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Krissy Vaine’s Vainety Fair: Anatomy of a Grizzled Diva

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vainetyfair

krissyvf1Hey y’all and welcome to the first Vainety Fair! We can all applaud Melanie for the clever name for my new column. When I was pondering about what to write for my first contribution to Diva Dirt, I thought to myself… what can I talk about that would be interesting to the masses? I want to keep my audience captive, but I also want to keep it real. So I decided after much deliberation to use myself as the ‘butt of the joke’ and talk about the aging Diva. During my tenure as a full-time entertainer, I look back and believe that in the span of only about two years, I aged at least five to ten! How does this happen? Good question! I lived it and am still not completely sure but the proof lies in the pudding. Of course, I can look back now and laugh (I’ve managed to ‘de-griz’) but as this was going on in front of me, it was not so humorous and damaging to be truthful. It was heart wrenching and terrifying! You have to understand your ‘beauty’ tends to be the most important thing you’ve got as a female in the wrestling business. Unlike actresses, females in wrestling can never be too attractive. Jessica Biel has often stated that she hasn’t gotten specific movie or television gigs because she is too easy on the eyes… How is this possible, you ask? In acting there are different roles, different characters — the most beautiful woman in the world will receive an Oscar for dimming herself down to look ‘homely’ and ‘unattractive’. Now count how many homely women in wrestling ever ‘get over’, or better yet are ‘pushed’. Bet you can count them on one hand. I am happy to see that some places nowadays are thinking outside of the box and that is refreshing. But I can only speak of what I know…

krissyvf2I, one time tried to pitch a ‘nerd’ character while I was under contract and was actually quite good at it. Think Neil Goldman from Family Guy. I have a retainer I still have to wear at night, y’all! No joke! I sound ridiculous and look even more silly. However, it was kind of funny in it’s on way and I had an idea. Possibly a very good idea. Never have I been comfortable with being the so-called wrestling ‘sex kitten’, so I decided to suggest something different and actually portray that awkward stage that at some point in our lives, we all go through. I thought it would be brilliant for a babyface female to become this character’s ‘protector’ and help her emerge after many trials and tribulations as a beautiful swan. Redemption right? Wrong! Needless to say this ‘character’ did not go over so well with management… in fact, it was more like a turd in a punch bowl. So I was told to drop it and become as ‘sexy’ as I could be. Ugh. I was not happy, but this is the way you’re making a living so you do as you must. As I said on the Roundtable, it’s either be a ‘perfect 10’ or buh-bye Diva wannabe. Is this ridiculous? I think so… I conformed for a while, tried to be sexy. Eek! I’m not very good at that. Yes, I photograph well, but am I a sexpot in the ring? No and I don’t want to be. I think its tasteless and if you are talented, you are selling yourself short.

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Kristal Marshall Likely to Join TNA

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Former WWE Diva, Kristal Marshall is expected to join the ranks of the TNA Knockouts. She would follow in the footsteps of fellow WWE star and baby daddy, Bobby Lashley. Just last month, Marshall teased she was going to make a debut soon. There are some familiar faces for Marshall to work with if she … Read more

Traci Brooks WON’T Appear in Playboy After All

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It looks like Traci Brooks won’t be gracing the cover of Playboy.. or the magazine at all, for that matter. According to PWInsider.com, Traci’s nude photoshoot in the adult magazine has been nixed from the print version. A change in editors is said to be the cause, as the new editor wanting nothing to do … Read more

SmackDown Spoilers: September 4th, 2009

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This week’s SmackDown spoilers are in the tags below. Show airs on Friday, be sure to check back for Erin’s Redux! Click the ‘+’ to read:

Full spoilers now added.

SmackDown - September 4th, 2009
– Maria & Eve are backstage, Michelle walks in and tells Maria that Dolph will leave her. Melina enters the picture and threatens to hit Michelle, but Maria tells her to stay out of her business.

– Maria & Eve Torres defeated Natalya & Layla when Eve pinned Layla.

Thoughts after the cut:

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Impact Spoilers (Night #2): Sept. 10th & 17th, 2009

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Our Impact Zone hook-up, Camden has sent in ongoing spoilers from tonight’s second night of Impact tapings. These scenes will air over the next two weeks leading to the No Surrender pay per view on September 20th. Click the ‘+’ to read:

Full spoilers now added.

Impact - September 10th & 17th, 2009
– Knockouts Tag Team Championship Tournament: Semi-Final #1
The Beautiful People def. Christy Hemme & Tara
Tara & Angelina start out, Love has brief control with some kicks and chops but Tara quickly comes back and then tags in Hemme. Angelina dominates Hemme and tags in Velvet Sky. Sky drags Hemme by the hair to Tara’s corner and screams: “Do you love Christy Hemme?!”

Tara tries to get the win on Sky after the standing moonsault, but Velvet kicks out. Hemme goes for the FFG but Angelina manages to pin her.

Meanwhile, Madison Rayne comes out with a brown paper bag with her face on it and holds it up. She then turns it around and it says, “I’m sorry!” The three leave the ring together.

– Knockouts Tag Team Championship Tournament: Semi-Final #2
Sarita & Taylor Wilde def. Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed

Thoughts after the cut:

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WWE Superstars Spoilers: September 3rd, 2009

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Spoilers for this Thursday’s episode of WWE Superstars are below, this week’s show goes to SmackDown. Show airs at 8pm on WGN America. Click the ‘+’ to read:

WWE Superstars - September 3rd, 2009
The Hart Dynasty def. Cryme Tyme & Eve Torres
Natalya pins Eve after the discus clothesline.

Thoughts after the cut:

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The Diva Dirt Watch List 2009

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watchlist2009

The Diva Dirt team including the expert opinion of our newest team member, Krissy Vaine, has compiled our first annual Watch List. The Watch List gathers the five women, not currently at a national level, who we feel could be breakout stars in the industry in the future. The Watch List, we hope will be an annual event, as we scout new faces & new talents on a regular basis. The five women chosen for the Class of 2009, we feel, represent the brightest young prospects that could breakthrough within the next year or in the not too distant future.

watchlist-angela.ANGELA FONG
Age: 24
Hometown: Vancouver, BC Canada
Trained By: Steve Keirn and FCW staff
Currently under contract to WWE, Angela is working under developmental territory, Florida Championship Wrestling in Tampa, FL. Fong is perhaps the most unique female, developmental in quite some time — already well known amongst Internet fans and has created quite a following before even being called up to the main WWE roster. Since joining FCW in 2008, Fong has already been heavily praised for lending herself to the craft so quickly and was dubbed “the best worker in FCW.” Krissy says: “Angela is a fast learner & has nice outfits! She has lots of charisma, she’s athletic and ‘bendy’.”

More after the cut:

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Raw Redux (August 31st, 2009) – Happy Beth-day, Mickie!

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Check your local weather forecast for flying pigs, folks! We’ve seen the occasional ‘two Divas matches in one night’ on SmackDown, more common we see two Knockouts matches on any given episode of Impact but Raw? Raw?! Following last week’s Vince birthday debacle, this week it was the Divas Champion’s birthday. I wonder what she wished for… Better yet, neither match was a three minute wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am affair either! Cloudy with a chance of Divas.

First up was a six Diva battle royal to determine who faced the birthday girl, Mickie James, l ater on in the night. Rather than the standard clusterf*ck we usually see, they did a good job of getting the dead weight out of the ring early and letting the ‘wrestler girls’ do what they do best.

First, the entrance — so the Divas finally get their own entrances for one of these battle royals and Gail Kim decides: “Oh no, not me… I want to be ~suppressed~ by this turgid Diva lifestyle. I have been taken away from my beloved Knockouts and have to work here just for the money. But I shan’t enjoy it! Woe is me.” So what does a girl do? She hijacks Kelly Kelly‘s entrance. It definitely looked like a miscue to me, I guess she accidentally walked out and realised she made a mistake because Kelly didn’t even see her behind her, Gail had to tap her on the shoulder. And you’ll even notice a pause from announcer, Lilian Garcia, possibly because she was surprised to see Gail come out with Kelly. “Introducing first…” Pause. “Kelly Kelly and Gail Kim.” Also interesting to note that Beth Phoenix, arguably the top heel on Raw came out second while Alicia Fox came out last. The last spot is usually reserved for the top Divas/Superstars. Maybe Gail was supposed to come out after Alicia?

Anyway that over with, let’s skip to the match: We kick off with three different matches going on at once, Beth-Kelly, Gail-Rosa, Alicia-Jillian. Kind of hard to keep track of all of this. I noticed Rosa attempting to hit some awful looking slaps Gail’s way, before being pushed into the Glamazon. Despite being her former protege, Beth is having none of that — and Rosa & her weave go flying over the top rope. After this, we see some work between Gail and Beth which is always an enticing prospect, while Kelly hits a few forearms to Jillian and Alicia. Ms Fierce kicks Kelly in the stomach and delivers a really nice ace kick, delivered much better than the one on Mickie last week. Unfortunately our girl Foxy isn’t long for this match as she’s next eliminated by Gail Kim. She’s followed by Kelly, who’s dropped out of the ring by Beth who picks her up almost as if she’s cradling a baby. In the ring, Gail and Jillian ‘hit it off’, you could say, with Jillian launching Gail into the turnbuckle, Gail moves out of the way and Jillian eats ring post. Beth attacks next, but Gail manages to fight back and has Beth against the ropes, she falls out of the ring but manages to hold on thankfully for her. Beth teeters off the apron, I like this, it reminds me of those Royal Rumble matches when people are trying to eliminate the Big Show for example and the ‘big man’ kinda teases he’s about to fall. I guess Beth is our Diva equivalent of that.

Now it’s time for what I felt was some good work between Gail Kim and veteran, Jillian. They do a little exchange, which Gail gets the best of, tossing Jillian out of the ring but again — she hangs on this time. Gail tries to finish the job, but gets tossed out herself by Jillian before sliding back in through Jilly’s legs and almost going for a rollup, err… Anyway then she misses another crossbody but good news folks! She doesn’t knock herself loopy this time. Risky move going for it in the first place though, Gail. Jillian goes for a handspring elbow but meets Gail’s knees, Jillian stumbles to the canvas and crawls around like a retarded cat. Jillian grabs hold of Gail trying to throw her over the top rope, but Gail fights back, leading into a really awkward, awful looking hurricanrana that turned into a butt bump. I don’t even…

Did Michael Cole really just call Gail ‘dead weight’? Jillian tosses Gail over the top but in HBK-esque fashion, Gail skins the cat as they say [I don’t know why]. Another amazing observation from the amazing Michael Cole: “Jillian surprised that Gail’s still alive.” That is just… wow. Gail uses her legs to hit a legscissors on Jillian who falls out of the ring… finally! Unfortunately for Gail, Beth is still in this thing and with a stiff kick, eliminates Gail and takes the win!

Good battle royal, I felt. I enjoyed the work between Jillian and Gail minus a few glaring awkward moments.

This leads to…

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Raw Response: August 31st, 2009

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Discuss tonight’s episode of Raw as it happens in this post! Tonight’s Raw is hosted by the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes. I wonder how they can turn that into a Divas’ gimmick match?

Impact Spoilers for Thursday Night: September 3rd, 2009

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Spoilers for this week’s show are now out, courtesy of our new TNA tapings correspondent Camden! From now on, Diva Dirt will be your first stop for TNA spoilers, as we’ll have them before anywhere else. We’ll also have more match detail than any other site–no simple, single-lined results here! The show airs September 3rd on Spike. Click the ‘+’ to read:

EDIT: More spoilers added.

Impact - September 3rd, 2009
– Knockouts Tag Title Tournament match
Sojo Bolt & Hamada vs. Tara & Christy Hemme
Hamada and Tara lock up as each woman equally dominates the other. Hamada tags in Sojo. Tara puts Hemme up on her shoulders and uses her.

Tara tags in Hemme as Sojo dominates and brings Hemme in for a head lock. She gives a quick tag back to Hamada. Sojo continues to dominate Christy and she finally crawls over for the quick tag to Tara. Tara takes Sojo down with a kick to the face and covers her. Hamada breaks up the count at 2.

Tara hits the Widows Peak to get the 3 count. As Tara and Hemme celebrate Hamada grabs Sojo and hits her with the Hamada Driver.
Winners – Tara & Christy Hemme

– Knockouts Tag Title Tournament match
Daffney & Alissa Flash vs. Sarita & Taylor Wilde
Daffney and Alissa flash come out first, unfortunately not much of a reception for this team. Sarita and Taylor Wilde come out and at the top of the ramp do a cute little sister sorority-type hand shake.

Taylor and Alyssa start off. Taylor starts to dominate but Alissa quickly shows her strength. This match is demonstrating what he knockouts are about. Clean power moves tight submission holds…match is moving pretty fast. Sarita and Taylor are on he same page and make a great team.

Sarita gets the pin on Flash and moves on with her new found partner Taylor Wilde.
Winners – Sarita & Taylor Wilde

– Knockouts Tag Title Tournament match
The Beautiful People vs. Madison Rayne & Roxxi
Beautiful People come out first. They have a poster with the Beautiful People including Madison and they
tear her off.

Madison comes out with new gear and a new entrance and introduces her tag partner… Roxxi! I personally am a huge gear mark, so I wil include that she looks AMAZING. Her hair is growing out, she’s wearing a 2-piece shirt set. It’s red, white, black, and silver with stars.

Match isn’t much to write home about unfortunately. Maybe 4 minutes of some quick exchanges.

Velvet grabs Roxxi by her legs pullin her out of the ring. Madison and Angelina are in the ring, Roxxi can’t make it back in to save Madison and Angel gets the pin.
Winners – The Beautiful People

Thoughts after the cut:

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Roundtable (August 31st, 2009) | Krissy Vaine’s WWE Journey: Real Reason She Left, DSW, Bellas, Natalya, Angelina, Torrie, McCool, Tara, Vince & More

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This week on the Roundtable: The Diva Dirt Roundtable has moved to it’s brand new home of Mondays here at Diva Dirt, and this week we have a special episode dedicated entirely to our newest team member and former WWE Diva, Krissy Vaine. In a candid interview with the Diva Dirt team, Krissy speaks for … Read more

Project Diva: Get Michelle McCool’s LA Look

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projectdivaprojectdiva-michelle

This is Project Diva! Consider me your own personal Heidi Klum as I guide you through the looks of your favourite Divas & Knockouts! As a former personal stylist, fashion is srs bsns when it comes to this here web-diva; I’ll teach you how you can emulate the look, offer alternative solutions & suggest the perfect accessories to polish it off.

This week: Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool‘s sizzling LA outfit last weekend during SummerSlam‘s Fan Axxess. A look so well put together, Tyra herself would squeal with excitement. It’s not just the outfit either; the perfectly moisturised, luscious long legs and kempt hairstyle without a single lock out of place.

pdmichelle-top pdmichelle-shorts pdmichelle-shoes

Look Book
Cut-out sleeve off the shoulder top: Okay, so it’s not exactly the same as the sheath top Michelle’s wearing, but it’s the closest we could find. This cut-out sleeve top bears a colour resemblance to that of the Champ’s, without the need of wearing anything underneath! ASOS, £20 [out of stock]

Button side denim shorts: It’s amazing how expensive a pair of destroyed denim shorts are these days, especially when you can take a pair of scissors to an old pair of jeans yourself. This pair comes in at a decent $12.80, however minus the destroyed look. Again, take a pair of scissors and just knead out those seams to create the full effect! Forever21, $12.80

Peep-toe pumps: Pretty standard peep-toes here, you should be able to find them in most places. This pair comes from Glaze by Adi, at a respectable $29.99. Overstock, $29.99.

More after the cut:

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending August 29th, 2009

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In order to consolidate our Eye Candy coverage, we’ve developed a new feature: Unwrapped! We’ll take all the new photoshoots from the week and grade (or “brand”) each based on the following criteria:

• Appearance (hair, clothes, makeup.. you get the drift)
• Poses (are they versatile or just glorified statues?)
• Uniqueness (have we seen this photoshoot a billion times before?)
Grading scale: Sweet (Great)/Bland (Iffy)/Sour (Awful)

Alicia Fox‘s Foxy Diva
Appearance: I know a lot of you will hate the outfit, it being a tiny littler romper, but I think it’s adorable and retro. She looks like she’s dressed to hang out at the beach in the late 50s/early 60s. The studded belt kind of takes away from the vintage feel, but it doesn’t ruin the look. Neither do the black heels. I’d love to see a Diva adopt a more retro style–not too costumey, but unique enough to stand out amongst the sea of jean-wearing, halter top-sporting Divas.
Poses: She compliments the outfit by posing in a manner you’d see a 60s catalog model posing–cute, almost innocent. It’s not overtly sexy or suggestive, and I like that it corresponds with the look perfectly.
Uniqueness: The look itself is unique as can be. Not too many Divas are running around in vintage rompers. It’s cute and fun in a way that you don’t see many Divas dressing.
Grade: Sweet. I’m feeling the retro-ness of it all. It’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but I definitely am. Maybe it has something to do with the Mad Men kick I’ve been on..
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Courtney Taylor‘s Diva Debut
Appearance: Courtney’s wearing a flowy, one-shoulder dress in a gorgeous purple color. She keeps the rest of the ensemble simple with black wedge heels, a black bracelet, silver earrings and a silver ring. Clearly, she’s only sticking to a simple color scheme. The one dominating color is the purple, and it’s beautiful enough to command the attention and carry the look on its own. The dress itself is loose and not too form-fitting, but still sexy in the way it falls on her frame.
Poses: She excudes a casual attitude through her poses, lying down and half-smiling. She looks comfortable and ready to assume her role as full-fledged Diva. I especially like that she’s not trying too hard, given that this is her first Diva photoshoot.
Uniqueness: Nothing particularly unique about it, as it’s your standard studio shoot. I guess the fact that it’s her first photoshoot makes it noteworthy, though.
Grade: Sweet. She’s just the right mix of cute and sexy. It’s certainly a great first impression.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Follow the cut to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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Trish Stratus Confirmed for 9/14 Raw

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It’s the confirmation we’ve been waiting for — the legend that is Trish Stratus has been confirmed as guest host for the September 14th episode of Raw hailing from Toronto. It had been widely speculated over the past couple of months that Trish would host the show, given it’s in her hometown and despite many … Read more

Renewed Interest in Knockouts TV Show

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PWInsider’s Mike Johnson is reporting that there is some renewed interest in doing a Knockouts only TV show, which has been discussed several times in the past, including just last month. Johnson reports that TNA’s new contract with Spike TV has something to do with. The company now has the right to shop potential TV … Read more

WWE Signs New Diva in Magic Dancer

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WWE has reportedly signed Orlando Magic dancer, Trinity McCray to a contract. The official Twitter page for the Magic Dancers says that McCray is set to start training this coming Monday, presumably in FCW: Don’t think I ever told u all where Trinity was going this yr! She’s now a WWE Diva Wrestler! Starts training … Read more

Saturday Supplement: What’s in a Name?

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saturdaysupplement

In the Saturday Supplement, the Diva Dirt team will aim to discuss a news story, a televised event or other relevant and current topics. The objective, like the average weekend newspaper, is to offer more indepth and lengthy discussion.

With last week’s debut of Courtney Taylor I thought, amongst other things, how awful that name was. But let’s be honest–for a girl that used to be named Wesley Holliday, you can only go “up” in the name department. That thought led me to think of how and why the WWE and TNA name their Divas and Knockouts the way that they do. Some names stick, some don’t, and others just boggle the mind with their awfulness. I’ll ponder that, and take a look at some of the aliases that have become some of the most recognizable names in business, as well as some that just don’t make a damn bit of sense.

Of course, a discussion on wrestling names wouldn’t be complete without mentioning Victoria, er.. Tara. The internet breathed a collective “Huh??” at the unveiling of the new name. After all, how would that sound on television? “Tara hits the Widow’s Peak!” Eh, not really feeling it. After having a name as fitting as Victoria, is was strange to see her suddenly have to change monikers. But let’s figure out why she had to do it: did the WWE have a trademark on the name? Probably, but WWE-to-TNA transfers have often found loopholes and ways to get around that. Christian Cage, anyone? After the recent debut of Lashley, who of course didn’t have to change his name from his recognizable WWE moniker, it makes me wonder if Victoria was forced into changing her name, and if so, why? She had a long, storied history with the WWE, and if any Knockout commanded respect right from the get-go, it was her. Unless I’m wrong and it was her idea to change names, I think it’s pretty crappy to make her switch from something she’s been associated with for so long. After all, don’t TNA love getting a rub from the WWE’s past successes? Why would they want to sever that mental tie to Tara’s success in the WWE by completely changing her name? And for the love of God, why Tara? It’s such an un-intimidating name (Yeah, I get the Tara-Terror connection), and just sounds silly in the context of a wrestling match. Maybe if she had a faux last name with it, it would be easier to digest. Though I will admit, it’s been growing on me after a while, but probably just because I’m getting more used to it.

But while we’re on the topic of TNA, that company has a pretty storied history of questionable Knockout names. ODB, for instance, stands for One Dirty Bitch, clearly a moniker fitting for her over-the-top character, but it’s so damn weird. All I think of when I hear it is the rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard, which probably isn’t too far fetched, since he often went by the initials ODB as well. Now, I can’t knock her for doing something out of the ordinary, but I personally wouldn’t name myself a bitch. I probably wouldn’t drink from a flask on my way to the ring either, so we’re probably not destined to see eye-to-eye on much.

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Jeremy Borash Confirms Roxxi’s Return

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As first reported here during the week, TNA’s Jeremy Borash has confirmed the return of Roxxi aka Nikki Roxx. The confirmation took place during a live video chat with fans on popular site, Ustream. Given the brackets, one can assume that Roxxi will be returning to team with Madison Rayne in her opening tournament match … Read more

McCool Says ‘Champions’ Was Favourite Match, Responds to Criticisms of Move Stealing and More

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Say what you will about the Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool, but there is no denying that she has a good head on her shoulders. Despite being chalked up as a hate figure by Internet wrestling fans and even some ‘newz’ sites, McCool is quick to address and laugh off insults and criticism thrown her way. … Read more

ABC News Piece on Wrestlicious

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wrestlicious

The folks at Wrestlicious, the upcoming all-female promotion, directed us to this video clip highlighting Wrestlicious and owner, JV Rich on last night’s ABC News. That can be seen after the cut. Note: The video autoplays.

Additionally, in response to a recent report from one major news site that Wrestlicious hasn’t locked a TV deal of yet, the company assures fans that they are due to launch in late fall as planned.

Watch the ABC News piece:

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