool Edition’

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Extreme Rules is done and over with, and the mixed reviews continue to pour in. Last night, each and every one of us were able to watch the first ever Extreme Makeover Match which starred the reigning WWE Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool, and the lovely, beautiful Beth Phoenix. These two talented Divas fought within the confines of the match regulations and delivered one of the best diva matches we’ve had in awhile. Michelle’s cohorts and resident SmackDown mean girls, Layla and Vickie Guerrero, would make their presence felt, and as the match reached it’s crescendo we all watched as the Phoenix rose again. When the dust settled and the smoke cleared, Beth Phoenix was crowned the ultimate Queen of the WWE once again and Simply Flawless were sent limping to the back with their heads bowed down in silent defeat.

Before the match begins, the WWE gives us a close up of the make-up table and the so-called weapons that are going to make this match extreme. Michelle McCool and her Simply Flawless stablemates make their way to the ring first. Michelle does this unnecessary dance at the top of the ramp before she begins to saunter down to the ring. It’s not as if we were able to see her walk to the ring because the ‘E decided to get in a sponsor announcement but hey, at least they didn’t go to commercial a la TNA. Michelle and Layla are matching and Vickie is sporting some sexy mom jeans that didn’t have an elastic waist thus making me wonder if they were even mom jeans at all?

As the Vickie insults start to fly thanks to our wonderful broadcast team, the Glamazon’s theme music hits and Beth receives a massive pop as she makes her way onto the stage. As always, the shapely blonde looks gorgeous and her face reads of nothing but absolute confidence as she stalks down to the ring. As tonight’s “Buffet of Beauty” waits to get underway, Beth poses to the crowd while Laycool plus Vickie try to not look that effected. When things settle down, the referee holds the championship up for everyone to see and then calls for the bell. Michelle and Beth circle one another before locking up and jockeying for position. Beth forces Michelle to the ropes and the ex-teacher slips between them temporarily. Beth doesn’t break the hold but Michelle does get the advantage and nails the Glamazon right in the face. Beth staggers back and Michelle follows it up with a kick, an uppercut, and a whip into the turnbuckle. Beth jumps on the ropes, over a charging Michelle, and rolls her up for a quick pin. Michelle is out after the one count, but the match is off to a fantastic start.

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SmackDown Redux (April 23rd, 2010): Ironing Out the Details for Extreme Rules

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Before this Sunday’s big Women’s Championship bout between Michelle McCool and Beth Phoenix, McCool and her Simply Flawless teammates literally ironed out the details for the match on SmackDown this week. Also, who knew that this would end up being Mickie James’ final appearance on WWE television? It’s a very interesting week for the blue brand. Watch below:

First comes the announcement of an ‘Extreme Makeover’ match between Michelle and Beth for this Sunday. What is an ‘Extreme Makeover’ match? Beats me. But I guess we’ll find out Sunday. Just as long as there’s no vanity mirror with light bulbs around it and the Divas aren’t forced to dress in feathered robes like this, I’m good.

So after months of waiting for this tag team match, it’s finally here — Beth and Mickie James versus Michelle and Layla with Vickie on the outside. It seems like this match itself has been months in the making, let alone the Women’s Championship bout. I was really looking forward to seeing a relationship develop between Phoenix and James so it’s weird to think this will be their one and only appearance together as a team.

The match begins with Layla and Phoenix, Layla smartly runs around Beth and applies a side headlock on the Glamazon but is then hoisted in the air and twirled around by the forceful #1 Contender. Layla begins to find her ground, reapplying the headlock but is picked up again and dropped by Beth Phoenix. Beth runs at Layla, who kicks her in the leg, followed by a kick. Layla then irish whips herself off the ropes, as McCool blind tags herself in, and runs at Beth who catches her by the legs. Layla is locked into a giant swing by Beth but in comes Michelle who for some reason, jumps over Layla and then gets hit with a back elbow by Beth. Not even sure what’s going on here. Beth then picks up Layla in a lateral press position, hoisting her above her head but is kicked in the back of the leg by Michelle and ends up falling to her knees. McCool then works over the leg and goes for a pin but to no avail.

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Divas Stipulation Revealed for Extreme Rules

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The Australian airing of SmackDown reveals that Beth Phoenix and Michelle McCool will meet in an ‘Extreme Makeover’ match this Sunday at Extreme Rules. One Diva Dirt reader emailed in the following: In the preview the backdrop was pink and glittery so I’m assuming maybe some with makeup everywhere and clothes etc. I guess we … Read more

SmackDown Redux (April 16th, 2010): Michelle & Mickie Are Simply Flawless

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Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool and her now former rival, Mickie James dusted off their heated feud for one more outing this week on an edition of SmackDown from London. And the result was perhaps one of the best Divas matches on TV so far this year. It’s no secret that Michelle has rarely wrestled a singles match on SmackDown in the past few months but I guess an international TV taping is a good a reason as any. Watch below:

So, Mickie is back from her little hiatus due to injury and she’s back in the ring with the woman who took the Women’s Championship from her back in February. Despite having surgery and everything, Mickie was on fine form as she skipped and hopped to the ring for her match followed by McCool with Layla and Vickie Guerrero in tow.

The former Women’s Champion gives McCool a little sly wink as she steps onto the ring apron for her signature pose, suggesting that she has not forgotten any of the animosity between them. As the bell rings and the match begins, the two Divas lock up but it’s Michelle who gets the better of the exchange, using her leverage to hit sort of an overhead throw on her. The arrogant champion then segues into press ups which become one-legged press ups, as Layla and Vickie cheer her on. Much to her surprise though, Mickie drops down opposite her and struts her stuff too leading to a nice showdown. Michelle looks surprised and confused as she says, “I didn’t know she could do that” to the crowd. Best to keep your eyes on your opponent Michelle, as James hit a great low dropkick on the champ and goes for the pin but no three count. Mickie goes for another pin attempt, this time sweeping the legs and jumping into a bridge but Michelle kicks out yet again.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of April 5th, 2010

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Divas beware, we judge what you wear! Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury. We compile the looks from the week gone by and mark each look on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the scoring, we work out the combined score for each look and the Diva with the highest combined score is our winner and the Diva with the lowest combined score is our loser. Click each image to see it full-sized.

A few rules: We only judge outfits/ring attire that we haven’t judged before or we have already seen several times on TV before. If a Diva is seen in more than one outfit in any given week, we mark them as ‘#1’, ‘#2’ and so forth.

As Steven is in Berwyn for SHIMMER, joining us this week as a special guest is John Canton from our family site TheJohnReport.net. He says: “Thanks to Melanie for the invite. I’m a closet Style Jury fan. I’m a straight male that loves women, but also has opinions on fashion because I was raised mostly by my two older sisters since our parents worked so much. I was also told by my dad that “the shorter the dress, the better…most of time” and those are words to live by, quite frankly. Style Jury combines two of my favorite pastimes: staring at women and writing. Now I’m doing both at once! I should add that it’s a shame we’re not writing about Mickie or Maryse since they’re my two favorites. Bad luck for me.”

So, let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Cryssi: On a night where the fashion made me die a little inside, Alicia managed to look the best and that’s not saying a whole lot. I wasn’t a huge fan of this dress but at least she managed to match her shoes to it which is a great achievement seeing as how the other divas mostly failed in this area. Small victories. 7/10
Erin: I know I’ve blasted animal print on dresses before (Rosa and Tiffany at the Hall of Fame), but this dress isn’t meant to be formal, as those were. The print suits this dress so much more because of that; it’s short, shiny, and works well on Alicia’s body. The colors are nice too–no tacky blue–and the print is able to dominate the dress without competing with various cutouts and necklines, so it doesn’t look like some busted prom dress. From the print to the color to the cut, this is a perfect look for Alicia. 9/10
John: Incredibly fit woman that can pull anything off, really. I like how short this dress was although that walk she does bothers me. It looks like an older woman with a broken hip or something. I know it’s a “sassy walk with attitude” but you need to get that checked out, girl. 7/10
Melanie: Absolutely gorgeous! This dress fits Alicia perfectly and complements her skin too. She really does look like a million bucks. I really like the detailing on the dress too… yes, it looks like bee stripes but personally, I didn’t see that until it was pointed out on Raw. I saw a fashionable, sexy dress. Perhaps one of my favourite Alicia looks ever. 10/10

THE BELLA TWINS
Cryssi: How shocking. They both wore red. These looks are basically identical except one has some fancy little crystal-esque designs on her dress. Neither of these looks are special and it’s to early in the morning for me to try and tell them apart. 5/10
Erin: The shape of Brie’s dress suits her really well, and I like that she keeps it simple and lets it work on its own. For once, the flower in the hair doesn’t look out of place. It’s a very simple but lovely look, and I can always appreciate when a Diva shows restraint when trying to look sexy. Nikki’s is almost identical to Brie’s look, but with detailing at the top. I loved the simplicity of Brie’s dress, and this dress lacks that. I feel that the Christmas tinsel-like detailing could be lost, and as Brie’s dress proves, it would be better without it. 6/10
John: Doesn’t matter what they wear, they always have that “wholesome” image to me. It’s fine, but they don’t scream sexy to me often enough. Their dresses were just okay. They have nice figures, so they can work anything they want. 7/10
Melanie: I think the Bellas looked prettier than they usually do in these red dresses but frankly, I think there’s far too much material here. I think they should have opted for something more form-fitting that shows off their bodies. This is just like a homecoming dress. 5/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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SmackDown Redux Does WWE Superstars (April 8th, 2010): From Fat Jokes to Man Jokes

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The SmackDown Divas this week were relegated to WWE Superstars for reasons that I can’t quite fathom. For one, the WWE Women’s Champion Michelle McCool has been a huge staple of the show for the past couple of years and also, Vickie Guerrero is another big selling point. Seems odd that they’d move the Divas segment from SmackDown to Superstars when such key players are involved. I guess we needed more time on SmackDown for the dissolution of Cryme Tyme, who coincidentally, spend more time on WWE Superstars than most. Nonetheless, this segment felt exactly like it would on SmackDown — it was given plenty of time and the Divas were given promos which is somewhat unusual for this show. So while I am a little confused as to why it wasn’t on the main show, it works just as well.

This week, the gear was turned up on the whole ‘Glam-a-man’ situation as Simply Flawless, lead by Michelle McCool, made their way down to the ring and out-and-out called Beth Phoenix a man. They had been planting the seeds for this direction prior to WrestleMania with the ‘Glam-a-man?’ t-shirts but as I mentioned last week in the Redux, it looks as though they are pressing ‘restart’ on this feud due to the yearly obstacle that is ‘Mania, which hinders rather than helps the Divas storylines as they have to be put on the show en masse with the Raw Divas also. Watch this week’s segment below:

First up on the mic is the heat magnet herself, Vickie Guerrero who then introduces us to the Women’s Champion, McCool who informs us that Beth Phoenix is a man. Great. More of WWE’s immature ‘potty humour’. The fat jokes with Mickie were just the start I take it. It’s a shame that every Diva feud must boil down to such elementary, vain things such as who’s sexier, who’s fatter, who looks manly etc. It just portrays the Divas as being high school bitches and not the intelligent women we know they are. Michelle McCool is in fact a very intelligent woman and dumbing her down with this character just seems silly to me. I could buy her as being a cold, calculating, meticulous heel who uses her brains instead of her brawn but that would be far too complicated to script apparently. Instead, the Divas must be dumbed down and enforce stereotypes. It’s evident that WWE doesn’t actually believe the Divas are smart as they would like us to believe with their ‘Smart, Sexy & Powerful’ slogan. Anyway, I digress. The acting here is pretty standard fare for Lay-Cool but they do it well, particularly Layla.

Vickie Guerrero announces that as a result of the new information that ‘Beth is a man’ she will have an intergender match against Layla. Out comes a super pissed off Beth Phoenix who avoids her regular entrance and marches to the ring with authority — nice touch. It sells that she’s annoyed and has no time for the happy, smiley Glamazon pose at the top of the ramp.

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SmackDown Redux (April 2nd, 2010): Is This a Rerun?

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With WrestleMania and those pesky Raw Divas getting in the way of actual storyline progression for SmackDown  just when it was getting good, it seems as though the writers of the blue brand have pressed the ‘reset’ button. Watching this week’s show, you’d be forgiven if you feel like you’re watching a rerun, because that’s exactly what it felt like. If you skip this week’s show, which obviously you aren’t because you’re reading this, you’d honestly not be missing anything because everything is as it was two weeks ago — even the match. There was nothing new to learn coming out this week’s show: Beth Phoenix still wants the Women’s Championship, Vickie Guerrero still has heat on her and Tiffany is still that young Diva opening our eyes to her surprisingly good in-ring ability.

In fact, the only new thing piece of information to take from this week’s show is that Vickie’s version of the frog splash is now the ‘Cougar Splash’ (Rarr!). Must-know information, I’m sure. Watch the backstage scene below:

Next up, it’s time for this week’s Divas match which is exactly the same match as two weeks ago. Funny how SmackDown only has four active Divas in the women’s division right now while Raw has like 11 and uses them for one minute each week. Can the Draft hurry up?

Watch the match below:

So for three out of three matches on television, Tiffany is wearing the same ring attire. Girlfriend is just begging for jokes about not washing her clothes and/or smelling.

McCool and Tiffany start things out with a lock-up and the Women’s Champion backs Tiffany into the corner and pushes her. She then boasts to Layla & Vickie in her corner but as she turns around, she finds a peeved Tiffany who hits her with a drop toe hold and an atomic drop. Tiffany tries to irish whip McCool into the corner, McCool reverses but she can’t move Tiffany so she instead goes for a kick to the gut. Michelle agin goes for an irish whip into the corner but Tiffany reverses and hits a one-legged variation of the monkey flip. Michelle lands in the corner and Tiffany runs at her to presumably hit a real monkey flip this time but Michelle manages to toss Tiffany who lands on her front pretty hard. Ouch!

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Raw Redux (March 29th, 2010): I Shall Never Underestimate the WWE Again

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My thoughts exactly, Mickie.

Now, that title may sound like I actually enjoyed the action from last night’s Raw, but anyone who watched the show would know that that just isn’t possible, unless you enjoy watching acute forms of torture. What I mean by the title is that, like last week, we always claim that the WWE’s treatment of the Raw Divas cannot possibly get any worse. I mean, we go from a 1-minute match to a 50-second match and many of us jokingly suggested that the WWE can do better than that–they can get the matches EVEN shorter! Needless to say, they met that challenge head on and delivered a match that somehow, by the grace of Zeus (who, by the way, I picture looking like Liam Neeson dressed in shimmering armor) was even shorter, more pointless, and an even greater waste of talent and time. Like I said, I’ll never underestimate the WWE again!

Now, getting into the specifics, we started the show with what was obviously an omen for how things were going to go. We are told that tonight, in keeping with the theme of the show, which was hosted by Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from “Hot Tub Time Machine”, we would be treated punished with a hot tub “match”. As it turns out, it was more of a hot tub contest, with the winner being the one who stayed in the hot tub the longest. Tiffany, Rosa Mendes, Brie Bella, and Nikki Bella are sporting bikinis and seated in a rather unhygienic looking hot tub with the night’s hosts.

Now, I know as well as you that the punchline is coming from a mile away–unattractive person enters the hot tub and chases the men away. But still, someone suggests that the winner get a shot at the Divas Championship. Great, because that’s just what we need! It’s been about a year since a man won a Divas-only distinction. We’re due, yes? Obviously, that was not meant to be taken seriously because, as you see, we’d then have Mark Henry challenging Maryse, and I don’t think anyone’s holding their breath in anticipation for that. Oh sorry, did I spoil the ending for you? Sorry. Watch the “contest” below and try to enjoy it regardless:

PART 1

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WrestleMania 26 in Review: Well, At Least They Got Their Payday

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Thankfully, we went into this year’s WrestleMania with rock-bottom expectations for the Divas and thus, you couldn’t exactly be disappointed. For the second year in a row, the Divas match centered around an outlandish character and ‘comedy’ rather than giving the Divas a showcase. It’s not as though this match didn’t have some talented girls in it that could have wrestled for 3-5 minutes which seems to be all the time they had for the girls, instead this became the ‘signature move melee’ that often plagues these multi-Diva tag team matches. Lazy booking to get a cheap pop. The end, with Vickie Guerrero going over with what WWE refers to as the ‘hog splash’ on Kelly Kelly, pretty much echoed what happened last year in the Miss WrestleMania battle royal. Even with fans, critics, the Divas past and present and company officials within WWE scolding last year’s trainwreck, they evidently still haven’t learnt from their mistakes.

The show opened this year more positively than last year with Vickie and company getting a backstage promo which eventually featured cameos from Jillian and an injured Melina, the first time she’s appeared on WWE TV in 2010. I can’t recall the last time, if ever, that the Divas got to cut a promo at WrestleMania but I liked that they were given some extra attention this year. I absolutely loved the facial expressions from Alicia and Maryse in the background as Jillian was singing and my eyes were totally focused on those two. It was really lovely to see Melina get to be part of ‘Mania — I had an inkling she would somehow make a cameo because Candice did last year while she was injured. There was a nice reaction when she popped up on screen too, so nice to know she hasn’t been forgotten. Let’s not even discuss Mae Young…

Next up, it was time for the Divas bout. Watch below:

First of all, out comes Team Vickie to Michelle McCool‘s music. I’m one of those people that finds entrances interesting as I believe it tells you what WWE thinks of its Divas — who the current flavour is etc. Seeing the Divas come out to McCool’s music and seeing her front and center in the lineup was no surprise. Usually, the Diva who is announced last is the one that is the ‘star’ of the team; her being announced last as the Women’s Champ, taking precedent over the Divas Champ Maryse, was again no surprise but I still found it interesting. We know WWE loves Maryse but in the long run, McCool really is becoming top dog for the Divas roster entirely. Next out are the babyfaces and anyone who listened to the After Show last night will know that I was bewildered that the babyface team came out to Eve Torres‘ music. I know she’s the current flavour of the month over on Raw but going by the fact that Beth Phoenix was the one that was front and center and announced last, which are my two tell-tale signs, why did they come out to Eve’s music? Surely they should’ve come out to Beth’s music? Nit-picking, I know and it’s hardly a big deal but still, this kind of stuff interests me and in this case, baffles me.

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PPV Predictions: WWE WrestleMania 26

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Tonight at WrestleMania, 10 Divas will be showcased at the grandest stage of them all. The team of Beth Phoenix, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly & Mickie James will take on the team of Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, Divas Champion Maryse, Alicia Fox, Layla and Vickie Guerrero. Who will come out on top? The … Read more

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