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Raw Redux (September 7th, 2009) – The Price is Wrong, Bitch!

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It was a bittersweet episode of Raw last night. On the one hand, Bob Barker was a lot of fun but on the other hand, you just knew with Barker hosting Raw most, if not all the Divas would be relegated to ‘Barker Beauties’. And lo-and-behold, that’s exactly what happened. In fact, WWE felt there weren’t enough ‘Beauties’ on Raw, they decided to import the Bella Twins from ECW — with no explanation, I might add. I guess they have to earn their paycheck somehow.

Seeing them last night made me realise just how jealous I am of them, it must feel pretty great to get paid a ton just to coast along and do little to no work. It’s not their fault however, but in an economic downturn, shouldn’t WWE be putting all their stars to work to justify their wages? The Bellas get to travel the country, look pretty, hardly ever wrestle and get paid! Like I said: jealous.

So I don’t even have anything to write about in this week’s Redux because there wasn’t a match! I think WWE’s logic is that they had two matches last week, so they can afford to skip this week. Plus with the ultimate Diva, Trish Stratus hosting Raw next week — those stupid Diva fans, they get Trish next week, that’s enough ‘Divas action’ to justify not putting them on last night. Somehow I doubt Trish will get quite as much screen time as Bob Barker did last night, though. I fear also, that next week’s Raw may be a throwaway in the Diva stakes. If Trish really were really the booker and it wasn’t scripted, one would assume she’d want to put over the Divas and give them a prominent role next week. But because Raw is scripted, the writers will probably put Trish in a match as our quota-filling Divas bout next week. Sure it’ll be nice and nostalgic to see Trish wrestle again but Raw is already in a lull and we need some semblance of storyline to break this holding pattern. Honestly, I am not expecting anything out of the norm that will champion the women’s division next week, even though the guest host is a legendary former Diva that was once part of said division. That’s WWE writers for ya…

Speaking of Trish, she is the first female guest host of Raw since the gimmick began in July. So what do you do? You tack on a much hyped guest appearance from an injured top Superstar! Because God forbid, a woman… A WOMAN… is not a big enough draw on her own. Yes Trish, not even you — the quintessential, legendary Diva — can be trusted to carry Raw on your own. Even though she has more personality than most of the past guest hosts and will be more exciting to watch than Dusty Rhodes’, Sergeant Slaughter’s, Jeremy Piven’s and Freddie Prinze Jr’s weeks combined! It just shows how much faith WWE has in a female guest host, even the most popular female wrestler of all time, can’t get a show to herself without the added Batista appearance. Don’t be surprised if over the next week, the Batista announcement gets more hype from WWE than Trish Stratus as guest host.

With Kelly, Jillian, Rosa and extra added flavour in the Bella Twins, four Divas were left off the show and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank God they were! Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim and Mickie James were given the shove last night and perhaps it was for the better. I’m actually a little surprised they decided not to use Alicia Fox when she fits the same ‘Barker Beauty’ model role they used Kelly, Rosa and the Bellas for. But I think  Alicia should be flattered and consider it a compliment, considering the company she’s in with the other Divas that got snubbed. It suggests to me that Alicia isn’t seen as a ‘model’ by WWE anymore and in my eyes, that’s a good thing. She has too much potential and talent as a wrestler to be doing double duty that kind of degrades the progress she’s making.

Anyway for the rest of this week’s Redux, I am going to critique the Divas we did see in a ‘Best & Worst Dressed’ of Raw. And in honour of Bob Barker hosting Raw, instead of ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’, I’ll use ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’. Follow the cut for more:

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Raw Redux (August 31st, 2009) – Happy Beth-day, Mickie!

Check your local weather forecast for flying pigs, folks! We’ve seen the occasional ‘two Divas matches in one night’ on SmackDown, more common we see two Knockouts matches on any given episode of Impact but Raw? Raw?! Following last week’s Vince birthday debacle, this week it was the Divas Champion’s birthday. I wonder what she wished for… Better yet, neither match was a three minute wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am affair either! Cloudy with a chance of Divas.

First up was a six Diva battle royal to determine who faced the birthday girl, Mickie James, l ater on in the night. Rather than the standard clusterf*ck we usually see, they did a good job of getting the dead weight out of the ring early and letting the ‘wrestler girls’ do what they do best.

First, the entrance — so the Divas finally get their own entrances for one of these battle royals and Gail Kim decides: “Oh no, not me… I want to be ~suppressed~ by this turgid Diva lifestyle. I have been taken away from my beloved Knockouts and have to work here just for the money. But I shan’t enjoy it! Woe is me.” So what does a girl do? She hijacks Kelly Kelly‘s entrance. It definitely looked like a miscue to me, I guess she accidentally walked out and realised she made a mistake because Kelly didn’t even see her behind her, Gail had to tap her on the shoulder. And you’ll even notice a pause from announcer, Lilian Garcia, possibly because she was surprised to see Gail come out with Kelly. “Introducing first…” Pause. “Kelly Kelly and Gail Kim.” Also interesting to note that Beth Phoenix, arguably the top heel on Raw came out second while Alicia Fox came out last. The last spot is usually reserved for the top Divas/Superstars. Maybe Gail was supposed to come out after Alicia?

Anyway that over with, let’s skip to the match: We kick off with three different matches going on at once, Beth-Kelly, Gail-Rosa, Alicia-Jillian. Kind of hard to keep track of all of this. I noticed Rosa attempting to hit some awful looking slaps Gail’s way, before being pushed into the Glamazon. Despite being her former protege, Beth is having none of that — and Rosa & her weave go flying over the top rope. After this, we see some work between Gail and Beth which is always an enticing prospect, while Kelly hits a few forearms to Jillian and Alicia. Ms Fierce kicks Kelly in the stomach and delivers a really nice ace kick, delivered much better than the one on Mickie last week. Unfortunately our girl Foxy isn’t long for this match as she’s next eliminated by Gail Kim. She’s followed by Kelly, who’s dropped out of the ring by Beth who picks her up almost as if she’s cradling a baby. In the ring, Gail and Jillian ‘hit it off’, you could say, with Jillian launching Gail into the turnbuckle, Gail moves out of the way and Jillian eats ring post. Beth attacks next, but Gail manages to fight back and has Beth against the ropes, she falls out of the ring but manages to hold on thankfully for her. Beth teeters off the apron, I like this, it reminds me of those Royal Rumble matches when people are trying to eliminate the Big Show for example and the ‘big man’ kinda teases he’s about to fall. I guess Beth is our Diva equivalent of that.

Now it’s time for what I felt was some good work between Gail Kim and veteran, Jillian. They do a little exchange, which Gail gets the best of, tossing Jillian out of the ring but again — she hangs on this time. Gail tries to finish the job, but gets tossed out herself by Jillian before sliding back in through Jilly’s legs and almost going for a rollup, err… Anyway then she misses another crossbody but good news folks! She doesn’t knock herself loopy this time. Risky move going for it in the first place though, Gail. Jillian goes for a handspring elbow but meets Gail’s knees, Jillian stumbles to the canvas and crawls around like a retarded cat. Jillian grabs hold of Gail trying to throw her over the top rope, but Gail fights back, leading into a really awkward, awful looking hurricanrana that turned into a butt bump. I don’t even…

Did Michael Cole really just call Gail ‘dead weight’? Jillian tosses Gail over the top but in HBK-esque fashion, Gail skins the cat as they say [I don’t know why]. Another amazing observation from the amazing Michael Cole: “Jillian surprised that Gail’s still alive.” That is just… wow. Gail uses her legs to hit a legscissors on Jillian who falls out of the ring… finally! Unfortunately for Gail, Beth is still in this thing and with a stiff kick, eliminates Gail and takes the win!

Good battle royal, I felt. I enjoyed the work between Jillian and Gail minus a few glaring awkward moments.

This leads to…

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The Week in Fashion: Best & Worst Dressed for August 22nd, 2009

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It’s a staple of tabloid magazines: hard hitting, investigative & highly entertaining! Best & Worst Dressed lists can make or break careers in Hollywood and for a site with ‘Dirt’ in the title, it’s only fitting we take this time tested feature & apply it to our Divas! Each week we’ll bring you the best and worst looks from the week gone by, it’s pretty simple right?

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Key: School-like grading scheme

Some okay looks this week and one standout look. Let’s examine:

The one and only Alicia Fox looked really pretty in a simple black dress. Sometimes it’s best not to overdo it. Nice stuff. C

Before getting a trash can put over her, Jillian looked rather splendid in a nice teal dress with some sequins. Nothing wrong with a bit of jazz kept in moderation. C

Moving away from the Beautiful People proved to be a blessing for Madison Rayne, going for a simpler and less trashier look on Impact. I like. C

Also on Impact, keeping things simple & casual — two words that seem to go amiss with most Knockouts/Divas is Lauren. B-

My favourite look of the week however is Michelle McCool’s ultra sleek comeback to SmackDown. Not many girls can pull off the slitted top and white pants [just ask Nikki Bella who wears the exact same outfit here] but Michelle’s slender figure and height advantage complements the outfit really well. Who knew Ms McCool was so en vogue? The top in particular is a big trend right now, most notably worn by British singer Amelle in a recent music video. A

This week’s ‘Worst’ after the cut:

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The Weekly 5: August 9th, 2009

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I’m sure you’ve all heard of your ‘five a day’, but Diva Dirt is here to provide you with your ‘five a week’ in our Weekly 5. Join us every Sunday as we take a look back at the week gone by and highlight our top 5 moments of the week.

Note: Let’s be honest, not much going on TV wise this week [Thanks SmackDown!] so I’ve decided to include some of the news stories from the week.

weekly5_5 TNA’S LOSS IS ROH’S GAIN
weekly5_roxxiFormer TNA Knockout, Nikki Roxx has been snapped up by the folks at ROH and is set to debut at their tapings later this month. The former Roxxi was unceremoniously pink-slipped earlier this year, effectively making her one of the hottest free agents until now!

Click in for #4-2 on our countdown:

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Raw Redux (August 3rd, 2009) – Creative Amnesia Strikes Again

It’s the old age tale of the WWE women’s division — ‘creative amnesia’. You know, that thing where they do something and then don’t follow it up the next week & go in a whole new direction and expect us to forget everything we saw the week before? Or if we’re lucky, they’ll expect us … Read more

An Ode to Eve: A Look at Other Diva Moonsaults (Kinda!)

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Former Diva Search winner, Eve Torres has mystified fans by adopting a unique spin on the moonsault as her finisher. When I first saw it, my jaw dropped and on the two occasions she’s busted it out, it’s been perfection! The exciting move came as a shock from such a Diva — I mean Eve’s not exactly known for her in-ring prowess. But it only takes only one move to wow fans and Eve is bound to turn heads & be taken a little more seriously with her fierce handspring moonsault.

Watch Eve’s finisher, which we’ve dubbed ‘Forbidden Fruit’ below:

So as an ode to Eve, we have collated some of the other Divas who’ve used the moonsault in their arsenal — well kinda. We didn’t get too far so we included some other moonsault-esque moves too!

Follow the cut for more:

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Where’s Waldo Jillian?

Over the past few weeks, we’ve had a lot of concern from you guys as to Jillian‘s whereabouts. But good news — or bad news for Rosa Mendes, whichever way you wanna look at it! Jillian’s back! Here’s the scoop from our friends at the Wrestling Globe Newsletter: Jillian Hall has been dealing with an … Read more

The Bash: Through the Years

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Tonight, WWE holds the 6th incarnation of it’s ‘Bash’ pay per view, a former staple of the WCW PPV calendar. Up until this year, the event had gone by the name of ‘The Great American Bash’, but in an effort to make the show more globally-friendly, it has been shortened to ‘The Bash’.

Tonight at The Bash, the Women’s Championship will be defended for only the second time at the event when Melina defends against Michelle McCool. Neither Diva is a stranger to this particular event, Melina was involved in the very first Women’s Title defence in 2007. Meanwhile, McCool’s career landmark came last year, when she became the first ever Divas Champion at this PPV.

Let us take a look through the years at the various Bash events, ahead of tonight’s big pay per view! Remember to join us for our Bash live blog from 7.45pm ET/12.45am UK!

2004
Sable vs Torrie Wilson

The first Bash pay per view was held in 2004, when WWE ressurected the event for it’s SmackDown brand. With the advertising campaign based around the brand’s top Diva, Torrie Wilson, it only made sense to put her on the card. Sable and Torrie had started out as bitter rivals in 2003 before making up to appear on the cover of Playboy together in March 2004. They even notched up a huge victory together at WrestleMania XX for the SmackDown brand. But just a few months later, they were back at each other’s throats (both on screen and in real life!) which led to this match at the Bash:

It may not have been the most technical affair, but Sable could teach our current crop of Divas a thing or two about in-ring psychology. Her heel mannerisms are resemblant of current Diva, Maryse’s. Though Sable stole a win here, Torrie would get her revenge the very next week on SmackDown.

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Jillian’s Alive, Call the Papers!

Jillian in “Her Way” We’re debuting a new format for our Eye Candy posts – complete with more detailed critiques and “graded” categories. View the photoshoot we’ve “hung” on our wall, read our critique, vote, and last but not least – sound off in the comments! The Look: Oh my God, Jillian’s alive! That thought … Read more

Audio Bulletin: Is Jillian Gone?, PPV Hopes & Impact of Victoria Rumour

Below is my first audio bulletin for Diva Dirt, in which I discuss last night’s Raw that saw Rosa Mendes usurp Jillian’s jobber position. Plus how I’m feeling confident for the Divas to get a pay per view match and the professional implication of that disgusting Victoria rumour. Please bear in mind that I sound … Read more

“Welcome to the Wax Museum, Honey – Where Nothing Ever Moves, and People Are Always Amazed at How Life-Like You Look.”

Yes, this post called for an epic-ly long title, so shush. When one looks up the word “enticing” in the dictionary (er, Dictionary.com) it is defined as, “highly attractive and able to arouse hope or desire”. This, ironically, does not capture my reaction to Jillian‘s new photoshoot, titled “Enticing in Teal”. It’s very much your … Read more

News & Notes From Tonight’s Raw

In case you missed Raw, there was a few things to note. First of all, the 5-on-5 Raw vs. SmackDown match was actually not half bad. We saw Raw’s Mickie James, Melina, Jillian, Layla, and Kelly Kelly take on SmackDown’s Maryse, Natalya, Maria, Gail Kim, and Eve Torres. Hopefully the WWE is listening to the … Read more

Diva Dirt Posts WrestleMania Photoshoot, Remains Defiant While Doing So

WWE.com has posted a photoshoot with all the Miss WrestleMania window dressing participants titled “WrestleMania Backstage Beauties”. As always with our lovely Divas, it’s a delightful mix of cute (Molly Holly‘s old tights!), sexy (Lilian), head-scratching (Jackie Gayda and Eve), skanky (Joy), overkill (Brie Bella), and cross-dresser chic (hey Maria, I thought Santino was supposed … Read more

Raw Redux – March 30, 2009

*Headdesk* ‘Twas the final Raw before WrestleMania when WWE made sure they hammered home that ‘Divas suck’. One last reminder of our dashed hopes and dreams as we head into yet another underwhelming ‘Mania for the Divas. Last year, it was a glorified tag team match we could see any other week on Raw. The … Read more

WrestleMania Spotlight: Jillian Hall

With the Divas Battle Royal at WrestleMania 25 quickly approaching, Diva Dirt has decided to take a closer look at each of the known and rumored participants in the matchup and assess their odds of winning as being High, Moderate, or Low. The winner, of course, will be crowned the first ever “Miss WrestleMania.” This … Read more

Like “Space Jam”, but Without the Talking Cartoon Characters

Well, for those of you who were upset at the lack of Candice, Maryse, or Kelly in last week’s “March Madness: First Round” photoshoot, you can go ahead and have your hissy fit, because the “Second Round” is up, and it’s the same Divas as last time, just different poses. There’s not much to say, … Read more

We’re All Mad Here

With NCAA March Madness kicking off today, the Divas donned jerseys of their favorite teams (but really just the ones with the prettiest colors) and posed for a photoshoot that WWE.com is calling “March Madness: Round One”, which leads me to believe there’s more to come from the Divas we don’t see here. Some of … Read more

Diva B-Sides: Jillian, Layla and Tiffany

We can all agree that, except for a few exceptions, Divas get the short end of the stick when comes to entrance themes. While the male superstars get music from actual bands and artists or custom made songs with lyrics, Divas get stuck with crappy production music. If I had the chance I would change all the Divas music to something a little… well, better. And that’s just what I’m going to do. Here’s a few changes I would make to the Divas’ soundtrack:
 

JILLIAN – “GIMMIE MORE” BY BRITNEY SPEARS

An obvious choice for Raw’s resident pop star, Jillian Hall. I could see Jillian strutting down the ramp to the tunes of her idol. Hopefully she’ll take a page outta Britney’s book and leave the live singing to those who are actually good at it.

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Queen of the Ring Qualifying Round: Jillian vs Torrie, Maria vs Victoria

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The Queen of the Ring tournament is underway! Which Diva will be crowned the ultimate Queen of the Ring for 2009? You decide! Vote for your favourite Divas as we narrow down 16 beautiful and talented women down to just one! It’s a hard job, but the power lies in you, the Diva Dirt audience!

The following are qualifying round matches, the winners of which will advance to the quarter finals!

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[poll id=”288″]

Maria vs Victoria after the cut:

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WWE vs Hollywood: Wrestling With the Stars

We are about 65 days or so away from WWE WrestleMania XXV, the 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania. Each year, the WWE has invited celebrity guests to be a part of the event. Last year, Kim Kardashian was the night’s host and Snoop Dogg sat ringside for the Bunnymania match. This year’s celebrity guest is actor … Read more

WWE Gets More Mileage Out of the Rumble Theme

Photos of Melina, Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Jillian, Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, and Tiffany have been added to yesterday’s Vroom Vroom” photoshoot, and it’s pretty much more of the same. Kelly looks great, and I love the little handkerchief-drop pose. Melina’s leather gloves add to her look, and make it look more “race”-inspired than just … Read more

Raw Redux – January 19, 2008

Raw Redux returns with some changes! Erin and Melanie will both be contributing to the Redux as a ‘no frills’ thoughts column. We’ll both be giving our individual thoughts and opinions on the show. Raw Recap The Glamazon Beth Phoenix and her #1 Contender competed in seperate matches this week on Raw. Beth defeated Kelly … Read more

Raw Redux – January 12, 2009

Raw Redux returns with some changes! Erin and I will both be contributing to the Redux as a ‘no frills’ thoughts column. Hopefully, this idea will be replicated with the SmackDown Redux too. Raw Recap With Beth Phoenix and Melina‘s Women’s Championship match just over a week away, the Glamazon teamed up with Jillian to … Read more

2008: Who Had the Most Wins & Losses?

Here’s some little fun facts I came across today: win/loss records for 2008! So which Diva notched up the most wins? Who lost the most? (As if it isn’t obvious) Well drumroll please… Beth Phoenix and Mickie James are on equal standing, with the most wins in 2008, accumulating 17 a piece. Meanwhile Jillian continued … Read more