
Thanks to several readers I have decided to join a Beth Phoenix self-help group. I didn’t realize I needed professional help, but after reading some of the comments from my last column, my eyes have been opened a bit. For example, Agent E suggested I was suffering from “too much Glamazon love” and even called me creepy! Jennifer L134 suggested I check out AA. Ouch! Who knew I had this problem? Who knew these types of problems even existed? I mean, I save every Beth match on DVD, I call my daughter the Glamazon, and I back flip into my office cube every morning, but is this an actual medical problem? That’s preposterous…ummm…right?
Maybe, maybe not. But the comments of some readers pointed out to me (albeit in a playful way) I should examine this a little closer. Truthfully, I have probably been in denial for quite some time. For starters, I guess I shouldn’t check every day to see if Smackdown is coming to DC so I can pre-order tickets. And I guess I shouldn’t walk around with a women’s title belt raised above my head. (I could go on and on, but in the interest of time, I’ll stop there.) So I thank the readers for helping push me forward. In some ways I’m starting to feel like I belong in the Straight Edge Society because my eyes have now been opened. Actually, I thought about cutting my hair, buying a Punk T-shirt, and going completely “straight edge”…but then I realized something. I could give up drinking. I don’t smoke or use “prescription medication” (God Punk is a great promo). But I can’t be “straight edge” for one very big reason – I am much, much, much too vain. Nobody is shaving or cutting anything on this money maker. The hair…it stays.
Side note – I always have my hair cut by a hot chick. Just a quirk of mine. I find a beautiful hairstylist and I stay with her. It is a deep and meaningful relationship is some ways. There’s lots of chit-chat, lots of head rubbing, and I always leave happy. The only difference between her and my wife is the money exchanged. (Joke alert! Thank you, thank you….I’ll be here all week.) First there was Tina. She got me through high school and college. God I miss Tina. Then I moved to DC and was in a tailspin for about 12 months, bouncing from one barber to another. I hit all the ones in Northern VA looking for my new girl. I thought I found the right one…Brenda…but then she tried to set me up with her sister. That went horrible wrong, mainly b/c there was little family resemblance…if you know what I mean. Plus her sister’s name was Wanda…that didn’t work for me. It was my one and only blind date. And yes I can be that shallow. Cut me a break, I was 24.






