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Raw Redux (April 12th, 2010): Way Too Quick & Far Too Slow

So Eve Torres won a Divas Championship shot last week in what was probably the least prestigious win of its kind. That’s not a slight to Eve, though, because the evening gown stipulation dragged the match down like a rusty anchor. Still, it was promising to see an actual championship match made, and we moved on to this week with Eve vs. Maryse in the cards. So, did this match surpass its dress-wrestling origins? Let’s see:

David Hasselhoff introduces the match. Eve makes her way to the ring, and she dances a bit with Hoff. Michael Cole calls this an “interesting” and “unique” way to kick off Raw. I have no idea what that means, because while Divas Championship matches may be rare, they’re not exactly “unique” fare. Maryse is next, and the match starts. Maryse gets things rolling with a vicious slap, prompting a hair-pulling exchange that the referee eventually has to break up. Maryse slips out of the ring and Eve gives chase, meeting a blow from Maryse as soon as she reaches her.

Maryse is showing more aggression than she has in a long, long time. I guess a championship defense will light a fire under anyone’s ass, but it’s nice to see her do more than run away–though she’s still doing that too. She slams Eve’s face onto the apron several times before tossing her back into the ring. Before Maryse can do anything more Eve goes on an offensive streak of her own, whipping Maryse into the corner, charging and getting an elbow to the face. Maryse tries to get in another lick but Eve again turns the tables, hitting a neckbreaker. She positions Maryse on the mat and climbs the turnbuckle, performing a beautiful moonsault.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t meet its mark, as Maryse rolls out of the way. Both Divas lay stagnant on the mat, and I’m pretty sure Eve knocked all the wind out of herself. God, that’s gotta hurt. Maryse laughs at her misfire, slapping her on the back of the head and standing her up for the French Kiss DDT. Even blocks it, though and, with that momentum, rolls Maryse up into an interesting bridge pin. She gets the 3-count and is the new Divas Champion. Eve celebrates while Maryse screams (in agony?).

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A Supersized Unwrapped: Eye Candy for Weeks of March 29th & April 5th, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Angelina Love‘s Twisted Steel
Grade: Sour. Angelina Love, in her trademark trashy ring attire here posing backstage at the Impact Zone. I like this bright blue but seriously, Angelina’s ring attire is far too complicated and perplexing for anything to stand out. I mean just look at the top — you have blue, then you have animal print and then you have a black sequined boob tube. Good lord. The backgrounds in these shots provides an interesting contrast but honestly, it just looks odd and not nearly as abstract as it should.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Chelsea‘s Could It Be Magic?
Grade: Sour. Poor Bellas, always stuck with the lame outfits to placate that week’s Raw guest host. This photoshoot is hilariously silly with Brie and Nikki in PVC magician’s assistant outfits. I don’t know about you but these just look like bondage outfits to me with hats and wands thrown in. Very PG!
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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Raw Redux (April 5th, 2010): All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

Last week’s Raw brought a level of disappointment that made me vow to never again underestimate the WWE’s ability to undervalue the Divas. So, maybe that’s why I’m not as disappointed by Raw as I normally would be. Sure, the match this week was based on a lame and degrading idea, but at this point I’m not expecting anything better.

I’m sure most of you have heard the saying “all dressed up and nowhere to go”, which means, in a fashion, that you’re prepared for something that’s not going to happen. This applies pretty well in this case, as Diva fans, the gluttons for punishment that they are, are continuously hoping for the best. They’re prepared for something interesting, exciting, or at the very least respectable. But if you look at the last few months of booking for the Raw Divas, you would know that it’s not going to happen–at least not anytime soon. Unless they take a hard left turn, it’ll be a while until we’re treated to something that demonstrates that the Raw bookers have an ounce of respect for the Divas. Until then, we’ll be treated to matches like the one that took place tonight. Don’t get me wrong–it wasn’t a trainwreck, but the whole idea of it speaks volumes about the respect (or lack thereof) that the Divas receive. It was close to being a perfectly acceptable match, but one addition, one finishing touch, threw it out of whack. That “touch” was totally unnecessary, and served to pretty much ruin the match for me.

The match in question was a “Dressed to Impress” battle royal, in which the winner would earn a shot at Maryse‘s Divas Championship. That’s a great idea, because we all know that the only thing that could top the awkwardness of a battle royal is a battle royal where the competitors have to wear dresses. Why were they wearing dresses! Why, to fit in with this week’s GM of course! Who is he? I don’t know, but who gives a shit, right? I say bring on the hot mess!

We’re joined at ringside by Maryse, who takes her spot at the commentary table. Surprisingly, each Diva gets her own entrance, which I assume is an effort to show off their fancy dresses. I can’t say I like any of them very much, but I don’t blame them for not pulling out the good duds–you wouldn’t want to risk ruining them when you’re tossed over the top rope. Anywho, we’re joined by Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Rosa Mendes, Jillian, Katie Lea Burchill, Brie and Nikki Bella, and Eve Torres. Maryse trashes all of their looks, but puts special effort into dogging Eve. It’s not secret that she’s going to win this match; she gets the last entrance, a stare down with Maryse, and special emphasis on commentary. If that doesn’t allow you to telegraph Eve’s win from a mile away, you’re just not paying close enough attention.

The match starts and the Divas break off into pairs, all except Rosa, who charges at the Bellas and pretty much jumps out of the ring. It’s a messy exchange, but the Bellas eventually complete what’s left of her journey and heave her over the ropes and out of the ring. Rosa is eliminated. Soon after, Brie and Nikki are eliminated, with Katie Lea and Alicia doing the honors. Brie & Nikki Bella are eliminated.

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Raw Redux (March 29th, 2010): I Shall Never Underestimate the WWE Again


My thoughts exactly, Mickie.

Now, that title may sound like I actually enjoyed the action from last night’s Raw, but anyone who watched the show would know that that just isn’t possible, unless you enjoy watching acute forms of torture. What I mean by the title is that, like last week, we always claim that the WWE’s treatment of the Raw Divas cannot possibly get any worse. I mean, we go from a 1-minute match to a 50-second match and many of us jokingly suggested that the WWE can do better than that–they can get the matches EVEN shorter! Needless to say, they met that challenge head on and delivered a match that somehow, by the grace of Zeus (who, by the way, I picture looking like Liam Neeson dressed in shimmering armor) was even shorter, more pointless, and an even greater waste of talent and time. Like I said, I’ll never underestimate the WWE again!

Now, getting into the specifics, we started the show with what was obviously an omen for how things were going to go. We are told that tonight, in keeping with the theme of the show, which was hosted by Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from “Hot Tub Time Machine”, we would be treated punished with a hot tub “match”. As it turns out, it was more of a hot tub contest, with the winner being the one who stayed in the hot tub the longest. Tiffany, Rosa Mendes, Brie Bella, and Nikki Bella are sporting bikinis and seated in a rather unhygienic looking hot tub with the night’s hosts.

Now, I know as well as you that the punchline is coming from a mile away–unattractive person enters the hot tub and chases the men away. But still, someone suggests that the winner get a shot at the Divas Championship. Great, because that’s just what we need! It’s been about a year since a man won a Divas-only distinction. We’re due, yes? Obviously, that was not meant to be taken seriously because, as you see, we’d then have Mark Henry challenging Maryse, and I don’t think anyone’s holding their breath in anticipation for that. Oh sorry, did I spoil the ending for you? Sorry. Watch the “contest” below and try to enjoy it regardless:

PART 1

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WrestleMania 26 in Review: Well, At Least They Got Their Payday

Thankfully, we went into this year’s WrestleMania with rock-bottom expectations for the Divas and thus, you couldn’t exactly be disappointed. For the second year in a row, the Divas match centered around an outlandish character and ‘comedy’ rather than giving the Divas a showcase. It’s not as though this match didn’t have some talented girls in it that could have wrestled for 3-5 minutes which seems to be all the time they had for the girls, instead this became the ‘signature move melee’ that often plagues these multi-Diva tag team matches. Lazy booking to get a cheap pop. The end, with Vickie Guerrero going over with what WWE refers to as the ‘hog splash’ on Kelly Kelly, pretty much echoed what happened last year in the Miss WrestleMania battle royal. Even with fans, critics, the Divas past and present and company officials within WWE scolding last year’s trainwreck, they evidently still haven’t learnt from their mistakes.

The show opened this year more positively than last year with Vickie and company getting a backstage promo which eventually featured cameos from Jillian and an injured Melina, the first time she’s appeared on WWE TV in 2010. I can’t recall the last time, if ever, that the Divas got to cut a promo at WrestleMania but I liked that they were given some extra attention this year. I absolutely loved the facial expressions from Alicia and Maryse in the background as Jillian was singing and my eyes were totally focused on those two. It was really lovely to see Melina get to be part of ‘Mania — I had an inkling she would somehow make a cameo because Candice did last year while she was injured. There was a nice reaction when she popped up on screen too, so nice to know she hasn’t been forgotten. Let’s not even discuss Mae Young…

Next up, it was time for the Divas bout. Watch below:

First of all, out comes Team Vickie to Michelle McCool‘s music. I’m one of those people that finds entrances interesting as I believe it tells you what WWE thinks of its Divas — who the current flavour is etc. Seeing the Divas come out to McCool’s music and seeing her front and center in the lineup was no surprise. Usually, the Diva who is announced last is the one that is the ‘star’ of the team; her being announced last as the Women’s Champ, taking precedent over the Divas Champ Maryse, was again no surprise but I still found it interesting. We know WWE loves Maryse but in the long run, McCool really is becoming top dog for the Divas roster entirely. Next out are the babyfaces and anyone who listened to the After Show last night will know that I was bewildered that the babyface team came out to Eve Torres‘ music. I know she’s the current flavour of the month over on Raw but going by the fact that Beth Phoenix was the one that was front and center and announced last, which are my two tell-tale signs, why did they come out to Eve’s music? Surely they should’ve come out to Beth’s music? Nit-picking, I know and it’s hardly a big deal but still, this kind of stuff interests me and in this case, baffles me.

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PPV Predictions: WWE WrestleMania 26

Tonight at WrestleMania, 10 Divas will be showcased at the grandest stage of them all. The team of Beth Phoenix, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly & Mickie James will take on the team of Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, Divas Champion Maryse, Alicia Fox, Layla and Vickie Guerrero. Who will come out on top? The … Read more

SmackDown Redux (March 26th, 2010): No Vickie, Excuse Us!

The final SmackDown before WrestleMania promised a Beth Phoenix vs Vickie Guerrero match, but anyone could see a mile away that it wouldn’t be a straight one-on-one match. Last week I predicted that Vickie would likely change it to a 3-on-1 match with her teaming up with Lay-Cool but oh no, that wasn’t enough — Raw’s Maryse and Alicia Fox were tacked on too. Why? God knows. I get that it’s all in the name of WrestleMania, as the Divas will have a last minute multi-Diva tag match but there’s been no reasons given as to why the various Divas of Raw and SmackDown are coming together and fighting. And frankly, it’d be a waste trying to figure out why.

The big story however was not WrestleMania, which wasn’t even mentioned on the show. Instead that match was quietly announced on the WWE website, and I do mean quietly! Not even a slide in that flash player thing on the homepage, it was literally just tacked onto the ‘Mania page where only those who were looking to find it, would find it. Doesn’t instill a lot of confidence about this match, does it? Anyway, I digress…

The big story was the continuation of a rather fun feud on SmackDown where Beth Phoenix once again, looked golden and Vickie Guerrero, well we saw a little too much of her. Watch below:

So as explained earlier, before the match begins Vickie announces that it will now be a 5-on-1 match. Despite the switcheroo, Beth shows no signs of being intimidated and can’t wait for Layla to get in the ring to start things out. Beth extends her hand to bump knuckles with Layla [really?] but as Layla comes closer, she nails her with a forearm. Layla tries to tag out but is dragged across the ring by Phoenix and cue some funny screams from Lay-Lay. Layla begins fighting back with some forearms and again, some beautiful kicks. She then tries to hightail it to her corner but Beth grabs her in mid-air. “Michellllllle… Please help me!” Gotta love this girl!

Beth runs into the corner with Layla and begins stomping into her but is dragged away by the referee and somehow, she herself falls straight on her butt. As Beth exchanges insults with the other Divas on the apron, Layla mounts a comeback and hits Beth in the jaw with an elbow. She then tries to jump on Beth who picks her up and hoists her in the air in gorilla press slam position. Meanwhile from the outside, Michelle tags Layla and hits Beth in the back of the head. Beth uses Layla as a human weapon as it were, using her to hit Michelle off the apron before dropping her to the canvas.

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Raw Redux (March 22nd, 2010): A Waste of 50 Seconds & 10 Women

This week’s Raw brought up a lot of questions, none of which relate to anticipation towards WrestleMania or the future of the Divas division. The questions were more akin to “Why did I watch all of Raw for a 50 second match?” and “What’s on HBO? (Answer: Spider-Man)“. Needless to say, tonight’s events were a bit of a mind boggling clusterfuck, and not just because there were approximately 34 Divas at ringside for the match of varying brand loyalty. After last week’s 1-minute long match, I jokingly suggested on Twitter that this week’s match try and beat that “record”. Sadly, I believe they did, and in quite an embarrassing fashion, too. Behold:


skip to 4:50

We begin in a promising, though confusing fashion, with Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, and Eve Torres in the ring with Mickie James (welcome back!) and Kelly Kelly at ringside. It’s pretty interesting to see Beth alongside the “good girls”, not to mention in the mix of Raw at all. Then come Maryse, Michelle McCool, and Layla, flanked by Vickie Guerrero and Alicia Fox. It’s a bit confusing, this brand crossover, especially since they haven’t even explained why it’s happening yet. This specific scenario seems like way too many “cooks in the kitchen”, in a manner of speaking, but if they were putting so many Divas at ringside at once, something interesting has to happen, right? Or so you’d think..

Gail and Michelle start off the match for their teams, Michelle kicking things off with a kick (*rimshot*), wrenching Gail’s arm. Gail twists is back and nails Michelle with the back of her elbow. She leaps up and hits a frankensteiner, nailing Michelle in the corner, trading blows with her through the ropes. She leaps over the ropes and nails Michelle with a clothesline, going for the pin and getting a 2-count. Gail preps for the Eat Defeat but Layla distracts her, allowing Michelle to go for a leg sweep. Gail counters it into a pin, but Michelle flips the pin into one of her own, but instead holding Gail and switching into a standing position, nailing the Faith Breaker in a clever reversal. She gets the pin and the win for her team.

And just like that, it’s over. Lasting a whopping 50 seconds (Beating last week’s speed record by 10 seconds; what is this, a luge race?), this is apparently what we get when we have 10 women at ringside in a cross-brand exchange on the very last Raw before WrestleMania. Was it a victim of poor time management by the WWE or just a resounding lack of effort by the bookers? It really felt like a segment with ambitions of taking up 10 minutes that was snipped down to a 1 measly minute. Either way, it’s embarrassing and makes you wonder why they even tried. It’s embarrassing and awkward for all the Divas to mosey on out to the ring, only to be worthy of a minute of screen time. I mean, what was the point of putting them all out there, besides getting some meager face time? And, by the way, why haven’t they even EXPLAINED what the SmackDown girls are fucking doing on Raw in the first place??

What message does that send when the promos building up to the John Cena/Batista “face off” lasted longer than this whole segment? Clearly, like we’ve been saying for what seems like forever, the Divas are on a whole different level of priority to the WWE’s writers. That is to say, Cena and Dave are on the top floor, and the Divas are somewhere underneath the floorboards.

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Raw Redux (March 15th, 2010): Blurring the Lines

After last week’s Raw, all signs seemed to be pointing towards Eve Torres being the front runner for a title feud with Maryse, but a few inter-brand cameos may have just turned us in another direction. Is this a good direction or a bad one? Let’s watch this week’s action and judge for ourselves:

Kelly Kelly makes her way to the ring, followed by Maryse. Common sense indicates that this will be a squash match, but with how Maryse has been wrestling lately (that is, barely wrestling) it seems tough for them to pull off a real squash.

Before the match can begin, Maryse takes a moment to do her trademark pose, and Kelly climbs the turnbuckle to do one of her own. I have to say that it looked a little silly, but that’s only because Kelly’s never been the “sexpot” type, and even in her Extreme Expose days the girl seemed to lack that kind of overt sexiness. Anywho, Maryse attacks her while she has her back turned, and the match begins.

Kelly takes control rather quickly, going on an offensive streak that eventually degenerates into a catfight. The referee breaks it up and Kelly goes for a kick that Maryse blocks, flipping her backwards and back onto her feet. Kelly hits Maryse with a knee-level dropkick and then goes back to pounding Maryse’s head to the mat. This type of intensity from Kelly makes it seem like these two have had something building, even though they’ve only wrestled together a handful of times. I guess it’s just an easy way to fill up offense before Maryse eventually sneaks out the win, and that’s all there is to it.

Kelly hoists a leg onto the back of Maryse’s neck, hitting a bit of a modified version of the K2. She goes for the pin, and Maryse kicks out at 2. Both Divas get to their feet slowly, but before Kelly can grab a hold of Maryse, she gets pulled face-first into the turnbuckle. Maryse pulls Kelly up, hits the the French Kiss, and it’s all said and done. She pins Kelly for the win.

Maryse decides to beat down on Kelly a bit, but Gail Kim and Eve bust in and give Maryse a beating of her own. Gail hits a neckbreaker on Maryse and she and Eve tend to Kelly. Then, out of nowhere, Michelle McCool and Layla come running in, dressed like two Daisy Duke impersonators, and lay out Gail and Eve. They level everyone in sight and pose a bit for the crowd, heading up the ramp to meet with Vickie Guerrero, the woman who seems to have full control over Diva happenings, whether they take place on SmackDown, Raw, or Mars. Maryse joins them, looking to form a shaky alliance with Laycool and Guerrero.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury Returns: Week of March 8th, 2010

Divas beware, we judge what you wear! Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury. We compile the looks from the week gone by and mark each look on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the scoring, we work out the combined score for each look and the Diva with the highest combined score is our winner and the Diva with the lowest combined score is our loser.

A few rules: We only judge outfits/ring attire that we haven’t judged before or we have already seen several times on TV before. If a Diva is seen in more than one outfit in any given week, we mark them as ‘#1’, ‘#2’ and so forth.

So, let the proverbial runway show begin!

THE BELLA TWINS
Cryssi: I don’t even know what this outfit is. I guess it’s some magician’s assistant type of thing. Either way, it’s ugly. Good thing the Bellas have their fit bodies and good looks, because that’s the only thing that helps this thing. 2/10
Erin: Those dresses kind of look like re-purposed garbage bags. Not cute, to say the least. Not liking the pink on them, either. Maybe they should have stolen Scarlett Johansson’s wardrobe from “The Prestige” if they wanted to rock the sexy magician’s assistant look. 3/10
Melanie: I guess it was obvious they’d be dressed as magician’s assistants but lulz, they could have done a better job. This looks like the Pleasure Chest version of a magician’s outfit if you catch my drift. 2/10
Steven: Looks like someone took a pair of scissors to Trish Stratus’ old black and pink gear. Definitely not the most practical outfit, but I think it serves it’s purpose here with the magic theme and all. 6/10

EVE TORRES
Cryssi: This is gorgeous and I absolutely love it. With Eve’s complexion, the shimmering green material absolutely pops. She looked beautiful on Raw this week. 9/10
Erin: I like the turquoise color, but not her tights’ design scheme. I just don’t like the design of them in general. As pretty as the color is, I’m just not feeling it as a whole. It doesn’t really look like “wrestling attire”, if you get what I mean. It sort of looks like a tank top and shorts modified to work in the ring, and I guess that’s probably the point. It looks awkward to wrestle in. 5/10
Melanie: I love the green and the detailing that’s gone into the top and shorts to make it a seemless outfit but at the same time, it has a Ninja Turtle feel to it lol. It’s certainly eye catching and for that reason, thumbs up. 7/10
Steven: Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of this gear when I saw it this Monday, but it’s been growing on me ever since. Green is still not my favorite color, but Eve is working it out here. 7/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Raw Redux (March 8th, 2010): All About Eve

After last week’s moving tribute to womankind, I was bracing myself for the worst with this week’s show. Surprisingly, the WWE decided to put on a straight wrestling match rather than mold the Divas action to guest GM Criss Angel’s gimmick, and for that I’m grateful. But was the match anything to write home about? Let’s see:

Eve Torres, Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly make their way to the ring for a 6-Diva Tag Team match. I guess it’s been a while since we’ve seen one of those, though I haven’t really missed them.. Already in the ring are Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Katie Lea. Scrimping for time, I guess, but that’s nothing new..

Alicia and Gail start things off, Alicia latching Gail into a belly-to-back hold. Gail gets free and locks Alicia into a side headlock. Alicia tries to lift Gail up and gain the advantage, but Gail whips her to the mat, still holding onto the headlock. Alicia frees herself with a few jabs and whips Gail into the corner, charging. Gail slips through the ropes and the two trade blows before Gail leaps out of the way of a shoulder attack, landing in a straddling position on the back on Alicia’s neck. She tosses Alicia back into the ring, but Alicia regains control and whips again her into the same corner. Again, Gail blocks an attack and climbs the turnbuckle. However, instead of attacking Alicia she hits a charging Katie Lea with a flying clothesline, knocking her off the ring apron.

Gail turns her attention back to Alicia and gets a face full of boot. Alicia goes for the pin, getting a 2-count. She takes Gail to her corner and Maryse, for a moment, motions for Alicia to pound Gail’s head into her boot, but she decides against it, for whatever reason, opting instead to be tagged in. Maryse his a back breaker on Gail and goes for a pin, but Gail kicks out. She slaps Gail on the head, looking more like she’s messing up her hair rather than actually striking her. She then knocks Kelly off of the apron. Maryse gets in Gail’s face and gets slapped, getting a taste of her own medicine. Gail springs to life and tags in Eve.

Eve goes on a string of offense, getting a 2-count on Maryse. A poke in the eyes gives Maryse temporary control, until Eve nails Maryse with a kick off the ropes. She hits her somersault splash and goes for the pin, but Alicia and Katie Lea break it up. Actually, they were slowpokes and Maryse had to kick out before the referee counted 3. Get the lead out, ladies! The two of them grab Eve and slam her onto the turnbuckle. The referee, meanwhile, does nothing to stop this. A blatant 3-on-1 and all you’re gonna do is act surprised? Okay..

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week of March 1st, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Beth Phoenix‘s Saucy Secretary
Grade: Sour. Has Beth Phoenix traded in the life of a WWE Diva to be someone’s secretary? Sure looks like it. And if her super short skirt is anything to go by, she may be an Ali Larter in ‘Obsessed’ type secretary — though I’m sure she’d have no problem taking care of Beyonce. Honestly though, I don’t know why Beth so often opts to dress like she’s heading off for a day at the office and it’s not a flattering look on her. It ages her, makes her a little bit frumpy and isn’t the wardrobe of a Glamazon. The poses are the standard hands-on-hips shots that offer little diversity also.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Kelly Kelly‘s Just Dance
Grade: Sweet. Despite looking far too tanned for my liking, Kelly is dressed in cute, sexy, young club wear and looks like she’s ready to go dance the night away. Kelly fits her skinny jeans effortlessly and the the sequined top works on her too. Meanwhile, I really like Kelly with her hair up like this, it gives her more of a fashionable look than her usual hair-down look. The poses aren’t offering too much variety but I think Kelly manages to salvage it with her pearly whites. I particularly love the image we’ve used in the graphic — it looks a little more artsy than the standard Diva catalogue poses.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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In Pictures: Divas Pajama Party

Just when you thought it was okay to stop covering your eyes after Monday’s ‘Pajama Pillowfight’ trainwreck, here’s a blistering reminder. Personally, I find the whole gimmick photoshoot, and the segment on Raw itself, creepy. It sexualises things that are associated with young girls and blurs the boundaries of what’s appropriate for supposedly PG viewing. … Read more

In Video: WWE Releases Video Packages on Maryse & Mickie James

Following yesterday’s awesome ‘History of the Divas’ clip, WWE has released today two individual video packages: one dedicated to Divas Champ, Maryse and the other to mainstay Mickie James.

WWE has really been doing a great job with all the Diva love on their website in the past couple of days. If only they could put that same attention into their shows.

Watch the packages below:

Mickie after the cut:

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Raw Redux (March 1st, 2010): Welcome to Women’s History Month, Folks

Well, now that we’ve gotten past that pesky Divas Championship Tournament, it’s time to set the division back several years and have a good old fashioned pajama pillow fight. Of course, this is in keeping with this week’s guest GMs, Cheech and Chong, not that their names are synonymous with pajamas or pillow fights. I’m just guessing the Divas sitting in a circle and passing around a bong wouldn’t have been in keeping with their PG rating. But of course, the Divas looking all jailbait-y while bouncing up and down and fighting with pillows is totally PG, right? Shh.. it’s not supposed to make sense.

Speaking of sense, it’s fantastic that the WWE is starting off Women’s History Month with a sufficiently degrading match. Nothing like celebrating the accomplishments and advancement of women like making them boner-fodder for Cheech and Chong. And it’s only March 1st, people! There’s a whole month left! I can only hope a water balloon fight is next.

Watch the “match” below:

Guest GMs Cheech and Chong come to the ring, make a few jokes about how high they are, and introduce the Divas. The babyfaces come first, with Kelly Kelly leading out Gail Kim and Eve Torres. Next, appropriately, they introduce the heels as “the.. other ones!”. The other ones (also known as Maryse [I wouldn’t bring the Divas Title out for this shitfest either, girl], Alicia Fox, and Jillian) make their way to the ring. I kinda of appreciate how serious Alicia looks. With something as silly and degrading as this, it kind of takes the sting out to see the heels show how “over” this they are. Cheech and Chong seat themselves in recliners at ringside.

Maryse takes a long moment to pose for the crowd, and the rest of the Divas gang up on her. Soon this alliance breaks down and Jillian just decides to clothesline everyone. I admire her tenacity–while everyone else looks silly fighting with down feathers, she just decides to mow everyone over. She then pounds every Diva with a pillow and belts out a celebratory high note. Kelly stuffs her pillow in her face to stop the sound and hits a sloppy looking K2–bare feet don’t provide the best traction, after all. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out at 2.

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Raw Redux (Feb. 22nd, 2010) – What Took You So Long?

The bait and switch pulled at the Elimination Chamber PPV led many of us to believe that the WWE had bigger plans for the Divas Championship tournament finals. Perhaps a lengthier feud to build up such an important match? No, as it turns out, because they finally decided to have the match on a regular old ordinary episode of Raw. Watch the match below and see if it was worth all the wait:

It definitely surprised me when the Divas Championship logo passed over the screen. But I think, more than surprise, I felt relief–finally this tournament is over! Maryse makes her entrance, and Gail Kim follows. It is mentioned how badly Maryse treated Gail in their tag team match the night before, but other than that this doesn’t feel like something that has been built up over numerous weeks. It feels more like the beginning of a feud; one that started at the PPV last night. At any rate, I’m glad to see this match finally happening. Let’s get on with it.

Maryse goes for the attack at the start of the match, but Gail slips past her, catching her in a belly-to-back hold. Maryse strikes Gail to get free, but the next blow is missed, and Gail rolls Maryse into a pin. Maryse quickly kicks out. Maryse reversed an irish whip into the corner and charges at Gail, but Gail slips out through the ropes, allowing Maryse to run full on into the turnbuckle. Gail blocks a few attacks from Maryse and leaps back over the ropes, continuing the momentum into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at 2.

Gail goes on a string of offense, Maryse beginning to look sluggish. It’s only until Gail tries to bash her head against the turnbuckle that Maryse retaliates. She blocks it with her boot and hits Gail’s head against the target instead. She tosses Gail in over the ropes, but Gail quickly reverses momentum into an attempt at the Eat Defeat, but Maryse holds onto the ropes, blocking the move. She kicks Gail across the face and goes for the pin, getting a 2-count.

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Elimination Chamber in Review: Longest. Tournament. EVER.

The never-ending Divas Championship tournament was stretched yet another day as despite advertising the end of the sucker, we were swerved with an interpromotional tag team bout instead. It all went down at last night’s Elimination Chamber pay per view where Gail Kim and Maryse were due to go one-on-one for the vacated title. After weeks of embarassingly bad handling of this ‘tournament’, we were finally ready to be done with it and crown the new champion — with care so little in supply, as to who won at this point. But things became ‘flawed’, you could say, when Vickie Guerrero announced that as a result of disparaging comments by the Raw Divas against the SmackDown Divas, the two would be forced to team up against Michelle McCool and Layla aka Lay-Cool aka Simply Flawless.

Let’s start right at the beginning though, where moments before their match, we saw a backstage segment between the two would-be challengers:

We see Gail walking backstage, with a perfectly toned tummy I might add [jealous!], as Maryse catches up to her and once again speaks to her in French. We then get the reveal that Gail also speaks French and has understood all the smack that ‘Ryse has been talking about her in recent weeks. She finishes with with an amazing mock hand flip in Maryse’s face which not gonna lie, had me rolling. This was a fun little segment that I really liked; Gail spoke more than she’s spoken in a year on the roster and proved that she has some personality which was really exciting to see. It’s like Maggie Simpson finally talking! The hand flip was a fabulous added touch also. I thought the reveal that Gail speaks French etc. was nicely done and I can’t say that I saw it coming — it seems a little too sophisticated for the Raw writers, who are usually known for lame-duck segments like the Jerry Springer Show on Raw last week, so I was pleasantly surprised. Gail was great here and I want to see more of her talking, she’s got the goods in the ring — she just needs the voice to back it up and get across that personality.

Next up, we have the Divas Championship match turned tag team match:

As the Divas make their entrances, the bell rings and Maryse and Gail face off, we are interrupted by SmackDown’s ‘official consultant’, Vickie Guerrero. Guerrero calls out the Raw Divas for their ‘disparaging comments’ about the SmackDown Divas and interestingly calls herself a Diva, which hasn’t been said about her int he past. Guerrero says as the only Diva with authority in the building — yeah doesn’t make sense to us either — she’s postponing the Divas Title match in favour of a tag team match between Raw and SmackDown. Out come Michelle and Layla for this last minute bout…

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Divas Championship Match Postponed

The scheduled Divas Championship match between Gail Kim and Maryse tonight was ‘postponed’ by SmackDown consultant, Vickie Guerrero. Guerrero changed the match to an interpromotional tag team match with the two rivals facing Michelle McCool and Layla as a result of Maryse’s ‘disparaging comments’ against the SmackDown Divas in recent weeks. Maryse showed her true … Read more

Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Feb. 18th, 2010): Last Ditch Effort

Any sort of buildup to this Sunday’s Divas Championship match was noticeably absent from Monday’s Raw, but never fear! The WWE hasn’t completely forgotten about this match, for this week on WWE Superstars, Gail Kim tries to build some momentum going into the big match in taking on Katie Lea. Watch the match below:

Katie Lea takes control out of the tie-up, twisting Gail’s arm behind her back. Gail gets out of the hold by hitting a snapmare, then rolls Katie into a crucifix pin. Katie kicks out, and Gail takes her down again with an arm drag, holding onto the arm and twisting it behind her head. Katie gets free by catching Gail in a leg scissors, but Gail slips free pretty quickly, rolling Katie into a pin for a 2-count.

Katie reverses an irish whip, sending Gail into the corner. Katie charges but misses her mark when Gail slips out through the ropes. She then sends a shoulder into Katie’s midsection, flipping over her back-to-back and attempting a roll-up. Katie hangs onto the ropes, though, and Gail goes flying without her. Running in for the attack, Gail is redirected shoulder-first into the ring post. She hangs there for a while and Katie has to drag her out from between the ropes to roll her into a pin. Gail kicks out at 2.

Katie lays a few boots into Gail before latching her into an arm submission identical to the one Gail hooked her in at the beginning of the match, right down to the same arm. I like that–it tells a bit of a story. Still, we might end up with two competitors with bum left arms by the end of the match. Yikes. Michael Cole says that Katie Lea is working on Gail’s right shoulder, the shoulder that hit the ring post, but it’s actually the opposite. Oh well. Might as well take out both arms, I suppose.

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NXTeams: Diva & Rookie Duos for WWE NXT

WWE has announced the pro and rookie duos for it’s new series, WWE NXT to debut next Tuesday but quite unsurprisingly, it doesn’t seem this ‘season’ will feature any Divas. Boo! The  show will feature ‘WWE Pros’ teaming up with ‘Rookies’ as their mentors throughout the series. So we decided to come up with our own pro/rookie team suggestions for NXT. WWE, please feel free to steal and put them into practice.

AJ Lee & Melina

Pro: Melina. Three-time Women’s Champion, one time Divas Champion, Diva of the Year 2009 in Diva Dirt Year-End Awards.
Rookie: AJ Lee. Queen of FCW, former WSU Tag Team Champion.
Perhaps the most obvious pairing for WWE NXT would be to put FCW’s ‘Pocket Rocket’, the young and talented AJ Lee with Melina. Lee has long been a fan of Melina and looks up to the former Women’s Champ so it’d a dream come true for her to one day be on the same roster as the A-List Diva. But how about going one step further and having Melina mentor AJ on NXT? Melina is known for her fire and passion which comes through in the ring, but outside of the ring she’s just as easily able to play the smiley babyface and the bitchy heel. No doubt, she’d have some invaluable lessons to share with Lee who is already well on her way to one day becoming a WWE Women’s Champion! She’s already the Queen of FCW and the standout female wrestler there with Serena now called up. Melina is sweet and good-natured and would be a positive role model to Lee who I think should play a babyface. She has a great likable quality to her just like Melina.

Aksana & Maryse

Pro: Maryse. Former Divas Champion. Best Heel in Diva Dirt Year-End Awards.
Rookie: Aksana. Former world renowned fitness model.
Aksana — known in the fitness world by her real name of Zivile Raudoniene — it seems was hired following the success of Maryse in the Divas division. Both are voluptuous blondes and both have a foreign sexiness to them. Aksana could play the bitchy heel role like her mentor, Maryse in NXT — trying to psych out the other girls and make sure that she stops at nothing for success. With Maryse’s help, Aksana could be the ‘villain’ of the reality-like show. But then again, Maryse being the attention-loving Diva that she is, why would she want more competition on the main roster? This could be an interesting dynamic with Maryse sabotaging Aksana along the way and the pair clashing would make for great drama.

More after the cut:

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Raw Redux (February 8th, 2010) – An Afterthought

For weeks we’ve been following the Divas Championship tournament, with all its stops and starts. Two weeks ago we finally made the match-up for the finals, but getting to that match has been harder than it seems. Many of us want the WWE to just get it over with, as it’s been obvious from the start that Maryse will be walking away with the title. Thus, it’s been some acute form of torture to see the WWE stretch this thing out as long as possible. This week was no different, and on top of it we got some bad good news: the finals will be taking place in less than two weeks at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Until then, we’ve got two Raws to fill, and you better believe it that the WWE will give it as little build up as possible:

See? We’ve been treated to a random match between Gail Kim and Jillian, which kind of sneaks up on us because no one was given an entrance, and the match wasn’t even announced. Hey, they’ve gotta free up time for all the Shawn Michaels angst and John Cena beatdown replays! Maryse, of course, is on commentary, making this impending finals match-up even more of a laughing stock. You’d think the WWE would get that doing it this way makes it look like Maryse is the champion, scouting her challenger in Gail. I’m sure they notice, but just don’t give a shit.

In the ring, Gail and Jillian start with a tie-up, Jillian taking control and backing Gail up against the ropes. Gail slips through the ropes, falling to the outside. Jillian tosses her back into the ring and goes for a pin, getting a 1-count. She whips Gail into the corner and gets an elbow to the face when she goes for an attack. Gail climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, but Jillian sweeps her feet and knocks her all the way to the mat. Another pin, another 1-count.

Meanwhile, on commentary, Maryse talks about how much more sophisticated Raw Divas are in contrast to what’s been going on on SmackDown with Mickie James. Complain about the fat jokes all you want, Maryse, but at least they’re given more than 3 minutes of screen time. Maybe the Raw Divas should start having food fights.. Jillian pounds Gail’s head onto the mat and hoists her up, but Gail slips free, hitting the Eat Defeat. She pins Jillian for the win.

The match, which was literally ONE MINUTE long, was as good as any match could be with such a ridiculous time limit. I give boatloads of credit to Jillian and Gail for making such a joke of a match interesting and fun with what little they were given. Funny, though, that the post-match promo was longer than the match itself. Maryse, get priority? Never!!

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Maryse vs. Gail Set for Elimination Chamber PPV

The finals for the Divas Championship Tournament are set to (finally) take place in less than two weeks at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Maryse will take on Gail Kim, obviously, and we will at last have some closure for the tournament that was prompted all the way back in December when champion Melina injured her … Read more

In Pictures: Maryse & The Miz at Data Awards

Barbie and Ken… whoops, I mean Maryse and The Miz attended the first ever Data Awards last week in LA. Usually, we’d have more pictures from these events but I guess the photogs realised they weren’t real celebrities and hurried them along the red carpet. Just kidding. Kinda. Sorta. Not really. Peep the picture below: