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Impact Write-Up (April 21st, 2011): The Sh*t Has Hit the Fan!

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Hello there! Didn’t I just see you guys like four days ago? Geeze! I love you. Really. Last week, we saw two BFFs finally combust into a fiery pit of despair. We also saw a number one contender, gimp arm and all, come into her inner strength. This week, we’ve got a tag team match for the Knockouts Tag Team Championships and some backstage antics that could leave you either majorly excited or scratching your head in question. Either way, I’m determined to make this fun so grab your refreshments, take a comfy seat and turn up the volume because I’m going to need your full attention. I demand it! Do you know who I am?! Who do you think you are?! I’m the Queen! Me! ME! Oh just go read the Write-Up already! =P

We start things off backstage where it seems like the cameras are spying on Madison Rayne and Tara. The former Knockouts Champion is all up in Tara’s grill, telling that it was her fault she lost her title to Mickie James four days prior. She says that for all she knows, the two of them are in cahoots. Tara reminds her that it was her locked in the cage with Mickie and Madison goes on to say that she wasn’t there when she needed her. From what I recall, Madi, you demanded Tara stay in the back and play with little dollies while you unceremoniously got your ass beat. But that’s just one person’s reflection. Oh wait..nope, Tara remembers it the same way I do. Maybe we’re in cahoots! CAHOOTS!

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Impact Write-Up (April 14th, 2011): Come Over to the Dark Side, Angelina (We Have Free Drinks)

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Oh oh Oh oh Oh! Oh oh Oh oh! Oh oh Oh oh Oh! The Right Stuff! Wait…this is totally the wrong website for that. I’m sorry. Where was I? Oh yes. It is time for yet another Diva Dirt edition of the TNA iMPACT Write-Up, brought to you by yours truly! Last week, we saw a zombie finally turn on her BFF. Brainssssss! We also saw a motorcycle accident leaving a fallen contender with a more than a few scrapes and bruises. This week, the theme is retribution and you had better believe someone’s going to get it! So if you’re all for the heroic story or even a healthy beatdown or two then step into my office. We need to have a little chat.

Our first glimpse of the TNA Knockouts comes to us from backstage where Velvet Sky is banging on what appears to be the locker room of Angelina Love, giving the fact that Velvet is screaming her name like a banshee. A second later, Winter opens the door and steps out, telling Velvet to keep it down. Velvet screams that she isn’t talking to her and Winter tells her that Angelina is resting and in case Velvet hasn’t noticed, Angelina wants nothing to do with her former BFF. Vel Vel, obviously stressed, demands to know what Winter has done with her TBP partner but Winter takes it as an insult. Angelina is a big girl and can make her own decisions, having decided she wants nothing more to do with Velvet. Winter tells her to just live with it.

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Impact Write-Up (April 7th, 2011): Oh Snap! Madison Plows Through the Competiton…

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Last week, during iMPACT!, we saw a singles match between two rival Knockouts, battling for the affection of a drugged out and clearly twitterpated, blonde Canadian. It saw a sad defeat and a declaration of rescue, made by a scorned best friend, set for vengeance. This week, our beloved Beautiful People are set to challenge for the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships, in hopes of possibly rekindling the fire of their friendship. Will we see a positive reunion between the two blonde BFFs or has the sinister wicked witch finally ripped them apart for good? There is only one way to find out. Saddle up, boys and girls.


skip to the 6:30 minute mark.

Our first major glimpse of Knockouts action comes in the form of a backstage segment that shows Angelina Love, with her back to the camera. Winter is at her side, clearly stressed out and attempting to persuade Angelina, once again, that Velvet Sky does not care about her. She states that Velvet doesn’t have Angelina’s best interest at heart like she does. She tells Angelina that she loves her and will always be there for her. With a twirl of the chair, that damn mystery red cup rears its ugly head and Winter tells her new playtoy to drink her drink, it will calm her nerves. I’m pretty sure the only one needing calming of ther nerves here is Winter. Give that woman some prozac or something. Perhaps even a straight jacket will do the trick.

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Impact Write-Up (March 31st, 2011): Winter Puts a Chokehold on the Beautiful People

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Welcome back, once again, to the another edition of the TNA Impact Write-Up here on Diva Dirt. You all know who I am so there is no real need for formal introductions. If you don’t know, you have a bit of catching up to do, don’t you? ;) Last week, we saw a definite improvement, in regards to Knockout matches, between two rival women who just can’t seem to get enough of beating the hell out of each other. We also saw a rather eerie and even, science fictionesque turn in the land of The Beautiful People. I can definitely say that I saw that one coming. This week, we’ve got a singles match between two newer rivals, who can’t stop fighting over a favorite blonde Canadian. There is bound to be blood.

Our first wacky glimpse of the Knockouts, comes in the form of Angelina Love and Winter standing backstage. Angelina has a red plastic cup of some concoction in her hand and Winter is stroking her hair, telling her everything is going to be alright. This is all just a small bump in the road. Winter tells her that her drink will calm her nerves. She goes on to say that Velvet Sky is a big girl and that she cost them their titles out of jealousy, she wants Angelina all to herself, to control her. Winter just couldn’t let that happen. She claims she is just trying to protect Angelina, nothing personal against Velvet.

Cue recap video package of recent months, reminding us all how this weird development came about. All those weird and SyFy channelesque moments that no one can seem to wash from their memory, leading up until last week.

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Impact Write-Up (March 24th, 2011): Take a Step Into The Twilight Zone…

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Oh here we go! It is that time of the week yet again and I am back with another rendition of the Impact Write-Up! Yes, it is yours truly and I can definitely say that after last week, I’m hoping TNA went for a little redemption factor this week. Last week, we saw a three minute “streetfight” between four of TNA’s Knockouts and their respective male partners. We also saw a flash in the pan(har har) return from former Knockout Alissa Flash in a very unsuccessful try against the TNA Knockouts Champion. This week, we’ve got a match between two women who just can’t seem to get enough of beating the hell out of each other. And..we are also going to explore another chapter in the new developing saga of the troop of Mexican Americans looking to stake their claim on the company. Buckle up, strap in, do whatever it takes to secure yourself to your location. You’re in for a ride.

HARDCORE COUNTRY! Our first glimpse of Knockout action comes in the form of Mickie James, bounding to the ring in those classic daisy dukes and a teal fringe top with gorgeous red hair. She is set to take on Tara, who we see backstage, straddling her crotch rocket. Out of nowhere, Madison Rayne storms up and demands that Tara destroy Mickie, or else! Tara questions it but Madison is quick to let her know that this isn’t a classroom, she doesn’t need to ask questions. She just needs to go do her job. Job? Yes. Go do your job, Tara. Do all of Madison’s dirty work so she can squash Mickie at Lockdown. Winning. Duh. BROKEN! BROKEN! And out she rides, complete with the giant bow on her backside and no sooner than she can climb the apron, the veteran is flipped over to her backside. Good thing she brought that extra cushion, huh?

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Impact Write-Up (March 17th, 2011): The Street Fight That Never Was…

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My, how the time flies. I feel like I just did this. Haha. Last week, we saw a six way tag team match between The Beautiful People and their paranormal counterpart against a midnight snack, a bowl of spicy salsa and their mile-wide hip…ster, Angelina Pivarnick. We also saw the quick and fruitless return of former TNA Knockout, Roxxi, to the Impact Zone. Needless to say, it was a definite sight to see. This week, we have yet another installment of the championship open challenge, as well as a mixed tag team street fight that is bound to leave us all scratching our heads. Are you as excited as I am? Oh come on. I know you are. It’s time to flip the switch and shine the light! Vamos!

Our fight glimpse comes from the trailer park behind the arena, where Angelina Love and Velvet Sky are seen prepping for their match later in the night. Well, A. Love is grooming her blonde locks while Velvet seems far too pumped. She tells Angelina to go after the little one while she finishes some unfinished business with Sarita. A. Love, all the while, seems none so interested and almost spaced out while Vel Vel rambles on, talking about how excited she is that they are finally going to be teaming up again. Because they totally didn’t do that a couple of weeks ago or anything. Geez! Anyway, in comes Winter, much to Velvet’s dismay and she informs Velvet that it will not be her in the street fight. Instead, Vel is out and Winter is in, due to Velvet’s jealousy this past Sunday at Victory Road. Winter goes to pull Angelina away but Velvet is hellbent on trying to convince A. Love that it wasn’t her fault they lost at the pay-per-view. She is sticking to her guns that she was only trying to help them. All Angelina can do is simply look annoyed and confused, albeit even, under the influence of drugs. I’m pretty sure Winter is slipping her ruffies.

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Jersey Shore Angelina’s In-Ring Debut is a Ratings Dud

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The in-ring debut of Jersey Shore star Angelina Pivarnick this past Thursday on Impact proved to be a dud in the ratings. Pivarnick’s match, which saw her team with Cookie and Sarita against The Beautiful People and Winter, scored the lowest quarter hour of the entire show at just a 1.12, according to ProWrestling.net. Angelina’s … Read more

Impact Write-Up (March 10th, 2011): The Beautiful People Send Angelina Swimming Back to the Jersey Shore

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So last week, we saw a monstrosity of a wedding that never should have happened in the first place. I mean, who renews their vows after only six months of marriage? Exactly. We also saw the continuing battle between Velvet Sky and Sarita which turned into a fist pumping party for Angelina from the Jersey Shore. This week, we’ve got that oh so awaited six way match featuring Miss Pavarnick as well as another installment in the Madison Rayne Open Challenge series. I know you’ve waited a week for it. Don’t lie. So grab a slice of humble pie, this show is about to get interesting.

Our first glimpse into Knockout beauty comes in the form of a backstage segment between The Beautiful People, Velvet Sky and Angelina Love. They are seen sitting down, lacing up their boots for their six way tag match later in the evening. They’re talking about the Jersey Shore girls and how they just can’t get enough of TBP. Naturally, as if on cue, the trio of Angelina Pavarnick, Cookie and Sarita come strolling in, much to the delight of Vel Vel and A. Love who have them confused with the football team. I’ll admit. I choked on my sweet tea. Anyway, Angelina from the Shore, tells the entire room to shut the f*** up and states that Jersey girls tell someone they’re gonna kick their ass before they actually do it. Really? Is it that important that it deserves a pre-notification? She claims it is proper etiquette and she’s going to embarass them in front of their whole crew. Who that crew is, I have no idea.

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Impact Write-Up (March 3rd, 2011): Angelina Washes Up from the (Jersey) Shore

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Welcome, my darlings, to the ever so late Impact Write-Up. I apologize for the serious tardy on my part. Unexpected twelve hour shifts at work are never a pleasant surprise. Now, onto the business at hand…last week, we saw the return of yet another former TNA Knockout in ODB in an answer to Madison Rayne‘s open challenge. We also saw an array of backstage segments between several other Knockouts that lead up to current happenings. This week, Impact is coming from Fayetteville, North Carolina and there is a special guest set to show up. We’ve got the ill-awaited “final” battle between two of TNA’s top Knockouts, set to end this war once and for all. Not to mention, that we’ve all been invited to a wedding! Oh Yeah. Why are we still discussing this? Let’s get this ball rolling!

In the ring first, accompanied by her tiny tot cousin Rosita, is Sarita. There’s a tongue twister for you. Set to due battle against Velvet Sky for the “final” time, to settle all the scores, Sarita is looking to dance her way through this match. I don’t really know what to make of their outfits so I won’t even being to scratch that surface. Obviously out next is Velvet, dressed in her signature color of pink and ready to get get this match started. It has been weeks after weeks of torment from Sarita and finally, Velvet has a chance to prove what she’s worth. She is accompanied to the ring by Angelina Love who looks glistening as always. Sorry guys but the pigeons are going to have to stay in the coop this week because Velvet is wasting no time getting in the ring and all up in Sarita’s grill.

Let me remind you, as Taz and Mike Tenay do several times, this match could very well be Velvet Sky’s last match in TNA if she can’t bring home the win. Anyway, Velvet is ready to do this but Sarita is set on playing games, turning around to cross her arms. The purpose? Don’t ask me. Haha. Grabbing a handful of Sarita’s hair, Velvet almost looks to pull her back but Sarita kicks back that leg, only to be caught at the ankle. Velvet comes at her with a clothesline and with a quick lift-up, Velvet counters on Sarita with a falling crossbody pin attempt. It is a quick no good and they’re both back up. A kick and a slap, double time and they’re going across the ring. I swear I got severely dizzy for a moment. I’ve been staring at a computer screen all day. Literally.

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Impact Write-Up (February 24th, 2011): I Hope ODB Knows How to Count to Three!

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Oh what a week it has been! I am so glad that now is the time for the weekly Diva Dirt TNA Impact Write-Up! I want to thank you for joining me and strapping in for this rollercoaster ride! Last week, we saw a beautiful former TNA Knockout return to the Impact Zone in the form of Traci Brooks. She took out the mean mugging Cookie to help her man, Kazarian. We also saw a hot sauce feud begin to come to an end between two current Knockouts and we were given a sneak peek into this week’s Impact. This week, we finally get to see how this Open Challenge fiasco is going to work for the self-proclaimed “Queen” of the Knockouts division. We are also graced with a load of backstage happenings that I can’t even begin to describe so let’s put this baby in gear and get on the road! It’s time for some action!

Our first glimpse of the Knockouts comes in the form of The Beautiful People, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky in their dressing room(aka the trailer park). Angelina seems to be trying to talk her BFF out of the career threatening match with Sarita, a challenge issued last week. Velvet says she’s aware of what Angelina is trying to say but what would Angelina do in her situation? A. Love comes back with the fact that Sarita is the point and Sarita is just loco. Not to mention, her little chihuahua of a cousin, Rosita, running around behind her. Angelina even goes on to say that it isn’t Velvet’s ability(like everyone else thinks) but it’s Sarita and she’s crazy. Velvet says it’s nothing personal but she just needs to be alone. She needs to be alone to collect her thoughts and that’s just what she gets. Angelina leaves Vel Vel to pinch her nose and battle her demons on her own. Oh Velvet. I feel for you but I hate your outfit.

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